Friday, March 16, 2012

The Most Difficult Post I’ve Ever Had To Write

A lot has been going in my life right now concerning my mother, which I haven’t shared with you because she, and my brother and I, were unsure as to what was going on with her health.

In the past several weeks she’s had a battery of medical tests in the hopes of finding out what the problem was. She hasn’t been feeling well for a few months, experiencing breathing problems and several other things.

It would take far too long for me to tell you all the details of the various ups and downs she’s been through, and the runaround she got from her primary doctor. But let’s just say that the doctor was not proficient. Therefore, by the time they got around to sending my mother to a specialist, her health began to decline rapidly.

Monday night, my brother had to call 911 because my mother was having an extremely difficult time breathing. Then Tuesday afternoon, I got a call from my brother telling me that my mother had been diagnosed with cancer.

And it’s the tough kind.

The doctor told her that there may be a chance of miracle, but they give her anywhere from 4-6 months if she accepts chemo – which she has.

When I spoke to my mother on Tuesday night, she was very direct, saying, “Well…this is something we just have to accept and deal with.”

Honestly, I have a million things going through my heart and head right now.

One minute I’m fine, the next minute I’m sobbing like a baby.

Part of me believes that, yes, a miracle may occur. Yet another part of me is very scared, that there may not.

As you all know, I love my mother very much, and can’t imagine what my life would be like without my best friend.

I truly can’t imagine.

But for now, I’m just going to take one day at a time, openly walking through this journey with my mother; trusting that it will be as peaceful and gentle as possible.

I am keeping in close daily contact with her and my awesome brother, staying updated on what’s going on. I am also preparing myself for the time when I will need to fly to Florida and be with them. I don’t exactly know when that will be, because everything is uncertain right now. We’re just taking each moment as it comes.

I’ll intuitively just know when I need to go.

She is currently still in the hospital until they can stabilize her well enough to come home, which should be sometime this weekend. And believe it or not, her spirits are up and she’s as feisty as ever.

You know, this is one of those times in your life when you wish you would wake up and discover that it was just a dream.

But it’s as my mother said, “Well….this is something we just have to accept and deal with.”

And that’s one of the many things I love and admire about her….she’s not afraid to see what’s in front of her and face it, even though she might be afraid.

She’s a hit it head-on kind of gal. And taught me to be the same way.

But in the meantime, if you could all just send positive and loving energy to my mother, I would greatly appreciate it.

You see, I believe in the power of energy. And know that it can reach far and wide.

Thanks a bunch, you guys!

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

X