Friday, January 18, 2013

Word Responsibility


I owe my inspiration for this post to Shae @ C’est La Vie, after I read an honest and intelligent post on her blog about the acceptance speech that Jodie Foster made at the Golden Globes on Sunday.

So thanks, Shae....x

Unfortunately I didn’t see the Golden Globes this year, but was able to catch Foster's speech over at You Tube after I read Shae's post.

Allow me to preface here by saying that this post is not about my feelings on Jodie Foster's speech, but rather about the manner in which many of the comments left by several people were expressed on You Tube.

I don’t know how much time you spend on You Tube, but I spend a lot there, researching video clips for my blog or simply watching episodes of old TV shows that I enjoy. And what continues to shock me are the comments left by individuals that are outright cruel. You know, I often wonder if these same individuals would have the courage to say these things if they didn’t have the Internet to separate them from saying it face to face.

Out of all the places I visit on the Internet, You Tube by far, contains some of the vilest comments I have ever laid eyes on. I’ve read comments over there that have been so hateful, they have literally brought tears to my eyes because I didn’t think anyone could be THAT cruel. And many of these comments were left on videos that had absolutely no controversial theme whatsoever.

The comments were left to be mean.

There have been times when I’ve watched video clips in which someone made a home video of themselves, playing a musical instrument or singing a song, and the comments left below said things like…

“YOU TOTALLY SUCK!”

Or

“Whoever told you that you could sing was DEAF!”

I mean, why would someone choose to say something like that?

Listen, I adore the Internet. But in many ways it has enabled people to carelessly spew their bitter venom, while anonymously hiding behind a screen. I also think that the Internet has slowly begun to numb us to the fact that in spite of all its wonderful assets, if we're not careful, we can forget that we’re talking to real people.

One of the most valuable and important things I have learned from blogging is that written words have POWER – whether they be in an email, a comment, or a blog post.

Words are not something we should carelessly type onto a page without any concern. Words contain energy, which have the ability to make someone FEEL something. They can be used in an honest yet positive way, or they can be used to simply sting.

I am in no way saying that we cannot disagree with what someone else has written. But I feel that we do have an obligation to share our opinions in a conscious manner. There have many times when I have strongly disagreed with someone else’s viewpoint, but I have never expressed my own viewpoint in a nasty or hurtful way.

In the six years that I've been blogging, there have been only a few occasions when a reader has left nasty and hurtful comments here, which I deleted and then requested that they never return to this blog.

Yes, I believe in the freedom of speech and that we all have the right to express our viewpoints honestly, but not at the cost of hurting someone – with no reason other than to be cruel.

So for all those people out there on the Internet, who sit behind their computer screens and spend hours leaving their toxic verbal waste all over cyberspace, I say to you…

Take responsibility for your words, by pausing a moment to read them before you hit the publish button.

And then ask yourself…

If these words were said to me, how would they make me feel?


Wishing you a beautiful weekend everyone!
X

69 Comments:

  1. A proverb that I absolutely love is, "A closed mouth gathers no feet."


    Now I wish I could honestly say I've always followed that simple truth, but alas, I haven't. That said tough, I do try to make a conscience effort to put thought ahead of my mouth.



    Like you eluded to, there are so many people out there that just don't think first, or simply don't give a rip about what they say or do. It flabbergasts me!

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  2. I totally agree with you Ron, Internet Trolls are the vilest people! :(

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  3. 'And then ask yourself…If these words were said to me, how would they make me feel?


    Unfortunately, 'they' won't ask themselves that question. Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube seem to be breeding grounds for nastiness ... it's worrying. Excellent post, Ron, I wish we could spread your sound common-sense to those who want to create Internet havoc.


    We have snow... just saying! Have a terrific weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  4. They must be incomplete people, emotionally, to want to upset others this way. I think they are no more than internet bullies. I think the best thing is to not respond publicly. Just ignore them. They feed off of the argument that their comment starts.

    I had a really nasty comment on my photo blog once. I was shocked and immediately deleted it, then I was sorry I had, because I wished I had responded to it by email.

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  5. There are some truly sick people out there. I think the best thing to do, when personally attacked, is to not acknowledge the comment at all. What these people seek is attention, so don't give it to them. They are just waiting for a response, In order to jump on their next victim. Don't give them the satisfaction!

    Ron, I've seen the nastiness on YouTube, and I think a lot of those comments are immature kids. My kids are on YouTube all the time, so I know it's extremely popular with the jr high and high school crowd, which could explain the ridiculous type of comments, like "you suck!!!" What I find appalling are the local newspaper forums. The responses people give are SO Freakin nasty, and the sad part is, you know it's only adults on there!

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  6. *sigh* I try to remember that they're human beings, struggling in some fashion. And I try to be forgiving and move on. Truth be told, I don't look at the youtube comments, I don't own a facebook or twitter account. And my experience on the web log has been nothing but joyful since inception of the darn thing. *laughing* Maybe I should knock on wood?


    I don't/won't support unloving things.
    It's not who I was made to be--but it was a part of what I did, many moons ago. Hurtful, spiteful, mean--I gave you my opinion because I 'knew' I had a responsibility to. (self appointed--but there you have it) I created a lot of hurt feelings and felt entitled.
    Sometimes I still struggle (as you well know) with that 'loving' stuff. It takes practice and diligence and a huge willingness on my part. But today, I believe 'loving' is the only way to go. I'm pretty sure I won't do that perfectly (darnitall!) but I'm practicing and just saying what's true for me.


    I was a bully, though I would have been hard pressed to believe or agree that's what I was doing. I was just 'sayin' it like it was'. Afterall, someone needed to have the courage to just put it out there. *sigh*


    I get the mentality, and I even understand what motivates it probably isn't even 'seen' by the person doing it. Inflated sense of ego attached to a fragile esteem--feeling good at the expense of others, though most wouldn't agree to that in the midst of their self righteousness. I get it--and it makes me sad. Today I try to compensate for that--probably from a sense of responsibility as a 'once upon a time' offender.


    I don't like it when I read it. I've come to see this medium as a valuable thing in my life and in the lives of others. And it's not like I can say it and undo it, profess that's not what I said/meant and squiggle my way out of it. The words remain even after that moment has passed and the feeling(s) subside, good bad or ugly. There's a record...it's there for eternity--or at least until someone deletes or a web site goes away.


    Make 'em count--cuz they're hanging around for a very long time.
    I get concerned that we're bringing up a whole new culture that deludes themselves of that reality.
    Someone once told me 'sticks and stones'--you know how that one goes. I didn't believe it, though I endorsed it and tried to act like it was true. Bruises go away--the memory of the hurtful words.....notsomuch. And to have them lurking around for eternity in black and white?


    Make what you say.....count.
    Say what you mean without saying it mean.
    Is it necessary, is it kind, is it true--if it ain't all three DON'T SAY IT.
    Learning and using those things have saved me a bazillion times from hurting another human being. That matters to me today.....hugely.
    Now, if it would just matter to the rest of the universe, the world would be a different place.


    Oh.....and thank you for taking care of those mean spirited comments. I've come to rest knowing this is a safe 'community'. I appreciate your efforts to keep it that way when a straggler wanders in and threatens that.
    (((((((((((((((( Ron )))))))))))))))

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  7. You do remember I'm 'the wordy one', yes? LOLOL

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  8. This is why on the rare occasion that I upload video to Youtube, I make it only visible to those I share the link with. They are usually just horse videos anyway. I agree with you on all points. It's terrible what people are willing to say online. We are getting numb to the hateful interactions not only online but in the real world as well. I do think it's a function of technology and over sharing.



    Thanks for your thoughtful and wonderful post that reminds us all to think before we hit enter.

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  9. Rob LenihanJanuary 18, 2013

    Ah, yes, the keyboard commandos! They're so tough, so brave when they're safely typing away in a basement somewhere.

    You're so right, Ron, about how the Internet has "enabled people to carelessly spew their bitter venom, while anonymously hiding behind a screen."

    I can't believe the vile comments people leave on YouTube and other sites--stuff about people's mothers, brutal insults over the most innocuous things.

    I'm trying to train myself to stop looking at the comment sections of various sites. I just want to watch a video or read an article and go my merry way. Let the haters drown in their own puke!

    Great post, buddy! Thanks for speaking out and have a tremendous weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Some individuals have been hurt so much in their lives that they have this terrible need to hurt others. They lash out with anonymity that comes with leaving words on a computer screen. They get this false sense of power when they unleash the words that are written with one purpose in mind; and that is to hurt.
    What they do not realize that the only one they hurt are themselves. For in their nasty way they define themselves as terrible people who in some way have lost the art of Love. These people cause pain, if and only if, the people who read the words of disgust let the words enter and cause harm to their lives.
    When you read the words of some nit-wit send them love and loving energy and pray that they are able to accept the wonders of the world and be one with all (which by the way they are).
    Jodie Foster's words were just what was inside her she wanted the world to know her thoughts at that particular time in her journey nothing more.
    I am sure that someone who reads what I write will say this Guy is full of shit and stinks. To them I say thank you for who else but you is an expert on shit.


    Ron, have a beautiful weekend.

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  11. There are some truly sick people out there. I think the best thing to do, when personally attacked, is to not acknowledge the comment at all. What these people seek is attention, so don't give it to them. They are just waiting for a response, In order to jump on their next victim. Don't give them the satisfaction! Ron, I've seen the nastiness on YouTube, and I think a lot of those comments are immature kids. My kids are on YouTube all the time, so I know it's extremely popular with the jr high and high school crowd, which could explain the ridiculous type of comments, like "you suck!!!" What I find appalling are the local newspaper forums. The responses people give are SO Freakin nasty, and the sad part is, you know it's only adults on there!

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  12. Excellent post, Ron! Yes, I've seen such comments on You Tube before and have been equally appalled by how vile they can be. I've also seen such comments on blogs in which it becomes a comment war. I think some people get off on leaving nasty comments because they know how much they will stir the pot. As you said, the internet is a way for unhappy people to hide behind a screen and spread their unhappiness. I think the best thing to do is just ignore them because if they don't get a response, they lose their power.


    Have a wonderful weekend, Ron.

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  13. Howdy Jeff~

    "Now I wish I could honestly say I've always followed that simple truth, but alas, I haven't. That said tough, I do try to make a conscience effort to put thought ahead of my mouth."

    As I shared, I do feel that we can disagree with what someone else has shared, but like you said.....share it in a conscious manner.

    " there are so many people out there that just don't think first, or simply don't give a rip about what they say or do. It flabbergasts me!"

    Meeeeeeeeee tooooo!

    Thanks for stopping by, buddy. Have a super weekend!

    X

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  14. Good morning Pearl~


    I know, and isn't that sad?


    Fortunately I haven't had too much of that here, but when I have I deleted them without giving a response to their comment, other then..."You are no longer welcomed here."


    Thanks so much for stopping by, m'dear! Have a lovely weekend!


    X

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  15. Good morning Valerie~

    ". Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube seem to be breeding grounds for nastiness ... it's worrying."

    This is one of the reasons why I no longer have accounts with Facebook or Twitter. And on my account with You Tube, I have comments closed so that no one can leave comments. I only use You Tube as a place to host my videos.

    "We have snow... just saying!"



    *jumping up and down*


    Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!! How awesome is that!!! I sure wish we could get some here in the northeast. It's been rainy and cold, but no snow yet :(


    Thank you for stopping by, dear lady. Have a super weekend and enjoy the SNOW!!!


    X

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  16. Hiya Babs~

    "They must be incomplete people, emotionally, to want to upset others this way."

    I think you're absolutely correct.

    " I think the best thing is to not respond publicly. Just ignore them. They feed off of the argument that their comment starts."

    Exactly! There have been times when I wanted to respond to a nasty comment left by someone over at You Tube, but then thought, "Why bother, because it would only add more wood to the fire."

    "I had a really nasty comment on my photo blog once. I was shocked and immediately deleted it, then I was sorry I had, because I wished I had responded to it by email."

    I know exactly how you felt because as I shared, I've had 2-3 nasty comments left on a few of my blog posts years ago. So I deleted them, but left my response in the comment section; telling them to never return. This is one of the reasons why I like Disqus so much because you can allow your regular readers to automatically leave comments, but screen new readers comments before they're published.

    I love the Internet and blogging, but I won't allow this blog to be a place where people can just dump their trash so easily.

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, Babs! Have a fabulous weekend!

    Much X to you and Mo!

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  17. Hey there Jen~

    "This is why on the rare occasion that I upload video to Youtube, I make it only visible to those I share the link with. They are usually just horse videos anyway."

    Good for you, girl!

    I have my You Tube account set up so that it's open for public view because I have to in order for me to import them to my blog posts. However, I have it set up so that the comment section on You Tube is closed.

    "We are getting numb to the hateful interactions not only online but in the real world as well. I do think it's a function of technology and over sharing."



    Very true!


    Thanks so much for stopping by, girl! Have a wonderful weekend!


    X


    P.S. I took a long walk over to Penn yesterday afternoon and snapped some photos. I so thought of you!

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  18. Here there Rob~

    I love it......"the keyboard commandos!"

    Perfect description!

    'I can't believe the vile comments people leave on YouTube and other sites--stuff about people's mothers, brutal insults over the most innocuous things"

    I know, could you just DIE?!? There were a couple of professional blogs that I used to visit but no longer do because MANY of the comments got me so upset, that I wanted to say something about them but realized I would only be added wood to the fire.

    "I'm trying to train myself to stop looking at the comment sections of various sites. I just want to watch a video or read an article and go my merry way. Let the haters drown in their own puke!"



    Yes, that's how I'm getting to be. I'm getting to the point where I just don't want to read the comment section anymore. And it's a shame because comments can be the BEST part of a post - the exchange of opinions.


    Thanks so much for stopping by, buddy. Have a supa' weekend!


    X

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  19. Howdy Dave~

    You hit the nail on the head, buddy....

    "Some individuals have been hurt so much in their lives that they have this terrible need to hurt others. They lash out with anonymity that comes with leaving words on a computer screen. They get this false sense of power when they unleash the words that are written with one purpose in mind; and that is to hurt."

    A false sense of POWER.

    "What they do not realize that the only one they hurt are themselves."

    Ultimately you're right, but there comes a time when these people need to know the damage their words can do to someone else - which is why I felt the need to share this post.

    "I am sure that someone who reads what I write will say this Guy is full of shit and stinks. To them I say thank you for who else but you is an expert on shit."



    HAHAHAHHAHAHA! Dave you crack me up! And you're not full of shit at all. You speak words of wisdom.


    Thanks for stopping by, my friend. Have a terrific weekend!


    X

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  20. Good morning Bijoux~

    " I think the best thing to do, when personally attacked, is to not acknowledge the comment at all. What these people seek is attention, so don't give it to them. They are just waiting for a response, In order to jump on their next victim. Don't give them the satisfaction!"

    Amen, girl....don't respond!

    "Ron, I've seen the nastiness on YouTube, and I think a lot of those comments are immature kids. My kids are on YouTube all the time, so I know it's extremely popular with the jr high and high school crowd, which could explain the ridiculous type of comments, like "you suck!!!"

    You're right, you can sometimes tell that the comments are written by kids. And as someone who was verbally bullied in school, I'm aware of how kids can be.

    " What I find appalling are the local newspaper forums. The responses people give are SO Freakin nasty, and the sad part is, you know it's only adults on there!"



    Yes, it is sad, isn't it? I've read several online forums myself and have been shocked by many of the comments :O


    Thank you for stopping by and sharing on this post, my friend. Have a terrific weekend!


    X

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  21. I did not see/hear Jodie's speech, but I've always thought she was a great actress and have tremendous respect for her as a person. I dislike that people can be so cruel. Why people try to hurt others like that is beyond me. I haven't explored comments on youtube but I have on articles etc...and am often dismayed at the things people feel necessary to say. I do think there are many people who try to build themselves up by putting others down; sad but true.

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  22. I agree with you 100% - people should REALLY think about other peoples feelings BEFORE they hit publish.

    YouTube TRULY has the meanest and nastiest comments, on all of the Internet. I learned a long time ago, NEVER to read the comments over there, because they are so upsetting. I watch whatever video I came to see and quickly leave.

    I've often wondered if those cruel people behave or talk like that in real life, or of they are just acting that way on the Internet because they can hide anonymously.

    I've also had to delete comments from my own YouTube videos, Facebook, and my blog. I'm a big fan of ignore, delete, and block…. because I am not getting into some kind of online argument with the crazies.

    Great post, Ron!

    XOXO

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  23. Hola Denise~

    " I've also seen such comments on blogs in which it becomes a comment war."



    OMG...me too! And what totally blows me away is that the comments often move in a direction that have nothing to do with the post topic. In that case, I think it's up to the blog owner to keep the topic ON topic, and I either ignore or delete the comments that obviously come from people who have personal issues and just want to be nasty.


    Thanks so much for stopping by, girl. Have a wonderful weekend too!

    X

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  24. Hey there Suzi~

    "I did not see/hear Jodie's speech, but I've always thought she was a great actress and have tremendous respect for her as a person."

    I feel the same way about Jodie Foster, but realize that not everyone feels the same as you or I. But I still think that they can voice their opinion (and honestly) without being cruel or nasty about it.

    "I haven't explored comments on youtube but I have on articles etc...and am often dismayed at the things people feel necessary to say."

    Doesn't that just blow you away??!?!

    " I do think there are many people who try to build themselves up by putting others down; sad but true."



    A-MEN!


    Much thanks for stopping by, Suzi! Have a terrific weekend, my friend!


    X

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  25. so much to say, so little time. i'll keep it simple. people are cruel and say mean things because they are not face to face with another individual. some no longer feel anything and the sad part is they do not care. we are a desensitized group of people because we don't have to be face to face with anyone to say what we feel. there are times when i think mean things about the stuff i see on the net or even toward people, BUT we all have a choice. we can choose to be mean, angry, hateful and evil and post nasty stuff or we can show compassion and just walk away. if we have nothing good to say, i'm all for not saying anything. why hurt people on purpose. i don't get it. we make mistakes, been there, but we know better and we have choices. we can choose to turn the other cheek. walk away. don't like something, leave or just shut up. silence is golden.


    treat people the way you would want to be treated. it's simple but hard to do.


    makes me not like people. what is wrong with us? seriously. O->-< and i'm going in my bubble for a few days so i can cope with living in this world. bye ron.

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  26. Right on, Ron! I totally agree. People who hide behind their words anonymously don't deserve the right to spew their vitriolic opinions in the first place, in my opinion. I believe you can and should be allowed to say whatever you want, so long as you have the decency and courage to stand behind your remarks.


    Then again, Joey did SUCK on the tambourine. I mean, come on...


    Have a great weekend!

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  27. Hiya Mel~

    " I try to remember that they're human beings, struggling in some fashion. And I try to be forgiving and move on."

    Yes, but I feel there comes a time when these people need to be told that what they're doing is hurtful. Forgiving is a wonderful thing, but not if someone keeps doing it over and over.

    "And my experience on the web log has been nothing but joyful since inception of the darn thing. *laughing* Maybe I should knock on wood?"

    Same here, on the whole, my experience on the web (and on this blog) has been overall joyful and totally AWESOME!

    "I get the mentality, and I even understand what motivates it probably isn't even 'seen' by the person doing it. Inflated sense of ego attached to a fragile esteem--feeling good at the expense of others, though most wouldn't agree to that in the midst of their self righteousness. I get it--and it makes me sad. Today I try to compensate for that--probably from a sense of responsibility as a 'once upon a time' offender."

    Amen, Mel! But at least you learned something from that and took responsibility. THAT's what I mean....taking responsibility for our words.

    " And it's not like I can say it and undo it, profess that's not what I said/meant and squiggle my way out of it. The words remain even after that moment has passed and the feeling(s) subside, good bad or ugly. There's a record...it's there for eternity--or at least until someone deletes or a web site goes away."

    Exactly, whatever we put out there, stays there forever.

    "Make what you say.....count.

    Say what you mean without saying it mean.

    Is it necessary, is it kind, is it true--if it ain't all three DON'T SAY IT."

    Amen!

    We all at one time or another have expressed our words in 'not the best way' in anger, but the deal is to learn from doing that and say it next time....consciously.

    "Oh.....and thank you for taking care of those mean spirited comments. I've come to rest knowing this is a safe 'community'. I appreciate your efforts to keep it that way when a straggler wanders in and threatens that."

    People have the right to say whatever they wish in response to my posts, but not if it's said in meanness.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts and feelings, dear lady. Always enjoyed and appreciated!

    Have a grrrrrrrrrreat weekend!

    X

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  28. Bwhahahahahahhahaha!


    I LOVE your words, Mel!


    (((((((( You ))))))))

    X

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  29. Hey there V Girl~

    " some no longer feel anything and the sad part is they do not care. we are a desensitized group of people because we don't have to be face to face with anyone to say what we feel."

    THANK. YOU.!!!!! And as I shared, I love the Internet and all the advanced technology that has been developed over the past years, but to a certain extent it has 'desensitized' us because we can say whatever we want without being face to face.

    "BUT we all have a choice. we can choose to be mean, angry, hateful and evil and post nasty stuff or we can show compassion and just walk away. if we have nothing good to say, i'm all for not saying anything. why hurt people on purpose. i don't get it."

    Bingo...we have a choice. I'm the same, if I can't figure out something to say in response to a blog post that I feel passionately in opposition with ( and not say it consciously) I won't leave a comment.

    "treat people the way you would want to be treated. it's simple but hard to do."

    Yup!

    "i'm going in my bubble for a few days so i can cope with living in this world. bye ron."

    Bye Val...and have a SUPER time this weekend!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, girl!

    X

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  30. Hey there Meleah~

    "YouTube TRULY has the meanest and nastiest comments, on all of the Internet. I learned a long time ago, NEVER to read the comments over there, because they are so upsetting. I watch whatever video I came to see and quickly leave."

    Yes, that's what I need to start doing because too many of those comments are upsetting to me.

    "I've often wondered if those cruel people behave or talk like that in real life, or of they are just acting that way on the Internet because they can hide anonymously."

    Meeeeeeeeee too! I think probably many of them do it because they can anonymously hide. I used to blog with a guy who was as nice as pie on HIS blog, however, whenever he responded to posts left on other people's blogs, they had the most intense STING to them. He was one of the people who I requested to never return to my blog.

    " I'm a big fan of ignore, delete, and block…. because I am not getting into some kind of online argument with the crazies."



    Amen! I have my You Tube account set up so that comments are closed because I'm not really interested in socializing over there, but primarily because of the nasty comments I see on other videos.


    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, girl. Have a faaaaaaaabulous weekend!


    Hope you're well and feeling better!


    ((((((( You ))))))


    X

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  31. Hi Ronnie,

    How are ya, sweetie?

    I am in very strong agreement to you about these types of comments;I am not a big you tube user but I so know the cruelty of the comments. What good is this, anyway?? It is often just for the sake of being mean.

    Ok; we can't all like the same things or have the same opinions( I won't even go on the political videos...) but, try and be civil about this. And if you can't, just leave. I don't need it...

    Big hugs,
    xox
    P.S. We have snow here today...

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  32. Hellooooooooo Mark~

    " I believe you can and should be allowed to say whatever you want, so long as you have the decency and courage to stand behind your remarks."

    *clapping*

    Amen!

    And I also agree that people don't deserve the right to spew their vitriolic opinions in the first place. Which is why I passionately felt the need to share this post.

    " Then again, Joey did SUCK on the tambourine. I mean, come on..."



    Bwhahahahhahhahahaa! Mark, I LOVE your sense of humor, buddy!


    Thanks a bunch for stopping by. Have a faaaaaaaaaaaabulous weekend!


    X to you and Tara!

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  33. Bonjour Barb~

    I'm faaaaaabulous, how are you? I am soooooooooo enjoying this month off :)

    ";I am not a big you tube user but I so know the cruelty of the comments. What good is this, anyway?? It is often just for the sake of being mean."

    Yes, that's primarily how those comments are expressed...just to be mean.

    "Ok; we can't all like the same things or have the same opinions( I won't even go on the political videos...) but, try and be civil about this. And if you can't, just leave. I don't need it..."



    Exactly, we can't ALL agree on the same things, but there is a way to say what you feel without it being attacking or cruel. Politics and religion are two areas where I don't usually go on this blog because it's a very touchy point for many people. I learned that from being a hairstylist for so many years. You don't talk to clients about politics or religion. The end.


    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Yes!!!! I heard from many of the people I blog with who live in certain areas of Europe that you got SNOW! And OMG...I'm so envious because we've gotten hardly any this year so far. So blow some of that snow my way, okay?


    X to you and D!


    ((((( You and D ))))

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  34. Ron, seriously.

    DO NOT READ the comments anymore.
    It will make your YouTube experience MUCH more enjoyable!

    Also, people who are THAT mean on the internet, only do it because they can get away with it.
    Cowards, I tell ya. Cowards.

    My comments have to be "approved" on YouTube, as to avoid any and all assholes!

    I hope you have a lovely weekend too, my darling friend.

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  35. hi dear ron...is it really 6 years? isn't that something. i consider you one of the best treasures of my years blogging. thank you, my kind friend.


    this post is needed more than, in my opinion, ever before because i too am noticing some of the vile things being put "out there" just because they could. i cannot watch many videos due to my BW restrictions but the few times i do, i do read those comments and usually end up giving up and not even wanting to look! that's how vile, mean, despicable and senseless they can be. it makes no sense at all except to hurt the creator of whatever the video is about. no sense except to hurt...


    to me, you and i are having a conversation. it makes no difference if there's a screen on which i type these words. i know you will see them and take them into your heart and mind. we forget this, i think. we live in a world today that feels almost antiseptic, we don't actually touch like we once did, hug, look into the other's eyes. it is the unfortunate side of an online world. we never really see each other in "real life". but then what is that? it is my words to you. yours to me. i don't see any difference but i suspect that younger people are losing touch with the reality of what they are doing.



    i don't have any answers but am glad you wrote this post. it needs to be said more often. we have both experienced hurtful things via this way of communicating and choose to continue because it gives meaning to our lives, we have formed relationships and friendships, learned from one another and grow from touching each others' lives. it is a medium that has so many rich possibilities for humanity. unfortunately it also has the potential to destroy, hurt, tear apart and create chaos.



    time will tell how things turn out... but i will never regret my time spent here and on other blogs and websites that have touched me, taught me and continue to add to the good energy of our world. thank you, my dear. you are one of the blessings in my life. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  36. "DO NOT READ the comments anymore.It will make your YouTube experience MUCH more enjoyable!"


    Will do, girl. And you're right, because after reading those comments it took all the joy out of watching the video clip of Foster's speech.


    "Also, people who are THAT mean on the internet, only do it because they can get away with it.Cowards, I tell ya. Cowards."


    Cowards indeed!


    "My comments have to be "approved" on YouTube, as to avoid any and all assholes!"


    Good for you!


    Isn't the weather faaaaaaabulous today? I hope it stays that way because I'm planning a little out-of-town day trip to the burbs tomorrow.

    X

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  37. I have no respect for people who hide behind virtual anonymity and spew hate. It's inexcusable. Even when you disagree, you can do so with civility. And if it's just a matter of not liking a singer's voice or whatever, go away. Keep it to yourself. How does it help to insult someone?


    I have had, like you, a couple of really nasty people drop in to lob unprovoked attacks. I did the same thing - deleted them and banned them. I feel like my blog is my community and I only want people who can be positive here. I don't mean they have to agree with every opinion - I welcome friendly dissent. But the key word is friendly. And, as a consequence, I've developed an amazing support network that I treasure.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Sabi SunshineJanuary 18, 2013

    I agree that we have to be really careful with the wording. Most importantly we have to know how to control our anger. I personally think, wording has to do a lot with the anger, if you are not angry , your wording will not be that aggressive.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Greetings Sabi~

    " Most importantly we have to know how to control our anger. I personally think, wording has to do a lot with the anger, if you are not angry , your wording will not be that aggressive."

    Excellent point!

    And to be totally honest, I can sometimes initially react to things in an angry way. But what blogging has taught me is that if I take a few moments to "pause" before I react with my comment, I can say what I wish to say without it being overly aggressive or stinging.

    Always a joy to see you here, Sabi. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your comment.

    Have a lovely weekend!
    X

    ReplyDelete
  40. Hello Secret Agent Woman~

    " Even when you disagree, you can do so with civility. And if it's just a matter of not liking a singer's voice or whatever, go away. Keep it to yourself. How does it help to insult someone?"

    Exactly! Like you shared, we can disagree, but can do so with civility.

    " I feel like my blog is my community and I only want people who can be positive here. I don't mean they have to agree with every opinion - I welcome friendly dissent. But the key word is friendly. And, as a consequence, I've developed an amazing support network that I treasure."



    I so love how you said that because that's how I feel about my blog, it's a community. We don't always have to agree on everything, but can welcome friendly dissent. And you're right, the support network that comes from blogging is a TREASURE!


    Much thanks for stopping by and sharing your input on this post, girl!


    Have a maaaaavelous weekend!

    X

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  41. Hellooooooo Linda~

    Yes, can you believe it? I started this blog in 2007 - six years ago!

    And you and I have been blogging together now for 4-5 of those years.

    (((((( You )))))))

    "that's how vile, mean, despicable and senseless they can be. it makes no sense at all except to hurt the creator of whatever the video is about. no sense except to hurt..."

    Yes, it totally makes no sense other than to hurt.

    "we forget this, i think. we live in a world today that feels almost antiseptic, we don't actually touch like we once did, hug, look into the other's eyes. it is the unfortunate side of an online world. we never really see each other in "real life". but then what is that? it is my words to you. yours to me. i don't see any difference but i suspect that younger people are losing touch with the reality of what they are doing."

    Are are sooooooooooooo right! We live in a world today that feels almost antiseptic (that's the perfect word). Like I shared, I think advanced technology is awesome, as long we don't forget to take time to have REAL human contact too. And you're right, I think some of the younger generation has lost that because the only way they know how to communicate is through technology.

    For people like you and I and others here, we don't see any difference in whether were communicating our thoughts online or offline, because they are MORE than just words - they're feelings. But many people see them as only something they type out and hit the publish button, as if the words mean nothing.

    "we have both experienced hurtful things via this way of communicating and choose to continue because it gives meaning to our lives, we have formed relationships and friendships, learned from one another and grow from touching each others' lives."



    Yes, I will never regret or stop communicating through this medium because it has brought much more JOY into my life than HURT.


    I mean, look at all the AWESOME people I've met through blogging, and who are people I seriously consider GOOD friends.


    Like YOU!


    ((((((( You )))))))


    Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, dear lady. You too are a blessing in my life!


    Have a beautiful weekend!


    xooxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
  42. Oh that sounds fabulous! Enjoy!!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Ron, this is really a wonderful post because you spoke your mind passionately, but you said it intelligently and without anger.

    I do think we can not see eye to eye with each other on certain things and share our disagreement, but there are ways of doing it with consciousness. The internet is a wonderful thing, yet it can also be a place of damage if we don't chose our words wisely.


    I love the way you ended this post!

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  44. Hey Ho Robert!

    Thanks, buddy. After I read Shae's post and then went over to You Tube and read the comments, I felt VERY passionate about writing this. It's actually a topic I've been wanting to write about for a while, so this was the perfect time. Comments are such an important part of the Internet, so I think we need to FEEL before we write them.

    "The internet is a wonderful thing, yet it can also be a place of damage if we don't chose our words wisely."

    You said it....choose our words wisely!

    Much thanks for stopping by and have fantabulous weekend!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  45. I don't understand the thought process behind the comments that you talk about. I have seen them as well; horribly negative and downright nasty sentiments. As you said, they are put out there to deliberately hurt with no regard to other people's feelings.

    Words ARE powerful things Ron and yours are noted by me today. I hope only thoughtful ones reach you. Peace to you my friend

    ReplyDelete
  46. Hiya Katherine~

    "I don't understand the thought process behind the comments that you talk about."

    I don't either. I mean they are obviously meant to hurt, by people who have either been hurt themselves and then lash out to others, or people who are just on some power trip because they know they can't be seen. Either way, it's inexcusable and needs to be addressed.



    Thanks oodles for stopping by, my friend. Hope you're enjoying your winter in Canada and are getting some snow, because we here in PA have had none :(


    Have a super weekend......X

    ReplyDelete
  47. Hey Ronnie! You gave me a shout out?!?! I am flattered! I love that I am an inspiration for one of your posts. You are by far my best blogging friend in this blogosphere :)

    As for the comments you have been discussing, I could not agree more. Half the time I have to skip over the comments because it takes away from the videos I watch. The things people say on there absolutely floors me. This goes into the whole cyber bullying thing which really has an affect on people. I think people need to realize that what they are saying can truly hurt a person just like it would hurt if it was said straight to their face.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Dianne WilsonJanuary 18, 2013

    some people find power in being anonymous
    sad but true

    ReplyDelete
  49. *waving from Philly*

    Hi Shae!!!!!!

    Yes, my friend, I gave you a shout out because your post moved me so much when I read it the other day, that I just had to share it. You spoke so honestly and you spoke it with INTELLIGENCE. And then after I read those comments over at You Tube about Jodie Fosters's speech, I had to share my feelings because it really bothered me.

    So thank YOU, because if it wasn't for your post I wouldn't have had THIS post.

    " I think people need to realize that what they are saying can truly hurt a person just like it would hurt if it was said straight to their face.'

    Exactly! And it's gotten to the point where people forget that they're talking to REAL people with real FEELINGS.

    Thanks again for your inspiration and sweet words. I'm so glad that we met here in blogland!

    ((((((( You ))))))

    Have a great weekend.....X

    ReplyDelete
  50. Hi Lady Di~

    "some people find power in being anonymous"



    How TRUE that is!


    Thanks for stopping by, dear lady. Enjoy your weekend!


    X and hugs to you, Hope, Siren, and Isadora!

    ReplyDelete
  51. Jay of The Depp EffectJanuary 19, 2013

    Oh, how true this is! I cannot believe just how hateful some of the comments on YouTube are, and many times the 'conversation' in the comments section has prevented me from leaving a comment of my own, because I didn't want my own words buried in venom. I didn't want to be a part of it, however innocent.


    You're absolutely right. Not many of these internet thugs would have the courage to say those things to someone's face. You're also right that they themselves can't take it. The reason that I lost some friends in a forum I was running was that someone did that to me in a private message (very cleverly, so our mutual friends could not see what she had done) but then blew a gasket when I responded bluntly and defended myself. I was not rude (as she had been), I didn't not use personal insults (as she had done), I did not swear at her (as she had sworn most vilely to me), I just stated my case with no sugar coating. She then spread her poison to people we both knew and some believed her. It was all very sad.


    Like you, I have always chosen my words on the internet very carefully, and have never hidden behind anonymity to be hateful or aggressive to people, but I've now been the victim twice. It is - to me - quite literally shocking. And extremely upsetting. I'd guess that's why they do it, simply to get a reaction. Their lives must be seriously lacking something.

    ReplyDelete
  52. I came back to read comments this morning--and something came to mind "Better to be wanted for murder than not to be wanted at all". Poor, empty, shallow people ya know?
    I adored Dave's comment, btw. He's spot on, in my book. And I need to clarify--because I'm not the passive, sit in the corner, not open my mouth and challenge stuff kinda person. For sure I'd be saying something to the offenders. And sure as heck I'd be flooded with endearing comments (HA) and virus sending emails. Again, 'better to be wanted for murder than not to be wanted at all'. *shaking head*



    Even if the adults (or kiddos) can't/won't play well with others, doesn't the 'owner' of the website have a responsibility to their site? Don't they have the power to 'delete/ignore/block'? And what a bout the responsibility of the host?
    Ha.....see, I've had a cup of coffee! (or six)
    I hear a lot of things about Blogger--but one of the things I think is 'responsible' on their part is the addition of a button to mark a web site for their review/tagging with a warning.
    As long as we're talking 'responsibility'.......... aren't we ALL responsible?


    Oh......I do hope you're enjoying that time from the work site and having wonderful adventures! I have time from the work site too! NOTsomuch enjoying the 'adventure'.....LOL JUST sayin'!
    ((((((((( Ron ))))))))))

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  53. Ron, You are so on point here. I think the anonymity of the Internet has given people the sense that they can say anything. The technology has enabled people's mean words to spread faster than they have in the past. My sixth grade teacher told us something once. Imagine that a rumor is like a bag of feathers, once you let them go, they scatter in the wind and can never all be collected again. That visual has stayed with me all these years.


    I wrote a piece on the huffpo about Jodie Foster's speech because I read all of those nasty things and felt like someone should defend her, so I did. Guess what? I got some nasty comments too. But, I'm used to them. They reflect more about the commenter than they do me.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Hey there Bill~

    "Imagine that a rumor is like a bag of feathers, once you let them go, they scatter in the wind and can never all be collected again. That visual has stayed with me all these years."

    That is sooooooooooooo poignantly beautiful!!!! Thank you for sharing that.

    And kudos to you for writing a piece over at huffpo about Jodie Foster's speech! I will have to go over there sometime this weekend and read it.

    "Guess what? I got some nasty comments too. But, I'm used to them. They reflect more about the commenter than they do me."

    Amen! And you're absolutely right, those type of comments do reflect more about the commenter.

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by and sharing on this post, buddy. You've added much!

    Enjoy your weekend!

    X to you and Paul!

    ReplyDelete
  55. Hiya Jay~

    " many times the 'conversation' in the comments section has prevented me from leaving a comment of my own, because I didn't want my own words buried in venom. I didn't want to be a part of it, however innocent."

    Same here. Plus some of those comments seem like they come from very scary and vindictive individuals.

    " I just stated my case with no sugar coating. She then spread her poison to people we both knew and some believed her. It was all very sad."

    WOW...what an experience!!! But I APPLAUD you for responding to her in the manner in which you did because you know that you spoke up, but did it honestly, yet consciously. You're right, some people can dish it out, but they can't take it if you speak up for yourself by responding back.

    "I'd guess that's why they do it, simply to get a reaction. Their lives must be seriously lacking something."



    I agree. And the Internet provides those people with the perfect place to do this without being face to face.


    I can't thank you enough for stopping by and sharing on this post, my friend. Muchly appreciated and respected!


    Have a super weekend......X

    ReplyDelete
  56. " "Better to be wanted for murder than not to be wanted at all". Poor, empty, shallow people ya know?"

    LOVE that, Mel! I've never heard that saying before, but it's perfect for this post topic. I gotta remember that one!

    "I adored Dave's comment, btw. He's spot on, in my book.'

    Didn't you just love Dave's comment? He's a very wise and very humorous gentleman who I've been blogging with since I had my first blog back in 2006. He is also a Reiki practitioner.

    "And I need to clarify--because I'm not the passive, sit in the corner, not open my mouth and challenge stuff kinda person. For sure I'd be saying something to the offenders."

    Yup, I know that you're not the passive kinda person. After all, we're both LIBRA'S, therefore we cannot NOT open our mouths and speak up, right? HA!

    "Even if the adults (or kiddos) can't/won't play well with others, doesn't the 'owner' of the website have a responsibility to their site? Don't they have the power to 'delete/ignore/block'? And what a bout the responsibility of the host?"

    Honestly? I really don't think these type of websites/hosts read the comments below the videos. It's more up to the person who posted the video to delete them. Which they sometimes do, but sometimes there are so many, that they can't delete them fast enough so that other people can't view them. I think the only time the host would get involved is if a commenter made some sort of threat.

    "Oh......I do hope you're enjoying that time from the work site and having wonderful adventures!"



    Yes, I just got in from having a wonderful day trip, out to the burbs. It really felt wonderful to just get out of the city for the day.


    Thanks for stopping back, dear lady. I always enjoy reading your comments!


    ((((((( You ))))))


    X

    ReplyDelete
  57. You go, dude! Well spoken post, Ron!

    There was a forum I used to take part in years ago, and quite often the comments would get very volatile to the point where people were name calling and being hostile. I finally had enough and deleted my account.



    There is no reason why people can't agree to disagree and do it in a way that's civilized. I've read similar comments to what you shared about on You Tube so I know what you mean. The internet is a very powerful tool, but it can also be used for all the wrong kind of power.


    Trolls.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Hiya Matt~

    "There was a forum I used to take part in years ago, and quite often the comments would get very volatile to the point where people were name calling and being hostile."

    I've never belonged to a forum myself, but I've accidentally found them while googling for something and some of the comments I read on them were pretty VOCAL, so I know what you mean.

    "There is no reason why people can't agree to disagree and do it in a way that's civilized."

    I agree. I know that certain topics really bring out people's passionate feelings about them, but OMG...some people respond in such insulting and nasty ways.

    "The internet is a very powerful tool, but it can also be used for all the wrong kind of power.

    Trolls."

    Amen! Great seeing ya, bud. Mucho thanks for dropping by. Hope you're having a great weekend!
    X

    ReplyDelete
  59. Herman TurnipJanuary 20, 2013

    Well said! I've been lucky so far with my blog as well. Over the years I've received just a few unkind words from complete strangers. No biggie. I just delete 'em and forget 'em. It's amazing how thick your skin can get when you've been on the internet since day one.

    I'm not sure if you're a fan of Penny Arcade, but here's a quick link that sums up what anonymity + the internet equals:

    http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19

    Not sure if I've forwarded this to you before, but it still rings true! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  60. Howdy Herman~

    "Over the years I've received just a few unkind words from complete strangers. No biggie. I just delete 'em and forget 'em. It's amazing how thick your skin can get when you've been on the internet since day one."



    Good for you, buddy!


    And thank you! thank you! thank you! for sharing that link to Penny-Arcade. OMG...it was brilliantly HILARIOUS!!!! I bookmarked it so I can go back and read again!


    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, my friend. Hope you and the family had an awesome weekend!


    X to you, Karin, and Mr. Tyler!

    ReplyDelete
  61. Ron, when I started blogging over 5 years ago it was politically. And let me tell you, some of those people were vicious. I have my beliefs and no one's going to change them and I had no intention of trying to change anyone else's either. But I decided that I would be polite and respectful of EVERYONE, regardless of political affiliation.


    Well, there were people, own my OWN side, no less, who got so vile and ruthless because I was respectful of Liberals...oh the horror! And because I'm an independent thinker who didn't tote the "talking points" of radio talk-show hosts, they tried to ban me, threaten me, etc., etc.


    It got to the point where I didn't even want to open my emails. But I stuck it out and eventually they went away. But during that awful time, I had a lot of Liberals who rallied to my side. It was really great. It showed that we could have different view points but like each other as HUMAN BEINGS. I made some great friends.


    My motto back then and still is: We can disagree with dignity. I stick to it and will, forever. There is no reason to be crude or rude. We are people even though you can't SEE us.


    Great post. I hope parents teach their children these things because the internet isn't going anywhere and "children" need to learn these "manners" now. Kind of like when we were young learning how to pencil a Dear and Thank you letter.


    ((HUGS))

    ReplyDelete
  62. Helloooooooooo Pam!!

    I ADORE your comment because you shared so openly and honestly, while hitting on some awesome points!

    "I have my beliefs and no one's going to change them and I had no intention of trying to change anyone else's either."

    Exactly! I think we all have the right to have our own opinions and share them, while allowing other to share theirs WITHOUT trying to pull people to our sides. That's what makes blogging so interesting - people coming together in community and sharing!

    It was sooooooooo interesting to read about your experience and then having the Liberals rally to your side in support AND then made great friends!

    "We can disagree with dignity. I stick to it and will, forever. There is no reason to be crude or rude. We are people even though you can't SEE us."

    Amen and Halleluiah! Beautifully stated!

    " I hope parents teach their children these things because the internet isn't going anywhere and "children" need to learn these "manners" now. Kind of like when we were young learning how to pencil a Dear and Thank you letter."

    Amen to that too! My worry about some of the children today are that they learn to communicate via technology, therefore, it's easy for them to forget that they're talking to REAL people.

    Thanks oodles for stopping by, my friend! Hope you had a super weekend and week ahead of you!

    (((((((( You ))))))))

    X

    ReplyDelete
  63. This brought to mind a recent post I put up on Facebook. I had received a compliment from a stranger and thought it was funny and cute so I shared it but the first comment I got was really mean. My friend (and he is a real life friend) commented that the person who complimented me was either blind or drunk. Something like that anyway. I know he was kidding, but it still did hurt a bit. And then someone else seconded what he said and someone else laughed. Sheesh, so much for the compliment. lol I played along though, all in fun, and made my own comments, but it could have been more positive.



    So I totally agree, even if in disagreement with something someone writes or says, be conscious about the comment or reply. Just makes for a nicer world. :)


    i didn't see much more than a few seconds of the Jodie Foster speech so I can't comment about that. I do like her overall. Silence of the Lambs has been running on one of the cable stations so I caught a few minutes of that movie. Scary! They were both so good in that.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Hiya Mary!

    "Something like that anyway. I know he was kidding, but it still did hurt a bit. And then someone else seconded what he said and someone else laughed."

    See!!! That's exactly what I'm referring to, why would someone (and a FRIEND of yours to boot), say something like that? Even in jest. People don't THINK before they hit the publish button. And these are probably the same people who would get very defensive if you said something like that to them.

    "i didn't see much more than a few seconds of the Jodie Foster speech so I can't comment about that. I do like her overall."



    Yes, I like her too. Silence of the Lambs was faaaaaabulous! I didn't see the Golden Globe show, but I did catch her speech on You Tube. I really don't want to comment on it on this post because I want to stay on topic, but I may post something about my feelings on it later this month.


    Thanks so much for stopping by, neighbor! I just got back from grocery shopping and it was SNOWING. Yaaaaaaaaaaay!!!


    X

    ReplyDelete
  65. wholeheartedly agree. I concur with the notion that we are responsible for the energy we project into the world and cannot expect to receive positive energy if we constantly project negative.

    I feel for Jodie Foster, mainly because she is very private about her family life and it's clearly something she's not comfortable discussing on broadcast television. I'm pretty sure I'd not be very comfortable discussing my personal affairs on tv either.

    nice post, very thoughtful! xo, diane

    ReplyDelete
  66. AMEN. AMEN. AMEN.


    And this goes for driving. Just because you are behind the wheel of a car... it doesn't mean you can drive aggressively!


    Ron, what has happened to this world?!?!

    ReplyDelete
  67. Hey there Katherine!

    "Just because you are behind the wheel of a car... it doesn't mean you can drive aggressively!"

    THANK YOU! And that's one of the main reason why do not miss driving!!!

    What has happened to this word, is right!

    Thanks for stopping by, girl. Hope you had a great weekend!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  68. Hey there Diane~

    Great seeing ya, girl!

    ". I concur with the notion that we are responsible for the energy we project into the world and cannot expect to receive positive energy if we constantly project negative.'

    Aaaaaaaaamen! What we put out, comes back to us!

    "I feel for Jodie Foster, mainly because she is very private about her family life and it's clearly something she's not comfortable discussing on broadcast television."



    Exactly. And as an actress, she doesn't owe the public anything except her acting.


    Thanks so much for stopping by, Diane. You have been in my thoughts this past week; hoping that all is well with your mother.


    Much X to you and Cristybella!

    ReplyDelete

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