blog updates by email


I'm sure you're all familiar with those product infomercials on TV that claim to cure all sorts of physical and mental maladies. However at the end of the infomercial, have you ever noticed how they always insert a voiceover that quickly reviews the possible side effects that may occur, which are far worse than the malady itself? And have you also noticed how bizarre the name of the products are?

So, do you know what I did?

I decided to create my own product infomercial, with its list of side effects.

------------------------------------------------


Are you experiencing high levels of stress? Do you frequently feel down in the dumps? Are you experiencing dramatic mood swings and severe intestinal gas? Are you suffering from constant hip and knee pain anytime you try to dance the Salsa? 

Well, I've got the ideal product for you: 

FIATO (pronounced: fee-ah-toe)

FIATO is a new drug that assists in addressing and alleviating all of the issues listed above.

Yes, by simply taking one FIATO capsule three times a day, you will see amazing results. And when I say amazing, I mean A-MAZ-ING!

In fact, in a clinical trial study performed over a period of four weeks, participants said that they saw improvement within the first three days of taking FIATO.

Some participants even said they were completely cured!

Isn't that impressive?

-------------------------------------------------

*Side Effects Include:

-blindness 
-hearing loss 
-finger nails turning black 
-painful hives on the abdomen
-tremendous weight gain  
-reoccurring nightmares of being chased by someone with a butcher knife 
-loss of speech 
-penis shrinkage
-internal bleeding
-heart attacks
-paralysis of lower extremities
-divorce
-and bankruptcy

But other than that, FIATO is completely safe.

However, if you do experience any or all of the side effects mentioned, please contact a Veterinarian immediately. 

FIATO is covered by most healthcare insurance and can easily be purchased over-the-counter at any drug store, 7-11, Wawa, or Piggly Wiggly. 

So, go ahead and take the plunge by trying FIATO.

I mean, really, what have you got to lose?

Wishing you peace, joy, harmony, and wellness!


Have a faaaaabulous week, y'all!.....💗

-----------------------------------------------------

P.S. Yes, as you can tell, I just recently gave my blog a design makeover. In fact, I just finished customizing it last night. It took me three days. Please feel free to click around and check it out. I especially LOVE the Home page and slider.


33 comments:

  1. Hi Ron, what a fun post and yes whenever I’ve heard drug infomercials the side effects have always seemed more daunting than the ailment itself. And, Fiato certainly had some interesting ones like nightmares, divorce and bankruptcy, not to mention all the physical side effects, many of which could kill rather than cure.

    I was curious as to how you came up with the name of your “product” as well and the illustrations were a nice accompaniment. When do the clinical trials start?😀 speaking for myself, I would much rather have the symptoms than the cure.

    The redesign is very nice and I am slowly poking my around it. Did you do it yourself?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my god Ron, I'm dying of laughter! Your list of side effects were HYSTERICAL! I love the nightmare about the butcher knife!

    And yes, I am aware of these kind of infomercials because they air them repeatedly at night while watching TV. And I think the same thing, the side effects seem so much worse then the health issue.

    I also wanted to mention that I really like your new blog design. Did you design it yourself? Very nice!

    Thank you so much for your wonderful sense of humor, Ron. You are so creative! x

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lol Ron, you are too much with those graphics of people passing gas!!! Actually, I love the graphics and the color of your new design. So pretty and modern! I know how much time it can take to update. Nice work!

    Those drug commercials are everywhere! It seems as though that’s all that’s being advertised. Personally, I’ve never gone to my doctor and asked for a drug after seeing a commercial. That’s what doesn’t make sense to me! Who does that? I just don’t understand why they are spending money promoting something that requires an RX. The craziest one I saw was for people who had a specific form of blindness, which I’d never heard of. So, they were marketing to .0005% of the population??! So bizarre.

    Hope you don’t have any bad dreams involving butcher knives! Enjoy the rest of your week. XO

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey there Candice!

    HA! I added the one about the butcher knife last minute, I just couldn't resist!

    And you're right, I only watch TV (streamed on my computer) in the evenings and these type of commercials are constant. I think it's because they know that more people watch TV at night.

    No, I didn't design it myself, I purchased it from a designer and then customized it to my liking. The name of the design company is on the very bottom of the blog. They design really nice templates. And they're are very reasonably priced.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a super week!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  5. LOL! I just could resist making that graphic. I made it on Canva (a graphic design company) for FREE! I make a lot of my post graphics there.

    Thanks, I love the new template design too. They had two that I really liked, but decided on this one. I only had one issue when installing it. For some reason, the design would not accept the code for Disqus that usually goes into an HTML widget on the sidebar. All of the templates I've used over the years have easily accepted the code, however, this one didn't. So I had to install the code within the template myself, which scared me a bit because I didn't want to make a mistake and screw of the template. Yet, it all worked out. Whew!

    " Personally, I’ve never gone to my doctor and asked for a drug after seeing a commercial. That’s what doesn’t make sense to me! Who does that? I just don’t understand why they are spending money promoting something that requires an RX. The craziest one I saw was for people who had a specific form of blindness, which I’d never heard of. So, they were marketing to .0005% of the population??! So bizarre."


    Exactly! And I personally don't know anyone who has EVER used one of these products. And you're right, why are they spending money promoting something that requires an RX?!?! To me, these infomercials all seem so contrived and unreal.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a faaaaaaaaaaabulous rest of your week!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey there D!

    "And, Fiato certainly had some interesting ones like nightmares, divorce and bankruptcy, not to mention all the physical side effects, many of which could kill rather than cure."

    LOL! I literally sat here for several days and tried to think of the most ridiculous side effect I could.

    ReplyDelete
  7. RON!!! I freaking love your blog design. I'm so jealous. it's beautiful and in two of my favorite colors together, black and white. well done, my friend.

    and yes, give me all the fiato, side effects be darned.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ron, you've nailed these drug ads down perfectly! Yes, I've noticed how they start by making the medicine sound as if it can cure most anything -- and then in the itty-bitty print (or a softer, faster voice) they tell you the possible side effects ... which would make a sane person run screaming in the other direction!


    You did an outstanding job personalizing this new design! It's clean, fresh, open -- and I, too, like the slider. I'm going to have to poke around a bit more to get comfortable with what's where, but that's half the fun, isn't it?


    Enjoy the week -- I suspect you'll be getting some of the snow that's headed East?! xx

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thanks, Val! Me too....I love black and white together because it's so easy on the eyes, clean, and classic. Kind of like the black and white films. LOVE them!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Hope all is well with you and that you're having a great start to 2021!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hello there Debbie!

    "- and then in the itty-bitty print (or a softer, faster voice) they tell you the possible side effects ... which would make a sane person run screaming in the other direction!"

    Yes...you nailed it! The voice is always softer and faster, as if to quickly pass it by.

    Thank you! I just recently discovered the website designer on Etsy and LOVED her templates. It was a toss up between this one and another one, but this one was the one I chose, mainly because of the clear black and white contrast.

    And yes, every 3-4 years I like to change my blog design because it gives you a fresh feeling!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and for your feedback. Have a faaaaaaaaabulous week!

    X

    P.S. Yup...in fact, it just this second started to snow. Yippppppppppe!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ron, "reoccurring nightmares of being chased by someone with a butcher knife and penis shrinkage" ROFLMAO! OMG dude, so funny! This whole post is funny, but your list of side effects are priceless.

    Being that my girlfriend is a graphic artist/designer, I share your new blog look with her and she wanted me to tell you that it's KILLER. And I think so too. I love how it moves. And the slider is really cool. Well done! I think it's great that you know how to customize websites. How did you learn? Did you take a class?

    Thanks so much for the laughs. You never fail to entertain or inspire!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hiya Matt!

    I spent several days thinking of the side effects I wanted to add to the list. Actually, the list was longer, but I decided it was probably too long, so I cut several of them.

    Thank you. And please tell your girlfriend I said thank you too. I really liked this template when I first saw it. There were two I was debating on, however, this one was the one I chose because of the colors and the Home page. No, I didn't take a class in customizing websites, I taught myself by reading up on it. I have a practice blog where I upload my templates and work on them first before uploading them to my public blog. I can customize a website, but I could never create one from scratch. I'm surprised though how much I enjoy learning about coding, and how to change it.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Wishing you and your girlfriend a faaaaaaabulous week!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  13. LOLOLOL! I can't tell you how many times I've watched these commercials and though, wow, the side effects sound worse than the disease/disorder/ailment! How did humans function before all these pharmaceuticals? I realize some of these drugs may be beneficial, but you'd think our lives are not worth living without the endless supply of magic pills for whatever ails us. It's obvious you had fun thinking up this post. Thanks for the giggle! X

    ReplyDelete
  14. "How did humans function before all these pharmaceuticals? I realize some of these drugs may be beneficial, but you'd think our lives are not worth living without the endless supply of magic pills for whatever ails us."

    HA! Yes, that's an AWESOME question! And great point you brought up!

    It's funny because I noticed these type on infomercials years ago, however, they are becoming more and more frequent. And I ask myself, where do they get the stats? And other than the people they get to do the infomercials who are getting paid to portray the characters, has anyone honestly tried these things?!?

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Hope you're having a GRAND week!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  15. Ron, you are such a delightful man. I laughed all the way through this post. Your side effects were hysterical. And so spot on because that's exactly how ridiculous they sound in the actual commercials.

    I LOVE divorce and bankruptcy. LOL!

    By the way, your new blog digs look great! Very nice design!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Greetings Clair!

    So nice to see you again!

    It's funny because over the past week, I kept making a mental note to myself as I heard the infomercials on TV, to listen to the side effects so that I could try to create similar ones. The divorce and bankruptcy was my idea because I thought it would they would be perfectly ridiculous. HA!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, hope you're enjoying the New Year and having a great week!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ron, I checked out the Etsy page where you purchased your new blog template and was so impressed by the designs I saw. I'm not surprised why you choose them, they're all so professional looking and well made. And you're right, the prices are so reasonable. Good choice!

    ReplyDelete
  18. http://ladyfi.wordpress.comWednesday, January 27, 2021

    Thanks for the laugh! And WOW! I love love LOVE your new blog design!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I know, are the designs AWESOME? I've always had much success with finding template designers on Etsy. In fact, that's where I've gotten all of my templates in the past. I particularly liked this designer because of all the really cool features this template came with. I'm very happy with it!


    X

    ReplyDelete
  20. Glad to hear you had a laugh, Fiona! And thank you. I am so happy with this new blog design. She did such a great job in creating it. And it was very easy to customize.

    Have a super week, my friend. And thanks so much for stopping by!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  21. Ron, my husband and I read this post this morning and were cracking up! You are a riot! I can tell that you were an excellent comedic actor and had the audience rolling in the aisles. You need to get back onstage!

    And you're right about this drug ads, they're ridiculous with the side effect. I don't know how these companies make any money because after hearing about the dangerous side effects, who would buy them?

    Oh, and we (hubby and I) want to let you know that your new blog design is GREAT! I love the slider thingy and how the blog posts gently move into position. You did good, Ron! And I didn't know you customized websites. You have so many different talents.

    Thank you for the laughs, Ron. And I know you're enjoying our colder weather. Me too! xo

    ReplyDelete
  22. Helloooooooooooo there, Elaine!

    HA! It's funny you mentioned that because I was talking with a good friend of my from Florida, who I use to do theater with, and told her that I had a feeling that I would be dabbling in the acting thing again. I don't know how or when, but I just had this feeling that I'd be getting involved somehow. Which is hilarious because right now (because of COVID) there are no theaters open, or have any idea when they will reopen. So we shall see.

    "I don't know how these companies make any money because after hearing about the dangerous side effects, who would buy them?"

    Me as well. I actually laugh when I watch them because the side effects are insanely ridiculous, and actually hilarious.

    Thanks. Glad you like the new design. The web design is very, very good. She lives in Poland and is very sweet. We spoke a few times via email because I had a few questions, and she was so nice. I can customize a website, but not design one from scratch. I've taught myself over the many years of having blogs. I really enjoy it because I'm always learning something.

    Thanks so much for stopping by. And YES....I sure as hell am enjoying the colder weather. LOVE it!!!! I am looking forward to another snowfall!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  23. Oh, man, Ron, this is hilarious! And all too accurate!

    I love how those horrible warnings come while the people in the commercial are smiling and doing tai chi or running through a field in slow motion. The contrast between the voiceover and the images is mind-blowing.

    There was a drug that was supposed to help people quit smoking and it came with a warning of--I swear to God--vivid nightmares and suicidal thoughts. That's even worse than penis shrinkage...I think. What the hell is in that stuff--LSD?!?

    I'll take my chances with Faito!

    Love the redesign, buddy! Great job!

    Take care!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hey there Rob!

    "I love how those horrible warnings come while the people in the commercial are smiling and doing tai chi or running through a field in slow motion. The contrast between the voiceover and the images is mind-blowing."

    YES....you're exactly right, man! The images never match the horrible warnings, as if they are there purposely to distract from the fear.

    "I love how those horrible warnings come while the people in the commercial are smiling and doing tai chi or running through a field in slow motion. The contrast between the voiceover and the images is mind-blowing."


    Bwhahahahahahahaha! OMG...that is freaking HILARIOUS!

    What I find strange about these product that are advertised in these commercials is that I've never met a single soul who has ever TRIED them.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, buddy. Hope you're week is going fabulously!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  25. Ron, I LOVE your new blog website design. It is (in your favorite word) faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous! I love the black and white theme, and I also like how the posts flow up from the bottom on the home page. And yes, the slider is such a great attraction. Well done!

    This post is hysterical! I've been offline the past several days (work related stuff), so I wasn't able to read it until this morning. And what a great way to start my day, with laughter. " Are you suffering from constant hip and knee pain anytime you try to dance the Salsa? " LOL! And yes, I've seen these infomercials and think the same thing. They're ridiculous because the side effects are enough to scare anyone in to never trying it. I love the graphic you designed for FIATO! Especially the last one of the couple dancing and passing gas. LOL!

    Thank you for the funnies, Ron. Have a wonderful rest of your week! xo

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hola Denise!

    Thank you. Happy to read you like the new design. I usually change things around every 3-4 years. I took me awhile to choose a new template, but I finally decided on this one. It was actually very easy to install and customize, however, I had an issue with my Disqus comment widget working, but I finally figured out how to correct it by installing the code into the template myself.

    Ha! I couldn't resist that one about dancing the Salsa because it sounded so ridiculous, I just had to use it. I made the FIATO graphics on Canva, which is a free graphic design website. It's AWESOME!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, girl. Hope your week is well and that your work-related stuff worked out well too!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  27. Ron, you really captured the ridiculousness of these TV commercials spot on. And what's really ironic is that last night while watching the tube, I saw several of these. It's to the point now where I just ignore them. Your list of side effects was stellar! I love the divorce and bankruptcy because it's just so random.

    Your new blog design is really, really nice. Very professional looking. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Howdy Daniel!

    I had so much fun putting this post together. I actually started it last week, but kept adding to the side effects as I thought of them.

    " It's to the point now where I just ignore them."

    Me too! It's like I've become immune to them. Ha!

    Thanks. The website designer who I purchase this template from is very talented. I like her templates because they're different.

    Always nice to see your comments. Thanks for stopping by, and have a superb weekend!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  29. Divorce and bankruptcy go hand in hand!!

    Great fake infomercial. The crazy thing is, if this were a real one, I'd totally believe it. I always get a chuckle over the long list of potential side effects. Kinda reminds me of the "Happy Fun Ball" sketches on SNL. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmqeZl8OI2M

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hi Mark!

    Being a snow lover, I was BEYOND happy when we got hit with that blizzard back in December. But like you, that's all we've had so far. I'm hoping February and March bring MORE!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a great weekend!

    X to you and Tara

    ReplyDelete
  31. HA! They sure do, Mark!

    Thanks so much for sharing that link because I had never seen it before. HILARIOUS!

    Have a superb weekend, and thanks for stopping by!

    X to you and Tara

    ReplyDelete
  32. I always love it when the side effects include the thing the drug is supposed to fix. Like an antidepressant that may cause severe depression. What??

    I remember when the drug Farxiga for diabetes first started being advertised on tv and the ad ended with "Ask your doctor for the pill that start with an F." What the hell kind of tag like is that? I just looked it up and an article about that ad said, "AstraZeneca's Farxiga campaign plays on 'F-words' for fresh and fun engagement." Uh, no. That's just dumb.

    ReplyDelete
  33. "I always love it when the side effects include the thing the drug is supposed to fix. Like an antidepressant that may cause severe depression. What??"

    HA! YES....that is soooooooooooooooo true!!!!!

    "What the hell kind of tag like is that? I just looked it up and an article about that ad said, "AstraZeneca's Farxiga campaign plays on 'F-words' for fresh and fun engagement." Uh, no. That's just dumb."

    OMG...that is HILARIOUS! I've not heard of that drug, but since you mentioned it, I'll have to google it to see!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and adding your insight and humor!

    X

    ReplyDelete

I moderate all comments before publishing. Thank you for stopping by.