On My Bathroom Fetish

Every since I can remember…I’ve had a freakish love of bathrooms.

Maybe it’s some sort of “past life thing” when I lived in Rome, Italy.

Perhaps I was a bathroom attendant at one of those Roman Spas, where I fetched people their towels and bathrobes.

(and made lousy tips)

When I was a child and my parents would take me along to visit their friends’ home, I would secretly disappear into the bathroom and just hang out for 30-40 minutes. I was especially fond of people who had multiple bathrooms, because this way I could spend some time in each one.

My parents and their friends loved to play cards, so when they would be right in the middle of a good hand, I would slowly work my way towards the “loo.”

Once I got inside, I would lock the door and proceed to do the most bazaar things.

Like, opening up the medicine cabinet and seeing what brands of aspirin, cough syrup, toothpaste, deodorant, mouthwash, shaving cream, and prescription drugs they used. I would sometimes even use the mouthwash and toothpaste.

The cabinets under the sink were always interesting, because I would discover what kind of cleaning supplies they used for the bathroom. Comet or Ajax? Mr. Clean or Pinesol?

Sometimes I would also find face and body moisturizers, tampons, blow dryers, curling irons…and filthy hair brushes!

If they had a toilet brush, I would enjoy brushing out the toilet, and then flushing it half a dozen times.

Oh…and the BATHTUB was a magical place! Shampoos, conditioners, back brushes and soap bars. I would sometimes sit down in the empty tub, and pantomime taking a bath. And if they had a really nice shower curtain, I would close it and then slowly open it; pretending I was on stage singing and dancing.

(“West Side Story” was my favorite. I would play the Sharks and the Jets at the same time)

And then the inevitable would happened…someone would always knock on the bathroom door and rudely interrupt my entertainment.

When I would return to the room where the card game was going on, my mother would always say, “Dear God, Ronnie….where have you BEEN?”

I would say, “Oh, I was in the bathroom and had a hard time making a poopy.”

Finally, one day, I can’t remember if someone caught me doing this neurotic stuff, or I just confessed it to my mother - but my bathroom fetish came to light!

To this day, my mother and I will always have a good laugh on the phone, when reminiscing about my childhood.

But the strange thing…is that I still enjoy doing this. It’s my favorite room in the house. I just LOVE bathrooms.

So please know, that if I’m ever a guest in your home and you can’t find me for an hour…you’ll know where I’ll be.

(and please HIDE anything you don’t want me to see)

Hi…I’m Ron…and I’m a bathroomaholic.




Photo: Dharma Lemon

20 comments

  1. Happy New Year, sweetie !

    I share your fetish :)

    When I was designing my master bath shower, I made the contractor stand in a space with me and have both of us with our arms up and elbows out as if we were shampooing our hair. That gave us a 4' x 4' floor space.

    Then I measured how tall he was (6'1"), and picked both shower head heights so that it would work for a guy, not just a woman. (Standard code height is too low, and the water hits you on the shoulder !)

    Then I measured for a seat, and found that 20" high was most comfortable, as was 20" deep.

    Then I put all my shampoo and conditioner bottles together, and the soap niche ended up being 30" wide and 18' high...

    You can come visit anytime :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. *hanging head*

    Don't make me confess. LOL

    (And here I was ALL sortsa excited by the duckies on the wall and doors, thinkin'......wow.......another duckie fan!)

    ReplyDelete
  3. You're not wierd Ron - I love bathrooms too!

    You would love mine because I have two shelf units full of shampoos, conditioners, bath oils,etc, etc, etc. Everyone says it looks like a chemists shop! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Afternoon Annie~

    SO GLAD TO SEE YOU BACK!!!!!!

    I hope you had a fabulous Christmas. I thought about you often, sending you much LOVE!

    Oh, Annie...THANK GOD I'm not the only bathroom freak!

    Hey...I think that's wonderful planning on YOUR part about the height and width! This way...it fits ANYONE (incase you have a shower buddy)tee-hee!

    Your bathroom sound heavenly. God...I'd have a "field day" in there. I'd probably spend close to 2 hours (and maybe even get lost)!

    Thanks so much for stopping by to say Hi and to let me know your back online. It's ALWAYS a pleasure, Annie!

    Happy New Year,
    Ron

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ok Mel...fess up!

    I SWEAR...I won't tell a single soul!

    Oh...and do you know what's funny?

    I actually have a little rubber duck sitting on the edge of the tub (I mean it).

    Quack..Quack!

    So good seeing you Mel. You always make me smile!

    Enjoy your day!
    Mr. Duckie

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh, heavens Akelamalu...this post has brought all my readers who have a bathroom love...out of the closet!

    Yeppeee!

    Maybe we should all get together once a year and visit each others bathrooms.

    Your's sounds like a "goldmine." I just LOVE investigating new products!

    Thanks for sharing your passion, Akelamalu...you make me proud!

    Now let's FLUSH,
    Ron

    ReplyDelete
  7. Only ONE?!

    Last night the tub will filled with bubbles and five flashing, lit duckies.

    The mama duck and four babies were envious so they jumped in and the SPITTIN' duckie didn't wanna be lonely so he joined us too.

    I'm PROUD to be acquainted with another duckie fan--how do ya feel about penguins?

    How's that for a mini confession? LOL

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh my God, Mel...you should be on Saturday Night Live!!!!

    I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face, laughing my ass off!

    You NEED to take a picture of that and do a post on your blog!!!!

    I'd give ANYTHING to see it!

    TRUE CONFESSIONS!!

    Ok...and your mentioned PENGUINS! Do you know, that when March of The Penguins came out...I watched it like, 5 times!!! I own the BOOK!

    This is TOO weird, Mel...Ducks and Penguins!

    My other obsession is Squirrels.

    Oh...thank you so much for wonderful laugh!!!

    The Penguin

    ReplyDelete
  9. I meant to say you must visit

    http://nybathrooms.blogspot.com/

    Bathrooms of the World' it's just fascinating!

    Some photographs I've taken are on there - not my bathrooms though! :0

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi Akelamalu~

    Oh, boy....can't WAIT to visit that blog!!!! Yepeee!

    Thanks for the lead!

    Cheers,
    Ron

    ReplyDelete
  11. Bathroom Ron! Oh you would love the bathroom in my old house, it had secret doors! You would have swooned at the stained glass over the tub,ahhhh.
    Giggle
    I guess I will have to spruce up the one I have now!
    Smile
    Happy New year my dear friend, Bright blessings in abundance!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sorrow~

    Oh, my God...a STAIN GLASS CEILING???? Oh...HEAVEN on earth! And SECRET DOORS??? I'd of NEVER left your bathroom!

    I was just thinking about and was coming over to leave you a Happy New Years comment!

    Thanks for stopping by here. And I wish you bright blessings in abundance too!

    It's been an absolutely pleasure meeting you this year...your a GEM!

    Cheers,
    Ron

    ReplyDelete
  13. Happy HAPPY New Year, Ron!!

    (k...it's close enough--so pffffttttt!)

    By chance I took a photo of Seemore and Seeless Squirrel just yesterday!
    Oh, don't ask....LOL I really DO name everything.

    ReplyDelete
  14. HAPPY NEW YEAR MEL!!!!!

    Thanks for stopping by for your well-wishes!

    You've GOT to post on those squirrels...I'm dying to see them!

    Ok...it's 3AM...I've GOT to get to bed now....good night! (or good morning)

    2008,
    Ron

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wishing you A HAPPY NEW YEAR and everything that's good.

    It's been an absolute pleasure getting to know you Ron. x

    ReplyDelete
  16. Happy New Year,
    My bathroom friend. A little insight to your personality is refreshing. I can't say that I share your fetish but I do get the most quiet times and the sometimes the most rewarding feelings after I have been to the old Water Closet. If you ever have the need to search my toilet let me know if you find the cap to the toothpaste it has gone somewhere and I can't find it. Have a wonder New Year and stay warm.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Happy New Year Akelamalu!

    And DITTO to you...it's been a pleasure!

    YEAAAAAH...it's 2008!!!!

    Love,
    Ron

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hiya Dave!

    And HAPPY NEW YEAR BUDDY!!!!!!

    Yeah...this is a post about "strange, yet true confessions" on my childhood!

    (Don't worry.. you ain't heard nothing yet!?@!)

    That's why I love this blog...it's a little bit of EVERYTHING!

    Oh, God...don't ya hate when you drop the toothpaste cap and you can't find it??? I mean, where the HELL does it go?? It's like losing 1 sock in the dryer!

    One of life's MYSTERIES!

    Anyway, Mr. Dave...thanks SO MUCH for stopping by to say HAPPY NEW YEAR.

    It's been such a blessing meeting you!

    (thank you, God)

    I need to go to the bathroom now,
    Ron

    ReplyDelete
  19. My first visit..you made me smile when I saw your blog, but then you made me laugh when I read this post!
    I cannot say that I have a bathroom fetish, but I cannot deny opening a cabinet or two when visiting as a child. I just never got caught. :)
    Seems we have traveled more than one path..I am originally from central Florida. If you tell me you shopped at the Lake Square Mall I will really know this was meant to be..hee, hee.
    I'll be back to visit.
    Namaste',
    ~g-h

    ReplyDelete
  20. Greetings Gypsy-Heart!

    Welcome...THANK YOU for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment!

    It's nice meeting a new visitor!

    And thanks for "fessing up" on opening a cabinet or two.

    (isn't it fun?)

    And I swear that I won't tell a single soul...shhhh!

    And OH MY GOD...this WAS meant to be! I lived in Orlando for 18 years and I worked in Saks at the Orlando Fashion Square Mall. And I HAVE been to Lake Square Mall!!

    (we have Florida karma)

    To funny isn't it?

    We'll have LOTS to talk about. Please feel free to stop anytime it moves you...it's a pleasure meeting you.

    I'll stop by your place later this evening.

    Happy New Year,
    Ron

    ReplyDelete