The Art of Line Switching


It’s ironic how being an impatient person, I will always seem to draw experiences to me that try to teach me the lesson of PATIENCE.

And even though I know this, I’m not always successful at learning the lesson.

You see, I'm one of those fortunate people who continually seems to pick the SLOWEST line.

This happens to me whether I’m in the bank, the store, or even the toll booth line when I use to have a car.

A few days ago, while I was on my way to work, I stopped by the drug store to pick up some shower gel. There were two check-out cashiers working at the time, so I picked a line and waited.

Well, let me tell you…

I could have read TWO novelettes and had a complete rhinoplasty procedure, during the time I waited.

It was obvious in the way the cashier was moving, that she either didn’t drink coffee or hadn‘t had any that day, but it was clear that she needed to start slamming Red Bull.

Slowly I could feel the familiar impatient tension starting to build in my toes, as it worked it’s way up through my shoulders and into my head, where a stream of steam started to blow out of my ears.

So I did what I usually do…

…I switched lines.

And as soon as I did this, the line that I had been standing in started to move quicker, however, the line in which I was now standing came to screeching halt because the cashier had a VOID and needed to call a manager to correct it.

I immediately started to roll my eyes, huff and puff, and curse obscenities under my breath.

I waited about 45 seconds and then did what I usually do…

I switched lines again.

And as soon as I did this, the line that I had been standing in completed the void and began to move quicker, however, the line in which I was now standing came to a screeching halt, because the cashier needed to call a manager to get change.

Ok…so by this time my lips were starting to snarl, my teeth were gnashing, and my head started to spin counter-clockwise.

And I thought to myself…

“WHEN?! WHEN? ! WHEN will I ever LEARN?

If I had just stayed in the original line and had not been so impatient, this would have only taking me a few minutes instead of a few CENTURIES!”

And when I finally DID get to the head of the line, the cashier all bubbly and cheery said, “Hi…how are you today?”

And all I could say was….

…“Super delightful.”




Have a super delightful weekend, everyone!

40 comments

  1. What you should have said was:

    TERRIFFIC!!
    SUPER!!
    GREAT BLOG!!

    Grrr. Price checks. If an item of mine doesn't scan, I tell the cashier "never mind. I don't want it. I don't want to hold up the line".
    Or people who WRITE CHECKS. I write only two checks per month-to my AOAO maintenance and the electric bill.
    But they just grab the check-there's no waiting for approval code or anything.

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  2. You know I'm not the most patient person either, cause, we're twins.

    But neither is my daughter.

    When we're stuck in traffic (the WORST thing EVER!) she continuously monitors the speed of all the lanes and gives me reports on which one is going faster and "Mom, go there!! NOW!". Of course, she hasn't seemed to grasp the idea that there actually needs to be a space between the two cars in that line she wants me to join.

    All this? Just makes me even more impatient.

    How much do I hate traffic? Last weekend, I actually drove through most of the city just to avoid the traffic at the bridge I normally take to get back home because they had closed some lanes for construction. I didn't get home faster but at least I wasn't just sitting in my car next to some moron picking his nose.

    And I coud sing and car dance :)

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  3. Oh, also... I have, in the regular stores I frequent, taken the time (cause while I'm waiting, what the hell else am I going to do?!?!?! Knit the dog a cardigan?!?!?!)to analyze the efficiency of the regular cashiers.

    They should hire me as a consultant.

    And don't you think someone that works the cash at a grocery store should learn about produce? Like, what an avocado looks like? Or a mango? ARGH!

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  4. ~laughs~ - I almost wrote a similar post today - at least I am not the only impatient person around. Don't you just want to swallow your tongue when you say how good you are when they ask - when all you want to do is reach over and give them a good cuff to the back of the head?

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  5. Aloha Debi!

    oooh...don't ya LOVE people who wait until they get to the check out counter to fill in their checks and pull out their ID???

    OMG, Debi....that makes me INSANE!!

    I don't write that many checks per month either, but if I occassionally do for say a store purchase, I make sure the entire check is filled in except for the total, BEFORE I get to the check out!

    oooh...and items that don't SCAN???

    That's another thng that tries my PATIENCE!

    Oy chee mamba!

    Thanks for stopping by today, Debi!

    Have an awesome weekend.

    And watch out for those damn check out lines!

    HA!

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  6. Morning Twin/Anndi!

    The more you and I speak...the MORE I see that we TRULY, TRULY, TRULY are twins!!

    OMG...that was so FUNNY, Anndi!

    Holy moly, I'm the SAME way with traffic. This is one of the reasons why I LOVE living in a city and not having to drive. City life has it's people walking traffic annoyances too, but for some reason I get more impatient when I'm in a car.

    oooh...I could JUST IMAGINE you, Chicklet, and I in traffic!!

    We'd be like traffic guards!!

    HAHAHAHAH!

    Thanks a kaboodle for dropping by today, my twin sibling.

    It's always fun to discover even more of our similarities!

    Have an awesome weekend!

    I hope Chicklet is all better and feeling great!

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  7. Hello again, Anndi!

    When I read your second comment, I was sipping my morning coffee...and I need not tell you what happened!?!?!

    *knitting the dog a cardigan!!!

    You're a HOOT!

    Do you know that companies actually hire people to do just what you said!! To review employee's performances!!

    What a freaking fabulous job for a Libra too!!!

    Thanks for your additional comment, Anndi!

    That was BRILLIIANT!

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  8. Helloooo Deranged Princess!

    Oh, YOU SAID IT!!!

    If I actually SAID what it was about how I was feeling to the cashier...

    ...I don't think they would have any ears left!!!

    POP!...off they would fly!

    No, DP...trust me, you are not the only impatient person around. On a scale of 1-10...my patience level is a -1.

    However, I do have patience for animals, elderly people, and infants.

    Thanks for stopping by this morning, DP!

    And I'll think of you the next time a cashier asks me how I feel and laugh!!!

    That was great!

    Enjoy your weekend!

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  9. LOL that's me too Ron!!

    I ALWAYS choose the slowest queue!

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  10. Morning Akelamalu!

    And isn't it FUN?????

    OMG...patience?!?!

    Thanks for dropping by, my slowest line friend!

    Have super delightful weekend!

    *hugs*

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  11. You mean I could get paid for my skillz?!

    And yeah, knitting the dog a cardigan, with patterns, AND pockets and I'm not talking for our smaller dog, the BIG ONE! (BTW, I don't know how to knit... yet... but I swear I could probably learn in the time it takes some people to find the damn barcode!!!)

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  12. Hey-Ho Anndi!

    YES!!! and these companies pay excellent money too!

    I've actually thought about doing it, because of being in retail for so long!

    Hey, I don't knit either, but there was a time when I was into needlepoint. I started 100 of them and NEVER finished one!!

    Oh, and don't even get me started on the BARCODE crap!?@$#"!

    Whatever happened to PRICE TAGS???

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  13. ADD ADD ADD!!!! OMG!!! Wait til you get to France, Ron!!! It's like that not only in the supermarkets... If you could have been with me in the market about two weeks ago... an OLD man blow up in line at the poor cashier who was taking a REALLY long time with an old woman's order.. I think there was a problem with ringing her up.. The man went beserk... It was sad but HILARIOUS... I couldn't even look at the guy.. for risk of busting up!!! He was the guy in front of me.. I just looked at the cute man after me and keep making eyes at him... like.. Ah mon dieu... on n'est pas presse'!
    Oh my God.. We're not in a hurry!!
    I wish I could have told the old man to take a "chill pill" but not only whould he NOT have understood me, but he probably would have went after me!!!!
    Great post... I'm usually the one who changes lanes in traffic on the freeway when it's bumper to bumper- hoping to get in the faster moving lane.. The one I change to ALWAYS seems to slow down to a snail's pace while ALL the other lanes speed up.. Why is it ALWAYS like that on the freeway??!!!
    Have a great weekend, Ron!!!

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  14. you're just telling my story .. this happens with me all the time .. lol

    never thought about it like .. "don't ever do it again" I just do it .. like naturally .. lol

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  15. My luck is the same as your's. I never get on the good line. Recently I nearly killed someone in Publix because she was arguing with the cashier about the type of Honey Bunches of Oats she was allowed to buy with her welfare check. Luckily, I forgot my knife was in my purse. GRRRRRR!

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  16. Ron~
    oh dear
    your one of those...
    I have a mother like you.
    She gets out her OCD
    and starts jumping lines like a character in a
    80's video game.
    I love people like you, Usually I start cracking jokes and making fun,
    trying to come up with something to level off the tempers.
    it's a bizarre habit i have, probably from childhood trauma of my mother losing it every time she picked the slow lane.
    LOL

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  17. Bonjour Leesa!

    Hey, did that man have on a green baseball cap?

    Because he was probably ME!!!!!

    HAHAHAHAHAA!

    No...I'm not that insane.

    (but pretty close)

    I know Europe, in general...people move much slower. They're not always in a rush. Which is something "I" need to learn!

    But what's really funny, is when I lived in Japan...everything about me SLOWED down. The calm energy of the place (Kobe) made me more relaxed with things. But the minute I got back to the States...I slowly reverted back to RUSHING.

    Like you, when I use to drive a car...I was a big "lane switcher." And like you, I always ended up getting in the SLOWER lane!!!

    Oh...when will I learn???

    Thanks for sharing such a hysterical story, Leesa!!!!

    That was GREAT!

    I will definately be thinking of it the next time I'm in line and have to WAIT!!!!

    OY VEY!!!

    Hope you're feeling better, my friend and had a wonderful day!

    Enjoy your weekend!

    Thanks for stopping by!
    X

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  18. Greetings Errant!

    Welcome!

    Thanks for dropping by and taking the time to leave a comment!

    Vey nice meeting you!

    Well, I'm glad to hear that I'm not the ONLY one who goes through this!!

    Yea, your right...I don't know WHY I bother telling myself not to do it again...because I ALWAYS do!!!

    HAHAHAHA!

    Thanks again for dropping by!

    Please feel free to stop by anytime!

    Enjoy your weekend!

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  19. Evening Lady Nitebyrd!!!

    Holy Shit....you ALWAYS make me bust out laughing!!!

    See!!!...this is another one of are sibling similarities!

    Getting in the SLOWEST line!!

    And what is it about GROCERY STORE lines that are the WORST!?!?! This is why I try desperately to shop on "off-peak" hours. In between when everyone else is at work!! Weekends are a nightmare!!

    Anyway, sis...it's always such a pleasure sharing with ya!

    Have weekend and watch out for those SLOW lines!!!

    X

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  20. Hiya Sorrow!

    Oh my...you mean there are OTHERS like me???

    Can you imagine your mother and I in a line together????

    You'd be having to sing, dance, and tell jokes until the police got there!!!

    HAHAHAHA!

    Oh, well...perhaps one day I'll learn to chill.

    NOT!

    It's SOOOOOO great seeing ya again, Sorrow!

    I've missed ya!

    Have a great weekend, dear lady!
    X

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  21. hi ron, you nut case...takes one to know one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lololol

    I'm a taurus which means I WAIT FOR NO ONE! or SUFFER NO FOOLS! or any number of other insufferably rude things I have done over my 50+years on the planet, standing in lines or on the freeway...I had a BMW convertible, very cool car, and had a blast changing freeway lanes crossing the bridge to SF, people blasting horns at me and giving me filthy looks... ;) I was fine with that, even if I just made it a car length ahead, I was happy but it sure didn't make me popular.....I'm wondering now why you don't drive (giggle) ...love you, dear ronnie, have a great weekend and thanks for your ever faithful comments on my blog, dearie.

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  22. oh I forgot one.....when I am with my hubbie or daughter, then we have to stand in TWO lines and whoever gets there first,the other moves to that one and then *I* win!! hahahahaaha.....incredibly satisfying to beat another poor customer to the almighty checker!

    XO

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  23. Hiya Linda!

    OMG...you're SO FUNNY!

    You sound just like ME when I drove! Dear god...I was like Mario Andredi!!!

    ZOOOOM! ZOOOOM!

    I was forever dashing from lane to lane with crash helmet securely fastened!

    HAHAHHA!

    I'm a Libra...and Libra's are notorious for lack of patience, however, like I shared with Deranged Princess...I do have patience for certain things, but not everything!

    Now that I live in a city, I no longer have a car. I still keep a drivers license, but don't drive unless I rent a car. I'm one of those people who really likes NOT having a car too. The day I sold my last vehicle and moved to Philly...I was like YAHOOO!

    Thanks for dropping by this evening, Linda!

    And thanks for your car share!!!

    Have a glorious weekend, dear lady!

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  24. Hello again Linda!

    Oh...that's freaking HYSTERICAL and BRILLIANT!!!

    I need to shop with YOU!

    XO

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  25. Ron! OMG! THAT was YOU?!! hehehe... No, it was a green "beret."!! hehehehe... I don't think someone that angry could EVER be you, though!!!

    When you come over to France, I'll bring you over to the supermarket and we can wait in line and TALK REALLLLLLLLY LOUD in English... so that the cashier will go faster just so she can get rid of us quicker-- BLOODY obnoxious Americans!!! hehehehe
    Have a nice weekend and stay COOL.... easy does it...
    RELAX... I'm thinking of the song that the Jets sang in West Side Story... I can just see you dancing around and snapping your fingers...
    Hugs,
    Leese

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  26. Keep it cooly cool boy... That's the song I was singing... COOL... just play it cool, boy... real cool...
    (snapping fingers!)

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  27. *laughing laughing LAUGHING*

    Oh, not because it's an issue for ME--but it surely is for himself.

    I absolutely LOVE watching him in a stopped line.
    Makes me giggle.
    And laugh.
    And pull things from the surrounding areas to entertain him with.
    Dancing boxes of Altoids seem to do the trick. *laughing*

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  28. Bonjour Leesa!

    Oh, that would be fun!

    And not only could we speak REALLLLLY loud, but we could also bring some American coupons and see if they'll take them!!!'

    tee, hee!

    Hey...and I KNOW the song your talking about from West Side Story!!! When I was a kid, I use to love to lipsync to that LP. And when I lived in Orlando, I actually got to BE IN the show!!! I played Glad Hand (a very small part), but it was a BLAST!!!

    Now you've got me singing that song and snapping my fingers!!

    Cool! snap Cool! snap...

    HAHAHAHA!

    Thanks for dropping by, Leesa!

    Have a spectacular Saturday!!!!
    X

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  29. OMG, Leesa!

    Now I'm going to be singing that song and snapping ALL DAY at work!!!!

    *in between the Christmas music!!!

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  30. Morn'in Dear Mel!

    Holy Moly!....I'm finding out that there's quite a FEW people like me!!!

    And do you know what's FUNNY?

    I happen to LOVE Altoids (only the peppermint ones), so maybe I should try that on myself the next time I start freaking out in a line!!!

    Perhaps I could even insert one in each of my EARS, to prevent the steam from blowing out!?!!??!

    Tee, hee!

    GREAT idea, Mel...thanks for mentioning it!!!

    Hope your having a warm and cozy weekend at home...and watching it snow!!

    It's actually VERY cold here this weekend, but still no snow!

    DRATS!
    X

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  31. Eh, eh, eh..I can SO relate to this.
    I've left a line with my buggy to have someone beat me to the line I was moving to. Of course they have groceries in there for a month. Then I can't go back to the other line (which by now has moved quickly) because two other buggies have pulled up!

    I am trying very, very hard to be a zen shopper now...it helps to read while in line. :)

    I caught up on your posts, and I thank you for the vents and the laughs..excellent as always, Ron dear!

    LY!

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  32. No, no no no, that's my claim to fame...ciao

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  33. Very funny post. I actually love watching the reaction of people in those lines UNLESS I'm in a hurry. :) Then I can eye roll with the best of them.
    The best thing the grocery store I shop in ever did was put in the self check out lines. I love those.

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  34. Good Evening Dearest Gypsy-Heart!

    OMG...that's funny, because it reminded me of when I use to drive on the Florida turpike and move my car from toll booth line to toll booth line....back and forth, like a mental patient!!!

    I wasted SO MUCH time moving lines...that it took me FOREVER to pay the toll!

    HAHAHAHAHHA!

    God...I'm SO not patient!!!!

    Hey, and that's a wonderful idea you gave me about READING while in line! And I always have a book with me, so that should be easy!

    Thanks SOOOOOO MUCH for stopping by and reading my posts, dear friend!!

    It's always such a pleasure to speak with you!

    Hope you had an awesome weekend on the island!

    Love ya!

    P.S. it SNOWED a little here, this weekend....yepeee!
    X

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  35. Greetings Rositta!

    Welcome!

    Thanks so much for dropping by and taking the time to leave a comment.

    So nice meeting you!

    Hey...I LOVE your name. It's so beautiful!

    You're comment made me laugh, because it must be MY claim to fame too!

    They know me in the drug store as....Mr. Line Switcher!

    HA!

    Please stop by any time, Rositta.

    You're always welcome!

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  36. Hi Amy!

    Welcome!

    Thanks for stopping by and sharing a comment!

    OMG...you would have REALLY enjoyed seeing MY reaction on this particular day!!! I looked like a Looney Tunes Cartoon!

    Hey, you said the magic words...

    ...self check outs!!!

    I LOVE THOSE THINGS!!!

    One of the drug stores (CVS) that I shop at has those, however the one in which I experienced this post, did not.

    Gosh darn it!

    Thanks again for stopping by, Amy!

    It was so nice meeting you!

    Drop by anytime!

    Have a nice evening!

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  37. I know...

    ...HOOT...HOOT!

    Thanks for stopping by my late night friend!

    X

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  38. Helloooooo!!!!!
    OH how I've missed you!
    We are definitely still twins. I usually pick the wrong line too! At the bank drive in, if no one is behind me, I'll hang back and evaluate which of the 3 lines is moving fast enough. Then, sure enough, some one will pull in and I"ll be forced to decide. It's usually wrong. I'll pick the line where the person ahead of me has their transmission fall out, or another one tries to lean out to get blank deposit slips from the holder and spills everything... etc.

    Well, friend, my computer is a mess so I borrowed my daughters for a couple quickie emails and blog reads. More later.....

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  39. Helloooooo Crystal-Chick!!!

    OMG!!!! I'm so excited to see ya!!!

    YAHOO!

    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STOPPING BY TO SAY HI!

    And your comment made me HOWL, because it reminded me of how I TOO would do the same DAMN thing when I was in the drive-thru at the bank!

    OMG...HOW FUNNY!

    Yes, my friend...we truly ARE TWINS!!

    Thanks again for taking the time to stop by. That was so sweet of you!

    We'll talk later!

    Good luck with your computer, M!
    X

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