Okay, first I have to tell y'all that this post is going to be about PENIS SIZE.
So if that offends you in anyway, please stop back when I post about something less offensive, like the time I accidentally passed gas in front of a customer while selling them a bottle of perfume.
Yeah, it’s true.
I’m absolutely sure you ladies and gents get a surplus of emails that land in your spam box like I do, with a subject line that says….
Hey man, your girl feel down with your shorter penis?
Or.
You Have Everything To Gain!
And as a matter of fact, Wednesday I received THREE, but instead of deleting like I normally do, I decided to read them and then post about it.
Allow me say that as a gay man, size doesn’t matter at all to me. I’ve been with guys who have had schlongs the size of a surfboard, to a guy with one the size of a Nestles Raisinet, and it made no difference. Except, I had to use a magnifying glass to find the one the size of a raisinet, but it was sort of fun playing hide and seek.
To me, sex is all in the mind, therefore if I’m truly attracted to someone it doesn’t matter the size.
However, it may matter to some of you, so do share.
Here is one of the emails I received.
*And please notice all the misspelled words and horrendous grammar. I think the person who wrote this was obviously typing with their HEAD rather than their brain.
....................................
Incredible gains in length of 3-4 inches to yourPenis, PERMANANTLY
Amazing increase in thickness of yourPenis, up to 30%
Better Ejacu1ation control
Experience Rock-HardErecetions
Explosive, intenseOrgasns
Doctor designed and endorsed
...Grow Your Small Penis...
* ROCK SOLID hardness that feels bigger, wider and fuller (to you and to HER)
* THROBBING powerful blood flow to thePenis
* ALL-NIGHT staying power
The proven NaturalPenisEnhancement Pill that works!
100% MoneyBack Guaranteeed
It's used and recommended bySex industry professionals.
....................................
There are just two things I wish to comment on about this email.
First of all, I can’t stopping imagining the 30% increase in thickness. I mean come on….30%???
We’re talking an additional thickness like one of those trees you see in the California Redwood Forest.
And second of all, grow your small penis.
To me that sounds like all you need to do is fertilize and water it, and it’ll grow as big as an Arizona cactus.
I truly think this product is just silly horse feathers, and is all BS.
However, Wednesday night I had a dream that I actually purchased these pills.
And you know what?
They worked…..
……and I changed my name to Dick Prickly.
i suppose people do like things bigger and grander...or at least they think they do. I am small-chested and though I do think my hubby admires big boobs...mine have always done the trick for him. I guess I feel the same as you about penis size. I think I can safely say that most women could care less about such things...it is all about the "size" of the emotional connection. That is what enhances the physical experience...not the girth of an organ. At least that is how I feel.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't matter to me, dear boy, so the spammers might as well stop sending me unsolicited email. I don't think they can tell the difference between male and female account holders. I've got to tell you, though, that I LOVE that picture, hahaha those prickles are in EXACTLY the right place. Have a great week and ... keep taking the tablets (wink)
ReplyDelete*getting out the red pen*
ReplyDeleteAfterall, I did major in English.
*shaking head*
Attrocious....I'm tellin' ya....
Shame on them.
Good Morning Susie~
ReplyDelete"I am small-chested and though I do think my hubby admires big boobs...mine have always done the trick for him."
You GO, girl!
"I think I can safely say that most women could care less about such things...it is all about the "size" of the emotional connection."
LOVE IT! ""size" of the emotional connection."
That's exactly how I feel. The only thing I like bigger and grander is my hamburgers.
Bwhahahahaahaahaaha!
Thanks for stopping by today, my friend!
Have a wonderful weekend!
X
Hi Ronnie,
ReplyDeleteI can't stop chuckling, esp after seeing that corny last pic!
As long as men have worries in that department, there will always be that "miracle" cure out there right in your inbox.
These spam are good for a hearty laugh!! But yes, it makes us wonder how much some people need bigger...
But, a bit of that even more magical potion called "common sense" would be even better and... cheaper.
Take care of yourselves and don't let the "spam bugs" bite!!
Hugs to ya Ronnie xoxo
Good Morning Valerie~
ReplyDelete"It doesn't matter to me, dear boy, so the spammers might as well stop sending me unsolicited email."
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHHA!
You're right, I don't think they can tell the difference between male and female account holders, they just send them out as mass marketing. And I think we bloggers get the gist of them.
"I LOVE that picture, hahaha those prickles are in EXACTLY the right place."
Bwhahahahahahahaaha! Oh you are toooooo funny. You CRACK ME UP!
Thanks so much for stopping by, dear lady. Always a delight!
Have a super weekend!
X,
Dick Prickly
Goooood Morning Dear Mel~
ReplyDelete"*getting out the red pen*
Afterall, I did major in English.
*shaking head*
Attrocious....I'm tellin' ya....
Shame on them."
Bwhahahahahahahahahaha! Oh,I LOVE YOU, Mel!!!
I think they should get a BIG red F on their report card for English, don't you?
Thank for stopping by, dear lady! Always enjoyed!
Have a wonderful weekend!
X to you, himself, and the bug!
I constantly get these e-mails and to be honest, I'm sick of it!!
ReplyDeletemy dick is big enough and I have bigger balls than most men I've known
grow a small penis sounds like that's where it ends - you just grow a small penis
be careful with the magnifying glass - if you use it while having sex on the beach and the sun comes out well - you could burn the sucker right off
and that ain't pretty
Bonjour Barbara~
ReplyDelete"I can't stop chuckling, esp after seeing that corny last pic!"
Tee, hee! I know, the second I saw it online I KNEW I had to use it for the last visual. It was PERFECTO!
"These spam are good for a hearty laugh!! But yes, it makes us wonder how much some people need bigger...
But, a bit of that even more magical potion called "common sense" would be even better and... cheaper."
True, so true!
Thanks a bunch for stopping by, my friend! Always so great to see ya!
Have a wonderful weekend!
X to you and D!
OMG....Dianne....
ReplyDeleteI'm sitting here drinking my morning coffee, and when I read your comment I SPEWED all over laptop!
I've given you 10 stars and standing ovation for that one!!!
"my dick is big enough and I have bigger balls than most men I've known."
Bwhahaahahhhahahahaha!!! You GO, dear lady!
"be careful with the magnifying glass - if you use it while having sex on the beach and the sun comes out well - you could burn the sucker right off
and that ain't pretty."
Bwhahahahahahahahahahahaha! OMG, I can't stop laughing, my sides hurt!
Thanks sooooo much for stopping by and sharing your HYSTERICAL comment!
I LOVE YOU, WOMAN!
Have a wonderful weekend!
X to you and the gang!
Ditto Dr. Soosie! Yeah, I get these emails all the time about increasing mine, ha don't you have to have one in the first place!?! You are too much, Ron!
ReplyDeleteHelloooo SuziCate~
ReplyDeleteWasn't what Dr. Soosie shared SO right on?
"Yeah, I get these emails all the time about increasing mine, ha don't you have to have one in the first place!?!"
Yeah, you would think. However, maybe they're hoping you'll buy them anyway, just incase you have a cactus plant.
Bwahahahahahahaha!
Always great seeing ya, Suzi! Thanks for stopping by!
Have a FABU weekend!
X
Dick Prickly could have been another character with Dirk Diggler in "Boogie Nights."
ReplyDeleteHey Dick Prickly! or you could be Prickly Peter! hahaha I agree with Dr. Soosie too. I'm much more into the emotional connection. I've always heard it's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean! I guess that's kind of true too unless you've got a kayak when you really need a ocean liner. A kayak might get lost in there! LOL
ReplyDeleteAs for the boob size, my mom (yes, my MOM) always said more than a mouthful is a waste! LOL She is a card.
Hope you have a fabulous weekend!
Love the pics you've posted to illustrate! ;)
ReplyDeleteWithout giving too much away - I've never noticed the size, only what they do with it! (wink)
I haven't visited in a few days and I come back to this! LOVE IT!!! bwahahahaha. Oh Lord, that was priceless. I love your comment people too. They just add to it. And I agree that there is definitely something to be said for an emotional connection, but I hate to admit that I might be a bit of a size queen. But don't tell anyone, ok!! Please ;)
ReplyDeleteWe make 'em bigger in Texas. But really, all I can say about this topic is, uh, no thank you.
ReplyDelete:)
But it does bring to mind an awfully funny experience Cristy and i witnessed a little over a year ago. We were sitting on the balcony of a little inn in Austin TX having a cup of coffee overlooking Lake Travis. A truck was driving down the hillside road that passed just below the balcony and the truck slowed down as he approached. We both glanced down to notice, just in time, that the dude driving the pickup was only half dressed and was fiddling with Mr. Prickly.
For real. NOT freaking kidding.
But you, my friend, just have a real nice weekend, y'hear?
Hi Constant Complainer~
ReplyDelete"Dick Prickly could have been another character with Dirk Diggler in "Boogie Nights."
BRAVO!....I never even thought of that, but you're RIGHT! Wasn't that a great movie?
Thanks for stopping by, buddy! ALWAYS awesome to see ya!
Enjoy your weekend!
X
Hiya Peg~
ReplyDeleteYOU. ARE. HYSTERICAL!!!!!!
"I've always heard it's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean! I guess that's kind of true too unless you've got a kayak when you really need a ocean liner. A kayak might get lost in there!"
Bwhahahahahahahaha! "A kayak might get lost in there!
"As for the boob size, my mom (yes, my MOM) always said more than a mouthful is a waste! LOL She is a card."
HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA! I heard a friend of mine, who's hubby said the same exact thing! He was not into BIG boobs.
Thanks sooooooo much for stopping by and sharing your hilarity, dear friend! Always enjoyed!
Have a super weekend!
X,
Prickly Peter
Hello Akelamalu~
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw the photos online, I just KNEW I had use them to illustrate my thoughts!!!
"Without giving too much away - I've never noticed the size, only what they do with it!"
You said it, m'dear!
(wink)
Have a faaaabulous weekend! Thanks for stopping by!
X
Helloooooooooo Katherine~
ReplyDeleteGrrrreat to see ya, dear lady!
"I haven't visited in a few days and I come back to this! LOVE IT!!!"
I was feeling a bit naughty, so I couldn't resist sharing this - tee, hee!
"there is definitely something to be said for an emotional connection, but I hate to admit that I might be a bit of a size queen. But don't tell anyone, ok!! Please ;)"
Bwhahhahhahahahahaha! You GO, girl! Hey, there's nothing wrong with that at all. I know quite a few size queens who they love em' BIG!
Thanks so much for stopping by, Katherine! And thanks for the great laugh!
Wishing you a BIG weekend *wink*!
X
Hello Diane~
ReplyDelete"We make 'em bigger in Texas."
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA....yeah, that's what I hear!!!!
"We both glanced down to notice, just in time, that the dude driving the pickup was only half dressed and was fiddling with Mr. Prickly."
OMG...that's HYSTERICAL!!!! And funny you mentioned that because I've see that exact same thing a few times with truck drivers, while driving down the Florida turnpike!
How attractive, right?
NOT!
Thanks so much for stopping by, dear lady! Always great to see ya!
Have a wonderful weekend!
X to you and Cristy!
OK so if I order these pills my cactus will grow to a very large size as pictured, I am sure glad I don't have one planted too close to the door or else we would never get out.
ReplyDeleteSeriously I agree with you that people put too much stock in size, appearance, and social status rather than attitude, this is what I look at in a person, attitude is what makes a person beautiful, looks don't matter if you have a bad attitude because no amount of beauty can cover the ugly attitude and the size of your boobs or cactus wont get you far if people can't get past your ugly attitude.
Size don't matter, attitude does
Howdy Jimmy~
ReplyDelete"I am sure glad I don't have one planted too close to the door or else we would never get out."
Bwhahahahahhaahahaha! OMG, that was HILARIOUS!
Like in the movie, "The Little Shop of Horrors!"
"looks don't matter if you have a bad attitude because no amount of beauty can cover the ugly attitude and the size of your boobs or cactus wont get you far if people can't get past your ugly attitude."
Couldn't agree with you more, buddy!
"Size don't matter, attitude does."
You can say that again!
Thanks for stopping by, my friend! Always enjoyed and appreciated!
Wishing you and Cindy an AWESOME weekend!
X
intenseOrgasns This sounds like a condition no penis would want!
ReplyDeleteI get at least 4-5 penis emails a day, 4-5 buy Canadian drugs and/or Viagra and 2-4 designer watches emails. WTF? Where do the watches come in with the big penis' and drugs? So you can time the growth and/or high?
Size doesn't matter to me. If a man only brings a ginormous penis to the bedroom, he doesn't have much to offer. He'd better be able to use not just that organ but his intelligence, his sense of humor, respect, caring, hands, mouth, etc. Just because a guy has a large penis doesn't make him a good lover. If that's all you need then you can go buy one that won't talk or leave the toilet seat up.
(I fixed the comments on my spider post!)
Hellooooo Nitebyrd~
ReplyDelete"intenseOrgasns This sounds like a condition no penis would want!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA...toooo funny! And TRUE!`
OMG...I can't believe you mentioned the spam emails about WATCHES, because lately I've been getting those too!
"WTF? Where do the watches come in with the big penis' and drugs? So you can time the growth and/or high?"
Bwhahahahahahahahahha! Yeah, I guess!
"Just because a guy has a large penis doesn't make him a good lover. If that's all you need then you can go buy one that won't talk or leave the toilet seat up."
Bwhahahahahahhahahaha! OMG, you ROCK!!!!
And you're absolutely right, size doesn't matter.
Thanks a bunch for stopping by, you wild, cazy, and wonderful lady!
Hope you're enjoying a faaaaaabulous weekend!
X ya, Sis!
Rooo-on, you're almost making me blush... but only almost. I'm a girl who likes pleasures and can stand by it. I like it fairly big, but like in anything in life, too much is too much. And size is not all, what you do with it, that is the key.
ReplyDeleteOh la la, I got all daring here... now signing off before more revealing takes place;)
Love ya!
Bonjour Susu~
ReplyDelete"Rooo-on, you're almost making me blush... but only almost."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....oh, you're so cute!
" I like it fairly big, but like in anything in life, too much is too much. And size is not all, what you do with it, that is the key."
You GO, girl!
"What you do with it is the key." Right on!
Thanks for stopping by, beautiful lady! Your comment gave my Sunday morning, while sipping a cup of coffee, a smile!
Enjoy your day!
X ya!
HAR!
ReplyDeleteLove the cactus pictures.
As a straight woman, it matters. To me, anyway. That Raisinettes guy? Had he been straight? Not a chance. I know, I know, it's not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean. But if that tiny boat gets lost at sea, it's no good to anyone!!!
Goooooood Morning JD~
ReplyDelete"That Raisinettes guy? Had he been straight? Not a chance."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!
" know, I know, it's not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean. But if that tiny boat gets lost at sea, it's no good to anyone!!!"
Bwhahahahahahahha! YOU. KILL. ME. GIRL!!!!
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your honesty on this post, JD!
Have a BIG, faaabulous Sunday!
X
Ha ha ha -- Dick Prickly, that is excellent!
ReplyDeleteSize doesnt matter, sex is in the mind and the sense of adventrue. And yes hotness is a good thing, and does help for sure at first, a lot, dick size does not. Chemistry rules!
Greetings Brahm~
ReplyDeleteIt's sooooooo great to see ya!
Couldn't agree with you more....
Chemisty rules!
And yes "hotness" is a good thing.....tee, hee!
Thanks for stopping by. Hope you had a super weekend!
X
Well, Dick Prickly (LOVE THAT),
ReplyDeleteI have to say size doesn't matter UNLESS they're one extreme or the other. I like my men the way I like my porridge. Juuuuusst right.
Hope you had a great weekend! The weather was glorious!
Hiya Chrissy~
ReplyDelete"I like my men the way I like my porridge. Juuuuusst right."
Bwhahahahahahahahahaaha! OMG, girl...that's the first time I EVER heard that expression. THAT WAS BRILLIANT!!!
It sounds like something Mae West would have said!
Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend! Hope you had a great weekend too. Yes, wasn't the weather freakin' GLORIOUS? Hope you, Bern, and Vinny had a great time!
X
"Incredible gains in length of 3-4 inches to yourPenis, PERMANANTLY"
ReplyDeleteGlad to see that you got my e-mail. Excellent!
Heh... ;-)
But seriously, the size of a Raisinete? Brother, you're too much! LOLs! :-)
O.My.Gawd. can't these people learn how to spell? imagine how they pronouce
ReplyDeleteExperience Rock-HardErecetions
Explosive, intenseOrgasns
HA! thanks ronnie baby, can always count on youz to sent i to bed, that has grown 39% wider as i sit on it, smileswhite, evn afr the wirsted tha daz. xoxo
Hello Dearest Linda~
ReplyDelete"thanks ronnie baby, can always count on youz to sent i to bed, that has grown 39% wider as i sit on it, smileswhite, evn afr the wirsted tha daz."
Bwhahahahahahaha...OMG Linda, that was BRILLIANT! HYSTERICAL!
Thanks for the laugh, dear lady!
Have a great day!
xoxoxo
HAHAHAHAHAHAAH, thought i would pop back by just to see your reaction to my comment...i think i had you a bit, shall we say...stumped????!!
ReplyDeleteBWHAWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH -- now i like mine like oatmeal, not too thick and not too thin, omg no thin stuff for me, just..just right but has to taste right too, not too hot, nor cold, salty nor sweet, just ever lickin' good... nighty night, ronnie babe.xx
Good Morning Linda~
ReplyDeleteOH. MY. GOD......YOU ARE HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!
And you even had ME blushing!!!
(and that's a feat!)
Thanks for the awesome morning laugh, dear lady!
Have a super day!!!!!
xoxoxoxoxo
Oh My Goodness! I am HYSTERICAL laughing at this! Ahahahahahha. I get these spam emails too! I wonder what would happen if I ever took a male enhancement pill? I'd probably end up with "elephantitis of the bejingo"
ReplyDeleteI don't know if it's Gmail's spam filter or because of my gender, but I NEVER get opportunities to grow myself.
ReplyDeleteAnd now I feel all discriminated against!
Where's my spam?
Hi Meleah~
ReplyDelete" wonder what would happen if I ever took a male enhancement pill? I'd probably end up with "elephantitis of the bejingo"
Bwhahahahahahahaahaha!
OMG...that's HYSTERICAL, girl!
And I bet if I took a female bust enhancement pill, I'd probably end up with DOLLY PARTON boobs!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Thanks for stopping by, my Libra friend!
Always so great to see ya!
X
Greetings Megan~
ReplyDeleteWelcome! Thank you for stopping by and sharing a comment. Nice to meet ya!
"I don't know if it's Gmail's spam filter or because of my gender, but I NEVER get opportunities to grow myself."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Too funny! I also have gmail, yet I get a PLETHORA of these emails. I'd be glad to forward them to you - HA!
Please stop by anytime, you're always welcomed here!
Enjoy your evening!
That's simply HILARIOUS, Ron!!! I can't imagine just HOW much spam like that goes out and around cyberspace.... but I really wonder if anyone buys the stuff, I mean "REALLY!!!" You'd think there must be some takers to this very seductive email spam?
ReplyDeleteI think the prickly dick would hurt, just a bit, though the DO make vibrators that slightly resemble that man's cactus, buttttt.... OUCH- on thinking about it! Size doesn't matter all that much but for some it does... ; )
I met a guy once with a pencil dick and let me tell you.. I was sooo embarrassed for him!!!
Bonjour Leesa~
ReplyDelete"I can't imagine just HOW much spam like that goes out and around cyberspace.... but I really wonder if anyone buys the stuff, I mean "REALLY!!!" You'd think there must be some takers to this very seductive email spam?"
Yes, I bet there are LOTS of people who are takers of this very seductive spam. Especially if their TEENY - HA!
"I met a guy once with a pencil dick and let me tell you.. I was sooo embarrassed for him!!!"
bwhahhahahahahaha! I wonder if he was friends with my "raisinet man?"
Bwhahahahahaahaaha!
Have a faaaaaaabulous day, my friend. And thanks for the laughs!
X
HaHAha! LOL Honestly, as a c**k connoisseur myself I like them all and I don't think size matters one bit. Now having said that, I will admit to being
ReplyDeletea bit of a Scream Queen rather than Size Queen when it comes to the very well-endowed bigguns! Just imagine silver screen actress Evelyn Anders belting one out :O !!!!!
Hey Scott~
ReplyDelete"I will admit to being
a bit of a Scream Queen rather than Size Queen when it comes to the very well-endowed bigguns!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OMG, HILARIOUS!
"Just imagine silver screen actress Evelyn Anders belting one out :O !!!!!"
Flawless visual, Scott! Bravo!