Monday, January 28, 2013

With Kisses, Olivia


Okay, I just could not allow this opportunity to go by without sharing it.

Plus, I haven’t written a post about sexy spam email in way over a year.

But I'm just warning you....cover your ears because this is gonna be a DIRTY post.

As most of you already know, email spam runs rampant on the Internet. Most of the time it's automatically placed in my spam box and I just delete it without ever opening them.

However, last Friday afternoon I couldn’t resist opening one that caught my eye, in which the subject box said, “Hi handsome!” Because I thought that maybe Daniel Craig was finally emailing me to ask if I wanted to go out on a date.

WRONG. No such luck.

Much to my surprise it was from a funny, cute chick in some faraway country, who calls herself Olivia, and who asked me to “go somewhere” and “visit her life.”

Here it is:

---------------------
Hi handsome! ;)

If you looking forward about spending great time in a company of funny, cute chick then I'm waiting for u!

I really liked ur photo shots and that's why decided to send this mail! I'm sure that you wouldn't stay disappointed after staring at mine too.

So, I wait for you to answer this message and who knows we will go somewhere, drink some vodka, talk about different subjects and who knows I gonna invite you to visit my life! ;)

With Kisses,
Olivia
-------------------

First of all, do you just love the way she talks?

“If YOU looking forward ABOUT spending great time IN A COMPANY of …”

“SO I WAIT FOR YOU to answer this message and who knows WE GO SOMEWHERE…”

“...who knows I GONNA INVITE YOU TO VISIT MY LIFE…”

God love her!

-------------------

Now, here is my response to Olivia:

Hi Olivia!

Thank you for your email, inviting me to spend great time in your company and visit your life. However, unless you’re looking for a man to style your hair and makeup, and perhaps help you select a fabulous cocktail dress, with a color coordinated purse and a pair Jimmy Choo shoes, you’re sending your emails to the wrong man because I’m GAY.

Gay meaning, I’m a homosexual. Homosexual meaning, I’m a man who would date someone with the name Woodrow, but sometimes goes by the name Woody.

Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?

I like WOOD.

Listen, I’m curious to know where you found my photo shot’s because I don’t remember posing for any photos lately. Yet, you’re more than welcome to send me a photo of you, so that after I’m done staring at it I can run it down to a gentlemen's club called, Delilah's, because I'm almost certain they would love to see a funny, cute chick for themselves.

And they would probably even pay you for a "happy ending."

Oh, and I also need to tell you that I don’t drink vodka, only red wine. Sorry.

You truly seem like a very lovely lady. Yet, I apologize to inform you that I don’t see us going anywhere together.

That is unless it’s shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue. And then going for manicures and pedicures afterwards.

But hey, I would like to invite you and your emails to go somewhere together...


With Kisses,
Handsome

64 Comments:

  1. OMG Ron.........you are a HOOT! "I like wood"...........bahahaha, well, don't we all? Too funny!

    I constantly got those "I saw your photo" spams when I had yahoo. It freaked me out at first! I especially love the ones where they attempt to impersonate someone you know, asking for money because they are stuck in some bad situation, but of course, with broken English. That cracks me up! How dumb must they be to think We would believe our friend suddenly is dropping pronouns and helping verbs?

    Thanks for the Monday morning laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I get these spam emails all the time, from Olivia, Tiffany, Katelyn, Giselle. They've also got the wrong idea about me. Maybe I could copy and paste the parts of your email about preferring to date men for my replies. Although I'm not sure I could ever say "I like WOOD" without giggling uncontrollably.


    I just hit delete immediately, for these emails, the ones offering me cheap viagra, and the financial scams. But once when I got one about transferring money to my account from Nigeria I wrote back, "Yes! Send me enormous amounts of money right away! Please just let me know how much of my personal information you need and where to send my first born son! I can't wait to be rich! I'm so excited! I eagerly await your reply!"

    ReplyDelete
  3. Too funny! You'll have to let us know if she gets back to you. A few of the girls are taking me to get manicures and drinks next week for my birthday. I'm trying not to be a wet blanket as I don't like manicures and just going with it. Wish you could be there. It would make it infinitely more fun!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Rob LenihanJanuary 28, 2013

    That's telling her, handsome! Who does this tootsie think she is, looking at ur photo shots, demanding to drink vodka with you, and inviting you to visit her life?



    Great post, buddy, you really put this fembot in her place. And I'll bet that when Daniel Craig hears about this, he'll be so insanely jealous that he'll buy you a bottle of wine and invite you to visit his life!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good morning Bijoux~

    " "I like wood"...........bahahaha, well, don't we all?"

    HHAHHAHAHAHA! You said it!!!!

    " I especially love the ones where they attempt to impersonate someone you know, asking for money because they are stuck in some bad situation, but of course, with broken English."



    Yes, yes, yes! I've gotten those too. And I've also gotten ones that ask for your bank account information, so that they can DEPOSIT $200,000. into your account - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


    Thanks for stopping by, my friend! Have a fabulous week!


    X

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh Ron, you are hilarious! Thanks for the morning chuckle.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey there Secret Agent Woman~

    "They've also got the wrong idea about me. Maybe I could copy and paste the parts of your email about preferring to date men for my replies. Although I'm not sure I could ever say "I like WOOD" without giggling uncontrollably."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Do you know what I've always wondered? Why don't these emails ever come from men?

    "But once when I got one about transferring money to my account from Nigeria I wrote back, "Yes! Send me enormous amounts of money right away! Please just let me know how much of my personal information you need and where to send my first born son! I can't wait to be rich! I'm so excited! I eagerly await your reply!"



    HILARIOUS! Yes, I've gotten those emails too, but have never replied. Good for you for replying. That was STELLAR!!!!!


    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a SUPER week!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  8. Totally HILARIOUS! A perfect response, Ron, and I wish I could see her face when she reads it. That always assuming Olivia is female, of course. I just finished forward posting about spam email... but those I have aren't half as interesting as yours. In my case they're all after my money - although there was one proposition which you will see another time.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hiya Jen~

    "You'll have to let us know if she gets back to you."

    HA! Funny, but this morning in my spam box, I had FIVE more of these emails sent to me. I had a feeling that would happen!

    "I'm trying not to be a wet blanket as I don't like manicures and just going with it. Wish you could be there. It would make it infinitely more fun!"



    How how fun, I wish I COULD be there with you!


    And that's right, I forgot your birthday is coming up!!!


    Happy Pre-Birthday, girl!!!


    Have a marvi week and thanks for stopping by!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hey there Rob~

    "Who does this tootsie think she is, looking at ur photo shots, demanding to drink vodka with you, and inviting you to visit her life?"

    OMG, when I read the part in her email about the VODKA, I died laughing!!!

    " And I'll bet that when Daniel Craig hears about this, he'll be so insanely jealous that he'll buy you a bottle of wine and invite you to visit his life!"



    Bwhahahhaahhahahahaa!


    I wish!


    Great seeing ya, buddy! Have a SUPA' week!


    X

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hey there Katherine!


    Yeah, aren't I SUCH a heart-breaker?


    Bwhahahhahhahha!


    And it's funny, because this morning in my spam box, I found FIVE more emails like this and one of them was from OLIVIA!!!!


    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, my friend. Have a super week!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  12. Good morning Valerie~

    "and I wish I could see her face when she reads it."

    This morning I discovered FIVE more emails like this and one of them was from OLIVIA!!!!!

    And you're right, how do even know that these emails are from women?

    " I just finished forward posting about spam email.."

    Oh goodie, I can't WAIT to read about it on your blog!!!

    " In my case they're all after my money - although there was one proposition which you will see another time."



    Yes, I've gotten those kind of emails too. The ones who either ask for your money or ask for your personal bank account information, so that they can depost $200, 000 into your account - HA!


    Thanks so much for stopping by, dear lady. Have a glorious week!


    X

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ron, you have no idea how much I enjoyed reading this post this morning because I've had such a horrible morning. You are hilarious! The parts about the 'happy ending' and 'Daniel Craig' made me laugh so hard!

    I get these emails too, but have never opened them because I'm afraid of getting a virus. I just read the subject box and delete them.

    Thank you for the morning laughs, Ron. Have a wonderful week.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi Ronnie,

    This is a riot! I got to give you credit for answering "Olivia" like a gentleman. You ARE a gent; hands over.
    Then again,I have to give her some credit; she has a lot of guts! E-mails to complete unknown men out in the cyberworld. But of course, you wonder about if she is alone in this enterprise or not... anything is possible out there.

    In Europe(like in North America, I would guess), you sometimes get these "hook and sinker" e-mails from someone in a third world nation telling you a tall story(i.e., My Dad passed on nd waiting to claim his inheritance. In the meanwhile, I have no money. Can you pls advance me until I get my inheritance??). This was one e-mail that we got once...

    Happy Monday and see ya soon.
    xoxo
    P.S. Of course, enquiring minds that we are want to know all about that exotic photo shoot with that hot movie star... Grrrr!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Honestly one of the funniest posts you've shared, Ron!

    "And they would probably even pay you for a "happy ending."

    No doubt!



    Thanks for the laughs, Ron. And please let us know if Olivia responds.

    ReplyDelete
  16. LOL loving your response Ron. I wonder what Olivia made of it? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Bonjour Barb~

    Thank you. I tried to respond as nice as I could to Olivia, but still wanted to make my point - HA!

    " E-mails to complete unknown men out in the cyberworld. But of course, you wonder about if she is alone in this enterprise or not... anything is possible out there."

    Oh, I'm sure she's not alone in this because it probably is an ENTERPRISE in which they have people from all over the world sending out these emails.

    "in a third world nation telling you a tall story(i.e., My Dad passed on nd waiting to claim his inheritance. In the meanwhile, I have no money. Can you pls advance me until I get my inheritance??). This was one e-mail that we got once..."

    Yes! Yes! I got that one too! Also one from someone who asked for my banking account information, so that they could deposit $200, 000 into my account - HA!

    "Of course, enquiring minds that we are want to know all about that exotic photo shoot with that hot movie star... Grrrr!!"



    Yeah, I wish!!!!


    Thanks for stopping by, my friend. Have a glorious week!


    X to you and D!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Good morning Pear~


    Tee, hee! Yes, I'll be sure to let you guys know if she responds.


    However, I will tell you that I got FIVE more of these emails this morning - HA!


    Thanks for stopping by, m'dear! Have a lovely week!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  19. I think it's working! Everything is in correct order of comments and replies! Thank you so much for looking into it for me! XO

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hiya Matt~


    Yes, I will let you know if Olivia responds. Since posting this, I've gotten FIVE more of these emails this morning. All of which had the same message, but used a different name!


    HA!


    Great seeing ya, Matt! Much thanks for stopping by and have a super week!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hola Denise~

    Glad you had a giggle, girl :) Last week when I got this email, I just couldn't resist responding to it.

    "I get these emails too, but have never opened them because I'm afraid of getting a virus. I just read the subject box and delete them."

    I know what you mean because I really don't think we should open them because you never know. My virus protection scans all my emails, so that's the only reason I open them. The only thing I make sure NOT to do, is click on any link that is within the email.

    Thanks for stopping by, Denise. Hope you're day gets better! Have a terrific week!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  22. heehee, you are such a heart-breaker Ron. Poor girl will be crushed I'm sure. Have a fab week Ronnie dear

    (wood lover, lol!!!!)
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  23. Goooood morning Suzi~


    Tee, hee!


    Friday, after I got this email, I just COULD NOT resist posting this.


    Thanks for stopping by, my friend. Have a WONDERFUL week!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hiya Mel~

    "I like WOOD?!*shaking head* She's going to think you're a happy tree hugger, silly!"

    Bwhhahahahhahahhaa! Mel...that was HILARIOUSLY brilliant!!!!!!

    I live you FIVE stars for that comment!!!!!

    " At least she'll know why she's being rejected and tossed to the curb. Probably traumatized the poor thing with a fragile self esteem FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE."

    I know, I feel terrible (NOT) but at least I told her in a "semi-polite" way - HA!

    "Right. I shall now go be depressed. HOW COME I DON'T get spam like everyone else?!

    I need Olivia's email so we can commiserate together, apparently."

    Oh no, PLEASE, you do not want to start getting emails from Olivia and her other girlfriends. Ever since since I posted this today, I've gotten even MORE sexy email spam - ugh!

    Thanks oodles for stopping by, dearest lady. Have a super-duper Monday and week!

    (((((((((( You )))))))))))

    X

    ReplyDelete
  25. Now I hate to burst your bubble Ron (grins) but I too get these emails from women who like my photos and want to meet up and have a fun time.


    I love that you answered her and wonder if she actually received it personally, or if she really exists? I've never heard the expression 'wood' though I don't think it needs explaining ;)



    I haven't worked out the purpose of these emails. Are they purely in the hopes that we will click a link or something? They obviously send them out in bulk, without knowing who they are going to.

    ReplyDelete
  26. This is great! Love your response, Ron. Talk about barking up the wrong tree! Fortunately, you "straightened" her out on the type of wood you prefer. Well done! Reminds me of the way I like to have fun with telemarketers.


    Of course, now you run the risk of her friend OLIVER bombarding your email with an offer to drink red wine together, but I guess you can cross that bridge when you come to it.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Howdy Mark!

    " Fortunately, you "straightened" her out on the type of wood you prefer."

    HAHAHAHHAHAHA! Mark, I always LOVE your play on words! VERY clever you are!!!!

    "Of course, now you run the risk of her friend OLIVER bombarding your email with an offer to drink red wine together, but I guess you can cross that bridge when you come to it."

    You said it, buddy, because I already got FIVE emails this morning (practically all the same as this one), but they used a different internet name. I did this one time before, a couple of years ago, and the same thing happened after I posted it. Oh well...such is the INTERNET.

    Thanks for stopping by! Have a faaaaaaaabulous week!

    X to you and Tara!

    ReplyDelete
  28. well, two things about her "taste"... she has a lovely name and she somewhere along the line found you enough to email you. your response is hysterical but it was your with kisses, handsome that killed me. :) yep, you could certainly help her out i'm sure. she's probably a bag lady of about 63 who obviously has a taste for vodka and god only knows what else. hope you didn't touch it! :) thanks for the share, sweet handsome...come up and see me some where...time. :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. **Ron, you are most kind man me ever no. Hope some day me meet you for shop and some nail polishes. I could want go all over city with you together! **

    I wish I had gone to the restroom prior to reading your post, Ron, because I had to cross my freaken legs! I almost peed my pants!

    Yes, bless Olivia's heart. English is not her first language. I wonder if she's the one who sends me the Viagra emails? lol.

    Great post! Thanks for the giggles. It's also ironic because I have a post about spammers in my comment section! These "people" are worse than ants!

    Have a fantabulous week!

    ((HUGS))

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hello Dear Linda!

    " your response is hysterical but it was your with kisses, handsome that killed me. :)"

    I just COULDN'T resist ending the post with that - HA!

    "she's probably a bag lady of about 63 who obviously has a taste for vodka and god only knows what else. hope you didn't touch it! :)"



    Bwahhaahhahahahaha! You know, I bet you're right. And I bet if she did send me a photo it would be a photograph of someone else!


    Thanks for stopping by, Linda! Hope you had a marvi Monday!


    Enjoy your week!


    (((((((((((( You ))))))))))


    xoxoxoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  31. Hiya Pam~

    "**Ron, you are most kind man me ever no. Hope some day me meet you for shop and some nail polishes. I could want go all over city with you together! **

    Bwhahahahahahaha! OMG...that CRACKED ME UP!!!!! It made me HOWL!

    "Yes, bless Olivia's heart. English is not her first language. I wonder if she's the one who sends me the Viagra emails? lol."

    When I first read her email, I could BARELY understand what she was saying. I had to read it THREE times and VERY slow to figure it out. It felt like I was read some odd cryptic language!

    " These "people" are worse than ants!"



    AMEN!


    Thanks so much for stopping by, my PA friend. Have a fantabulous week!


    ((((( You ))))
    X


    P.S. can you believe the snow we got the other day!?!

    ReplyDelete
  32. why i read this with a southern accent i don't know. i imagined a woman popping gum with a beehive hair-do. wait a minute, isn't that flo from alice? that's who's hitting on you. OMG.


    there's a lot i can say about this post, but i'm gonna be a good girl. we do have something in common. we both like wood-row.

    ReplyDelete
  33. "why i read this with a southern accent i don't know. i imagined a woman popping gum with a beehive hair-do. wait a minute, isn't that flo from alice? that's who's hitting on you."

    Bwhahahahhahahaahaha! OMG, Val....that was HILARIOUS! I'm laughing so hard at your comment right now, my jaw is actually killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!

    How the heck did you hear a "southern" accent out of that?!?!?

    "there's a lot i can say about this post, but i'm gonna be a good girl. we do have something in common. we both like wood-row."

    Bwhahahahahahahhhaha! See, you did it again....HILARIOUS!!!!

    WOOD-ROW!!!!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, girl. And thanks for the laughs!!!!

    Have a super week!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  34. Ron, you never fail to entertain us! I don't know what's funnier, the part about the "happy ending" or I like WOOD. You're a complete riot!


    Keeps us posted if Miss Sayonara contacts you with a personal reply!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Ronnie I have to say I love you! I get spam like this all the time and really have never taken the time to appreciate the humor in it all. I love how the one you shared is clearly from someone who is not well versed in the English language. Now you have me curious, did you ever get a response? I am sure it is probably a mailbox that is manned by a robot or something of that nature but it would be sure fun to read a reply to that! Well done Ronnie, Ronnie 1 point spam nada!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Hey ho Robert~

    Thanks buddy :) When I got this email on Friday, I just KNEW I had to do a post on it. So, I really should be thanking Olivia for the blog fodder - HA!

    "Keeps us posted if Miss Sayonara contacts you with a personal reply!"

    She hasn't contacted me with a personal reply, but I DID receive over FIVE emails today with a similar tone, but different names!

    Thanks for stopping by, Robert. Have a terrific week!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  37. Hiya Shae~

    Aw....love you too, girl!

    (((((((( You ))))))))

    "I get spam like this all the time and really have never taken the time to appreciate the humor in it all."

    I did one other post like this over a year ago and responded to it on my blog. Friday, after I got this one, I just had to do it again. Actually, they are humorous emails when you look at how they write....

    " I love how the one you shared is clearly from someone who is not well versed in the English language."



    See...that's what I mean. They're HILARIOUS!!!


    And no, I didn't get a response from her, but I did get over FIVE emails today with a similar tone; with different names.


    Thanks so much for stopping by, Shae! Always fab to see ya! Have a super-duper week!


    X

    ReplyDelete
  38. My guess is that the emails never come from men because they think that the most likely people to actually respond are heterosexual men to a woman. Because they are desperate? So rather than trying to figure out who is getting the email they just use a shotgun approach. This is also why all the cheap pharmaceutical ads are for Viagra and Cialis.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I LOVED your comment response!!!!

    "they think that the most likely people to actually respond are heterosexual men to a woman. Because they are desperate?"

    HAHAHAHA! Yup...and I bet you're right!

    "This is also why all the cheap pharmaceutical ads are for Viagra and Cialis."

    Exactly!

    Thanks for stopping back......X

    ReplyDelete
  40. You're a heart breaker Ron. Poor little Olivia, she's probably right now drowning her sorrows in a bottle of Stoli.

    But then again, maybe she does need a fashion coordinator and she'll write you back... Riiiiiiiiiight!!!

    Best reply to spam ever. You're a freaking riot!

    ReplyDelete
  41. " Poor little Olivia, she's probably right now drowning her sorrows in a bottle of Stoli."

    Bwhahahahahahahaha! Jeff, that was HYSTERICAL!!!!!

    And the funny thing about this is that I've gotten over FIVE more mails with the same tone, but just a different girls name. In fact, I just this minute deleted one. OMG...what have I gotten myself into??????

    Thanks so much for stopping by, buddy. You ALWAYS crack me up with your comments!

    Have a SUPA week!
    X

    ReplyDelete
  42. Herman TurnipJanuary 28, 2013

    Hey, are you sure it wasn't a man named Olivia? Like a boy named Sue, or Shannon, or Devon, or Alexi, or Jamie? Hey man, you could have just turned down a hot date! Heh...


    But yeah, most likely spam. You did the right thing...


    Now, where can I get me one of them cool Delete keys?

    ReplyDelete
  43. Howdy Herman~

    "are you sure it wasn't a man named Olivia? Like a boy named Sue, or Shannon, or Devon, or Alexi, or Jamie? Hey man, you could have just turned down a hot date!"

    Oh SHIT...I never even thought of that! DAMN...maybe Olivia is a nickname for Oliver - HAHAHAHAHHA!!!!

    "Now, where can I get me one of them cool Delete keys?"

    I thought the SAME THING! Wouldn't it be cool to just hit button on our keyboards without having to use a mouse - DELETE!

    Thanks for stopping by, bud. Have a great week!

    X to you, Karin, and Mr. Tyler!

    P.S. again, your fiction story on you blog today was FAN-FREAKIN'- TASTIC!

    ReplyDelete
  44. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHhHAhHAhHHhHAhHAHh


    That is the SINGLE GREATEST email reply EVER, Ron!!

    I have actual tears running down my cheeks, I am laughing THAT much!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Helloooooooooo Meleah!

    Glad you had a giggle, girl :)

    Don't you just LOVE Olivia? God love her!!!!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my Libra friend. Again, your post today was AWESOME! And thank you for sharing it.

    Have a faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous week!
    X

    ReplyDelete
  46. Jay of The Depp EffectJanuary 29, 2013

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!

    This is absolutely hilarious!!! And I LOVE the picture - it's perfect. You are so clever.

    I love where you tell her that you'd only be any good as a personal shopper/cosmetics advisor. But you should perhaps take a moment to think, before you consign her to the trash can.

    'Olivia' might, in fact, really be a big handsome guy called Baran Aleksandrovitch - which you will, of course, immediately know means 'forceful, virile ram, son of the helper of man'. Or something like that.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Jeanne PursellJanuary 29, 2013

    I LOVE this! Positively LOVE it Ron!!! You should have your own show...it would be such a hit!! OMG!!! Can you even STAND some of the ridiculous notes that run rampant on this wonderful internet of ours??? Personally, I would love to do the whole mani/pedi/Saks thing with you!! xo Jeanne

    ReplyDelete
  48. Good morning Jay~

    "And I LOVE the picture - it's perfect."

    Thank you. And do you know what's funny? Right before I published this post yesterday, I noticed that I had misspelled the word Sayonara when I first made the speech bubble on the graphic, so I had to go back and remake it!!!!

    "I love where you tell her that you'd only be any good as a personal shopper/cosmetics advisor. But you should perhaps take a moment to think, before you consign her to the trash can."

    OMG, you're right, because Olivia could be my very first person shopper/cosmetics client!!!

    "'Olivia' might, in fact, really be a big handsome guy called Baran Aleksandrovitch - which you will, of course, immediately know means 'forceful, virile ram, son of the helper of man'. Or something like that."

    Bwhahahahhaahhahaha! Jay, that was HILARIOUS!!!!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a terrific week!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  49. Helloooooooo there Jeanne~

    Thank you, dear lady. Glad you enjoyed.

    " Can you even STAND some of the ridiculous notes that run rampant on this wonderful internet of ours???"

    UNbelievable, isn't it???? And now that I've shared this post, I'm sure I'll be getting MORE. Olivia must have told her girlfriends, because I just got six more emails this morning - HA!

    "Personally, I would love to do the whole mani/pedi/Saks thing with you!!"



    Oooooo...wouldn't that be FUN??? And we could even take the "girlz" with us and they could get groomed while you and I are having our mani/pedies done!


    Thanks for stopping by this morning, Jeanne! Have a super week!


    X to you and the girlz!

    ReplyDelete
  50. You just got to love all the perverted freaks in this world. Your friend Olivia sounds like a real contender for the misplaced vagina award. Your reply was a riot. Perhaps this person (man or woman) is a lonely individual who needs to visualize any one being with them. Well may I suggest that she go to the zoo and talk to the baboons. That is where she(he) belongs. I do not know what makes people write this S--t, but it does give us something to write about. And I bet her last name in Newton John.


    See you later alligator

    ReplyDelete
  51. Hellooooooooooo Mr. Dave~

    "Your friend Olivia sounds like a real contender for the misplaced vagina award."

    Bwhahahahahahahahaha! That made me HOWL!!!!!! You are HYSTERICAL, man!!!

    Can you BELIEVE the shit these people send in emails??? And I would love to talk to just ONE person who has actually contacted someone like Olivia, just to see what happened!

    "And I bet her last name in Newton John."

    Bwhahahahahahahahaha!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, buddy, and your for sharing your wonderful wit. I so appreciate it! Hope you're having a FANTASTIC week!

    X

    P.S. again, the video tribute you created in honor of your brother was soooooooooooo beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  52. Ron, I just wanted to stop back and read what everyone else shared in their comments. What a riot!

    ReplyDelete
  53. Hey ho Robert!


    Aren't the comments a riot???? To me, the comments are the best part of a blog. Sometimes I will actually go back years in my archives and just read the comments.


    Thanks so much for stopping by back, bud!

    ReplyDelete
  54. I never get email from Olivia! But I do, from time to time, receive pesky messages from an assorted cast of other characters whose messages lead me to believe that English is not their primary language.


    Truth be told, I don't read them anymore at all. Deleting is my favorite part of the email experience in this age of unwanted spam.


    Remember when it used to be fun to check your email?


    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  55. Helloooooooo Diane~

    "I never get email from Olivia!"

    Hey, I'll be glad to forward your email address to her if you want.

    Bwhahhahahhahahaha!

    "But I do, from time to time, receive pesky messages from an assorted cast of other characters whose messages lead me to believe that English is not their primary language."

    OMG...me too. And reading them is like trying decipher some cryptic code.

    " Deleting is my favorite part of the email experience in this age of unwanted spam.

    Remember when it used to be fun to check your email?"

    You said it, girl! Thank god that gmail does a very good job at filtering.

    Thanks so much for stopping by. Hope you had a fabulous week!

    Much X to you and Cristybella!

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  56. I find myself coming back to read the comments on your posts quite often. You have such a wonderfully responsive group of readers here!

    ReplyDelete
  57. Hey Ho Robert~


    I feel very blessed to have the awesome people who stop by and share on my posts. And thank YOU for being one of them, buddy!

    ReplyDelete
  58. Dianne WilsonFebruary 01, 2013

    we should put Olivia together with the guy who keeps sending me e-mails telling me he can "make your cock inches longer"

    ReplyDelete
  59. Bwhahahahahahahhahahahahaha!!!!!


    Dianne....I LOVE YOU, WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    That was FLAWLESS!


    And it's funny you mentioned that because I used to get those emails all the time too, but haven't gotten one in a while. However, now that I just said that, I bet I TEN today in my mail box!


    Thanks for stopping by, dear lady. You always make me LAUGH!!!


    X to you and the gang!

    ReplyDelete
  60. frankly, ronnie, don't know if i commented earlier on this-62 comments is too many to look thru but this again,made me laugh. and i'd love to go have a mani/pedi with you...maybe i'd really actually DO IT!! nothing like a gay man to keep a woman at her best looking. :) you could probably convince me to brave the "green" hair salon too! xoxoxoxxo someday, no?

    ReplyDelete
  61. Helloooooooo Linda!

    "and i'd love to go have a mani/pedi with you...maybe i'd really actually DO IT!! nothing like a gay man to keep a woman at her best looking. :)"

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You said it, girl!!! One of my biggest joys is going shopping with my female friends and helping them pick out makeup, skincare and clothes. I LOVE it!

    " you could probably convince me to brave the "green" hair salon too!"



    We have those here in Philly too, but have never gone to them because I cut my own hair.


    Thanks for stopping by, dear friend!


    (((((( You )))))))


    xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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  62. Helloooooooooo Babs~

    "Now I hate to burst your bubble Ron (grins) but I too get these emails from women who like my photos and want to meet up and have a fun time"

    Oh drats! And here I thought I was 'special' - hahahahahahahhaha!

    Yes, I realize these emails are sent all over the place and to both men and women alike. Like you shared, they obviously must send them out in bulk, without knowing who they are going to; hoping that someone will take them up on their offer.

    " I've never heard the expression 'wood' though I don't think it needs explaining ;)"

    Yes, I'm sure you know what I mean - tee, hee!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a super week!

    X to you and Mo!

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  63. I like WOOD?!
    *shaking head* She's going to think you're a happy tree hugger, silly!


    Oh, the poor girl will be absolutely devastated.


    I do need to give you accolades for responding to the dear. At least she'll know why she's being rejected and tossed to the curb. Probably traumatized the poor thing with a fragile self esteem FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE.


    :-/


    Now, that being said....I'll admit that I don't bother to answer the Viagra emails I get. But then I think I've only gotten 3 or 4 of them in my online-life.


    *sigh*
    Does that say something about me?
    *sigh*
    Right. I shall now go be depressed. HOW COME I DON'T get spam like everyone else?!


    I need Olivia's email so we can commiserate together, apparently.

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  64. GREAT! Thank you so much for letting me know. In fact, I was going to email you later today to ask if you would try it out on your iPad to see if it worked.


    ((((((( You ))))))


    You're a sweetheart!


    XO

    ReplyDelete

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