Yes, This Post Is Meant To Disturb

Friday, April 18, 2014 31 Comments

Okay, I need to passionately vent about a topic that is very serious. And I'm going to be using a lot of CAPS to stress my point.

You see, it's not cell phones that bother me, it's HOW people use them.

If people can’t put their damn cell phones away while driving a car, then they have a problem, because nothing is THAT important it can't wait until they're NOT driving.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve almost been HIT by a car or cab driver who was texting because they were NOT paying attention to what they were supposed to be doing – DRIVING.

New York City has the right idea because if you’re ever spotted by a police officer using your cell phone while driving a vehicle (even if you’re stopped at a red light), they will PULL YOUR ASS OVER and ticket you. And they STRICTLY enforce it because I know of two people who were ticketed in NYC.

And do you know what I have to say about that? BRAVO, New York! And BRAVO to any state or country who has this law and enforces it.

Texting while driving a vehicle is like driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs because it clouds your judgment and makes you TOTALLY irresponsible.

I think people have forgotten that driving a car is a SERIOUS responsibility. And a responsibility not only to yourself and fellow-passengers, but also to the pedestrians who are walking on the streets and other car drivers.

And while I’m on this subject, what’s with the comatext people who walk down the city streets with their eyes looking down at their cell phone, who SLAM into me because they’re not paying attention to what’s going on around them, and then look at ME like I’m the one who should say, “Excuse me.”

I also can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen pedestrians walking down the street while texting, who almost got hit by a moving vehicle because they were getting ready to cross over a green light. There have been times when I've actually had to quickly grab someone by the shoulders and pull them back onto the curb because they were INCHES away from getting hit by a bus.

Cell phone usage has gotten unconsciously and carelessly WAY out of hand, people.

And quite frankly, I’m OVER it.

Yes, it would be a tragedy to harm or kill yourself in a car accident, due to texting while driving. However, it would be even more of a tragedy if I harmed or killed someone else, due to my irresponsibility, because I could not live the rest of my life in any kind of peace knowing I did that.

I leave you now with a commercial about driving while texting. And I make no apologies if it disturbs anyone because that’s EXACTLY what this commercial is supposed to do – DISTURB and WAKE UP.

Because the thing is, so many people think this would/could never happen to them.

If you're texting, you're not driving.

And if you're texting, you're not walking either.

Have a grrrreat weekend everyone! 
And thank you for hearing me out because I had to get this topic off my chest, THAT'S how strongly I feel about it.

Photographs: The Uniqueness Of Windows

Monday, April 14, 2014 52 Comments

Like doors, I find windows both fascinating and symbolic.

Windows have their own unique look, personality and feel. Some are square, some are arched. Some are clear, some are stained. Some are ornately dressed, while others are bare.

And it's interesting because windows are not only something we look through, but they also reflect, like mirrors.

I always look at windows like the eyes of a building. And I look at the shades or curtains as the eyelids; whether they're open, closed, or halfway closed.

Today I would like to share some window photographs, most of which I captured over the past three months, but a few are from last year. I also wove quotes between some of them that I thought were inspirational and humorous.

Please enjoy some window watching...













Happy Monday, y'all!

A Sure Way Not To Forget The Toilet Paper

Friday, April 11, 2014 56 Comments

Don’t you hate when after doing your ‘business’ in the bathroom, you look over and see this…

and then you say to yourself, “Shit…that was my last roll of toilet paper!!!!”

That’s when normally I ponder, “Should I use one of the MANY napkins I've cumulatively hijacked from Starbucks that are in my kitchen cupboard, or should I use a paper towel?”

But then I realize that I won’t be able to flush the napkin or paper towel down the toilet because it might clog the pipes and cause an overflow.

Oh, what to do…what to do. Decisions…decisions.

Well, what I usually do is opt for using a napkin and then pray to god almighty that it doesn’t overflow the toilet.

And usually my prayers are answered.

However, that’s not really the worst part. The worst part for me is that after this happens, I always seem to forget to buy more toilet paper, which is exactly what happened on the day I ran out of toilet paper last week.

Yup, I went to Walgreens drugstore after I left work and purchased everything I needed EXCEPT toilet paper. So, that night and the next morning, I had to use a few more napkins from my stash of Starbucks.

Gee…I wonder if Starbucks knows that their 100% recycled napkins are being used as recycled toilet paper in my house?

Well, if they ever discover this post, they will.

Anyway, I was bound and determined NOT to forget to buy more toilet paper the following day, so I devised a non-forget plan.

And here’s what I did.

I took the empty roll of toilet paper and placed it DIRECTLY in front of my apartment door on the inside, so that it would be a STRONG visual reminder as I was leaving the house.

Exhibit A:

Then, right before I left the house that morning, I placed the empty roll of toilet paper INSIDE the nylon bag I take to work with me every day, which contains all the things I need for work, such as sample supplies.

Exhibit B:

And I did this so that anytime I opened my bag at work to grab some samples, it would constantly remind me to buy toilet paper.

Wasn’t that brilliant?

However (and this is the embarrassing part)…

At one point during the day, I opened my bag in front of a customer to get them a sample, and out POPPED the empty toilet paper roll and landed on the counter.

Wasn't that special?

So of course, rather than look like a total buffoon, I decided to tell them the truth about why I had an empty roll of toilet paper in my bag.

And do you know what? They actually laughed and thought it was a great idea!

And it was a great idea because right after work, I marched my chafed butt into Walgreens and purchased more toilet paper…

P.S. And thank you Starbuck's for the toilet paper substitute. However, I need to mention that your napkins are a little rough on the derriere, so you might want to try making them a bit softer for toilet-paper-forgetters, like me.

Have a SUPER weekend everyone!
And remember…don’t forget the toilet paper!

The Roaring Twenties And The Great Gatsby

Monday, April 7, 2014 45 Comments

About two months ago I watched the movie, The Great Gatsby, by Australian director, producer and screenwriter, Baz Luhrmann, and really enjoyed it.

It's strange, because although I don’t normally care for remakes of original films, there was something about this 2013 version that I found lavishly juicy. And I think a lot of that had to do with the amazing computer generated effects and production design, which gave the film a decadent and excessive quality, much like it was in the roaring twenties with the high-octane parties, music, and style.

Especially for someone like, Jay Gatsby, who was a millionaire and lived a larger than life existence.

Another thing I enjoyed was that Baz Luhrmann fused the music soundtrack with many popular vocal artists of today, giving the film both a past and present feel. Again, I don’t normally like when a director takes a movie classic and updates it, however, it seemed to work for Luhrmann’s own unique interpretation of The Great Gatsby novel.

But above all, my favorite things about this film were the clothes, jewelry, hair, makeup, and the whole Art Deco design of the era, which was largely due to Catherine Martin, who was the production/costume designer of this film, and who is also the wife of Baz Luhrmann.

Catherine’s design of this film was nothing short of brilliant. In fact, she won the Academy Award for Best Production Design for The Great Gatsby, which she very much deserved.

Overall, the film got mixed reviews. But as I shared, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it because I didn't think I would.

Allow me to take you on a brief flashback to the roaring twenties and The Great Gatsby.

Please note the attention to detail in these production photos. It’s flawless!

I'm, Jay Gatsby!

Inside the home of Jay Gatsby

A computer generated Times Square in New York City

Jay Gatsby's swimming pool

A party scene

Men's and women's fashion - love the hats!

Characters Nick Carraway and Tom Buchanan

Daisy and Jay - the crystal chandelier dress she's wearing was made by Prada - yup...and they're real crystals

Jay Gatsby's car - a Duesenberg 

Two jazz nightclub dancers

A car party - also computer generated

Jewelry collection used in the film by Tiffany

Jay and Daisy dancing

1920's flappers!

Have a ROARING Monday, y'all!

Troll Stories

Friday, April 4, 2014 48 Comments

I'm sure after reading this post, you'll be tempted to contact a mental institution and have me committed for peculiar insanity.

As most of my longtime blogging friends know, I have a small collection of trolls. In the '60's, when trolls were very popular, I had a bunch of them but eventually tossed or gave them away.

Then in the '90's, when trolls were suddenly rediscovered, my interest in them was reignited. Back then I was a licensed cosmetologist, so some of my clients who also collected trolls would bring them in for me to cut and style their hair, and paint their finger and toenails. And no, I never charged my clients extra, I did it for fun.

Yes...I know, I'm crazy. But I'm even crazier than that because I actually NAME my trolls and make up stories about them.

Many years ago one of my blogging friends, Nitebyrd, mailed me a troll, which you will soon see below. She also mailed me a second one about a year and a half ago, which you will also see.

Then, last week while I was at work, one of my dear coworkers surprised me with a gift. She gave me two trolls that her daughter originally had and was getting ready to throw out. She told her daughter, "No...don't throw them out, I'll give them to Ron, he loves trolls!"

Wasn't that awesome of her?

So, allow me to share some troll stories. The first two trolls were the ones given to me by Nitebyrd. And the second two were given to me by my coworker, who incidentally reads my blog.

*waving at her*

See...I told you I was going to blog about this!

Nikki is a part-time stripping cheerleader. And don't laugh because she makes a hefty second income stripping at some of the men's clubs, here in Philly. Yes, she may look innocent, but you should see when she rips that cheerleader costume off and twirls those pom-pom's around while dancing to the song, "Steam Heat." The audience goes WILD! And by the way, Nikki is also an Aerospace Engineer and poet. VERY multi-talented lady!

This is Zack the zombie. Zack is actually a celebrity troll because he was one of the original dancing zombies in the Michael Jackson music video....Thriller. If you ever get a chance to watch the video, look for Zack, he's in the second row of dancing zombies on the far right. He's kind of small, so it's hard to see him. But he's a killer dancer!

Now, here are my two new trolls.

This is Hilda the German barmaid. She owns and works at one of the German pubs in Philly. She serves beer on tap and hot soft pretzels with German mustard. Don't you love her little Oktoberfest outfit? And let me tell you, she makes GREAT tips because all the men think she's a hottie. And can you blame them with that FUCHSIA hair of hers? Plus, I think they dig her thick German accent.

Next up is Pierre the French artist.

An extraordinary artist, Pierre specializes in oil painting but is also very accomplished in watercolor, charcoal, and graphic design. He misses France a lot and talks of his days on the streets of Paris, painting the Eiffel Tower while smoking some grass. Additionally, Pierre is a wonderful French cook. In fact, the other night he made me a lovely Boeuf Bourguignon.

Here is a graphic design that Pierre did of me two days ago, using Photoshop. Isn't it spectacular? Oui, Oui!

I would like to conclude this post by sharing something very interesting about all female and male trolls.

Warning: if nudity offends you, you might not want to look at the next two photographs because they're a bit risque.

Do you notice anything similar between Hilda and Pierre? No? Well, scroll down to the next photo and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Have a magnifique weekend everyone!

Update: Hi folks! I am experiencing a major outage with my Internet service this morning, sometimes I have it and other times not. So if you don't see me online, you'll know why. Supposedly, my service will be restored in 24 hours. Let's hope so.

Update 2: Well, it looks like I got my Internet service restored, I think.

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