Tuesday, September 29, 2020

I Used To Be A Smoker: My History With Cigarettes

Yes, I used to be a smoker.

And this is my history.

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When and how I started:

Both my parents smoked, but they would tell us how unhealthy it was for you and that as long as we were living at home, we were forbidden to smoke. And even as a kid, I thought, "Oh really? You mean, do as I say, not as I do?"

But eventually, I did start to smoke. My cousin and I used to confiscate large cigarette butts out of the ashtrays from our parents' cars, and then smoke them in the back yard whenever our families would get together on the weekends.

However, I didn't "officially" start smoking until I was 18-years old and living in New York City; attending an acting school at the time. For one of my acting classes, I had to perform a scene from a play and decided that my character in the scene needed to smoke. Don't ask me why I decided that, but I did. I think I was just nervous and thought that smoking a cigarette would give me something to do with my hands in the scene.

And I will never forget the first cigarette brand I purchased. Do any of you remember seeing this brand back in the 70's?...

And the primary reason I chose that brand was because of the cool-looking filter...

True came in regular and menthol, I smoked menthol. Which is ironic because I ended up thinking that menthol cigarettes were revolting and switched to regular. You see, back then, the majority of people who wanted to try smoking would start with menthol because they were "supposedly" more mild. However, it's been proven that menthol cigarettes are actually more harmful than regular, as well as filtered cigarettes are more harmful than non-filtered. 

My smoking habit:

I always had an odd relationship with cigarettes. 

I could go for months and never have the desire to smoke a cigarette, and then suddenly start smoking again. I rarely ever smoked during the day. I was more of a nighttime smoker.

I was a very considerate smoker in that I would never flick my cigarette butts out of a car window or toss them on the ground. And if I knew that cigarettes bothered someone, I wouldn't smoke around them. Also, I never smoked in a restaurant because I thought that eating food and cigarette smoke were a hideous combination. And I was never one of those smokers who craved a cigarette after I ate.   

I pretty much only smoked in my own apartment; outdoors; or if I was at a nightclub with friends. That was back in the day when smoking was permitted in bars and nightclubs. Hell, that was back in the day when you could smoke on an airplane, which I did. I used to always reserve my seat in the smoking section of the plane so that I could have a cigarette after I heard the *ding* and the "no smoking" sign went off. And do you remember when they used to have smoking areas in hospitals?!? That immediately causes me to recall a scene in the Bette Davis movie, Dark Victory, where she and her DOCTOR were smoking cigarettes in her hospital room the night before her brain surgery. 

Which is unfathomable, because today all of those things are strictly forbidden. 

Other cigarette brands I smoked:

Now + More

*the only reason I smoked More was because of the popular 1980's nighttime television drama, Dynasty, in which Alexis Carrington Colby (Joan Collins) smoked More cigarettes. And in bed. And wearing a full face of makeup, including a shinny red lip gloss that somehow never smudged. LOL!

And this was the brand I ended up smoking for most of my cigarette years, until I stopped...

When and why I stopped smoking:

It has now been almost six years since I puffed on a cigarette. And I quit for several reasons.

1. In the last two years of smoking, I began to smoke more frequently and started feeling the physical effects such as, shortness of breath while climbing stairs, and I had developed a cough. I also noticed that my energy level was lower than it used to be, and began to experience cigarette hangovers in the morning. 

2. The cost. When a pack of cigarettes climbed to $10.00 (and $13.00 in NYC), I thought, "No. This is ridiculous."

But above all, I realized that I was taking my good health for granted by abusing it with cigarettes. And that made me very sad. 

So one day I just stopped. Like that. And it was the only time I ever attempted to stop smoking. 

It was an adjustment at first, because cigarettes are extremely addictive. And the addiction is not only physical, but psychological as well, which I believe is the stronger addiction of the two because smoking is associated with a feeling. So it's a matter of disassociating the "action" of smoking from that feeling. 

But after a few months, I got used to not lighting up a cigarette and have never gone back to smoking.

Do I think about cigarettes every so often? Yes. But I won't go backwards.

Once I stopped smoking:

Once I stopped smoking, I promised myself that I would never become like so many other reformed smokers who LOVE to point fingers and preach to smokers about HOW THEY NEED TO STOP BECAUSE IT'S SOOOO BAD FOR YOU. And these are the same people who smoked a pack and a half of cigarettes a day for 35 years. 

And I have stuck to my promise. I've never once preached to a smoker that they should stop because I know how much I hated it when someone did that to me. 

Things I noticed after I stopped smoking:

My sense of taste and smell came back to life. And that is something I didn't realize until I stopped smoking. Suddenly my food had a fuller taste, and my sense of smell became more acute. 

My teeth and skin looked cleaner and brighter.

My naturally high energy level was restored. 

My clothes no longer smelled like smoke.

When I moved from my last apartment to this apartment, I noticed that when I took the pictures off the walls, I could see a revealing line of difference between the yellow walls and the white areas behind the pictures. Which was due to nicotine stains from all the years of smoking in that apartment. 

What I learned about deciding to quit:

From doing research, I discovered that things like nicotine replacement therapies such as nicotine gum, nicotine patches, lozenges, electronic cigarettes, nasal sprays or inhalers, are only beneficial for short-term. And in reality, those things are merely a trade-off for the same addiction in a different form. 

I truly believe that you will only stop smoking when you are 100% absolutely ready to stop.

You have to get to the point of being totally over them.  

There has to be something inside of you that realizes once and for all, "I've had enough."

Have a terrific week, everyone!

💗