My Sneakers will get Dirty

I have no idea what made me think of this particular childhood memory the other evening, but I felt the need to share it with you...

Apparently, I was showing signs of my “OCD gene” at a very early age.

(like 6)

It was a tradition in my family, that every season, my mother would take my sister, brother, and I to the Ked’s Shoe Store, where we each got to pick out our very own summer sneakers.

(I ALWAYS got a pair of navy blue, that had a white rubber toe)

This to me, was one of the most exciting things that could ever happen to me.

(that…and also when I discover farting, while taking a bath…I felt like a human Jacuzzi)

Anyway, after we got our new sneakers one summer, my mother took us to feed the ducks at the pond.

I guess it had rained the previous evening, because the ground was still damp.

After she stopped the car, my brother and sister immediately bounced out with their bread bags, and headed straight for the duck pond. However, I on the other hand, had no intention of allowing DIRT to touch the soles of my new Ked’s.

So there was my mother, holding the door open, while I sat in the back seat with my legs sticking straight out (like a board), with an OCD panic on my face…refusing to make contact with the earth.

“Ronnie, please get out of the car.”

“No, I can‘t…my sneakers will get dirty.”

“Ronnie, please get out of the car, that‘s ridiculous”

(I began to cry)

“Noooo, I can’t…my sneakers will get dirty.”

“Ronnie, plea..”

“NO!”

(I ‘m surprised I didn’t ask her to carry me to the pond)

Finally, she just gave up and said that I could just sit in the car by myself.

So she closed the door and there I sat…peering out the widow, watching everyone have fun feeding the ducks.

But deep down inside, I really didn’t care….

Cause my friggin’ Ked’s…were DIRT-FREE!!!!


36 comments

  1. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA oh Ronnie this is SOOOOO Freaken adorable!!!! :-D

    If I were your mumma I woulda smuthered ya in kisses coz you were so damn cute!!!

    *GiGGLeS*

    I've had serious OCD problems all my life tooooooooooo!!!

    xx

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  2. Whyohwhyohwhy does noooo one in my family have OCD??? Around here I think we're stricken with WFC. (who frickin' cares)
    As for clothes getting dirty, it's like the second any one of us gets something new there's a situation waiting to happen. New pants... one of the dogs jumps up for a greeting and of course it's just rained so they have mud paws. New shirt... I have spaghetti for dinner and a meatball falls off the fork and plops into the sauce (oops, I mean 'gravy').

    My memory of childhood shopping was going for school clothes at the Gap. I had corduroy pants in blue, gray, green, etc. with some darling plaid shirts and earth shoes. And to think an ensemble like that was actually acceptable. Come to think of it, my wardrobe isn't much better these days.
    I've already been caught by a neighbor wearing slippers while taking my son to school.
    Hey, does Neiman Marcus deliver??

    Happy week Ron! :)

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  3. Human jacuzzi? Nice. I have two boys who would LOVE that anaology. You just made their day!

    I wore keds too. I had lots of different colors to match my different outfits...and fun different colored shoelaces also. Thanks for reminding me of those memories!

    Your OCD at such a young age cracked me up. Surprised your mom wasn't worried about your shoes getting dirty...I'm always worried about that when they get brand new shoes.

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  4. "Does your shoe have a boy inside? What a funny place for a boy to hide! ..."

    Your story reminded me of Buster Brown shoes and PF Flyers! LOL

    My OCD didn't develop until later and my white Keds were always filthy and had holes - the dirtier & holier the better! I did love to feed the ducks, though.

    Thanks for the memories, Ron!

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  5. Good Morning VBF!!!

    I think at times...my mother wanted to smuther me with a PLLOW!

    I was quite the "insane child"

    Every once and a while, she and I will get on the phone and start talking about all the lovely things I did as a child....and LAUGH!!!

    (of course, we weren't laughing THEN!)

    But I enjoy being insane!

    tee- hee!

    Hope you have a wonderful day, my friend. And thanks for stopping by today!

    (and remember...don't get any dirt on your sneakers)

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  6. Hi Ron,
    This is funny!!
    You sooooo sound like my 5 year old son. He is very freaky about dirt. Once I was visiting a friend for a sort of "playdate" (she has 10, TEN kids who are used to real play, not the controlled play that goes on in my house). Anyways, my friends kids were outside making mud pies and accidentally dropped some mud on my son's shoe. He had a meltdown right then and there. I mean, hysterical crying, freaking out that mud was on his shoe and had seeped through the sandal onto his toes. I had to wash his feet in her bathroom sink.
    This is just one of his many incedents.
    We have a duck pond close to our house and for my son.....well, he cannot stand to walk in the duck poop. My husband usually ends up carrying him just so that he will stop whining and crying about it.

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  7. Morning Miss Nitebyrd~

    OOOOOOH....I TOTALY forgot about Buster Brown Shoes, until you just mentioned them!

    And that's right...there WAS a little boy inside!

    And I remember thinking how horrible it was to have to step on his face everyday!!!

    And PF Flyers!!! My brother had a pair of THOSE!! I even remember the commercials for them!

    Yes...and feeding the ducks. How fun was that? Weren't the SIMPLE litte things....so GRAND?

    (of course, I always thought they were going to bite me!)

    Thank YOU for the memories too, dear Nitebyrd!

    Ok...let's put on our PF's...and FLY!!!

    Enjoy your Monday!

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  8. Mornin' Rhea~

    Hey...I LOVE the new avatar!

    "Deep in the heart...of Texas"

    Yes...what is it with boys and GAS? It's like discovering a new entertainment. And in the bath tub...WOOOOO!

    Oh...how wonderful...you had different color KEDS??? And yes...I do remember the different color shoelaces!!! Wasn't that NEAT?

    It's so funny, because my mother is more of a "tom boy type lady"...so dirty sneakers to her were..."Oh, well...that's cool!"

    I was the ONE in the family, scrubbing my white rubber sneaker tips, with WINDEX!

    Oy Vey...what's a child to do?

    Great seeing ya, Rhea!!!!!

    Hope you're having a great Monday!

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  9. Hellooooo Crystal Chick!

    That's HYSTERICAL....WFC (who frick'in cares)!!!!

    Actually...the older I get...the more I'm developing WFC! What's a little DIRT on my clothes, ya know?

    (ooohh...did I say that?)

    Are you Italian? I had to laugh at the "gravy" correction. I'm full-blown Italian...and I know that the "proper" word is gravy...but in my family, we always called it "sauce"...I don't know why?

    (don't ya, LOVE italian food?)

    Wooo...wooo...and the GAP!! Yes, me too! I had the "Gap-Look" at one time. In fact that's all I ever wore in Florida. It's casual and simple. I like simple.

    (and I like to wear things made of cotton)

    Yes...I believe Neiman's has a 24hour delivery service!!!!

    (FEDEX too!)

    ha!

    Great seeing ya, M.

    You've started my Monday morning with a hearty LAUGH.

    Thanks!!!!

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  10. Am I Italian?
    I thought I had a little Italian in me, but turns out he was just visiting for the weekend. ;)
    OMG
    you are such a bad influence on me.
    I cannot believe that I just said THAT. I must go medicate right away before this spreads.

    Signed,
    A German and Irish gal with a potty mouth.

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  11. Oh my God, Nicole....

    Is your son's name....RONNIE???

    Man...you made me laugh!! Because he sounds JUST like ME!!!

    I know how the "little guy" feels.

    I often wonder why some of us are like this, ya know?

    Sometimes I feel like I have the "Joan Crawford Gene."

    "I'm not made at YOU, Carol-Ann...I'm mad at the DIRT!"

    (that's a line from the movie, Mommy Dearest)

    Oh...how cool that you have a duck pond by your house!

    And that's so cute that he's doesn't want to step in the duck poop!

    (I can't blame him)

    tee- hee!

    Thanks for sharing this wonderful family story, Nicole!!

    It made me SMILE and LAUGH!

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  12. ~giggle~
    ~ROTFLMAO~
    If I had been your mother i would have told you to take the stupid shoes off and go barefoot, but watch out for the duck shit.
    God love you, what a riot!

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  13. Crystal Chick!!!

    Mother of god....how FUNNY was THAT??????

    And I'M a bad influence on YOU???

    That was PRICELESS!!!!

    Hey...you can "potty mouth" here anytime....

    I like to have a "POTTY"!

    Thanks for the wonderful LAUGHS!!

    P.S. My step-mother is Irish and German too!

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  14. My hub's name is Ron, my son's name is Ron. He's not a junior tho. And some people call them Ronnie. I'm in good company! :)

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  15. Mornin' Lady Sorrow~

    HEY...you're NOT going to believe this....

    But, when I called my mother last week, so that she could remind me of all the "details" of this family story...guess what she said?

    "Why the HEll didn't I just make you take you're DAMN sneakers off and go barefoot?!?!"

    (no lie)

    She and I laughed our butts off remembering this OCD moment in my life!!!!

    Not only that...but she also told me of some "stuff" I use to do, that I totally forgot about!

    (I guess I also have "selective memory syndrome")

    (but I'll save that for another post)

    God love YOU, dear Sorrow! And thanks so much for dropping in today!

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  16. Oh that's a great story and I can understand why you didn't want to get your new sneakers dirty.

    Ron I find it very hard to believe you fart, you're such a gentleman! ;)

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  17. Hi Ron,
    No my son's name is not Ronnie, but hey, it's never too late to change his name.
    I decided a few years ago that my son is going to be a huge pain in the ass to somebody when he grows up.
    He is most definitely a 5 year old version of a perfectionist. It scares me sometimes.
    He has to color perfectly, always in the lines and he always must complete the entire page before he can move on. He divides things up and puts them in rows. Like when he wants to play matchbox cars, he will choose the ones he wants, and then line them all up facing the same direction, sorted by color before he starts to play. And I had to buy special plates for him with dividers because his food cannot touch. They plates have 3 spaces, so if I for example make spaghetti and salad, which is only 2 things, leaving one space empty, it bothers him. He will talk about the empty space on his plate all through the meal.
    One of the funniest/scariest things he did recently was when we were in his pediatrician's waiting room. They had two rows of chairs set up back to back. One row was all red chairs and one row was all blue chairs, except for that the chair on the end were reversed. So we had a row with all blue chairs and one red chair on the end, and vice versa. This bothered him to no end. He could not stop talking about it. I finally asked him to go fix the chairs, and he did.
    sigh....yes, he is going to be a huge pain in the ass to someone when he grows up.

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  18. This was wonderful Ron..I can just see you in the car!

    I had to wear saddle oxfords..ugh! I remember one year I wanted a cute but very unpractical sandals with a flower on them. Of course, it was saddle oxfords again.:O
    I think this is why I have WAY too many pairs of shoes now!! hee, hee

    You could feed ducks in them..hell you could drive the car over them and they would polish up! That is what I hated about them...they wouldn't die!!

    Loved the memories..and the post!. I think I'll go put some high heels on and wear them while I sip my glass of wine!!

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  19. SEE!
    Great MOM's Think alike!
    Give your a HUg for me!

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  20. Evening Akelamalu~

    Thank you!

    It's good to know that there others who feel the same way about getting their sneakers DIRTY!!

    And yes, dear lady...I do pass gas...

    But I promise you...it's done VERY gentlemanly!

    tee, hee!

    Good seeing ya, today. Thanks for stopping by!

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  21. Hellooooo Crystal Chick~

    Oh, WOW... you have TWO Ron's in your family?????

    Ron-Ron!

    I'm technically, Ronald. My mother named me after the actor, Ronald Coleman.

    (I'm very dramatic in case you haven't noticed)

    And then like, YOUR Ron's...some people call me Ronnie too.

    My step-mother calls me Ronaldo. And my father use to call me, Rasputin!!!

    (can you believe that...Rasputin??)

    As a child, I always wanted to change it to something different... but then, as I got older I learned to really enjoy it!

    In my next life...I'm coming back as a Michael. For some reason, I've always loved that name.

    Good seeing ya, again, M!

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  22. Evening Lady Sorrow!!

    SEE!

    GREAT mom's DO think alike!!!

    I'll hug her for you, the next time I see her!

    Thanks for stopping by again. Enjoy your night!

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  23. Evening Dearest Gypsy-Heart~

    ooooh...saddle shoes...that's what ALL the girls had to wear in the catholic grammar school I attended.

    (along with a dark GREEN uniform)

    The boys...plain black laced dress shoes and a dark GREEN neck tie!

    (it's not that easy being GREEN)

    I know of so many ladies who just LOVE shoes too. In the store where I work...the ladies shoe department has a HUGE selection of wonderful shoes. It's like a Shoe Fetishes DREAM!!!

    Hey...enjoy your heels and VINO tonight!

    (Pinot Noir goes nice with heels)

    So glad you enjoyed the post...and thank you for leaving your awesome "energy" here, dear Heart!

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  24. Howdy Nicole~

    WOW....with his sense of "detail"...he sounds like he's going to be a GREAT air traffic controller!

    I read a blog once, where a mother was saying how her daughter couldn't STAND when her food touched each other on the dinner plate. So maybe it's something that some children go through when their younger.

    Your little guy sounds like he's just sensitive to things (as I am). And as strange as this may sound...as he gets older...he may just discover a wonderful way to put it to good use!

    He sounds VERY smart and aware!

    Thanks so much for stopping back and sharing, Nicole. It's always a pleasure talking to you!

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  25. No Keds here. It was black Converse All Stars and later it became Vans.

    My two boys are polar opposites when it comes to dirt. The oldest is much like you were. "Dirt is evil!" The youngest could walk into a clean room environment at Intel and come out looking like he'd been in a wrestling match with a herd of goats.

    And don't you feel bad for being such a bad influence on Mary?

    ...Yeah riiiiight!

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  26. Howdy Mr. Jeff~

    Yes...I feel SOOOOOOO bad for being a bad influence on Mary.

    (I'm a DEMON)

    Hey....Converse...I also had a pair of those when I got a little older. They were like how, NIKE are today!

    (you HAD to have them!)

    Oh...you made me laugh about how your youngest son, looking like he'd been in a wrestling match with a herd of goats!!!

    Hey...stop back later, to see what Mary has to say!!!

    Tee, hee!

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  27. Gawd... now I'm under such pressure. Can't I just be plain and boring. This FABULOUS and FUNNY stuff is just too damn hard.
    Anyhoo....
    My FIL is a Ronald. When they adopted my hubby mumsieIL wanted to name him Andre. WTF? But he said no way. Probably more like... no F&%&ing way. So they agreed on Ronald Andrew. When my son was born, we didn't like the whole junior thing so we went with Ronald Edward because my Daddys name was Ed. He would have had an Edward of his own, but the little guy died only hours after birth. Then I was born and I remember my Mom telling me they considered 'EDWINA'. Oh good goddess, you would have found me dangling in my closet one day after Kindergarten. Can you imagine how the kids would have teased. Luckily, they went with Mary Catherine, you know, after a Nun! And strangely, I turned out much more like the name Edwina... a little strange, a bit different.

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  28. Ronnie Ronnie Ronnie...

    COME LOOOK! :-)!!!

    Dunna nana nana nana nana nana nana RAT GiRL!!!!!!!!!!

    *GiGGLeS*

    xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  29. <---grumblin' cuz once AGAIN Moofie ate my comment....*grumbling*


    Holes, dirt and worn to the Nth degree.....I was hard pressed to surrender my sneaks.
    Gosh, they'd JUST gotten comfy!

    Nope, no OCD here.
    Thank GOODNESS!
    I seem to be surrounded by 'em though....LOL
    Whatever have I done in this lifetime to be soooooooo graced? LOL

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  30. This totally sounds like my son, he hates to be dirty, or for his clothes to be dirty.

    Thanks for sharing.

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  31. Hi again, Bek~

    OMG...you mean there's MORE like me around????

    As I've gotten older...it seems to not bother me as much.

    (probably because I would need my reading glasses to SEE the dirt now)

    Tee, hee!

    Thank for stopping by!

    So meeting nice you!

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  32. Howdy Mel!

    Oh...DAMN...that keeps happening to me TOO!

    Last night I left a LONG comment on someone elses blog, and it ATE the entire thing...oh, man...was I pissed!

    What's up with Blogger???

    I've gotten to the point where I sometimes just type the comment on Note Pad...and then paste it!

    (you know...OCD)

    Hey...I hear ya, on the COMFY stage of the sneakers. I LOVE when they get that way too. It's like they just form to your feet. I actually have a pair like that!

    LOVE em!

    Thanks for stopping by today, dear Mel...it's always nice seeing you!

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  33. Helloooo Giggle!

    (I love saying your new name!)

    Ok...I'll be over later this evening to check it out!!!

    Can't wait!

    Thanks for stopping by to let me know!

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  34. Evening Mary~

    You ARE FUNNY and FABULOUS!!!

    Everyone is, who comes here!

    (it's manditory)

    tee, hee!

    That's so interesting about your family's names.

    EDWINA?

    I kind of like that, actually...but I DO know what you mean about the kids teasing at school.

    (I was tortured)

    Oh...you make me laugh, with Mary Catherine being a NUN'S name...cause you're so right!

    Ok...so, can I go to the lavatory Sister Mary Catherine?

    NO RONNIE! Not until you say the rosary!

    GREAT talking you today, SISTER. Always a BLAST!

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  35. Ha...I was to told I was a kid that would do about anything and getting dirty/muddy was one of them. I would dance in the back yard as it rained till I was wet through and through, but when it came to school, I was very proper and would not join in any activities that would dirty up my clothes, except fore that one time I got in a fight and beat up a boy for picking on my little brother.

    I was more upset my dress was dirty and my shoes were scuffed then being in trouble with the play ground teacher.

    So I agree with you...somewhat. hehehe.

    This is a cute post, Ron...I love it.

    Ciao babes.

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  36. Howdy Spiky!

    Hey...I'm STILL laughing over your post that I read last night...it was freaking FABULOUS!

    You sound just like my mom! It's never really bothered her to get dirty...except, like you...if she's dressed for a special occassion.

    And like YOU....she could beat the SHIT out of any guy...and WIN!

    Hey...one of your nice readers came over and paid me a visit today (Bek). It was nice meeting her!

    So good seeing ya, Spiky!

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