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God help anyone who ever decides to throw a surprise party for me!

I can’t stand surprise parties, because they freak the living hell out of me.


The thought of walking into a room filled with 20 people all hiding in closets and behind furniture; getting ready to jump out at me, wearing stupid-ass party hats and screaming SURPRISE!!!…makes me want to run away and vomit.

For some sick and psychological Sigmund Freud reason…I get very embarrassed and shy.

And anyone who has ever tried to throw a surprise party for me, I’ve ruined it.

YES… Ruined it!!

One of the things that I now tell my closest friends, is that if they should ever decide to throw a party for me (for whatever reason) DO NOT, I repeat…DO NOT make it a surprise or I will make the experience miserable for them.

(I’m evil…and I don’t care)

I would much rather they just tell me about the party, so I can walk in like a normal human being and they can just shower me with all the fabulous gifts.


Anyway…many, many years ago, when I was moving from Florida to New York City to pursue a famous acting career, my friends decided to surprise me with a going-away party.

Well, let me tell you…THEY were the ones who got the surprise!

I tortured one of my friends to death, until she told me the truth about the party, but she made me swear on a stack of bibles to never tell on her.

(I swore…but knew that I was telling her a bold-face lie and would someday burn in hell)

So…on the eve of the party, when it was planned that I would meet another friend at her house, and we would then go out to a night club for some retched pina colada’s…I devised a scheme.

I arrived on time, however, when I got out of my car (and I knew that they were all inside getting ready to hide) I proceeded to walk around to the back of the house and enter through the sliding glass doors.

I crept slowly and ever-so-quietly through the den, and then made my way to the living room, where I knew they all were.

And on the silent count of three…I jumped into the room and screamed, “SURPRISE!!!!”

(I told you I was evil)


  1. That's flippin brilliant!

    I'll bet they had a look like, "What the hell are we supposed to do now?" on their faces.

    I had a suprise party for my thirtith birthday, Lisa had everyone wearing black as if they were at a wake. I absolutely loved it.

  2. lol at giving them the surprise, no one has ever tried to surprise me with a party but I did do something evil to my ex on his fortieth. he's now 54

    I made him think I was giving him a surprise party but didn't although I did get some of his friends together for a drink in his favourite pub. The funniest thing was when the landlord gave him a JD on the house and he refused to drink it because he thought it was a plot. He was convinced there was going to be a strippergram, he wanted to be sober (that was a first and last as he's an alcoholic).

  3. LOL you make me laugh Ron. :)

    I don't like surprises either, I much prefer organising them! I'm evil too. ;)

  4. Yeah.

    I'm with ya.......

    Only my reaction is to grab the guilty person, slug 'em, call 'em rude names and tell 'em how I'm going to dispose of their body.

    THAT goes over well, lemme assure ya......

    I don't 'do' the jumpin' up outta hidden places well.
    And I'm NOT sayin' where I hid the bodies....LOL

  5. I'm SO with you on that. I hate, hate, hate surprise parties. You're not evil just extremely clever at revenge. I like that.

    But ... I am terrified of clowns and the one from "IT" is horrible! MAKE IT GO AWAY! please.

  6. You are bad Ron!!!

    But I can relate.

    I hate parties for me in general, surprise or not.

    I hate being the center of attention in the room.

    I hate opening gifts in front of people and looking at their exectant faces, waiting for me to jump up and down at their fantastic and thoughtful purchase.

    This is why my husband and I eloped. I absolutely cringed at the thought of standing in front of a room of people, saying private things to my husband. And then eating cake and opening gifts.

    Maybe I am weird and this makes no sense.


    I am going out of town for a few days Ron, so have a great weekend.

    (Note to self, get in touch with Nightybird, Jeff, etc to cancel Ron's surprise party)

  7. Howdy Jeff~

    Aren't I retched??

    It's so weird, because I can get up in front of 375 people sitting in a theater watching me act, with no problem. However, surprise parties make me "SHY"....go figure!?!?

    Hey...your thirtith birthday party with eveyone dressed in black, as if they were at a wake sounded GREAT...that would have been perfect, had it been MY birthday party...because I literally would have DIED!!!


    Thanks for stopping by, buddy. Always great laughing with ya!

  8. Oh shit, Lady in Red...that was SOOO funny!!

    (however, did YOU strip for him later that evening??)

    (you don't have to answer that)

    And what's REALLY funny, is that you brought back a memory for me, when the people that I use to work with sent me a "Clown-O-Gram" for my birthday, right in the middle of my cutting a customers HAIR!!!

    I was SOOO embarrassed. I turned BEET RED!!

    (and then slapped each one of them for their gift to me)


    Thanks for stopping by today, Lady. And thanks for sharing your wonderful story!

  9. Morning Akelamalu~

    THANK YOU, dear lady!

    It's wonderful to know that I'm not the only one who doesn't like surprises...or admits to being EVIL!

    YES...I too enjoy organising them for others, yet GOD FORBID I be on the receiving end!?!?!

    GREAT seeing you today, my dear friend. Thanks for your visit!

    Your Evil Friend

  10. Morning Mel~

    Oh ALWAYS make me laugh!!!

    And that's ME too!...I want to grab the guilty person's and SLUG them, and call them RUDE names!!

    And listen...later you can email me and tell me where you hid the bodies.

    And I SWEAR...I'll never breathe a word!

    (yea, right)

    Thanks for sharing your LOVE of surprise parties, Mel. I knew I liked you!

  11. My Dearest Nitebyrd....

    The longer we get to know one another...the more I KNOW that we are siblings!

    Ok...can I just tell you how MUCH I despise CLOWNS! They TOTALLY freak me out!

    And what's REALLY funny, is that when I was choosing a photo for the end of this post...I almost hesitated placing it there, because the "IT Clown" terrifies me too. You should have seen the IMAGE I was FIRST going to you...this one is TAME!


    Next week, I may do a post on honor of you and I!

    WONDERFUL seeing you, Nitebyrd! And thanks for sharing in our mutual love of surprise parties and clowns!

    Later, sis!

  12. Helloooo Nicole!

    MUCH TOO funny!

    You know, I always thought the same thing about people getting married.

    Eloping is the way to GO!!!

    And YES!!! That's it, Nicole...I don't like being the center of attention in a room and people waiting for my reaction...

    (which is usually..."I hate you")

    And the "gift thing" is weird too. I'd much rather open the gifts later on, in the privacy of my own I can exchange them later!


    God love ya, woman!

    Oh...and thanks for telling Nitebryd, Jeff..and the others about the "surprise party thing."

    THANK YOU for stopping by, Nicole. And have a wonderful couple of days away (having your teeth cleaned).

    See ya when you return!

  13. I love dishing our surprises, but recieving - am like you!

  14. Evening Dear Casdok!

    Isn't that funny??

    Sooo many people feel the same way about receiving the SURPRISE!

    It makes me feel all red and embarrassed!?!!?

    Deep down must I be SHY....


    Great seeing ya, my friend...and that's for sharing the Surprise Party!


  15. hahaha thats fantastic!!!

    Oh god yes! I know what you mean... I can't stand surpirses and I hate to be fooled. EVen things such as people from overseas giving me a surprise visit! I get pissed off if people get a way with things with out me knowing about it! :-) xx

  16. Good Day Vi!

    oooohhh dear...I'm with YOU...NO surprise visit HOUSE GUESTS!!

    NO WAY!

    Or they'll be surprised...I won't answer the door!!


    EVIL aren't I?

    Thanks for your visit, Vi!

  17. You went in because of the gifts.. didn't you? LOL

    They tried to give me a surprise bridal shower... I almost sent a stripper ahead of me...

  18. Hi Anndi!

    Welcome...and thank you very much for stopping by to say and leaving a comment...nice to meet you!

    I think I remember seeing your avatar over at Jeff's.

    Isn't he a GREAT guy? FUNNY!!!

    Hey, I popped over to see your profile and noticed that you were a am I! October 2nd! Don't you love making a decision???

    I think that's probably WHY you and I don't like SURPRISES!! Hey, that's funny...a stripper! And YES..I DID go in ONLY to get the gifts!!

    (why lie?)

    Please stop by anytime you're always welcomed here!

    P.S. SURPRISE!!!

  19. You are truly evil!!

    I've had a surprise party thrown for me (for publishing my first short story!), and my idiot...oops, loving, sweet husband got lost on the way and I figured out where we were going and what was going on after he needed directions how to get to my friend's house. Lovely, huh?!!

  20. Hiya Rhea!

    I KNOW...aren't I the most EVIL creature on the face of this earth?


    Oh...that's VERY funny. So did you ACT surprised when you walked in?


    Hey, that's GREAT about your short story being published!!!


    Thank you for stopping by for a read, Rhea!


  21. Oh Ron...that was beautiful!! heh, heh!

    No one tells me about surprise parties anymore...I am NOT a good liar. You wouldn't even have to torture me!! First clue..I would not make eye contact! You wouldn't even have to torture me! :O

    Good vent, love!

  22. Howdy Dearest Gypsy-Heart~

    YOU and ME...BOTH!!!

    I'm really a HORRIBLE liar. My eyes show EVERYTHING!!

    And it's funny that you mentioned that, because my friend from Florida (the Capricorn)...has always said the same thing about herself...she CANNOT lie.

    Liar, liar...pants on fire!!!

    tee, hee!!

    Thanks for sharing in my SURPRISE VENT, my friend...