Why is it that many of us have a resistance to receiving and allowing others to do for us?
Sure, we can give and do for others, but when it comes time for reciprocation, we say, “Oh no, that’s okay…I don't really need help. But thank you.”
It may be because we don’t want to feel obligated.
It may be pride, because we don’t want to appear needy.
And it may be for another reason not realized by us.
I am sharing this post today because once again, I've been reflecting on my mother and recalling certain things she learned through her illness; leaving me with those lessons.
My mother forever reached out to others in time of need; whether it was financially; to do someone a favor like, feeding and walking their dog; or to just be an ear and listen.
She was a huge advocate for charity. And she just didn’t talk about it, she walked the talk.
My mother was also someone who, regardless of how she might have been treated by others in the past, would always forgive and come to their aid whenever they needed something.
She was a hell of a lot more forgiving than I am.
She lived what she believed spiritually, to have compassion for people’s faults.
Yes, she lived what she believed in her heart.
To give, to just give.
Now to be honest, my mother was also a stubborn individual. And when times came that she needed help, she had difficultly receiving. And at times, would refuse.
Part of the reason was because I think she felt that receiving meant she was weak. And part of it was because she didn’t like to inconvenience anyone or be a bother.
After my mother was diagnosed with cancer last year, her friends and family came out of the woodwork to help. I’ve never seen so many people come to my mother’s aid and lend a hand for anything she needed. It was as if everyone rallied together as one, returning all the kindness and charity she had given throughout her life.
It was truly beautiful.
Yet, I remember talking on the phone with her one night in which she shared her surprise at how everyone was helping her and calling her to see how she was doing. And although she was touched and moved, she couldn’t comprehend it.
She said to me, “Ronnie, everyone is offering to do things for me and being so kind. I’m grateful, but I can’t believe it.”
I was totally puzzled, “Why can’t you believe it, I don’t understand?”
She replied, “I don’t know, it just feels so strange.”
That’s when I asked, “Why don’t you just allow everyone to do whatever they want because you have helped others so many times in past, we just want to give that help back. Now it’s your turn to be helped and supported. So allow everyone to give because we love you.”
“That’s it Ronnie, I don’t think I ever realized how much I am loved.”
“Believe it lady, you are.”
My mother learned a great deal through her illness; growing until the end of her journey.
Like water for flowers, she learned to receive. And that it didn’t mean weakness, it meant strength.
She saw the charity she had given, come full circle.
She realized her worth on this planet.
And she left with no regrets.
But most importantly, she learned just how LOVED she was.
Have a beautiful weekend everyone!