La Bella Luna



I would like to start off by letting you know that this post is in no way a sponsored review, but rather to simply share about a product which I love more than my own life.

However, even though I specifically state in bold type on my writer page that I DO NOT offer to compose sponsored reviews on ANY of my blogs, I still get several emails a month asking me to write them.

Do think maybe some people can’t READ?

OR....do you think perhaps they believe that if they throw me a whopping offer of $3.00 per review post, I’ll be tempted to JUMP at the chance to PROSTITUTE my blogs by PIMPING their links?

I. Don’t. Think. So.

(and I hope they're READING this)

Anyway….getting back to my original story.

It was probably about nine years I ago when I discovered a nutrition bar called Luna.

But I really can’t be totally certain how nutritional they are because to me they taste like a candy bar wrapped in a healthy 70% organic costume.

However, I don’t eat them for the nutrition, I eat them for the taste. They're heavenly!

Now the strange thing about my initial discovery of Luna was that I didn’t read all of the information contained on the wrapper, because when I saw the magical flavor - Chocolate Peppermint Stick - I didn’t care if I was about to eat a rectangular bar of compacted cat shit, as long as it tasted like chocolate and peppermint.

It must have weeks later, when I finally glanced at the wrapper and first saw the words The Whole Nutrition Bar for Women. And after I began to read some of the higher percentages of certain ingredients (calcium and iron) I realized why, but I thought to myself, “Oh, who the hell cares…it’s not going to harm me any just because I’m a man, right?”

Yet it’s funny how when I purchase a bar the paranoia insecurity in me will ALWAYS explain to the cashier that I DO realize these bars are intended for women, but I don’t care because they’re delicious.

And besides….I think it’s important to feed my female-side.

But just recently I thought of something….

…wouldn’t be funny if over the past nine years, I’m slowly performing a sex-change operation on myself without even knowing it.

And that perhaps one day I can buy a blue, two-piece string bikini, and hang out by the pool while a life guard rubs Hawaiian Tropic all over on my gorgeous body…..





"La bella luna's!"



P.S... But I think I'm going need my upper lip waxed.

30 comments

  1. OMG Ron!! That was HILARIOUS!!! Esp, the cute pic of you in the blue bikini! Makes me kinda jealous now, I'm going to have to start eating these luna bars, now, too!!! Also, you may indeed consider shaving the upper lip... only when you decide to where the bikini, though!!

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  2. ron, the lip fur, the lip fur....oh my goodness, how could you not somehow, with all your techie geek tricks, like bette or someone up there on the right instead of the cute little blue eyed ronnie, you couldn't disguise the fur?

    otherwise, you look good, girl...but those boobs are most definitely balloons and I don't think you can even hope to go to the bottom for pennies or shells.

    love the luna bars too and yes, I think they are much like candy bars with a higher price and fancy wrapper but who cares, they taste good and if they are remotely healthy, that can't hurt, right?? snickers are better tho.. :)

    and guess who's on first? MEEEEEEEEE!
    XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

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  3. With Luna bars, I think you run more of a risk of looking like a West Coast granola kid!

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  4. Oh well--silly rabbit doesn't know that Trix are for kids and HE'S doing just fine!

    I do think the poor thing should be allowed to eat 'em.
    Just sayin'......

    And if gluten free is on the nutrition bar AND it comes in some other flavor besides chocolate. *laughing*

    Yeah, yeah--I know "If it doesn't come in chocolate, what's the point?!"

    Fine. *sigh*

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  5. LOL Have you noticed any change in breast tissue????

    You really suit that bikini Ron. :)

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  6. OMG, what a scream that photo is.

    I now absolutely must try that Luna bar. I love chocolate!
    And right now I'm here sipping on some peppermint tea. Oh I'll be heading to Starbucks soon to get something chocolatey!! I think around the holidays they have peppermint cocoa. Don't those two things just go fabulous together.

    So where do you get them?? Oh I might have missed it if you said it in the blog somewhere, I'll have to check back.

    We need to feed both our masculine and feminine sides so next time you're chowing down on a Five Guys you can think... grunt grunt... I'm eating a MANLY burger!! But enjoy the choco peppermint treat just as much when you can too.

    Have a great week neighbor. Can you just feel that Fall is in the air??!!!

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  7. Bonjour Leesa!

    tee, hee!

    Don't I look HOT?

    Hey listen...don't even bother eating Luna bars. All you have to do is go over to Face in hole and create one of these images for yourself and VIOLA....you'll look just like ME!

    (only BETTER!)

    Yeah, I have an appointment for a lip wax this afternoon!

    HA!

    Thanks for stopping by, Leesa!

    Happy Monday to ya!

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  8. Helloooo Linda!

    ...those boobs are most definitely balloons and I don't think you can even hope to go to the bottom for pennies or shells...

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    That was HYSTERICAL!!!

    I found that image of Bette on the Internet a few days ago and fell in love with it!! I've decided that every couple of months I'm going to change the picture to a different movie star.

    Aren't Luna bars the BOMB? Yeah, I agree...they're probably much like candy bars but who cares...they taste faaabulous!

    oooo...I love Snickers too. Also, Dove bars (dark chocolate).

    Thanks for dropping by, dear lady!

    Have a GREAT Monday!

    XOXOXOXOXOX

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  9. Hi Kate!

    Welcome!

    Thank you for stopping by - it's nice meeting you!

    You said it!

    I really DO look like a West Coast granola kid!

    HA!

    Please drop by anytime. You're always welcomed here!

    Enjoy your day!

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  10. Hiya Mel!

    Thanks, dear lady...don't I look GREAT?

    VA-VOOM!

    I don't know if Luna bars are gluten free (I will read the lable the next time I have one), but I do know they have SOY in them.

    And yes, they come in all sorts of delicious flavors. The other one I love is Lemon - it's so YUMMY and REFRESHING!

    Always great seeing ya, Mel!

    Hope all is going well with himself and mom.

    Happy Monday to ya!
    X

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  11. Good Morning Akelamalu!

    Thank you, m'dear!

    I've always LOVED the color blue on me - it brings out my eyes!

    HA!

    No...haven't notice any breast tissue, but penis is getting smaller.

    Bwhahahahahahaaha!

    Have a GREAT Monday, my friend!

    Thanks for stopping by!

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  12. Howdy Crystal Chick!

    It's funny, because I made a few of these photos over at Face in Hole, but this one came out the realistic.

    *well...as realistic as I could look with a moustach.

    HA!

    You MUST try these bars, they're wonderful! You can get them at Trader Joes, Whole Foods, and I've even seen them at vitamin stores.

    oooo...have you ever tried the chocolate peppermint bark at Starbucks during the holidays? It's to DIE for!!

    You said it, my friend. We must feed both the male/female within us and Five Guys and Luna are the perfect balance.

    HA!

    OMG....is this weather not gorgeous?? I'm SOOOOOO happy! I can definitely feel Fall creeping in...YAAAAAAY!

    Always so great seeing ya, neighbor!

    Thanks for dropping by. And enjoy your week!

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  13. I'll wax it for ya!

    Now, Ron, I doubt you'll grow boobs and a va-jay-jay from the Luna bar. I've been drinking Guinness for years and haven't grown a penis! (I was told in the Bahamas that only MEN drink Guinness.)

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  14. I have not seen the peppermint stick flavor before. I went through a Luna binge for a few months, stockpiling them as if the end of days was upon us. I still eat them on occasion but my overzealousness got the best of me and my Luna penchant. Moderation in everything, even nutrition bars.

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  15. Howdy Nitebyrd!

    bwhahahahaahaha!!!

    OMG...you are so freakin' funny!

    Not being someone who drinks beer, I had NO idea about Guinness being a MAN'S beer!?

    Oh, well...you just proved it to me then....I will not grow BOOBS via a Luna bar - DAMN IT!

    HA!

    Ok, but if I do...you MUST do my WAX for me ok? Maybe even a brazilian while your at it - a little Yul Brenner!

    Thanks for stopping by, Sis!

    Love ya!
    X

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  16. Hi Jen!

    Woo! Woo!

    You're my FIRST reader to share that you've tried Luna!!

    Aren't they tasty???

    I agree...when I fist discovered Luna I was eating them every single day. And because they have SOY in them, it was making me a TAD gassy!

    TOOT! TOOT!

    If you ever should induldge in them again, please try the Choc/Pep Stick, they're orgasmic! They also have a Key Lime Pie!

    Always great seeing ya, Jen!

    Hope you had a great weekend and we able to get all your perishables prepared!

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  17. Hubba Hubba! I love Luna bars but my favorite is the Nutz over Chocolate. They stopped selling them when that whole stupid peanut butter scare happened but they're baaaackkk.

    Clif bars are yummy, too!

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  18. Hi Chrissy!

    Hubba! Hubba!

    Aren't they DIVINE???

    Ok, the next time I'm in Trader Joes I will check out Nutz Over Chocolate because it sound like something I would enjoy!

    YAWSA! I've tried Clif Bars and I agree...YUMMY!

    Thanks for stopping, sibling!

    Hope you had a great day!

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  19. I LOVE the fact that you do not smut up your blog with reviews of products for pay or no pay, and when you do give a shout out for something....it is your true blue belief, feeling or experience. Thank you!

    Now for your transformation due to the eating of womens power bars and the use of Secret deodorant, you are one HOT woman! Maybe I should try using both and then I could be HOT like you.

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  20. Don't wax the upper lip. It looks fantastic as it is. I mean seriously...whose going to see it anyway with those ta-ta's!

    So just to check, if I start buying Luna bars my body will look like that? I'm driving out to Trader Joe's stat.

    :-)

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  21. Hiya Funny Girl!

    OMG...you're HILARIOUS!!!

    I TOTALLY forgot that perhaps my use of Secret deodorant PLUS the eating of Luna bars may just be the reason for my HOT body!!!

    hahahahahaha

    Maybe I just discovered the secret to being a REAL woman!

    bwhahahahahaha!

    ALWAYS great seeing ya, FG!

    Thanks for the laugh!

    Enjoy your day!

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  22. Hey Nancy!

    That's kinda what I'm starting to think too...

    ....with these lovely ta-ta's who's gonna be looking at that MANLY lip of mine?

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    *maybe if I just bleach it?


    oooo yes, Traders Joes STAT! May sure you buy of box of them because they're addictive!

    Great seeing ya, Nancy!

    P.S. hey, it's actually COOL here today - almost time for that BLACK turtleneck!

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  23. Hi Ronnie,

    Well baby, you never looked so hot !
    Haaaaaaa !! That's a riot:)
    But, maybe you should of got Deb to uncode some of those ingredients on that Luna bar ...just in case you start sprouting boobs !
    I have never tried Luna, but it sounds great. Sort of like diet Peppermint patties .

    This is my first comment since last week. I got a lot of great pics that I downloaded this morning.

    Have have a great day, Bella and hugs to you (((((R))))))))

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  24. Bonjour Barbara!

    OMG!!!!!!!

    It's soooo VUNDERBAR to see ya, my friend!!

    YAHOOOO!

    Great to see ya back in blogland - hope you had a great break!

    Yeah, as you can tell from my photo...A LOT has "changed" for me since we last spoke. I grew BOOBS!

    hahahahahaha!

    Thanks for stopping by, Barb!

    I'll drop by your place later this evening to check out you photos!

    Have a great day!

    {{{{{ Barb }}}}}
    X

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  25. Okay, so I see the title of your post come up on my sidebar: La Bella Luna" and I translate (with just a touch of superiority in my voice) to "The beautiful moon".
    "Ah," I think. "Ron's doing a post on his beautiful moon, wherever the hell he is."
    Instead, it's a non-pimping post on a women's nutrition bar that tastes somewhat like a York Peppermint Patty?
    I did not see that coming. Huh.
    Now. What're ya gonna do if someone Googles Luna and gets that photo of YOU under images as a hit?
    Hmmmm? I'm betting you'll rethink the whole upper-lip-wax thing then.
    Great post, though.

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  26. Hi Kathryn!

    You are tooo funny!

    Hey...I never even thought about a google Luna search!??!

    HOLY SHIT...I better get that picture off this post before my MOTHER see's it!

    Bwhahahahahaha!

    Thanks for stopping by K!

    Always enjoyed!

    "La bella luna!"

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  27. Okay..this is one of your best!! Thanks for a great morning laugh!

    I like Luna bars..I can't remember if this one is loaded with sugar or not...but sometimes you have to be bad. You know..good / bad. :)

    With a body like that..no one will not notice your mustache!!

    LY, my dear blogging friend,

    ~g-h

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  28. Hello Dearest Gypsy-Heart!

    tee, hee!

    Don't I look HOT and SEXY???

    And I owe it ALL to Luna!

    Yes, I think they are loaded with sugar, but it's just as you shared...sometimes you just gotta be bad.

    Thanks for stopping by, dear heart!

    LY too!!!

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  29. Ugh, the sponsorship offers. Like I want a damned case of crap that I would never buy in the first place!

    Luna bars are incredibly delish. Even if they do make your boobs big, it's totally worth it.

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  30. Hi Lora!

    YEAH...my sentiments exactly about the sponsorship reviews! Whenever I see them on someones blog, I just bi-pass them.

    Aren't Luna bars the BOMB???

    Yeah, big boobs are not such a negative thing anyway!

    tee, hee!

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