Don’t you hate when after doing your ‘business’ in the bathroom, you look over and see this…
and then you say to yourself, “Shit…that was my last roll of toilet paper!!!!”
That’s when normally I ponder, “Should I use one of the MANY napkins I've cumulatively hijacked from Starbucks that are in my kitchen cupboard, or should I use a paper towel?”
But then I realize that I won’t be able to flush the napkin or paper towel down the toilet because it might clog the pipes and cause an overflow.
Oh, what to do…what to do. Decisions…decisions.
Well, what I usually do is opt for using a napkin and then pray to god almighty that it doesn’t overflow the toilet.
And usually my prayers are answered.
However, that’s not really the worst part. The worst part for me is that after this happens, I always seem to forget to buy more toilet paper, which is exactly what happened on the day I ran out of toilet paper last week.
Yup, I went to Walgreens drugstore after I left work and purchased everything I needed EXCEPT toilet paper. So, that night and the next morning, I had to use a few more napkins from my stash of Starbucks.
Gee…I wonder if Starbucks knows that their 100% recycled napkins are being used as recycled toilet paper in my house?
Well, if they ever discover this post, they will.
Anyway, I was bound and determined NOT to forget to buy more toilet paper the following day, so I devised a non-forget plan.
And here’s what I did.
I took the empty roll of toilet paper and placed it DIRECTLY in front of my apartment door on the inside, so that it would be a STRONG visual reminder as I was leaving the house.
Then, right before I left the house that morning, I placed the empty roll of toilet paper INSIDE the nylon bag I take to work with me every day, which contains all the things I need for work, such as sample supplies.
And I did this so that anytime I opened my bag at work to grab some samples, it would constantly remind me to buy toilet paper.
Wasn’t that brilliant?
However (and this is the embarrassing part)…
At one point during the day, I opened my bag in front of a customer to get them a sample, and out POPPED the empty toilet paper roll and landed on the counter.
Wasn't that special?
So of course, rather than look like a total buffoon, I decided to tell them the truth about why I had an empty roll of toilet paper in my bag.
And do you know what? They actually laughed and thought it was a great idea!
And it was a great idea because right after work, I marched my chafed butt into Walgreens and purchased more toilet paper…
P.S. And thank you Starbuck's for the toilet paper substitute. However, I need to mention that your napkins are a little rough on the derriere, so you might want to try making them a bit softer for toilet-paper-forgetters, like me.
Have a SUPER weekend everyone!
And remember…don’t forget the toilet paper!