Homosexuality: By Birth Or Choice?

My buddy Mark over at Mark My Words, shared a very open and honest post about a discussion he and his wife had with family members and their friends over the holidays, which partially included the topic of homosexuality being a choice.

So I owe my inspiration for this post to Mark, because he sparked me to share my voice on this topic.

Thanks Mark!

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I can’t tell you how many times people have told me that they honestly believed homosexuality is something you choose.

Almost like choosing between a plaid shirt or a striped shirt.

And what I usually ask is, “Did you choose to be heterosexual, or we’re you born that way?”

And their answer is always, “I was born this way.”

I reply, “Well…there you go.”

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For as long as I can remember, I have always known I was homosexual. Of course when I was younger, I didn’t know the definition homosexuality, yet I still knew I was attracted to the same gender.

And please allow me to share that when I say attracted to, I don’t mean just sexually, I also mean emotionally. And I share this because many people believe that homosexuality has only to do with a physical attraction. However, it’s just like heterosexuality, men are attracted to women and women are attracted to men not only on a physical level, but also on an emotional level.

The only difference with homosexuality is that you are attracted to the same gender, both physically and emotionally – it’s the gender you feel more drawn to share a loving and committed bond with.

Yes, a person who is born homosexual can ignore it, resist it, or try to change it. They may even attempt to put it on hold until much later in life, but it’s always there. Always. So really, the only choice I can see being made by someone who is homosexual, is their choice to accept it.

For me, I just accepted being homosexual because it always felt the way I should be. I never allowed the pressures of society or religion to dictate what I should accept or not accept about myself. I always felt that because I was born this way, there was no mistake.

And yes, my family knew that I was homosexual as well. Yet, it’s not like we talked about it all the time when I was younger, but they knew and accepted it. But even if they hadn’t, it would not have altered how I felt about myself.

I knew I was different, but different didn’t ever make me feel that it was anything to be ashamed of, or make me feel unequal or less valuable.

I never felt as if something was wrong with me.

I simply knew that I was born different in who I was attracted to, that’s all.

I would like to conclude this post by saying that I sincerely hope it helps anyone who may have a misconception of homosexuality and choice; giving them a clearer understanding.

You don’t wake up one day and say to yourself, “I’m going to choose to be homosexual.”

Nor, can any experience ever make you suddenly become homosexual.

Believe me when I tell you, a person is born this way.

It’s not a choice.


Have a terrific weekend everyone!
X

62 comments

  1. I totally agree with every single word you said...and having discussed this with many of my friends...it is NOT a choice...a person really is born that way. I just love your honesty!! :) Have a great weekend Ron!! So glad it is not bone chilling cold!!

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  2. 'I never felt as if something was wrong with me.'


    Well, that's good, Ron ... 'cause there wasn't anything wrong.


    Although it doesn't affect me I am grateful that most of society finally cottoned on to the fact that homosexuality is something people are born with. I get very hot under the collar if I hear anyone sounding off about the subject.


    Friday already, how time flies! Enjoy the weekend, my friend xx

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  3. Thanks for posting this, Ron. It's helpful to hear it from your perspective, as it does seem to be a constant debate. We have an extended family member who is 18 that we have watched grow up since birth, and honestly, it's been a waiting game to see if he is gay. It's been in the back of our minds since he was two. Thankfully, his parents and I think all of the family will accept him for who he is, whatever the outcome.

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  4. Thank you! This is a subject that always needs to be discussed. While it is true that in the last few years homosexuality has become accepted by society, that acceptance is a tenuous thing. Many ancient cultures accepted homosexuality as well and that was followed by centuries of persecution. People are not born with the ability to accept others who are unlike themselves. It has to be learned, understood. And for it to be learned and understood, it has to be discussed from time to time.



    http://davidloliver.blogspot.com

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  5. Man, you're lucky. My gay and bi friends' experiences don't mirror yours at all. I know they wouldn't be who are today without those tough experiences, but I do wish they didn't have to work so damn hard to be understood and accepted.


    When I hear people say that GLBTs are accepted today, I don't buy it. Why? Mention same-sex marriage or adoption by a same-sex couple and listen to the bigots roar. What heterosexuals take for granted as their birthright when defining family, GLTB's will still be fighting for long after I'm gone.


    I raise the rainbow flag every time another state passes legislation to legalize same-sex marriage and it's been a good couple of years for the rainbow flag. I'm looking forward to being able to raise that flag 33 more times.

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  6. I can honestly say that not a single member of my, very large, family has ever has a problem with it. Mo has always been accepted as part of our family. Many years ago, and when it was illegal, I had a cousin who was homosexual and tried to become 'straight'. He married and actually managed to have children, before it caught up with him again (as we all knew it would). It was a very hard time for him and his sons, but they got through it.

    I can't believe that anyone can truly believe it's a choice. So many homosexuals are physically different, as well as emotionally and sexually. It takes a very stupid, or well conditioned, person to believe that it's a choice! I think it has far more to do with the teachings of the 'church'. We are conditioned, from childhood, to believe it is abhorrent and a chosen way of life etc. Sadly, the bible has been (and still is being) used to control the minds of the masses, by taking passages out of context and using them as weapons.

    The most unbelievable incident was when I was discussing this very subject with my pastor. He insisted it was a chosen way of life. I asked him to explain the hermaphrodite and could not believe his answer. He looked confused and I could see in his eyes that he was stuck for an answer. He finally said "It doesn't exist". I was speechless. This was the final thing that tipped the scales for us and we never went back to church again.

    Another great post Ron. I'm sorry if I got a bit heavy, but it's a subject I feel strongly about.

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  7. Rob LenihanJanuary 10, 2014

    Ron, thank you so much for writing this touching, heartfelt post.

    It should be required reading for both young gay people who are struggling with their identifies and for the ignorant "family values" schmucks who use their alleged moral superiority as camouflage for their vile, narrow-minded opinions.

    "I knew I was different, but different didn’t ever make me feel that it was anything to be ashamed of, or make me feel unequal or less valuable."


    These are really powerful words and they can mean so much to people who feel isolated and confused. This is what great blogging is all about: you share a deeply personal feeling and that, in turn, speaks to so many others.


    Excellent job, buddy. I'm so proud to say that you're my friend. Have a fantastic weekend! .

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  8. Mark PetruskaJanuary 10, 2014

    I'm glad you posted this, Ron! And happy I could be an inspiration (although really, we should thank those backwards rural-dwelling homophobic morons in eastern Nevada, I suppose). I always say, why would anybody choose to be mocked, ridiculed, and treated like a second-class citizen?? That's ridiculous. You are who you are from the moment you're born, period. Your attitude might change, and your morals, but not the person you were destined to be all along.


    Great post!

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  9. Oh Ron, you wrote this so well. And I’m so glad you posted about this topic because one of my closest and dearest friends is gay, and he says the same thing. People have told him that anyone who is homosexual chooses to be homosexual, because no one is ever born that way. I can’t understand how people would even think that, yet they do. Like you said, I was born heterosexual, I didn’t choose what gender I was going to be attracted to, I just am.

    I hope you don’t mind, but when get home tonight I’m going call him and have him read this post because I know he would so enjoy reading it. I talk about you to him all the time, so it’s like he already knows you anyway.

    Thank you so much for sharing this today, Ron. Wonderful post! Have a great weekend x

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  10. Good morning Jeanne!

    Thank you, dear lady :)

    And thank you for stopping by! Have a faaaaaabulous weekend!

    X to you and the girlz!

    " So glad it is not bone chilling cold!!"

    Today, the temps. here suddenly rose into the high 40's. It feels totally different than it did two days ago. Next week I think it even gets up into the 50's!

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  11. Good morning Valerie!

    " I am grateful that most of society finally cottoned on to the fact that homosexuality is something people are born with."

    Yes, they have. Yet, it takes me back a bit when I hear that many people still believe it's a choice. I've never shared about this topic on my blog before, however, Mark's post inspired me to do so.

    "Friday already, how time flies!"



    HA! I know...I was thinking the same thing! Where did this week go?!?! It flew by.


    Much thanks for stopping by, dear lady. Have a lovely weekend.


    X and hugs to you and Joe!

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  12. Of course you are born either heterosexual or homosexual, no-one would choose to be something which left themselves open to ridicule and discrimination would they? Some people are so stupid. :(

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  13. Hellooooooooo Cheryl!

    "Man, you're lucky. My gay and bi friends' experiences don't mirror yours at all. I know they wouldn't be who are today without those tough experiences...."

    This is not to say that I have not had my share of tough experiences. I was constantly verbally and emotionally abused through all of my school years by classmates (in fact, I have blogged about that). And when I say constantly, I mean every single day of my life. And yes, it hurt me very much when I was younger, but I used it in a positive way to accept myself. Even back then, as young as I was, I knew I was being abused out of fear. I learned that know matter what anyone thinks of me, it only matters what I think about myself.

    "When I hear people say that GLBTs are accepted today, I don't buy it."

    Yes, you're right. For as far as it's come, there are still many people who will never accept it. That's why it's important for me to stay strong in self-acceptance.

    "I raise the rainbow flag every time another state passes legislation to legalize same-sex marriage and it's been a good couple of years for the rainbow flag. I'm looking forward to being able to raise that flag 33 more times."



    You GO, Cheryl! And thank you!


    Much thanks for stopping by and sharing on this post. Muchly appreciated.


    Have a terrific weekend!


    X

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  14. Hey there Babs!

    "I can honestly say that not a single member of my, very large, family has ever has a problem with it."

    That's AWESOME to hear!

    " I had a cousin who was homosexual and tried to become 'straight'. He married..."

    Yes, it was the same with the gentleman I was in a relationship with for 5 years. After we split up, he ended up getting married (and still is). I don't think he was ever comfortable being gay.

    " I was speechless. This was the final thing that tipped the scales for us and we never went back to church again."



    I had a similar experience with a Catholic priest when I was very young. When I asked him about homosexuality, he got so uncomfortable that he couldn't answer me. He was riddled with fear. And this is why I shared that I have never allowed religion to dictate what is acceptable and not acceptable to me.


    Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing on this post topic, my friend. And no apologies needed, I'm glad you spoke up because you've added much to this post.


    Have a wonderful weekend!


    X to you and Mo!

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  15. Hey there Rob!

    You are so welcome, buddy. This is a topic I have never shared on my blog before, however, when I read Marks post earlier this week, I felt inspired to do so. This is a topic that is still so heavily debated that I wanted to speak up about it.

    "These are really powerful words and they can mean so much to people who feel isolated and confused."



    Being gay has taught me the importance of self-acceptance. And I learned that at a very young age. It's how I feel about myself that only matters.


    Thank you so much for stopping by and for your kind, caring, and supportive words, buddy. You ROCK!


    Proud to call you my friend as well!


    Have a super weekend!


    X

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  16. Hellooooooooooooo Mark!

    I can't thank you enough for sharing that post earlier this week because I thought about it a lot and decided to share my voice. So thank you again, buddy!

    "You are who you are from the moment you're born, period. Your attitude might change, and your morals, but not the person you were destined to be all along."



    Amen!


    Much thanks for stopping by, Mark! And thank you for being the awesome gentleman that you are!


    Have a fantabulous weekend!


    X to you and Tara!

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  17. Hola Denise!

    After reading Mark's post earlier this week, I knew I wanted share something about this topic.

    "I hope you don’t mind, but when get home tonight I’m going call him and have him read this post because I know he would so enjoy reading it. I talk about you to him all the time, so it’s like he already knows you anyway"



    No, not at all. Please feel free to share it with your friend.


    Much thanks for stopping by, girl. Have a super-duper weekend!


    X

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  18. Good morning Pearl!


    Thank you for sharing your words on this post, m'dear! And I wish more people had that understanding.


    Thank you!


    Have a lovely weekend and much thanks for stopping by!


    X

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  19. Gooooood morning Jean!

    "Well, ...there you go." I love & use that phrase all the time."



    HA! Isn't faaaaaaaaaaaabulous????


    Much thanks for stopping by, my friend. Have a WONDERFUL weekend!


    X

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  20. Intelligently and beautifully expressed, Ron. How anyone could believe that someone chooses to be homosexual just baffles me. My girlfriend and I hang out with two gay men who are partners, one of which who’s family basically disowned him because they think he chose to be gay and that he could choose to be straight if he wanted to. It’s so sad. Luckily for him he’s a lot like you, he won’t allow anyone (including his family) to dictate how he should feel about himself. And I’m proud of him for that.

    Awesome post, dude! Glad you shared it.

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  21. Hiya Matt!

    " one of which who’s family basically disowned him because they think he chose to be gay and that he could choose to be straight if he wanted to. It’s so sad."

    Yes, I know of several other people, where the same thing happened with their families, and it is sad.

    ". Luckily for him he’s a lot like you, he won’t allow anyone (including his family) to dictate how he should feel about himself. And I’m proud of him for that."

    Good for him! You learn a great deal from being different. It can either make you bitter and angry, or it can cause you to go further within you heart; embracing yourself. It teaches you acceptance and compassion. And not only about yourself, but others as well.

    Much thanks for stopping by, buddy. Have a grrrrrreat weekend!

    X

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  22. I'm so happy you grew up with such a loving family and you accepted yourself as who you are because there is NOTHING wrong with you. You are a wonderful, warm, and loving person.I agree we are born the way we are. I believe people exercise choice when they attempt to be other than who they are, but they are not truly happy until they are who they were born to be.

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  23. Hello there Suzi!

    " I believe people exercise choice when they attempt to be other than who they are, but they are not truly happy until they are who they were born to be."

    *clapping*

    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

    Beautifully stated, my friend! And spot on!

    Much thanks for stopping by, and also for your kind, loving and supportive words.

    Have an awesome weekend, Suzi!

    X

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  24. I have always felt the same way Ron. Besides, if it was a choice, why would anyone choose to be different from other people - to be hated by some people, not accepted by a bunch of others. Although my sexuality or your sexuality doesn't mean anything to me, it does mean something to other people. I don't know why they think it's their business. Someone nice, funny - I'm going to want you for a friend.

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  25. Oh dear, I feel a rant coming on.
    The sort of insecure, bigoted cretins who insist on claiming sexual orientation is a choice really need to look at the logic of their arguments.
    Christian-nouveaux misogynist meathead former boxer, Evander Holyfield has just been failing to do so whilst demonstrating what a colossal dickhead he is on the annual watch-between-the-fingers cringe-fest that is Celebrity Big Brother.

    Here is a report on his words of wisdom - https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=nBOhS4_Xal&feature=youtube_gdata_player

    What he, and other dullards like him fail to understand, is that by their own logic, if they have been such a stud they're lives and have had sex with hundreds of women

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  26. Aaaargh, Disqus crashed, hang on.....

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  27. ....by their own logic, if they've been such studs all their lives, having sex with hundreds of women, then by extension, they've CHOSEN not to have sex with that same number of men. Making them exactly the same as anyone else.

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  28. Ron, this is a refreshing and honest post, and I commend you for it. Not everyone has the courage to tackle this subject in such a frank and open manner, to lay their thoughts and feelings out without cause or concern.
    You're soooo blessed to have grown up accepting who you are, surrounded by a family who accepted you unconditionally. That's not something even heterosexuals can always say!
    I've long believed homosexuals are born that way. Who would CHOOSE to be something different from the majority, something that the unenlightened hate and fear? Who would CHOOSE to be ridiculed in school?
    I've known families of gay young men who accept their sons just the way they are; I've also known families who are still "battling over their son's decision" -- as if the poor young man had any choice in the matter.
    Wonderfully written, my friend. Have a SUPER weekend!

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  29. Oh I give up, now the YouTube link doesn't work.
    He basically said that people choose to be gay and called homosexuality "a disability"

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  30. This is such a honest post, I commend you for writing in Ronnie. I have heard far too many people claim its a choice and it is really disheartening. We all agree we cant choose who we fall in love with so why is it so hard to believe that we can't choose the gender either. Love is such a mysterious thing and when it happens most of the time none of us know why it just is. Gay, straight or otherwise everyone deserves to be with who makes them happy.

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  31. Geraldine H.January 10, 2014

    Not to be rude or offensive but I'm curious Ron, have you ever been attracted to a woman (or more than one) at any time in a romantic/sexual way?

    I do know that there are many people who have been living a homosexual lifestyle but then ended up in a heterosexual relationship. Whether these lasted or not, I don't know.

    I hope you don't mind me asking! If you'd rather not answer, that's ok too.

    Have a great weekend, G

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  32. I'm actually glad that Geraldine asked this because it's something I've always wondered (for personal reasons, based on three past relationships), or maybe I just knew a lot of bisexuals in college? Ron, you can email me if you'd rather.

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  33. Hats off to you for being comfortable in your own skin. There are many who are not and I'm sure it's a struggle for them every single day. Not going to lie....I really don't know any gay men (except you!) and I think you are one of the most caring and compassionate people I've *met*..which perhaps IS a choice! :-) I'm sure your loving family has had a tremendous impact on your positive self-esteem and how you view the world.

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  34. i don't know if people choose it or not - i'm not the originator of life and i can't even spell DNA. i also would never spend a second debating it or trying to convince anyone otherwise no more than i would try to convince them that i'm female. have a super duper weekend, ron.

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  35. Hello there Debbie!

    " Not everyone has the courage to tackle this subject in such a frank and open manner, to lay their thoughts and feelings out without cause or concern. You're soooo blessed to have grown up accepting who you are, surrounded by a family who accepted you unconditionally. That's not something even heterosexuals can always say!"

    Thank you, but here's the thing...I was born with a strong sense of who I was, so it was never any big deal to me being homosexual. And I think because I treated it as a natural part of who I am, my family always did too. I never went through a period of self-doubt about being gay, I just accepted it. Now that's not to say I didn't experience a lot of verbal and emotional abuse from my classmates, growing up, because I did. But I always knew that they did that out of fear.

    "I've also known families who are still "battling over their son's decision" -- as if the poor young man had any choice in the matter."

    It totally amazes me that people believe someone chooses to by homosexual, but they do. I hope that through sharing this post, someone might read it and understand that it is not a choice. It's what we're born.

    Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, my friend. I really appreciate that! And thank you for being the open and accepting lady that you are.

    Have a wonderful weekend!

    X

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  36. Hey there Dale!

    I read all your other comments and I'm sorry that Disqus crashed while leaving a comment. I tried to click on the You Tube video, and you're right...it doesn't work. It says something about not existing. I will try to go over to You Tube sometime this weekend and do a search for this guys name and see if I can find a video clip.

    "He basically said that people choose to be gay and called homosexuality "a handicap"

    Yes, I've heard that before too. The only handicap it is, comes from the "unawareness" of people who think that it's a choice and that a homosexual can choose to be something else.

    " if they've been such studs all their lives, having sex with hundreds of women, then by extension, they've CHOSEN not to have sex with that same number of men. Making them exactly the same as anyone else."



    HA! Loved that, Dale. And you're absolutely right!


    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your rant, buddy. Muchly appreciated, buddy. You ROCK!


    Have a super weekend!
    X

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  37. Hey there Benze!

    "Besides, if it was a choice, why would anyone choose to be different from other people - to be hated by some people, not accepted by a bunch of others."

    Exactly. Yet, even beyond that...no one can choose who they're attracted to because it just IS.

    " Someone nice, funny - I'm going to want you for a friend."



    Thank you :) And thanks a bunch for stopping by, my friend. Have an excellent weekend!


    X

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  38. Hey there Shae!

    Thank you :) After reading Mark's post earlier this week, I felt the need to share this.

    "We all agree we cant choose who we fall in love with so why is it so hard to believe that we can't choose the gender either. Love is such a mysterious thing and when it happens most of the time none of us know why it just is."



    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! My feelings exactly. We CAN'T choose who we're attracted to OR love, is just IS.


    Much thanks for stopping by and sharing your spot on insight to this post, girl! Muchly appreciated!


    Have a fantabulous weekend!


    X

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  39. Hey there Val!

    "i don't know if people choose it or not - i'm not the originator of life."


    You really don't have to be the originator of life to know that you were born a homosexual. You just know. It's not a choice.

    "or trying to convince anyone otherwise no more than i would try to convince them that i'm female."



    Exactly. And that's my point.


    Much thanks for stopping by, girl. Have a super-duper weekend too!


    X

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  40. Thank you, Lisa.


    Thank you for your kind, open, supportive and loving words.


    " I'm sure your loving family has had a tremendous impact on your positive self-esteem and how you view the world."


    Yes, my family is awesome! And I'm so glad they're my family.


    Have a fantabulous weekend, my friend. And thank you for stopping by!


    X

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  41. Hey there Geraldine!

    No, I don't take offense to that at all. In fact, many other people have asked me the same thing.

    " have you ever been attracted to a woman (or more than one) at any time in a romantic/sexual way?"



    I ADORE women. And not only for their female beauty, but more so for their tremendous inner strength and intelligence. Women contribute a great deal to this world and I respect and admire them to the utmost.


    However, I've never had the desire to have to have an intimate relationship with a woman. I'm attracted to women, but on a deep friendship basis.


    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a WONDERFUL weekend!
    X

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  42. Hey there Bijoux!


    Please feel free to read my response to Geraldine's question above.


    Yes, there are people who are bisexual, however, I've always been homosexual.


    X

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  43. Do you know what I like about this post? You said everything so precise, without using a lot of words. Direct, honest, and to the point. I so enjoy the way you speak.


    And being homosexual myself, what I can say that you haven't already said?


    It's not a choice. It's not a learned experience. It's how I was born.


    Thank you for sharing your voice, Ron.

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  44. Thank you, Robert!

    Have a faaaaaaaaaaaaabulous weekend, buddy. And much thanks for stopping by!

    X

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  45. In 2014, I still don't understand how people can't grasp this simple fact. It's like being born tall or with red hair. It just IS.
    You were so blessed to have a family that loved and supported you. I know too many people who hid who they were for years and then lost relationships with friends and family who just wouldn't accept them for who they are because of the very reason you state. It's heartbreaking.
    Great post! Hope you had a good week!

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  46. "In 2014, I still don't understand how people can't grasp this simple fact. It's like being born tall or with red hair. It just IS."

    Thank you, Chrissy...it just IS. And I find hard to comprehend how people can honestly believe it's a choice!?!?

    "You were so blessed to have a family that loved and supported you. I know too many people who hid who they were for years and then lost relationships with friends and family who just wouldn't accept them for who they are because of the very reason you state."

    Yes, I certainly was blessed because I too know people who were shunned by family and friends because of it, when found out. Heartbreaking indeed.

    Much thanks for stopping by, girl. Have a SUPER weekend! Hope you're week was good too. Mine was great!

    X

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  47. Hey Ron, I've got my clipboard working now. Here's that clip - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yrl5qQE8Ig&=youtube_gdata_player

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  48. Oh dearheart....it is amazing....A.M.A.Z.I.N.G, given the crazy times we grew up in, that you're as comfortable in your own skin as you are. Folks worked really, really hard to NOT let that be the case, I'm sure. And not just the schoolmates who were fearful, well taught snots. Everyone around us was somehow deluded into believing they had a license to mock and shame others who weren't 'shaping up' as 'normal'. The good news is we started making noise. I love that about our era--we were noise makers and we trudged through the muck and mire to chase what we knew was right for US. You had a family that embraced the WHOLE of you--and for that, you KNOW you were very, very blessed. Hugely so. Just as they were blessed to have you.


    Now, I'm NOT going to agree with the rest of the folks who say there's 'nothing wrong with you'. ROFL! They're obviously new readers and haven't paid attention.......I mean, you wear red noses and tutu's....and disco wildly and take Barbies on adventures and introduce them to squirrels. There's a whole LOT wrong with ya that's RIGHT with me and I L.O.V.E. it!!!!
    I adore you for who you are, not for who you love or sleep with. I was kinda hopin' that was a reciprocated deal.
    But......maybe you really DO give a rats rearend that I love and sleep with an Englishman.
    Oh--g'head...break my heart and tell me yes. :-/

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  49. Excellent, Dale! And thank you SO MUCH, buddy!

    I will definitely check it out sometime today!

    Have a grrrrrreat Saturday!

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  50. Gooooooood morning, Mel!

    "And not just the schoolmates who were fearful, well taught snots. Everyone around us was somehow deluded into believing they had a license to mock and shame others who weren't 'shaping up' as 'normal'"

    You're right, it wasn't only schoolmates yet, because I spend most of time IN school, that's where I experienced it the most. Even to this very day, I still get remarks.

    "The good news is we started making noise. I love that about our era--we were noise makers and we trudged through the muck and mire to chase what we knew was right for US."

    LOVE how you said that! And being a Libra (as you know), we are very independent in our way of knowing what's true for us and taking an inward stand.

    "I mean, you wear red noses and tutu's....and disco wildly and take Barbies on adventures and introduce them to squirrels. There's a whole LOT wrong with ya that's RIGHT with me and I L.O.V.E. it!!!!"

    Bwhahahahahahahha! OMG...that made HOWL and spew my morning coffee!!

    "I adore you for who you are, not for who you love or sleep with. I was kinda hopin' that was a reciprocated deal.But......maybe you really DO give a rats rearend that I love and sleep with an Englishman.
    Oh--g'head...break my heart and tell me yes. :-/"



    Thank you. HA! And no, I don't give a rats rearend that you love and sleep with an Englishman. In fact, I think it's so awesome that the two of you found each other through the web and that you matched so perfectly. AND, that you've been together for so long. I think that's faaaaaaabulous!


    Thanks oodles for stopping by, dear lady. Have a super Saturday!


    (((((((((((( You )))))))))))))


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  51. Hello there Secret Agent Woman!

    "I have deep emotionally intimate relationships with some female friends. If sex were not part of the issue, I could share my life with a woman. My sexual orientation is just that - a sexual one. It's just that damned physical chemistry that drives me."

    I suppose we're all different. For me, my sexual orientation involves more than just sex. I'm attracted to men on a physical/sexual level, but also on so many other levels. It's the gender I feel more drawn to bond and couple with. It's also the gender I feel I have the most to learn from about intimacy.

    Much thanks for stopping by, girl, and sharing on this post. Hope you're having a FANTASTIC weekend!

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  52. Just sneaked back to read everyone's comments. I love doing that!

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  53. HA! :) Welcome back, Robert! Hope you're enjoying a great weekend!

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  54. Ron, the friend I told you about in my earlier comment read your post and loved it. Thank you again for sharing this post. x

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  55. Hey Denise! Thanks for stopping back and letting me know. You're a doll!
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  56. Herman TurnipJanuary 12, 2014

    To be brutally honest, coming from the viewpoint of a straight man, I wasn't sure how I felt about people who weren't heterosexual. Growing up, I really didn't have a bad thing to say about those who followed a different path, but it was only after joining the military and making dozens of friends, and finding out after several years that a few of them were gay, did it truly dawn on me that there's nothing wrong with their sexual orientations. It didn't matter to them that I was straight, and it didn't matter to me that they weren't. We each had each others backs either professionally or while enjoying a night out, or on that infamous night when we got into a fight with a few Japanese locals. We were all brothers and sisters.

    Honestly, I think people need to get out more and understand that everyone's human. We all need the same things, and to ostracize somebody based on their sexual orientation is short sighted at best.

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  57. Thank you, Herman. Thank you for your honest comment, it was awesome!

    "It didn't matter to them that I was straight, and it didn't matter to me that they weren't. We each had each others backs either professionally or while enjoying a night out, or on that infamous night when we got into a fight with a few Japanese locals. We were all brothers and sisters."

    Amen...we're all brothers and sisters!

    "Honestly, I think people need to get out more and understand that everyone's human. We all need the same things, and to ostracize somebody based on their sexual orientation is short sighted at best."

    You're absolutely right!

    Again, thank you for your comment and for being the wonderful open gentleman that you are!

    Hope you had a super weekend, buddy!

    X to you, Karin, and Mr. Tyler!

    P.S. And I hope your hike was a blast. Can't wait to read and see about it on your blog!

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  58. Yes, there is no doubt that gay folks are born that way. I don't think you have a choice - just like you can't choose to permanently change the color of your eyes. Having known my niece since she was 6 years old, I know that being homosexual isn't a learned behavior. She knew from her earliest memories, we knew because it was just who she was.

    There isn't anything wrong with someone who is gay. They are human beings - good, bad, ugly, funny, talented, horrid - and everything else that makes them a person.

    You may have had an advantage that some don't have, the acceptance and love of your family and good friends. Too bad every child - gay or not - can't have that!

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  59. Hey there Nitebyrd!

    I can't thank you enough for sharing your comment!

    " I don't think you have a choice - just like you can't choose to permanently change the color of your eyes."

    Yes, exactly. It isn't a choice.

    "Having known my niece since she was 6 years old, I know that being homosexual isn't a learned behavior. She knew from her earliest memories..."

    And me as well. I just knew.

    "You may have had an advantage that some don't have, the acceptance and love of your family and good friends. Too bad every child - gay or not - can't have that!"

    That's true, and I feel very blessed to have had a family such as mine. But even still, if they hadn't, it would not have altered how I felt about myself because I was ridiculed and verbally bullied in my youth. Yet, it taught me self-acceptance; even at that young age.

    Much thanks for stopping by, Sis!

    X ya!

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  60. I've always wondered why someone would "choose" to be gay knowing full well they would be subjected to prejudice and ridicule from the ignorant. It'd be like an African-American man during the 1800's saying, "I chose to be black"

    We are all born into individualism. Whether that's our gender preference, shade of skin, humor (or lack thereof) or any other characteristic, it's wired into our DNA.

    Like you eluded to, we can attempt to bend to tweak our lives into what either we think is appropriate or god forbid, what society thinks we should be. It's just an unfortunate mask that's worn to cover who we really are.

    I don't know that I articulated my thoughts all that well, but simply put, we may be able to choose what pair of socks to pull out of the drawer in the morning, but who we are was set in motion the minute we entered this world.

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  61. Hellooooooooo Jeff!!!!!

    Yes...you articulated your thoughts perfectly!

    "we may be able to choose what pair of socks to pull out of the drawer in the morning, but who we are was set in motion the minute we entered this world."


    BINGO!

    "We are all born into individualism. Whether that's our gender preference, shade of skin, humor (or lack thereof) or any other characteristic, it's wired into our DNA."



    Exactly! And I think homosexuality may even go beyond something solely based on DNA, because for as many things as I've read about DNA and homosexuality, scientists are not 100% sure. But that doesn't make it any less provable to me that I was born this way. I simply know. It's a feeling. I didn't learn it nor, choose it. It's just part of my make up. Or as you so wonderfully said....individualism.


    Much thanks for stopping by and sharing on this post, buddy, you've added much!


    Hope you're having a FAB week!
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