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My dear friend, Kelly, sent me a text about three weeks ago with a YouTube video link that she thought I would enjoy. And she was right, I did. Kelly and I share a very intuitive friendship in that we always seem to text each other at the exact moment we think of each other. It's uncanny. We have a "sixth sense" in knowing when to make contact. When we first met while working together starting in 2015, we instantly knew that we had a connection and that our friendship would continue even after we moved on to other jobs. We don't see each other all the time, but when we do, there is no space between the last time we met for coffee or lunch. Our friendship remains close regardless of going several months without seeing each other. Our friendship is deep yet, relaxed. 

What touched me most about the video was a quote by Carl Jung, which I copied and pasted on a photograph I took last month. And the reason it touched me so much was that the quote was something I discovered to be true throughout my own life, particularly when it comes to things that happened to me in my childhood and teenage years that affected me while traveling into my adulthood. As a child, negative experiences can have a more substantial impact on your life as you get older. They cling to you like pieces of lint. Yet, I somehow sensed that those experiences happened to me for a reason. So in one way, I do believe I am what happened to me because those experiences can't be deleted. They happened. However, what I can do is grow from those experiences by using them to choose what I want to become now.

It's one thing to openly talk about negative experiences because that's part of the healing process. Voicing them allows you to air them out. However, it's another thing to constantly keep talking about those experiences repeatedly because then I believe you give away your power to them. You start using those experiences to validate why you can't move forward. They become a crutch. You become a victim. And that's where you stay. A victim of your past.

Yes, it's essential to talk openly about negative experiences as long as you don't remain there. The key is to move on and change how you identify yourself through your own eyes. 

Even at my age, 66, I am still finding pieces of lint from my past that I am making peace with. In fact, over the past six months, I've been accepting and letting go of things that used to weigh me down. And in doing so, I feel lighter. And in doing so, I also feel tremendous gratitude for those experiences because I see them in a completely different light. 

I see the why.

In all honesty, I wouldn't change a single thing about my life's journey. Nor do I have any regrets.

I believe that my life is happening as it should, including negative experiences. 

But I can decide. 

Do I stay there? Or do I use them to choose what I want to become?

It's ultimately my choice. 


Have a beautiful rest of your week, everyone!
💗


28 comments:

  1. Amen to your attitude!! At times I can still feel the grudge I hold on to from my youth, but once I tell myself 100 years from now it will make no difference, I let go of the negative and concentrate on the "now".

    Your post today is poignant in terms we should all follow the wisdom of your chosen quote. Well done. I applaud your strength!!

    http://hootin--anni.blogspot.com

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  2. Amen, Ron!!! You’re so right about the need to let go of bad experiences. I can think of a couple of people in my life who just can’t move past them. One is my husband’s sister (the only sister he has a relationship with). While I empathize with her and all the troubles she’s seen, it’s exhausting to be around her for any length of time, because you just know she’ll inevitably bring up family issues from 20-50 years ago! My husband finally told her that he just couldn’t talk about it anymore because it puts him in a dark place.

    I’m so glad you are experiencing this lifting off of the weight of the past. May your journey continue! XO

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  3. Anni, I absolutely LOVE what you shared here...

    "At times I can still feel the grudge I hold on to from my youth, but once I tell myself 100 years from now it will make no difference, I let go of the negative and concentrate on the "now"."

    Yes! Yes! Yes! Isn't it something how we sometimes focus our attention on the past and the future yet, overlook the NOW? And that's something I have to remind myself of quite often.

    Isn't the quote so inspiring? The second I read it, it hit home for me.

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, my friend. And thanks for your contribution on this topic.

    X

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  4. Yes, I too can think of several people in my life who can't move past things that happened to them in their past, specifically my older sister and brother. The three of us all went through the same experience in our childhood. And as challenging as it was, I knew when I was in my early 30's that I needed to make peace with it. However, my two siblings are still holding onto that experience. And bitterly.

    Thank you for your sweet, encouraging words. Over the past six months, I've had some really powerful growth spirts when it comes to my childhood that have left me feeling lighter and even more grateful for my past, allowing me to live more in the now.

    Have a faaaaaabulous week, my friend. And thanks for sharing!

    X

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  5. Ron, as others have expressed in their comments, AMEN to your attitude! Your words are so inspiring. And so much so that I read this post twice. I also plan on forwarding it to certain people who I feel would benefit from your attitude.

    "Yes, it's essential to talk openly about negative experiences as long as you don't remain there. The key is to move on and change how you identify yourself through your own eyes." -- I totally agree! And isn't it something how when we finally change how we look at ourselves through our own eyes, it immediately changes how other people see us?

    Thank you for this post today, Ron. xo

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  6. Morning Candice!

    I too was very inspired when I read the quote because it was a reminder to me that we have a choice in what we do with negative experiences, particularly those from our childhood. Do we stay there, or do we move forward?

    "And isn't it something how when we finally change how we look at ourselves through our own eyes, it immediately changes how other people see us?"

    OMG, yes....it sure is!!! What ultimately matters is how we view ourselves. And like you said, it changes how other people see us.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing on this topic, Candice! Have a terrific week!

    X

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  7. Such a well-written and expressed post, Ron! And it comes at such a great time in my life because I am literally going through this at the moment with a close friend. He continually talks about things in his past and say's that he wants to move on, but he just stays there. I love him dearly, but I'm at a point where I need to say something because I can't listen to it anymore. But I want to say it in a way that won't make it worse. Your words here have given me a way to say it, so thank you.

    What you said about using negative experiences to validate why you can't move forward is so true. They become an excuse. Talking about things is a good thing, but in excess, talking about it becomes an addiction because of the sympathy you get from others, so you just keep repeating it and never move on.

    Thanks for sharing, Ron. I've always believed that when we share what we've learned about life, we assist others to grow as well.

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  8. Holding onto a grudge or hurt for way too long is what so many of us have done, myself included.

    Yes, it's essential to talk openly about negative experiences as long as you don't remain there. The key is to move on and change how you identify yourself through your own eyes.


    This advice is right on the mark, Ron, and I have found that letting of negativity or hurt feelings has made me feel better and able to move onto other things that bring me joy.

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  9. So wonderful finding such a deep connection to another human being, Ron! You and Kelly are to be commended for putting in the effort to nurture your friendship, regardless of time and distance.


    This is a great quote! I can't think of a single person alive who hasn't had difficulties to live through. But remaining stuck in the emotions from the past never solved anything in the present. It's much more advisable to glean what we can from our past and then to move on. The feeling of lightness is well worth the effort!


    Have a wonderful rest-of-your-week. Are you getting that heat wave?? xx

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  10. Hey there, Daniel!

    I know what you mean about saying something to someone else and being careful not to make matters worse because I've been there myself. But I also think that eventually it needs to be said because you can only listen to the negativity for so long before it starts bring you down.

    I really love what you said here...

    "Talking about things is a good thing. But in excess, talking about them becomes an addiction because of the sympathy you get from others, so you just keep repeating it and never move on."

    Yes, I think you're absolutely right. Often times negative experiences become addiction in the way you repeated speak about them, keeping you hostage to the experience.

    I agree, think sharing things that we've learned helps other's who might be learning the same things.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing, Daniel! Have a grrrrrrreat rest of your week!

    X

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  11. Helloooooooooooo there, D!

    Me too. And I discovered that holding onto them only magnifies the pain you feel in not letting them go and moving on. As I shared, I think it's healthy to voice your feelings about an experience you might have had in your life because it's part of the healing process. But to consistently return to those experiences and relive them over and over again by talking about them, keeps you a prisoner.

    "I have found that letting of negativity or hurt feelings has made me feel better and able to move onto other things that bring me joy."

    Yes! Yes! Yes! And thank you for sharing that.

    Thanks for stopping by and sharing your insight on this topic. Very much appreciated!

    Have a faaaaaaabulous week, D!

    X

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  12. Debbie, I can't thank you enough for sharing your wisdom in your comment about this topic. You've added much!

    God, I LOVE this...

    "It's much more advisable to glean what we can from our past and then to move on. The feeling of lightness is well worth the effort!"

    You said it, my friend! I think it's important to glean what can from our past (and be grateful for it), but then move on. I see my life as one continues lesson that gives me the wisdom to live in the now.

    And yes, I am very grateful for my friendship with Kelly. We immediately had a "connection" when we met. And it's the only time in my career when I could work with someone on a professional level, but then hang out as "friends" on our day's away from work. And never did the two interfere with each other.

    And OMG, yes!!!!!!! We got blasted with that heatwave last week. Yesterday was the hottest though. Today it's not too bad. This is what happens every year. As soon as May gets here, it goes immediately to SUMMER. However, I'm not to bitch and moan about it, I'm going to embrace it and find the JOY in Summer (although I truly hate Summer) LOL!!!!

    Have a fab week, my friend. And thanks a bunch for adding your wise insight to this post topic.

    X

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  13. Ron, your friendship with Kelly sounds a lot like my friendship with girlfriend. She and I have known each other for almost 15 years. We don't see each other all the time, but we are there for each other if need be. I like friendships like that because we don't have to check up each other everyday to stay close. We are close. On a deep yet relaxed level.

    Wonderful post! I admire how you were able to express yourself in relatively very few words yet, you said a lot.

    Agree! Living in the past is such a waste of time. Sure, we can learn a great deal from our past experiences, but then we need to take those lessons and move on. I also think constantly reliving (and talking about) past experiences is so draining. And I think it keeps whatever pain your experienced alive.

    Like you said, "Do I stay there? Or do I use them to choose what I want to become? It's ultimately my choice."

    So true!

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  14. Hiya, Clair!

    Your friendship with your friend sounds A LOT like my friendship with Kelly.

    "I like friendships like that because we don't have to check up each other everyday to stay close. We are close."

    Me too! I'm not a needy person, and neither is Kelly. Our friendship is a combination of having deep conversations, mixed with a lot of humor and laughter. We also have the same sense of humor.

    " I also think constantly reliving (and talking about) past experiences is so draining. And I think it keeps whatever pain your experienced alive."

    You're so right, it DOES keep whatever pain your experienced from the experience, alive.

    Thanks so much for taking the time to share your insight on this topic. Muchly appreciated!

    Have a great rest of your week!

    X

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  15. Ron, I always enjoy the posts you share about things that you've learned about life because they really help me to see things from a healthier perspective. I was talking with a friend of mine a few weeks ago and he was talking about things that he regretted - things he's done, choices he's made, thing's that he said. My attitude has always been that I can't change anything I've done in the past, but what I can do is learn from all the choices I've made that may not have been the best at that time. As long as I learned something from my choices, I don't think there is any reason for me to regret. Regret seems to be another thing that keeps you hostage to your past, do you know what I mean?

    "I believe that my life is happening as it should, including negative experiences." Me too!

    Thanks for sharing, dude!

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  16. Hiya Matt!

    "...what I can do is learn from all the choices I've made that may not have been the best at that time. As long as I learned something from my choices, I don't think there is any reason for me to regret. Regret seems to be another thing that keeps you hostage to your past, do you know what I mean?"

    Yes, I certainly do know what you mean and I agree 100%! And I also don't believe that anything is a mistake because as long as I learned something, there can be no mistakes.

    I once read a quote online that read: "There are no mistakes or failures, only lessons." But the deal is to learn the lessons.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your wonderful insight to this topic! Have a most excellent week, Matt!

    X

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  17. Thanks for sharing that quote, Ron. It's so true!

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  18. Isn't it a great quote? I can't remember when or where I found it, but when I did, it definitely was something I felt in sync with.

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  19. Ron, I read your post yesterday but wanted to check out the video link before I left my comment. Loved it! It's truly our perception and perspective that influences how we react and feel about everything we experience. And like the quote says, we can choose want we want to become through those experiences. We have a choice. And if we see it that way, we have the power to reprogram what we experienced in how we live now.

    But living in the past only keeps us there.

    Thank you for sharing, Ron. Inspiring post! xo

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  20. Hola Denise!

    Glad you enjoyed the video. I watched it many times and found something inspiring every time I watched it.

    "It's truly our perception and perspective that influences how we react and feel about everything we experience."

    YES....you are so right, it is!!! And like you shared, we do have choice. And we see it that way, it gives us the ability to reprogram what we experienced and use it to live positively in the NOW. Those experiences can actually empower us instead of depowering us if we use them to learn.

    Thanks so much for stopping and sharing your insight on this topic, Denise. You've added much!

    Have a fantastic weekend!
    X

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  21. Hey, Ron, what a coincidence! I recently became interested in Carl Jung myself.

    He developed the concept of the shadow self that describes those aspects of our personality we chose to reject and repress.

    And I love that quote about being what you choose to become. I admire how you have adopted that code and how you're not letting the past weigh you down.

    To be honest I'm having trouble staying on the path. If I'm not careful, some awful memory from years (decades!) ago will intrude into the present.

    I know I have to stop giving so much power to the past, but it's going to take a lot of work to deprogram myself.

    The sooner I start the better. After all, I'm not getting any Jung-er.

    Take care, buddy.

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  22. Hey, Rob!

    What a coincidence indeed! To be honest, I haven't read much about Jung until my friend sent me the video and I saw the quote. I will have to investigate his concept of the shadow self because years ago I learned about the value in acknowledging our shadow side. By acknowledging it, it brings it to light. By denying it, it weighs us down. Like everything we experience in our lives, I believe the shadow is there to teach us more about ourselves and moving on.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing on this topic! Muchly appreciate it.

    Have a great rest of your weekend!

    X

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  23. Hello, Ron! I was going to comment after watching the video... but what's weird is when I clicked on the link earlier, I'd apparently started that video before... you know when you return to something on YouTube and it picks up where you left off. Can't remember when I started it though... months, year or more? LOL I really, really do need to get back to things like this... because I'm struggling with a few situations and have been for a while. A couple of years, actually. Certainly, unconscious behaviors are at play, but I'm recognizing some of my old patterns. Well, knowing it's happening does offer some hope then, right! LOL. Reprogramming sounds like just what I need!! Repeating new, positive, conscious thoughts to move away from the struggle and towards the peace seems attainable! Ok, hmm... well... talk to me in a month and we'll see if any old records are still playing. haha!

    Your attitude is always very positive, Ron! I love how you do the work to bring yourself back to center and live the life you want to live.

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  24. "...but what's weird is when I clicked on the link earlier, I'd apparently started that video before... you know when you return to something on YouTube and it picks up where you left off. Can't remember when I started it though... months, year or more? LOL"

    OMG Mary, that's happened to me before as well, and it freaks me out because I can never remember WHEN I initially watched it?!? And sometimes I think I NEVER watched it, but wonder how that happened?!

    "I'm struggling with a few situations and have been for a while. A couple of years, actually. Certainly, unconscious behaviors are at play, but I'm recognizing some of my old patterns. "

    And me as well. I have to really stay "aware" of my thoughts and how I feel when I'm going through something that feels as though it's dredging up old stuff from my past. I've gotten to a point in my life where I can sense that immediately and know that I need to let go because it's an old tape from my past. It's an ongoing thing for me, but I'm getting better at catching it faster and faster and reprograming my thoughts.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your insight on this topic, my friend You've added much!

    Have a faaaaaaaaaabulous week!

    X

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  25. Ron, this is such an insightful and very truthful post. Like you, I still find peices of lint from my past that I am making peace with. Isn't it something how potent our past experiences from our childhood are? They are like old tape recordings that play over and over in our minds.

    I too don't have any regrets because that in itself keeps us attached to our past. As you shared, as long as we learn from them they're are no mistakes; nothing to regret.

    Thank you for sharing your journey with us, Ron. I admire the way you can look at your life and see what needs to be addressed and released.

    How you're having a great week, sir! xo

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  26. Hellooooooooo there, Elaine!

    " Isn't it something how potent our past experiences from our childhood are? They are like old tape recordings that play over and over in our minds."


    OMG...YES!!!! You said it right when you said 'like old tape recordings" because that's what they are...old tapes.

    Happy to hear that you don't have any regrets because they too keep us attached to the past. I don't know why or how, but I've never been one to have regrets. I certainly have not been perfect in anyway, however, I don't regret choices that I made in my life because I learn something from every choice I make.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your perspective on this topic. I really appreciate that!

    Hope you're having a great week too!

    X

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  27. Ron, I saw a wonderful quote one time that read: "Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience."

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  28. Elaine, I freaking LOVE that quote!!!! Brilliant! And I agree, 100%.

    Thanks sooooooooooooooo much for stopping back and sharing it!

    X

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