March of a Penguin



Now I know how the emperor penguin feels as it takes it’s yearly march.

You see, I’m one of those people who refuses to miss work.

Perhaps it’s the memory of my father knocking on my bedroom door every morning, “Ronnie, it’s time to get up…you don’t want to be late for work, buddy.”

I was instilled at a very young age, “You must always take your job with serious responsibility. Don’t ever be late. And don’t EVER call in sick unless you’re dying.”

So, unless I’m flatlining in a hospital bed, I go to work.

Such as I did on Saturday afternoon during that horrendous, state of emergency snow storm we had here in Philadelphia.

After putting on my Eskimo attire, which should have included a sled and twelve Alaskan huskies, I marched my little hairy penguin-butt, four blocks to my place of employment.


Only FOUR blocks you say? That’s not so bad.

You‘re right, it’s not bad at all on a normal day. But when you add Antarctic wind gusts that were blowing me across the sidewalk like a piece of toilet paper, and snowfall that was so heavy I couldn’t even see two inches in front of my face, it was BAD. My umbrella lasted about two seconds before it was ripped inside out and totally destroyed.

It looked as though I was standing there holding onto a single toothpick.

And watching me climb over the massive snow drifts that had been created by our city snow plows, was truly a sight to behold. It must have appeared funny as my 5’7” frame suddenly sank; disappearing into a 6 foot snow dune.

Every inch of my body was covered in snow.

Now, here’s the really idiotic part of this story.

I was out of cigarettes and was terribly worried I wouldn’t be able to find a convenient store open when I got out of work, so I walked to THREE different stores before I found my precious Marlboro Light 100’s in a box.

*God forbid I not have a cigarette with my evening glass of wine.

But hey, I pursued like a strong emperor penguin would, and marched until I got to work.

And believe it or not I got there on time.

Looking like a Popsicle…...




But at least I wasn't flatlining.

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