I owe my inspiration for this post topic to SuziCate @ A Water Witch's Daughter, who wrote an awesome thought-provoking and enlightening post last week, entitled, Feeding The Beasts Within.
(so thank you, Suzi…..x)
Suzi expressed how we are all hungry beasts with a need to feed our desires for success, to be heard, and to be known. Yet, even though we desire these things there is a part of us that fears failure, ridicule, and being misunderstood.
Within her post, she said something that really caught my attention and hit home.
She said….
“It seems our biggest obstacle is fear.
Maybe the things we fear aren’t so large after all.
Maybe we just allow fear to grow out of hand.
Very possibly we are afraid to know our own power.”
And the line that hit me the strongest was….
“Very possibly we are afraid to know our own power.”
-----------------------------------------------
Back when I first started my acting career, I went through a period of paralyzing fear.
I feared being judged. I feared being ridiculed. I feared not being good enough.
And to be perfectly honest with you, I was judged, I was ridiculed, and I wasn’t always good enough (at first).
Yet, I pursued and did it anyway because I refused to allow these things to stop me from doing what I enjoyed.
But that fear, even though it lessened throughout the years, never fully left me; always lurking within the recesses of my mind.
Then, at some point, I began to wonder if it really wasn’t failure I was afraid of, but rather success.
Or, as Suzi said… “afraid to know my own power.”
Could it be that I was actually afraid to experience my own personal power?
Yes, it was.
Because once I acknowledged my own power, I could no longer deny it.
And once I achieved success, the challenges would get greater.
I realized it was much easier for me to deny my own power, so I would never have to know success.
And I know that sounds strange because we all believe we want to achieve success.
However, think about it.
Once we discover our own power and achieve success….what will we do with it? Where will we go?
And that is where the fear lies.
Looks like I'm stuck with this silly name. Oh how I wish I'd chosen to post under my Google name.
ReplyDeleteOkay, about fear. I once heard it said that fear is a necessary evil because it helps us to evaluate. Nervousness is brought on by fear, for whatever reason, yet it makes us do a better job of things. I was always nervous of making a fool of myself in public - and still am - yet people think I am full of confidence. If only they knew!
Have a super fine day.
Ignore this, Ron, I'm trying something new... like logging out and logging in as someone else... if you know what I mean.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post, Ron. There is nothing quite so frightening as learning what you are capable of. It means throwing out a lot of old thought patterns and breaking away from the comfort of the familiar. It's a very valuable lesson that needs to be reinforced constantly. Thanks for the refresher course, buddy, and have a great week!
ReplyDeleteHey Valerie~
ReplyDeleteYes, whatever you did it allowed your name to show up. Was it a different account? Anyway, it's great to see your real name.....X
Good morning Valerie/Joesgirl~
ReplyDelete"Looks like I'm stuck with this silly name. Oh how I wish I'd chosen to post under my Google name."
I'm pretty sure you can switch to any of your accounts listed on the option menu whenever you log in to make a comment.
"I once heard it said that fear is a necessary evil because it helps us to evaluate. Nervousness is brought on by fear, for whatever reason, yet it makes us do a better job of things."
Yes, and I totally believe that because I think fear is the catalyst which gives us the motivation to do something inspite of our fears.
" I was always nervous of making a fool of myself in public - and still am - yet people think I am full of confidence. If only they knew!"
BRAVA! You GO, girl!
I truly believe I will always experience fear, but I embrace it and move forward anyway. Fear has been one of my greatest teachers.
Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, dear lady. Have super fine day!
X
Hey there Rob~
ReplyDeleteYou said it! And you hit the nail on the head in sharing.....
"There is nothing quite so frightening as learning what you are capable of. It means throwing out a lot of old thought patterns and breaking away from the comfort of the familiar."
I think that's the thing...breaking away from the comfort of the familar. Stretching ourselves....learning what we are truly CAPABLE of.
Isn't it something how we often fear our own power?
Thanks so much for stopping by and adding your thoughts to this post. You've added much!
Have a super week, buddy!
X
Thanks for the shout out, Ron!
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I couldn't have said it better.
I think we're afraid to experience our power because then our whole world changes.
I hope you have a fabulous week!
Hey there SuziCate~
ReplyDeleteAnd thank YOU for inspiring me! I thought about your faaaaaaaabulous post ALL last week and decided to add my two cents.
"I think we're afraid to experience our power because then our whole world changes."
Yup....that's it!
Again, thank you, my friend! Have a terrific week!
X
As I like to say, "You can't un-ring the bell."
ReplyDeletePerhaps there's a certain amount of anonymity when we haven't reached that level of success that makes other people take notice of our achievements. Deep down in our subconscious we know we're able to blend in when we're in that state. Being successful means being noticed. Being noticed means new expectations. Some of this pressure can certainly be applied by external forces such as family, friends, fans, etc., but I think we're capable of putting much more pressure on ourselves than anybody else ever could.
Yes, I found that my logging out I was able to change to another account. I'm a happy bunny now, even though I'm listed as unregistered...
ReplyDeleteHey Jeff~
ReplyDelete"As I like to say, "You can't un-ring the bell."
OMG...I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE that!!!
BRILLIANT!
" Being successful means being noticed. Being noticed means new expectations. Some of this pressure can certainly be applied by external forces such as family, friends, fans, etc., but I think we're capable of putting much more pressure on ourselves than anybody else ever could."
You are absolutely right! It's the pressure we put on OURSELVES.
Thanks so much for stopping by and adding you insight to this post, buddy. Muchly appreciated!
Have an awesome week!
X
We are on the same train of thought this week Ron. I wonder if us bloggers can get on the same topic cycles like women living in the same house can get on the same hormonal cycles?!?!
ReplyDeleteAs I said in my most recent post, I fear BLAME, not success or failure.
Regarding Suzi's quote “very possibly we are afraid to know our own power.” I'm sure that's true for some people, but not most. I think the average person has no clue how to uncover their power...and if they do...they don't recognize it as powerful. My opinion is that the average person is most comfortable being...well...average...and not exceptional. Perhaps that's from fear. The FEAR OF BEING DIFFERENT.
Personally, if I find success as an author, I'll hardly be disappointed! But I do understand exactly where you're coming from with this post. Flying under the radar isn't bad, because there are no expectations and hence, no pressure. Should this book - or the next one - take off, though? That's when I'll feel the pressure to perform!
ReplyDeleteSome people want to be rich and famous. I'd be okay with the rich part only.
hmm, i don't really fear success, i fear success that i have to maintain.
ReplyDeleteHey Tracy~
ReplyDelete"I wonder if us bloggers can get on the same topic cycles like women living in the same house can get on the same hormonal cycles?!?!"
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! I think you're right! I thought it was so ironic that you and I were thinking about thing at the same time, when I read your post last week!
" I think the average person has no clue how to uncover their power...and if they do...they don't recognize it as powerful. My opinion is that the average person is most comfortable being...well...average...and not exceptional. Perhaps that's from fear. The FEAR OF BEING DIFFERENT."
LOVED that, girl! What an EXCELLENT point!
As always, thank you for stopping by and adding your insight to my posts. You're a gem!
Have a great week, Tracy!
X
Howdy Mark~
ReplyDelete" Expand Personally, if I find success as an author, I'll hardly be disappointed!"
You GO, boy! And you already HAVE found success because you wrote a book and had it published from of your passion!
" Flying under the radar isn't bad, because there are no expectations and hence, no pressure. Should this book - or the next one - take off, though? That's when I'll feel the pressure to perform!"
Exactly. And that's my point of this post.
Thanks so much for stopping by and adding your insight to this post, buddy! Greatly appreciated!
Have a FABU week!
X
Hey V~
ReplyDelete" i fear success that i have to maintain."
BINGO! That's it! Me too!
That's what I mean by....
"….what will we do with it? Where will we go?
Thanks for stopping by, girl! And thanks for sharing!
Have a fantabulous week!
X
Very thought provoking post, Ron. And I have to admit that whenever I've been hesitant to do something that has frighten me, it has always been about my fear of success more so than failure because I know that the challenges will increase; causing me to trust my power even more. And can I do it?
ReplyDeleteThank you sharing this. Have a wonderful week!
Hola Denise~
ReplyDelete" it has always been about my fear of success more so than failure because I know that the challenges will increase; causing me to trust my power even more. And can I do it?"
Exactly. That's always my question too. What will I do with it and where will I go? Isn't ironic that the more we succeed, the more we sometimes doubt that we will continue to succeed??? HA!
Thanks a lot for stopping by and sharing your thoughts on this post, girl. Hope you had great weekend and a great week ahead of you!
X
I think you are very right about that. I think many times we are afraid first of not being able to succeed and then if we get close I think we sometimes sabotage ourselves because we are afraid of what success would mean!
ReplyDeleteHave a great week my wonderful friend!
Hiya Peg~
ReplyDelete"I think many times we are afraid first of not being able to succeed and then if we get close I think we sometimes sabotage ourselves because we are afraid of what success would mean!"
*thunderous applause*
You are sooooooo SPOT ON!!!
Because I have to admit, looking back, I see that I definitely sabotaged myself upon getting close to success MANY times.
Thanks SO MUCH for stopping by and adding your faaaaabulous insight to this post, dear friend! LOVED IT!
Have a glorious day.....X
Oh, I am so guilty of letting FEAR run much of my life. It's sad, but it's true, I hold back from doing a lot of things all because of fear.
ReplyDeleteWow. I am floored by the manhole cover you just blew off with this post, Ron. Kudos to SuziCate, as well (although her insightful writing comes as no surprise to this fan). Isn't it interesting that "talent search" shows such as American Idol, X Factor, etc., put judgement, ridicule, and failure smack in the middle of their spotlight? It's as if they want to make our deepest fears part of the grand "drama" of their production. How cruel. But I wonder how best to quantify our sense of "success". I feel like I am getting to know myself and my own latent talents better on a daily basis (as I observe you doing the same by playing le voyeur to your blog postings), but not sure if there is a corresponding development of audience/anonymity (apologies to Jeff). Almost as if one can drift into solitude while making deeper personal discoveries at the same time.
ReplyDeleteGeez. I need a drink.
EFH
Hi Ronnie,
ReplyDeleteI just was over from Suzi's blog to read her post. It was an interesting food for thought. There is much wisdom in those words.
Yes, "what if?" is a common game for a lot of us. It's OK when we are considering choices but, if we are afraid to stop playing and start acting, then there is a problem. Worse yet, those who were too afraid to try and end up with regrets.
It is a bit like when I take a trip. I may feel nervous at first, despite my desire to go somewhere. But, I take a deep breath and get going. Then, the power is in my hands to do, go and experience. Like with life.
Happy Monday, buddy. xo
Fear... I'm having to fight that demon every day. Some days more, some days less. If only this fight could disappear... how much energy would be saved.
ReplyDeletewow, this is so true, isn't it? i don't remember when i figured this out but it was somewhere on my therapy path...and it was a doozy to have to claim it!!! yes, i do think most are stuck on this road as well...tho they don't realize it. i see it all the time...sadly. ah well...
ReplyDeleteanother great post, ronnie, thanks so much...i hope i can ask you one tiny question? i wondered if you put any code into your HTML? the one that recommends this:
Create a blank file and host it on your domain.
• Specify the URL to that file below below, e.g. http://example.com/blank.html
• Alternatively, you can specify the URL path to a known 404 page, e.g. http://example.com/does-not-exist/
something about making it easier for all browsers without needing to reload a page or something....i have no idea but wondered if you ignored it. thanks much, sweetiexoxxo
Oh dear. You have just made me realise what the lack of success in my life has been due to. I like to blend in and hate being singled out as being on a more successful level than others. I have given up two very good jobs in the past, because I couldn't handle being the 'boss' and have staff answerable to me. I was very young at the time and may have been braver as a more mature woman. Who knows.
ReplyDeleteI was only about 20 and was employed as a designer in a very high class company (By Appointment to The Queen). My work space was on a raised platform and all the other workers were about 3 feet beneath me. I hadn't realised what my appointment meant until I had been there for about a week. The staff spoke to me with respect and a kind of 'lowly' attitude, which confused me. They wouldn't sit with me in the canteen either. I soon realised that, as the 'designer' I was considered a very important person and 'out of their league'. I was their boss. This was obviously the reason I was on a raised platform. They knew their place. I couldn't handle it and actually left the job. can you believe that? That job could have been the first rung to success and I left it. I went to work in an office and became one of many girls doing mundane work. I was far happier though :)
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
ReplyDeleteMarianne Williamson
I take my turn at reminding ME of that...
And THAT, I'm well aware of--believe in and (I'll own it) live bits and pieces of. I get a taste of the power in ME and I start to panic after a bit. It's, in part, the maintaining bit that frightens me-- I know this (and I've had awakenings to bits and pieces of it) I start to doubt and worry (which is never a good plan). So I back off and compromise it and always remain under that bar. The inklings I get are enough to scare the by-jeepers out of me. I don't know what it is.
No, that's not true.
I get the implication of the responsibility of what to do with it--and I bolt in the opposite direction. Truth be told it's probably very, very simple. And I'm just fearful that it'll look like it matters as much as it does.
There.
There's the truth for me.
I don't know that I'm glad I gave that piece up--but there you have it.
Bonjour Susu~
ReplyDeleteThank you for your honesty, my friend. And I also have to share, that I too fight this demon. I mean, just because I know WHERE my fear stems from, doesn't mean I still don't have them.
But my thing is this....
as long as we are willing to walk through our fears, we are a success!
Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, beautiful lady!
Have a wonderful week!
Ciao....X
Hey there Barbara~
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to hear you stopped by Suzi's blog for a read! She is such a wonderful writer and OFTEN inspires me. Very talented lady, she is!
" It's OK when we are considering choices but, if we are afraid to stop playing and start acting, then there is a problem. Worse yet, those who were too afraid to try and end up with regrets."
Exactly! This is why I walk through my fears because I don't ever want to regret not trying.
"It is a bit like when I take a trip. I may feel nervous at first, despite my desire to go somewhere. But, I take a deep breath and get going. Then, the power is in my hands to do, go and experience. Like with life."
BRAVA! LOVE how you said that!!! I gotta remember that!
Thanks a bunch for stopping by and adding your imput to this post. Muchly appreciated and enjoyed!
Have a wonderful week, my friend!
(((( Barb )))))
XO
Hello Dearest Linda~
ReplyDelete" i don't remember when i figured this out but it was somewhere on my therapy path...and it was a doozy to have to claim it!!!"
I know. But if we don't claim it, we stay trapped in our fears. I would much rather TRY than NOT try.
Thank you for not only stopping by and sharing on this post, but also for the Disqus information you shared. No, I haven't added any code and it seems to be working for all browsers. I did read that Disqus was previously having issues with certain IE browsers, but fixed it. Last night, Jayne, left a comment on the post below and said that she finds that Disqus works the best with Google Chrome, so I may download that to my laptop soon.
However, I will check out the links your left me, later this evening.
Thanks again, my friend!
(((( Linda )))))
xoxoxoxo
Hiya Babs~
ReplyDelete"I have given up two very good jobs in the past, because I couldn't handle being the 'boss' and have staff answerable to me. I was very young at the time and may have been braver as a more mature woman. Who knows."
It's ironic you mentioned that job because I too had the same experience being in management (the boss). I too was younger at the time and really don't think I had the 'life knowledge' I needed to manage others.
" I couldn't handle it and actually left the job. can you believe that? That job could have been the first rung to success and I left it. I went to work in an office and became one of many girls doing mundane work. I was far happier though"
OMG...that's EXACTLY what I did too, Babs! I had that job for about a year and a half and made GREAT money, but I just didn't like managing others. I much prefered being on the sales floor mingling with customes and doing my own thing.
So, I don't think either one of us (you and I) FEARED success in our positions, it just wasn't a good fit.
Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your story, my friend. You made me 'realize' something. So, thank you!
Have a great week!
X
P.S. say Hi to Mo for me!
Greetings Expat~
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear that you're a fan of Suzi too. Isn't she wonderful?
" Isn't it interesting that "talent search" shows such as American Idol, X Factor, etc., put judgement, ridicule, and failure smack in the middle of their spotlight? It's as if they want to make our deepest fears part of the grand "drama" of their production. How cruel."
I LOVE how you said that because, yes, that's it exactly how it felt when I was acting professionally - putting myself directly out there to be judged and ridiculed. But, I gotta tell ya...I learned A LOT from that, because as long as I was willing to put myself out there, I never really failed.
" But I wonder how best to quantify our sense of "success". I feel like I am getting to know myself and my own latent talents better on a daily basis.'
Me too. I think it's process. And I think (for me, anyway) success means willingness to TRY. Because if I least try, I've succeeded.
Thanks so much for stopping by and adding your thoughts, feelings, and wisdom to this post, buddy. Muchly valued and enjoyed!
Have a faaaaaaaaabulous week!
X
Hiya Mel~
ReplyDeleteFirst, thank you SO MUCH for sharing that quote from Marianne Williamson (who I LOVE, btw), because it's PREFECT for what I was trying to say (which she said even clearer).
" Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."
And I agree with her too. Our deepest fear IS our light.
" I get a taste of the power in ME and I start to panic after a bit. It's, in part, the maintaining bit that frightens me-- I know this (and I've had awakenings to bits and pieces of it) I start to doubt and worry (which is never a good plan). So I back off and compromise it and always remain under that bar."
I totally hear ya, Mel, because I get those same feelings.
"I get the implication of the responsibility of what to do with it--and I bolt in the opposite direction."
Yup...what to do with it and where to go. Isn't it funny how when we get a taste of the power within us, we often fear that it won't be there for us when we proceed? So, then we begin to feel fearful again.
"There.
There's the truth for me.
I don't know that I'm glad I gave that piece up--but there you have it."
Well, I'm soooo glad you gave up that piece up because you've added a tremendous amount of wisdom and insight to this post, dear lady.
Thank you for your honesty.
(((( Mel ))))
X ya bunches and bunches!
my grandmother, who escaped from Russia during the worst of times, told me that she always "trusted the fear to show me which way to go"
ReplyDeleteHello Lady Dianne~
ReplyDeleteBRAVA to your grandmother!
AWESOME advice!
Fear can truly be one of the greatest teachers in life.
Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, dear lady.
Muchly appreciated and enjoyed!
Hope you had a glorious Monday!
X ya!
P.S. give Hope a hug for me!
such an brilliant topic and so much to delve into. So many layers and contradictions in my actions, in my thoughts...setting myself up to play out well rehearsed behaviors that keep me in the same familiar pattern where I don't have to stretch much more than is tolerably comfortable. And here I am using acting as the metaphor for describing my own behavior. In all honesty, I think the only place where I am truly trying to stretch into the best version of myself is in my marriage. An audience of 2.
ReplyDeleteSounds like I need to go back (yet again) to therapy....!
and before I leave, thank you for visiting and for your wonderfully thoughtful comments Ron. xoxo, Diane
Hello Diane~
ReplyDelete"And here I am using acting as the metaphor for describing my own behavior."
And what a BRILLIANT metaphor! BRILLIANT because that's exactly what acting taught me. Art imitates life!
I too have contradictions in my actions, in my thoughts...setting myself up to play out well rehearsed behaviors that keep me in the same familiar pattern.
And to be perfectly honest, I think we ALL do.
"In all honesty, I think the only place where I am truly trying to stretch into the best version of myself is in my marriage. An audience of 2."
It's so ironic that you shared that because I've heard MANY people say the same thing. Marriage (relationships) cause us to stretch ourselves. And I think it's because we learn to SHARE deeply, therefore we have to stretch ourselves.
No, my friend...I don't think you need to go back to therapy. You know EXACTLY who you are. And that's AWESOME!
Thanks so very much for stopping by and adding your wisdom to this post. You've added MUCH!
Have a great week, my dear friend!
X to you and Cristybella!
P.S. and thank YOU for your wonderful blog. You inspire me always!
The older I get the less concerned I am about my limitations. As the years progress I see them as challenges destined to be overcome. And the older I get the less concerned I am about the opinion of others and what they think.
ReplyDeleteThings seem more difficult than they really are when you're younger. With age a certain satisfaction is had with each difficult challenge overcome with hard work and perseverance.
We all have the power inside us to achieve what we most covet.
Howdy Herman~
ReplyDeleteLOVED your comment because it's SO TRUE!!!!
"The older I get the less concerned I am about my limitations. As the years progress I see them as challenges destined to be overcome. And the older I get the less concerned I am about the opinion of others and what they think."
BRA-VO!
And you're right...things always seem more difficult then they really are when we're younger.
"We all have the power inside us to achieve what we most covet."
AMEN!
Thanks so much for stopping by and adding your thoughts, feelings, and wisdom to this post, buddy! Muchly appreciated.
Have a grrrrreat week!
X to you and the family!
mmmmhmmm...
ReplyDeletethis is true bestie! very true. I often think of that as well. Because once you succeed then you have a whole other set of issues..
Fear is tricky. For some, fear is a motivator and for me, it's a total de-motivator. I want to hide under a basket and avoid everything. haha. I think my issue is that i moreso want everyone to be happy and pleased with what i've done. and that is impossible to achieve, obviously. and even if you please some, you won't please all. accepting that, for me, is the hard part. you cant be a success in everyone's eyes... you can only be a success in your own eyes, that's all that matters. or else you're just chasing pavements... ;)
Hey Blunt~
ReplyDelete" I often think of that as well. Because once you succeed then you have a whole other set of issues.."
Exactly! And then you have to keep climbing.
I LOVE how you said this....
"... you can only be a success in your own eyes, that's all that matters. or else you're just chasing pavements... ;)"
You're so spot on!
Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your wisdom on this post, girl! Muchly appreciated and enjoyed!
Have a SUPA' week, bestie!
X ya!
"Once we discover our own power and achieve success….what will we do with it? Where will we go?
ReplyDeleteAnd that is where the fear lies."
I never thought about it in terms of personal power and finding it. That's an interesting twist. I completely believe that my biggest problem throughout my life has been crippling fear. It's been fear of almost everything and it has impacted my life in so many profound ways. I think that in taking chances and trying to succeed that means that then there's more expectations placed on me. And, then what if I fail?
The blog has been my big leap of faith. Now, I'm going to try for more.
Good morning Jen~
ReplyDelete"I think that in taking chances and trying to succeed that means that then there's more expectations placed on me. And, then what if I fail?"
Exactly.
Also (for me anyway), I fear what I will do with that success. Once I get there, what's left? I know that may seem like an odd thing to fear, but I often do.
We are strange creatures us humans, aren't we? We desire success, but then when it happens we get all fearful about it.
"The blog has been my big leap of faith. Now, I'm going to try for more."
Me too. But, the really wonderful thing about having our blogs is that they provide us with a space to stretch and grow - testing our fears.
Thanks so much for stopping by and adding your honesty and insight to this post, my friend. You've add MUCH!
Have a great week.....X
Hi Ron! I'm a blog friend of Mary's and wander over to your blogs from time to time! You have some great stuff over here!! Just thought I would say hello!! I have added you to my blogroll as well!!
ReplyDeleteTake Care!!
Jeanne aka bichonpawz
Greetings Jeanne~
ReplyDeleteWelcome! Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment. So nice to meet you!
And thank you, glad you enjoy Vent.
I will stop by your blog later this evening or tomorrow. Can't wait!
Hope you're having a great week!
X
That's fantastic for you to realize even the existence of the "fear of failure". Most people who get paralyzed with fear don't even know why they have it, or where that fear came from. Very often it IS also the fear of success.
ReplyDeleteI've written an entire ebook about the fear of failure and how to overcome it, and I'm giving it away for FREE at my website here.
http://www.incrediblemotivation.com
SO many people have a fear of failure and don't even know why. I truly hope that sources which bring it to light, such as my book and your post blog, will help people to realize the existence of the fear of failure (And fear of success) and allow them to make the conscious decision to overcome it.