My Nostrils Runneth Over With Hares



No sooner do I trim and coif the hair in my nostrils, two or three days later I once again have what appears to be two little bunny rabbits growing out of my schnozzola.

It’s strange, because as the hair on my head recedes, the hair in my nose seems to precede.

I’ve nicknamed my nose, Busch Gardens.

Last week at work while I was waiting on a customer, I kept feeling a little “tickle” on the side of my right nostril. And the whole time I’m talking to the customer, I repeatedly flicked my index finger over the tip of my nose; trying to indiscreetly scratch it without making it seem as though I was picking a boogie.

After the customer made their purchase and left the store, I ran to the nearest mirror to investigate what was going on with my nose.

And guess what I saw?

I saw a LONG dark gray hair protruding from my right nostril.

OH. MY. GOD.

All I could think about was what the customer must have been thinking, while I was selling them a BEAUTY product with a hair sticking out of my nose that looked like a 4 inch iron carpentry nail.

How FREAKIN’ embarrassing was that?

The only thing I could think to do was to daintily stuff it back inside my nostril until I got home.

The second I got inside my apartment that evening, I ran to the bathroom, grabbed my nose hair scissors and CLIPPED that sucker out.

It must have weighed about 10 pounds because when the hair hit the sink, I actually heard a “clink” sound.

Anyway….

My abundant nose hair agenda seems to be getting worse every year. And summertime seems to make them grow like weeds.

Which leaves me with one aggressive alternative solution.

Gardening tools…..







And if that doesn’t work, I can always try this…..





Just call me……Pippi Longstocking


45 comments

  1. Pippi Longboogies? Hairy Longstocking? The thought of a weed whacker for the nose cracked me up. I wonder if they make booger shears? Nose mowers? I know people use "blow" in their noses and the make blowers for yard work so maybe they should make blowers for boogers?

    I'll stop now. It's late and I'm getting silly. Have a wonderful week my dear friend.

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  2. OMG!!! You are TOOOOOO HILARIOUS Ron... and you touched upon a subject not many people talk about!! I have always belt that we should NOT have hair growing on certain parts of our body-- and IN our nose is one of those places... I mean.... I understand just WHAT nose hair is supposed to do.. but I DON'T understand why we get more and more of it... Doesn't make sense..
    As a woman-- I think that women should only have - hair on their scalp and eyebrows/eyelashes.... Apart from that, WE don't need it anywhere else... I mean, we have to shave it all off everywhere else, so what's the point, right??
    That facial hair/nose hair thing REALLLLY bugs- and while I don't have a lot - just the fact that I DO have it and have to deal with it appropriately, is a major pain in the ARSE!!!!
    I LOVED your vivid description of you nose hair- you should have named it while you still had it... or saved it in a jar, or something.. hahaha!!!
    Have a great day my dear! And keep on clipping/plucking...
    Leese

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  3. Ron have you tried Plucking and getting at the "root of the problem?" Maybe if you get at the root it will take its sweet time to grow back. I wonder if there is such a thing as laser hair removal for nose hairs. I have to agree that the little bugger being gray is like adding insult to injury. Unwanted hairs are the bain of us beauty lovers existence.

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  4. You kill me, Ron! Kill me! I'm sorry about your nose hair. Stubborn little bugger, eh? He must have been all coiled up in there the last time you weed whacked and then unfurled himself for the customer moment.

    I used to work with a guy who had a virtual bush growing out of his nose. Curly kinds, straight kinds, and all gray. It always bothered me, because he was married and why didn't his wife take a chainsaw to that mess? Didn't she ever look at him?

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  5. Hilarious... truly you Ron, in full action. You have the touch of calligraphy feather, the writer's twist-about on the typing tool.

    Body hair then... not so enchanting of a story.

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  6. YOU KILL ME, ron. too funny. i'm only growing a beard and fortunately nothing out of my nose.

    maybe you can put some beads on the end of the hair(s) growing out of your nose. hahahaha.

    you heard a clink. hahhahaha. did a piece of the sink break off. hahahaa.

    have a good and hot, sweaty day.

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  7. I agree with you Ron, there's nothing more offputting than a man with hair growing out of his nose and ears! YUK. I'll let you into a little secret - we ladies get a little nose hair as we get older - of course I get rid of it!

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  8. You crack me up! Receding hairline and excessive nose hair...related to my hubby? Seriously, one of my little charges one time was dancing with him, you know with her feet on top of his and he was moving his feet, she looked up at him and replied, I can't dance with you. You have hair in your nose!" I thought we were going to die laughing...oh, fromthe mouths of babes!!!

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  9. Gooood Morning Peg!

    "Pippi Longboogies? Hairy Longstocking?"

    Bwhahahhahahahahaahah....OMG, you are HYSTERICAL!

    How about Nosehairstocking?

    Bwhahahahahahhhahaha!

    You're entire comment made me HOWL!

    Yes, they do make nose mowers. They're these little battery operating nose hair clippers that WHIRL in circle. Kinda like a WEED EATER. I really need to get one of those!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my dear friend!

    And thanks for the great Monday morning LAUGH!

    Enjoy our week.....X

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  10. Bonjour Leesa!

    "I have always belt that we should NOT have hair growing on certain parts of our body-- and IN our nose is one of those places."

    Yes, I totally agree! The whole reason for nose hair though, is to filter out air particles and also to warm cold air before it gets to our lungs. But, my question is....WHY do we have to have SO MUCH?!? And why does it seem to grow so fast the older we get? ICK!

    As a man, I don't mind being hairy (in fact, I like it), but when hair starts growing on the the TIP OF MY NOSE, it gets a little annoying. I actually have to PLUCK the hairs off the outside of my nose!

    "... or saved it in a jar, or something..."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....too funny! Yeah, and then use it to knit a sweater for winter.

    As always, I love sharing our thoughts, Leesa!

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by!

    Have a FABU day......X

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  11. Good Morning Susie!

    OMG, I don't think I could stand the pain of PLUCKING the hairs out of my nose, but hey....laser hair removal for nose hairs sounds PERFECT! I wonder if they can actually do that?

    "Unwanted hairs are the bain of us beauty lovers existence."

    You said it, dear lady! That's why I think I might start BRAIDING them, and call it HAIR ART!

    Bwhahahahahahahahahaha!

    Have a FLAWLESS day, Susie! And thank you for stopping by!

    X

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  12. Good Morning Kathy!

    "He must have been all coiled up in there the last time you weed whacked and then unfurled himself for the customer moment."

    HA!...that damn little SUCKER! I think he purposely did it to embarrass me!

    "I used to work with a guy who had a virtual bush growing out of his nose."

    Yes, I've seen similar guys. And the whole time you're talking to them, you can't take your eyes off the BUSH!

    I don't know, perhaps the guys wife had a nose hair fetish and enjoyed it - HA!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, neighbor!

    Always a HOOT!

    Enjoy your day.....X

    P.S. don't you LOVE the heat were having????

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  13. Bonjour Susu!

    "You have the touch of calligraphy feather, the writer's twist-about on the typing tool."

    HAHAHAHAHAHA! Thank you, my friend!

    Always so great seeing you, Susu!

    Thanks for stopping by today!

    Hope you're enjoying a MARVI MONDAY.....X

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  14. Mornin' V!

    "maybe you can put some beads on the end of the hair(s) growing out of your nose."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a BRILLIANT idea. I can be like Beau Derrick in the movie "10."

    Yes, I actually heard a "clink" when that damn hair hit the sink. And it left a scratch on the porcelain!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

    Thanks for stopping by, girl!

    OMG...it's suppose to hit 96 today!!!

    God help me!

    X

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  15. Good Morning Akelamalu!

    "there's nothing more offputting than a man with hair growing out of his nose and ears!"

    YES...I totally agree! Especially the ear hair! OMG, it looks like they're turning into a WEREWOLF!

    HA!

    Hope you're having a great day, m'dear!

    Thank you for stopping by....X

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  16. Good Morning Suziecate!

    "I can't dance with you. You have hair in your nose!"

    HHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA...OMG, how PRECIOUS. And how HYSTERICAL!!!

    Don't ya just LOVE the bluntness of kids? They say whatever pops into their little heads!

    Thanks for stopping by, Suzie!

    Always a DELIGHT!

    Have a beautiful day......X

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  17. Hi Everyone!

    I'm getting ready to walk out the door to meet a fellow-blogger for lunch, so I'll be responding to comments and visiting your fabulous blogs later in the day.

    Thank you for your patience


    X

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  18. OMG....that's hysterical! I have this 'wild hair' that sometimes grows from the underside of my chin. I, like you, try my best to do grooming, but sometimes this thing just appears like magic! How can it just appear?! I just tweexzed in a magnifying mirror for God's sake! It wasn't there 3 hours ago...so HOW could it grow to an inch long in 3 hours?!

    But I DO need to know....how do you 'daintily' tuck anything into a nose?
    :-)

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  19. Helloooooooooooooo Nancy!

    "How can it just appear?! I just tweexzed in a magnifying mirror for God's sake! It wasn't there 3 hours ago...so HOW could it grow to an inch long in 3 hours?!"

    HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA...I SO totally know what you mean, and that's the same freakin' question I keep asking myself, "HOW? HOW? HOW? did it get there so fast???"

    I'm beginning to think it's an evil hair conspiracy to embarrass us at the worse possible moments.

    "But I DO need to know....how do you 'daintily' tuck anything into a nose?"

    By using a cute little demitasse spoon.

    Bwhahahhahahaahahaha!

    Thanks for stopping by, Nancy!

    Great to see ya!

    P.S.Aren't you LOVIN' this god-awful summer heat?? Can't wait for turtleneck season!

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  20. What an inspiring post Ron it actually inspired me to go look in the mirror :)

    If you go ahead and braid it then a fashion statement you will be making, heck it just may catch on and the next time that customer comes in rather than say nothing just may pay you a compliment.

    If you decide to pluck then it will be easier to grab if braided.

    Loved this one Buddy!!

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  21. Howdy Jimmy!

    "it actually inspired me to go look in the mirror"

    Did you find any LOOOONG ones?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHA!

    "If you go ahead and braid it then a fashion statement you will be making.'

    Hey...that's a GRREAT idea, bud! And then I may even take V's suggestion and add a few beads to them. Who knows...I may start a whole "look" in nose hair coiffeur!

    And you're right, much easier to pluck em' if braided!

    Bwhahahahahahahaaha!

    Thanks for stopping by, my friend!

    Hope you had a SUPER-DUPER day!

    X

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  22. Soooo ... whodya meet?

    Ron, go get your nostrils waxed. Once my son-in-law could stop crying, he told me it wasn't too bad. I haven't seen him since, though.

    Busch Gardens. BWHAHAHAHAAAA!

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  23. Hiya Nitebyrd!

    "Ron, go get your nostrils waxed."

    YAWZA!!!

    OMG...I bet that hurt like hell!

    "he told me it wasn't too bad. I haven't seen him since, though."

    Bwhahahahahahahahahaha!

    Thanks for stopping by, Sis!

    X ya!

    Mr. Busch

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  24. Okay, first of all, the word schnozzola is TOTALLY hysterical to me. And secondly, I also have nose hair that's out of control. Fortunately, I only have to deal with it once a month.

    I think I am more concerned with the fact that I just recently plucked my very first gray *chin* hair. YIKES!!!

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  25. Hellooooooo Meleah!

    "Okay, first of all, the word schnozzola is TOTALLY hysterical to me."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...me too! I first heard that word used to refer to Jimmy Durante's NOSE!

    Thank god you only have to deal with nose hair once a month. I have to deal with it FIVE TIMES a day - it's HORRIBLE!

    Ooooo...so you just found your first gray chin hair???

    You know what that means don't you?

    Eventually you're going to look like the Wicked Witch of the West...

    "I'll get you my pretty...and your little dog too!"

    Bwhahahahahahahhahaha!

    (only kidding)

    Thanks for stopping by, my wonderful Libra friend!

    Always a JOY!

    Enjoy your evening.....X

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  26. Oh, this killed me. KILLED ME, I tell ya!

    You coif the hair in your nostrils?

    I totally loved this post and now I must tell all my friends about it.

    - Margaret

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  27. Gooood Morning Margaret!

    "You coif the hair in your nostrils?"

    Yes...you should see, I actually tease and spray my nose hair into a bouffant.

    Bwhahahahahahhahahaha!

    ALWAYS so great seeing ya, dear lady!

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by!

    Hope you're having FAB day.....X

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  28. Ooh, I think you'd look just lovely with a braided nose hair. It'd be better to have a matching set, tho.

    Recently (REMEMBER I AM A WOMAN) I was gently plucking at what I thought was a small, stray hair at the edge of my nostril, only to discover that it wouldn't move. It was PART of my nose hair! And it was showing! I ran to the mirror, but I couldn't really see it. Still, it was most disturbing.

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  29. Hiya JD!

    "It'd be better to have a matching set, tho."

    HAHHAAHHAHA....yes, I agree!

    Pippi Nosehairstocking!

    Bwhahahahahahahaha!

    OMG...that's EXACTLY what happened to ME! I first thought it was just a hair ON my nose (because I get those too), but NOOOOOOOOO...it was coming from INSIDE my nose!

    Isn't that LOVELY?

    Thanks for stopping by, girl!

    You ALWAYS make me laugh!

    X,

    Pippi

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  30. Dude! "P.S. don't you LOVE the heat were having????"

    It finally broke! You and I are in our glory! It's actually COLD this morning. Enjoy this day! I know I will!

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  31. Mornin' Kathy!

    OMG...this has been the WORST summer heat we've had in years! Yesterday I thought I was going to pass out on the street from 150% humidity!

    Yes....it finally broke! Last night I could feel it changing a bit. And this morning it was FLAWLESS!!!

    YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    I wonder if it'll snow?

    Bwhahahahahahahahaha!

    Enjoy your day, Kath!

    X

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  32. Funny, funny, funny. You have a way with words. I'm still laughing. As noses go, I use a cuticle scissors (ouch) with too sharp points. Want to try one of those round nose hair clippers. Meanwhile, I am happy I don't have those long ear hairs. Hobbits anyone?
    Cheers.

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  33. Greetings PaulaDevi!

    Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing a comment. Nice to meet you!

    "Want to try one of those round nose hair clippers."

    Yes, those are the ones I use and they're great. However, I really need to use one of those battery operated nose hair clippers that WHIRL around in your nose like a weed eater - HA!

    "Meanwhile, I am happy I don't have those long ear hairs. Hobbits anyone?'

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...Hobbit, I LOVE that! Unfortunately I get those too. Sometimes I'll add a little styling gel and make them pointy, so I look like a warlock!

    Please stop by anytime. You're always welcomed.

    Cheers!

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  34. (probably got teary eyed as he swirled down the drain.....LOLOLOL)

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  35. *ack*

    I can only imagine....

    Was there a reason, you who work in the cosmetic area, that it was let go until you actually got home?!
    I mean--what was to stop you from sneaking off, baracading yourself in the mens' room and getting rid of the little stinker.
    :-/

    Secretly you liked the company....LOL

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  36. Good Morining Mel!

    "Secretly you liked the company...."

    That's right...I NOSE BUNNY fetish.

    HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAH!!

    The reason I left it there was because I didn't have anything to SNIP it out with. I suppose I could have used a plastic butter knife from Starbucks, though.

    HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHA!

    "(probably got teary eyed as he swirled down the drain.....LOLOLOL)"

    Poor little bunny.

    Tee, hee!

    Thanks for stopping by, dear lady!

    Always GRAND to see ya!

    Have grrrrrrreat day.......X

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  37. so glad i'm not a guy.

    i was contemplating that the other day how it seems that you guys are champs at growing hair EVERYWHERE but your heads!

    crazy.

    let there be no mistake, we girls have unsightly hair to deal with though, but if we're good enough at our jobs you guys never detect where it is.

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  38. Hi Blunt Delivery!

    "i was contemplating that the other day how it seems that you guys are champs at growing hair EVERYWHERE but your heads!"

    HHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...isn't that the TRUTH.

    As it leaves our heads, it just replants itself EVERYWHERE else (nose, ears, back, etc).

    "we girls have unsightly hair to deal with though, but if we're good enough at our jobs you guys never detect where it is."

    You GO, girls!!!

    Always great seeing you. Thanks a bunch for stopping by!

    Have a great holiday weekend.....X

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  39. Heh...yep, sounds very familiar. Why is it always at the most inopportune times that we notice things like an errant nose hair or the sudden need for deodorant?

    I did a Google search for "nose hair trimmers" and discovered that some of these bad boys are designed with a vacuum feature. Wow. Amazing technology to solve an embarrassing dilemma.

    Speaking of preening, is there such a thing as an "ingrown nose hair"? *shudder!*

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  40. Helloooooooooo Herman!

    Bwhahahahahahahahahaha!

    Your entire comment cracked me the hell up!!!

    "Why is it always at the most inopportune times that we notice things like an errant nose hair or the sudden need for deodorant?"

    OMG...I wish I knew the answer to that one, but I don't.

    Perhaps to simply makes us understand what it's like to be horribly EMBARRASSED?!?!?!?

    Yes...I've either read or heard about certain nose hair trimmers with a built-in vacumn. Isn't that freaking amazing? It's kinda like those haircutting clippers that also have a built-in vacumn!

    "Speaking of preening, is there such a thing as an "ingrown nose hair"? *shudder!* "

    I have no idea, but now that you mentioned it I will try to find that out in a cosmetology book.

    As always, I so enjoy your visits my friend!

    Thanks for stopping by!

    Enjoy your evening........X

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  41. oh my God, my stomach is starting to hurt. It started with the post, but I swear you have the best visitors! I love all the comments you get and the responses. I laughed so loud I thought I was going to wake the kids. This was too freakin hilarious! It reminded me of my hubby and his nose hair issues. He used to freak me out. WE would be driving down the road non-chalantly humming along, when he would start to fiddle with his nose. It would freak me out so bad and make me envision us going flying off the road-side, but he would yank those LONG suckers out and keep on driving. "My God", I would think with tears in my own eyes imagining the pain. I eventually bought him nose-hair trimmers for Christmas (at 32 his nose hair would be like an inch long for God's sake! His ear hair too). Yuck! Just plain yuck, but funny as hell. Thanks for the tickle and wondering why it took me so long to read this post!

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  42. Hilarious. As usual. And congrats on winning The Sunshine Award. Don't know how you found out about it first, but you are one cool blogger.

    http://crassconstruction.blogspot.com/2010/07/todays-linky-suddenly-susan-and-sunhine.html

    ReplyDelete
  43. Hello CherylT!

    Ha!....so glad you enjoyed. Aren't I silly?

    Thanks again for the award!

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  44. Okay, that's it....I can't take anymore..I am adding you to my RSS Feed...You are making me laugh! (and if you must know, you are REPLACING one of the more BORING blogs that I have been reading)...Carry on my new friend!

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  45. Hello Finally Getting To Even

    So glad you had a giggle. Aren't I a silly man?

    I will be adding you to my google feed sometime this weekend, too.

    So nice to meet ya!

    X

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