As most of you have already surmised from reading my posts throughout the years, I tend to be an impatience person.
Um….let me add the word VERY.
And no matter how much I do things, such as, meditate, chant, or practice yoga to become more a balanced and harmonious human being, I still end up being impatient.
Now mind you, these things DO allow me to feel more balanced and harmonious, it’s just that I feel more balanced and harmoniously impatient.
The only time I’m not impatient is when it comes to my interactions with children, animals, and the elderly.
Other than that….I’m pretty impatience.
Such as I was on Saturday night, while trying to open a bag of caramel popcorn.
Okay, is it just me, or do you find certain plastic bags a royal BITCH to open?
I mean I know it’s only plastic, but whenever I attempt to open the tops, it feels as though I’m trying to pry open the jaws of an alligator that have been sealed shut with cement glue, so that the only way I can open them is by using a jackhammer and then a hand grenade.
Anyway….
After wrestling with a bag of caramel popcorn for what seemed to be THREE hours, I finally got so mad I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a steak knife out of the utensil drawer, and began STABBING it like Norman Bates stabbed Janet Leigh in the shower scene in the movie Psycho.
Shhreek!…Shhreeek!…Shhreeeek!…Shhreeeeek!
There was caramel popcorn flying all over the kitchen, but I didn’t care because I was bound and determined to GET THAT FUCKIN’ BAG OPEN!
And I did.
However, I had to eat the popcorn by chewing it off the walls and floor.
But hey, I got it open……
*click on audio to hear sound effects.
There was caramel popcorn flying all over the kitchen, but I didn’t care because I was bound and determined to GET THAT FUCKIN’ BAG OPEN!
ReplyDeleteAnd I did.
However, I had to eat the popcorn by chewing it off the walls and floor.
But hey, I got it open……
I'M ROLLING ON THE FLOOR. You are right. We sound SO much alike! I Love Caramel popcorn and would be doing the same thing! Hope you have a better week this week.
Some packets are just so annoying to open aren't they? In frustration I grab a knife too. I keep promising myself I will just get the scissors and cut the top off before I even try to open packets any other way but I always forget! :(
ReplyDeleteI took scissors to a bag of pre-cooked bacon. I'm sorry, but that little tab in the corner that you're supposed to pull apart DOES NOT WORK WHEN YOUR HANDS ARE GREASY FROM OPENING THE LAST BOX. Psycho? You bet. When they're bacon to be had.... 'nuff said.
ReplyDeleteThanks, now I'm going to have that song in my head all day!
ReplyDeleteOh, You crack me up, Norman...at least you didn't do this in the shower! I hate those dang bags! I especially hate the ones that say "pull apart here" and you can't get your fingernail in there to pry the two sheets of plastic apart. I had it out with a package of bacon the other morning and went after it with a knife...ever cooked shredded bacon?Thanks for the psycho caramel corn visual and the great chuckle this morning!
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteI wish I'd taken a video of me trying to open the damn box that my iPod; it was just THAT ridiculously impossible. But it was OK, because dozens of other people had actually put videos on YouTube of how to unbox the freaking iPod.
Maybe you should check YouTube the next time you have a particularly stubborn bag to open.
Gooooooood Morn'in Peg!
ReplyDeleteSEE!....didn't I tell you we were SO MUCH alike?
Patient and harmonious.
Bwhahahahahahahhahaha!
Don't ya just LOVE caramel popcorn? I ended up eating the WHOLE bag that night.
Of course, that's only because I didn't have a bag left - HA!
Thanks for dropping by, my dear friend!
ALWAYS a HOOT seeing ya! Have a SUPER Monday...X
Good Morning Akelamalu!
ReplyDelete"I keep promising myself I will just get the scissors and cut the top off before I even try to open packets any other way but I always forget!"
OMG...I can't believe you said that because afterward I thought to myself, "Why the hell didn't I just use a scissors?!?!?!?"
I guess that would have been too easy and not as DRAMATIC.
HAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHA!
Thank you for stopping by, m'dear!
Have a wonderful Monday.....X
Morn'in Chrissy!
ReplyDelete"Thanks, now I'm going to have that song in my head all day!"
But, please try not to think of it tonight while you're taking a SHOWER, ok?
Bwhahahahahhaahhahahaha!
GREAT seeing ya, girl! Thanks so much for stopping by!
Happy Monday!
X,
Norman Bates
Good Morning Suziecate!
ReplyDelete"I especially hate the ones that say "pull apart here" and you can't get your fingernail in there to pry the two sheets of plastic apart."
YES! YES! In fact, that was exactly the type of bag this caramel popcorn was in; the bags that have the ZIP-SEAL after you open it to keep the popcorn fresh.
That is, if you CAN open it!?!?
"I had it out with a package of bacon the other morning and went after it with a knife...ever cooked shredded bacon?"
Bwhahahhaahhahahahahaha! OMG, that is hysterical!!!!
Thank you for stopping by, SC! ALWAYS a DELIGHT!
Happy Monday......X
Hiya Kathy!
ReplyDeleteOMG...PLEASE read Suziecate's comment because you're going to DIE laughing.
She had the same thing happen to her!!!!!
I LOVE bacon, however I don't cook it at home. Probably just as well, hu?
HA!
Thanks so much for dropping by, neighbor! Always FUN seeing ya!
Enjoy your Monday.....X
Helloooooooooo JD!
ReplyDelete"I wish I'd taken a video of me trying to open the damn box that my iPod; it was just THAT ridiculously impossible."
HHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA....I know what you mean because I had the SAME ridiculous impossibility trying to open my new laptop!!! And it's ironic that you mentioned You Tube because I found a several videos that DID show me how to open it.
Afterwards.
Bwhahahahahahahahaha!
ALWAYS great seeing ya, girl! Thanks a bunch for stopping by!
Have a grrrrrrrrreat Monday.....X
Norman Bates
I know whatcha mean... Do you know what, talking about pop corn that is. Here in France pop corn is, par default, sweet! Like what!?!?
ReplyDeleteI teach English and was going through a somewhat sweat-procuring beginner lesson (I do love my job, but one can be honest) asking "what tastes sweet?" when this somewhat learning-challenged man kept repeating "pop coRRRn, pop coRRRn... I kept saying no, thaaaat iiis saaalty. After some confusing minutes, I learned that pop corn can be sweet. Mostly so. Here. But I like when it is mentioned "caramel". And saltiness is sweet too. Often times;)
Good Afternoon Susu!
ReplyDeleteOMG, that was soooooo interesting to read about popcorn being sweet in France! One of my longtime blogging friends Leesa is an American; living in France, who posts the most DELICIOUS photos of all the magnificent sweets in France. I think if I were to visit, I'd go into sugar shock because I LOVE sweets!!!
We have gourmet popcorn here in the U.S. that is sometimes drizzled in dark chocolate and caramel. OMG...it's HEAVENLY!!!!
Thank you for stopping by today, Susu!
Always such a pleasure seeing you've commented!
Hope you're enjoying a wonderful day....X
I am rollinggggg, Ron! And it's ALWAYS while one is relaxed, isn't it? E.g., one can watch Wayne Dyer and grab a bag of healthy, assorted colored vegetable chips, and go off the deep end when the bag refuses to open! Wayne Dyer does try to help me relax after I've grabbed the scissors! Ommmmmmm! ;)
ReplyDeleteBuona giornata, Ron, and hope you're recentered!
:))
Good afternoon Petra!
ReplyDelete"one can watch Wayne Dyer and grab a bag of healthy, assorted colored vegetable chips, and go off the deep end when the bag refuses to open!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! You are SO right, dear lady!! One minute I'm perfectly relaxed and centered; the next minute I'm like Joan Crawford on a nighttime wire hanger binge!
Bwhahahahahahahahaha!
Oh, don't you just LOVE Wayne Dyer? There was a time when I was reading every book he ever published. He has such a wonderful way of blending spirituality with humanness.
Thank you so much for dropping by today, dear friend!
You're a sweetheart!
Have a great Monday....X
I can't help but wonder if your fit of rage wasn't really over the popcorn at all, but instead some sort of latent issues that are finally making they're way to the surface. I'm just sayin'...;)
ReplyDeleteI've been told I'm 'one of the most patient persons on the planet'.
ReplyDeleteLOLOL Boy have *I* got 'em fooled!
I'm horridly impatient with 'things'. Learned to be patient with people...but THINGS--notsomuch.
"open here for an easy resealable package".....Yeah. Riiiggghhhtttt.
YO!!.....get out the ziplock bags...Mel's about to open the 'easy resealable package'!!!
We've 'had words', those 'easy open' packages and me.
Now himself--easy peasy with THINGS, rotten patience with people.
I hand over the 'easy resealables' to him, he sneaks out and leaves me with the lady who's wringing her hands not knowing if she wants to use debit or a check at the checkout line. :-/
I've only got one word for you my Libra Twin.
ReplyDeleteScissors.
it's those freakin' bags that are heavy plastic with double stitched seams!!
ReplyDeleteI once had trouble even using scissors
I would hope that would make me cut down on snacking but the aggravation just makes me eat more
guess it's not just me, hahaha....i really hate it when i pull so hard, twist so drastically, rip so emphatically that i send the contents all over the f%%**&g room and can't eat it afterall....man, that really pisses me off....now, it's scissors wherever i am going to eat, which is probably every room but bathroom but bathtub i do eat in so must remember. OPEN BEFORE ENTERING TUB or risk screaming like banshee naked running for the scissors AGAIN to open that damned bag of something i don't need to be eating!
ReplyDeleteah,thanks i needed that, dear friend..xoxoxo
Good Evening MJ!
ReplyDeleteIt's so great to see ya!
"I can't help but wonder if your fit of rage wasn't really over the popcorn at all, but instead some sort of latent issues that are finally making they're way to the surface. I'm just sayin'"
Hey, you could be right. Last week I was PMS'ing BIG time - HA!
Thanks for stopping by, MJ! Hope you had an awesome day...X
Hiya Mel!
ReplyDelete"I hand over the 'easy resealables' to him, he sneaks out and leaves me with the lady who's wringing her hands not knowing if she wants to use debit or a check at the checkout line.'
Bwhahahahahhahaha....OMG, that made me HOWL because I could just picture myself there; tapping my foot and huffing!
And it's funny, Mel, because I too have been told I'm patient, yet whenever I hear someone say that I think, "You're kidding me, right?"
Boy have *I* got 'em fooled!
Must be a Libra trait - HA!
Thanks for stopping by, dear lady! Hope you had a super-duper day....X
Hello Meleah, my Libra twin!
ReplyDeleteI know you KNOW what I mean - HA!
Ok, next time....scissors.
Either that or my teeth - HA!
Thanks for stopping by, girl! Hope you had a great day.....X
P.S. wasn't the weather flawless today???
Howdy Dianne!
ReplyDelete"it's those freakin' bags that are heavy plastic with double stitched seams!!"
YES! YES! The popcorn bag was that heavy-duty plastic that almost felt like a piece of tarp!
I thought I was going to go INSANE!
And I did - HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
"I would hope that would make me cut down on snacking but the aggravation just makes me eat more"
Me too! Me too!
Always great seeing ya, dear lady! Thanks for stopping by.
Hope you had a MARVI day....X
P.S. it's "our" kind of weather, hu?
Hellooooooooooo Dear Linda!
ReplyDelete"i really hate it when i pull so hard, twist so drastically, rip so emphatically that i send the contents all over the f%%**&g room"
Yup! That has happened to me MANY, MANY times!
And you would think I would just grab a pair of scissors and open it that way, but noooooooooooooo...I'd rather use a steak knife!
Bwhahahahahahahahahaha!
"OPEN BEFORE ENTERING TUB or risk screaming like banshee naked running for the scissors AGAIN."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....!
Thanks so much for stopping by this evening, Linda! Hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day!
{{{{{ Linda }}}}}}
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Shredded Bacon and Caramel Popcorn on the ceiling I can realte to both.
ReplyDeleteNow for the other extreme how about rewrapping the Graham Crackers in the wax wrappers without destroying anything, OK I know it can be done but I just don't like my crackers crumbled and have seen a whole pack die an untimely death due to me trying to put them away Ha Ha
Hi Ron!!! Do you ever watch the show Curb Your Enthusiasm? Last season Larry David did a whole thing on how he tried to open a new something (I forget what it was) and he does the same thing you describe. He stomps on it, stabs it kicks it etc...it was hilarious. What you describe reminds me of that. At least you got to enjoy all your machinations...I just hope you didn't pull out any crowns or crack any teeth. That would have really sucked. Sometimes it is just great to "VENT" those feelings against inanimate things like popcorn...imagine doing that to a person who pissed you off!!!
ReplyDeleteHowdy Jimmy!
ReplyDelete"OK I know it can be done but I just don't like my crackers crumbled and have seen a whole pack die an untimely death due to me trying to put them away Ha Ha"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA....Holy cow, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!!!! Those graham crackers are THE WORST to get back in the package. That's why I end up eating the WHOLE package instead - HA!
Thanks so much for stopping by, buddy! Always great sharing a laugh with ya!
Hope you had a great day.....X
hahahah, don't you hate plastic. i especially hate the hard plastic that electronics and toys come in. they want you to buy the item, but not open it.
ReplyDeleteit's okay to eat off the walls and floor. i've done it.
Good Morning Susie!
ReplyDeleteOMG....I LOVE "Curb Your Enthusiasm!"
I don't get cable, however, a few years ago my brother sent me a DVD collection of the first season because he thought I would really enjoy the humor - and I did! My favorite character is the wife of Larry's friend (I forget her name) she's a RIOT!!
Yeah, I can SEE Larry doing something like this - HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
No, thank god I didn't pull out any crowns, because I have FOUR of them!
" Sometimes it is just great to "VENT" those feelings against inanimate things like popcorn..."
You said it - tee, hee!
Thank you for stopping by, dear lady! Always so great seeing your comments!
Have a GREAT day....X
I can just
Good Morning V!
ReplyDelete" i especially hate the hard plastic that electronics and toys come in. they want you to buy the item, but not open it."
OMG....YES!!!!!! My alarm clock came in that kind of plastic and I had to use a screw driver to first punch a hole in it, in order for me to get the scissors inside to CUT it open!!!! One time I ended up cutting my finger on the plastic - ouch!
Thanks a bunch for stopping by, girl! Always a delight to see ya!
Have a super Tuesday.....X
It always seems like the toughest ones to open are the ones when you are not near a knife. The worst is trying to use the tip of a pen and stab at the bag until you can make a hole in it. Why the damn things need to be so hard to get into is beyond me.
ReplyDeleteHiya Jen!
ReplyDelete"The worst is trying to use the tip of a pen and stab at the bag until you can make a hole in it."
Yes, I've also tried using the tip of a pen. Sometimes it's a cinch, and then other times I've broke the ball point, so the INK comes leaks out.
There's nothing quite like eating BLUE potato chips!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Always GRAND seeing ya, my friend! Thanks for dropping by!
Enjoy the rest of your day.......X
You know that "Psycho" is one of my absolute favorite movies but I never put it together with caramel popcorn! The vision of you attacking a bag with a huge carving knife has given me some giggles (along with odd looks from co-workers) today.
ReplyDeleteIf you want a truly annoying bag, go buy the new Sun Chips. People in Delaware will hear you trying to sneak a handful! ;)
Good Morning Nitebyrd!
ReplyDelete"You know that "Psycho" is one of my absolute favorite movies but I never put it together with caramel popcorn!"
Me too. And me neither, until I actually picked up the steak knife and started STABBING it!!! All I could think of was Norman Bates - HA!
OMG...aren't Sun Chips bags the LOUDEST?!?!? They're like a combination of paper and tin foil!
Thanks for stopping by, Sis! ALWAYS a HOOT!
Hope you're having a SUPER Wednesday....X
I know that exact feeling. I have no patience with inanimate things that don't cooperate. Bags, nowadays are melted together, I believe. That is why they are so hard to open.
ReplyDeleteI have given up long ago and keep scissors handy.
Good Evening Greg!
ReplyDelete"Bags, nowadays are melted together, I believe."
HAHAHHAAHAHA....that's exactly what it seems, doesn't it?
I swear, the older I get, the less patience I seem to have with stuff like this.
Thanks so much for stopping by, Greg!
Hope you had a fabulous day!
Enjoy your evening!
Hi Ron
ReplyDeleteHow are you?
I'm a very impatient person too... if I want something done I want it done NOW.
My job is collecting financial statements from the private sector and if a respondent promises me they will send me the statement today than I'm sitting here watching the screen of my computer to see if I receive that statement I was promised. And if they don't send it like promised I'll phone and phone till they get sick of my voice. That is how impatient I am...
Sometimes I scare myself for being so impatient. Oh well... nothing I can do about that. I guess it's in my nature to be like that.
Ok enough babbling.
You should have a great Thursday and don't work to hard today, Ron. :)
Good Morning Bernadine!
ReplyDeleteOMG...you're back! Yaaahoooo!
Soooo great seeing ya!
Yes, my friend....I'm impatient like that too, so I can totally understand. You should see how FAST I walk down the city streets! If someone is walking in front of me; moving like a SNAIL...I'm, like, "MOVE! GET OUT OF MY WAY!" If I were a car, I'd be HONKING my horn!
HAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!
No matter what I do, I'm still impatient. It's like you shared "I guess it's in my nature."
Thanks soooo much for stopping by today, Bernadine.
Hope you had a great break.
Have a super Thursday....X
I thought it was just me....getting older... or weaker! I cannot get certain things open no matter how hard I try and yes, it inevitably involves a sharp utensil to do the trick. So it's just not impatience, there's definitely some issues with the packaging. My gawd, have you ever tried to get an electronic gadget out of that heavy plastic sealed by some government agency. Those things you need a power tool to get into. Or a small child. They seem to get into everything quite easily. LOL
ReplyDeleteGlad you got to finally enjoy those yummy munchies!
Loved the audio addition!
Happy weekend. xo
Good Evening Crystal Chick!
ReplyDeleteOMG, I just this minute left a comment on YOUR blog!!!
"have you ever tried to get an electronic gadget out of that heavy plastic sealed by some government agency. Those things you need a power tool to get into. Or a small child."
Bwhahahahahahahahaha....yes, a small child is RIGHT!
Those plastice sealed things are the WORST!!!!
Glad you enjoyed the audio, my friend! It was a last minute add-on. It made me laugh when I heard it.
Thanks for stopping by, M! Hope you had a wonderful day.....X