Wednesday, March 12, 2008

"Can you get me something?"

These words make me what to SCREAM!”

I can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me….

I’m at work, getting ready to go on a break or take my lunch hour…and suddenly half the people I work with ask me to bring them back something to eat or drink.

(or possibly their dry cleaning or have their tires rotated)

I DESPISE this…and do you want to know why?

Because it’s MY break and MY lunch hour and I’m not some little GoFER!!

Jeees!

I can’t tell you how much this burns my buttocks.

I finally got to the point where I made a general announcement to the entire staff and told them to please don’t ever bother asking me to do this, because I’m a selfish little bastard and the answer will always be NO.

*I have made exceptions on a rare occasion if someone is ill (or dying) and needs a band-aid.

But other than that…NO WAY!

I made this my rule when at one time, while going for coffee, 3 people asked me to also get them a cup in which each coffee needed 7 different condiments in it. They wrote it all down on a piece of paper which ended up looking like the Da Vinci Code. I spent my entire break getting coffee for them, and then ended up having 5 seconds to drink my own.

One time (and I swear to God) a girl I worked with, asked me to get her TAMPONS while I was going on a break.

And I responded, “Yea, sure…so what do you use, The OB Method or just plain Tampax? And while I’m at it, how about a nice hot water bottle for your CRAMPS?”

Could you believe the GONADS on her???

And then I said, “You’ve GOT to be out of your mind, woman. Because not only will I NOT do that for you, but I’m going to pretend that you never even asked me”

Look, I’m a mean man, I admit it. But I would never have ask her to get me a can of JOCK ITCH SPRAY while she was going for lunch!

The End