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A few days ago, right before work, I decided to run into my favorite java spot and grab an extra large cup of coffee, so that my hands and lips would begin to shake and my heart would feel as though it was blowing out of my chest, in order for me to deal with the rude-ass patrons who have nothing better to do, than to come into the store and deposit their negative energy.

Caffeine is my personal drug of choice. It's legal, and it makes me feel at peace.

I was running a bit late, so my patience level was not too high to begin with. The woman in front of me seemed very nice, but she could not for the life of her, decide between getting a bagel with cream cheese, a chocolate muffin, a breakfast sandwich, a piece of carrot cake, or for the sake of her diet, a fat-free biscotti. legs were starting to twitch.

She finally made the excruciating decision to purchase (three) fat-free biscotti's.

(Good for her. Restraint.)

She then proceeded to order her beverage. And what came out of her mouth, seemed to me, like a psychotic episode.

"Yes...I'll have a double latte, mocha-mocha, single shot of espresso, with a dolce vanilla chaser, and a non-fat foamy cappuccino alfredo spritzer, with a carmel mackie davis, and a triple bypass with some chocolate shavings."

I'm thinking, Shit...why didn't you just say, "Give me the whole friggin' coffee bar and let's call it a day????"

I stood there with my mouth open, trying to figure out what the hell language this woman just spoke!

And the freakish thing, was that the barista knew exactly what she meant!

As I approached the counter to order next, I felt like a total foreigner asking for a cup with some plain coffee in it.

When I went over to the condiments bar to add my half and half, I couldn't resist looking over at her, just to see what the hell this mind-blowing creation looked like.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

It was a cup of foam.

And it only cost her $5.85

1 comment:

  1. LOL!!! Cup full of foam!!

    I get irritated by morbidly obese people ordering tripple everything in Mcdonalds, the most fattening greasy foods, and then ending it with.... 'and a diet coke.'

    Like as if THAT is gonna help them avoid getting fatter!!! LOL
    :-P xx