A Father and Sons Love

It’s been almost 15 years since my dad passed away, and yet this coming Father’s Day has been very emotional for me.


Healing is something that often occurs gradually...within it's own time...

I can honestly say that if you had met my dad, you would have falling in love with him.

Most people did.

He was handsome, charming, full of energy, and could tell a joke in such a way, that would have people rolling on the floor. He was one of those special individuals that everyone wanted as a guest at their party, because they knew he would be the life.

My dad had a sweet and very giving soul.

Everyone came to him whenever they needed help. They could call him day or night, and he would be there without question.

As a father, he was a hard worker and provided very well for his family - we never went without. His children were always given food, clothing, shelter, and education.

He was an honest and good man, who lived by tremendous integrity.

He was not a very affectionate or communicative man, however. I don’t ever remember being hugged or kissed. And it was not until much later in my life, did I understand and feel his love for me.

I always felt as though he held his love at a distance. As though he placed it on pause.

So as I got older…I began to do the same to him.

I think men sometimes underestimate the love exchange between a father and son.

A boy learns how to share love…as a man.

But as the years moved on, I was able to see why my father held on to his love.

Because the same was done to him.

During the last 9 days of my fathers life, when it seemed as though our roles had been reversed, we were somehow able to share the love that we had both held on to.

There were no words…yet our eyes and tender gestures carried the love.

And we no longer paused….

"Thank you for being my father…I love you, dad."


Happy Father’s Day Everyone!


24 comments

  1. What a beautiful, touching post, Ron.

    I lost my father very early in my life but I still think about him daily and wonder what could have been.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ahh, Ron this is a beautiful post. I am so sorry for the loss of you dad (even if I am years late saying it). Time goes by yet we still feel those losses, right?
    Oh my gosh, I know it will happen sooner or later, but I can't handle the thought of ever losing my dad. He is awesome.
    He calls me every single Sunday evening just to check on me. And everytime that I see him, he always hugs and kisses me, and tells me he loves me. Sometimes he will just sit next to me and hold my hand.
    But now that I think about it, I never see that going on with him and my brother. Maybe it is a father/son thing, to not share love openly?? I am going to have to point this out to my husband.
    I don't want that to happen with him and our boys.
    I wrote a post about my dad a year or so ago, if you are interested.
    Have a great weekend Ron.

    ReplyDelete
  3. sitting here all misty eyed...
    what a wonderful tribute !
    Now I know why you are so wonderful!
    Must have gotten it from your Dad!
    (((HUGS)))

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mornin' Miss Nitebyrd~

    Thank you my, friend!

    Yes, as you know I lost my mother at an yearly age also.

    (see...you and I really are twins!!)

    Writing this post has been such a blessing for me. It's as if I can feel him loving me, and simultaniously letting go of the hurt.

    It's all part of my healing process.

    Thank you for stopping by, dear sister!

    Have a FABU weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  5. What a wonderful, loving post, Ron! Your dad did sound like a special person, and I'm so glad the last nine years with him before he passed were more loving again!

    I have mixed feelings towards my dad, but I love him. He is elderly (had me when he was a lot older) and now lives with me and my family. It's been interesting! And good for us, I think. Out of his six kids, I'm the one he picked to live with.

    Family is interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Mornin' Nicole~

    Thank you, my friend!

    Yes, it does seem that as time goes by, we still feel the loss. I think it's because letting go takes time - it comes in stages.

    This post has been very cathartic for me. I've felt my dad's love very close to me lately, and it feels beautiful.

    OOOh...and I think that's so beautiful that your father shares his love so openly with you!!!

    I most definately will check out your post later this evening. Can't wait!

    Thanks for shaing here today, Nicole!

    Enjoy your vacation!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mornin' Lady Sorrow~

    Thank you, my friend!

    It's funny, because even to this day, whenever a family member sees me they always say, "Boy...you can tell you're Frank's son!"

    We looked very much alike and shared the same energy level.

    He was one of my greates teachers. And I'm so grateful for that!

    Thank you for your kind words, Sorrow!

    Love ya!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Howdy Rhea!

    Thank you, dear lady!

    Yes...I am SOOOO grateful for those final 9 days with my dad. It was such a blessing!!!

    Hey...it's great that your dad chose to live with you. That says a lot!

    Family IS interesting isn't it???

    On a later post...I will be sharing my feelings about a certain "grandmother" who resembled the Wicked Witch of the South!

    tee, hee!

    Aren't I horrible?

    Great seeing ya, Rhea!!!

    Enjoy your weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Waterworks man.

    This will be the first Father's Day without my dad. I'm one of those fortunate souls like you to have grown up in a house where I was well taken care of and had all my needs met.

    My dad wasn't always the biggest on showing his emotions (except when we were in trouble), but he did hug on us from time to time and would make the time to tell us he loved us.

    The older he got, the more he softened too, and we were able to share a lot of our lives together.

    I really appreciate the words you've sharred her my friend. They ring lound and clear of your love for your dad.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ron my dear your Dad must have been a really special man to have produced you! xxx

    ReplyDelete
  11. Afternoon Akelamalu~

    Thank you so much for your kind words, dear lady.

    Yes...to me, he was a very special soul.

    I think you would have loved him!

    Thanks for your visit today, Akelamalu. Always great sharing with you!

    Enjoy your weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Howdy Jeff!

    Me too....Waterworks for days!!!

    But for some reason...it feels wonderful. I feel as though he's close to me right now, sharing his love as I move through this.

    I thought of you while I was writing this post, because I remember your post about your dad a while back.

    It's odd, because THIS Father's Day has affected me deeper than even the first. But I know from the healing work I share...that healing takes place when it's time.

    And it's time.

    I think the thing I learned most from my relationship with my dad, was that the LOVE was always there...I just wasn't able to see it as a child.

    But I do now.

    Having those 9 days together, was the beginning of our understanding one another. And I feel so blessed for that!

    Thanks for sharing your feelings, buddy!

    I REALLY appreciate it!

    Happy Father's Day to YOU!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Such a nice post and memory of your Dad. I'm sure he's with you all the time and can feel your love.

    My Mom passed first, which was a big surprise, especially to Dad. He tried so hard afterwards to learn things and take care of the house.... dishes, wash, banking, etc.
    He did a pretty great job, and we kept in contact with him all the time.

    In the Sunday paper there was a crossword and he would call me and we'd go over some of the answers, even though he was wayyyyy better than I was he seemed to enjoy the little things like that. He'd stop by my house at times for a piece of pie and some coffee, and to see the kids. I remember he brought me lilacs from a bush in his yard and I still have the lavender vase that was my Moms.
    He was a real character! Talked to everyone about everything... gosh, apple didn't fall far from that tree, eh?? And he had a very funny sense of humor.
    He'd do just about anything for just about anyone. Full of compassion.
    Had a bit of a temper at times and after a few beers....he could get a bit loud. LOL But that just rounded out his personality. He worked hard, took care of his family his whole life, but after work, drinking his beer and smoking those non filter Lucky Strike cigs made him ... him. He liked his morning coffee just as much and always made breakfast for himself, even when Mom was alive.
    Unfortunately, 4 years after Mom, he took sick, advanced cancer, and only lived a couple months. My husband was holding his hand and we were with him when he passed. It's been since '95 for my Mom and
    '99 for my Dad and they are still always in heart and mind.
    Happy Father's Day, Dad.... miss you, love you.
    Thanks Ron, always a pleasure to stop by.
    Have a very nice... and cooler... weekend!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Evening Crystal Chick~

    Thank you so much for sharing the story about your dad. He sounded like a wonderful, sweet, and very down to earth man.

    And he must have been VERY smart to have been able to do those Sunday crosswords. I've tried them several times, and eventually threw it across the room!

    (funny you should mention those non filtered Lucky Strike cigs, because my mom used to smoke Chesterfield non filtered!)

    35 cents a pack!!!!

    Your mom passed away close to the time my dad did (1993). He was 73.

    Yes...it's as you said, they are always in our hearts and mind. And this year especially for me!

    Thanks ever so much for sharing your feelings here today, M!

    And may ALL our dad's have a HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

    WE LOVE YOU!!!!

    P.S. I hear it's going to be a beautiful weekend. Not real hot at all!!! Yepeeee!

    ReplyDelete
  15. *wipes tear*

    Are you trying to goo me again Ronnie?! :-P

    Beautiful post, very touching!

    And it's not so hard to believe your Dadda would have been a wonderful man!

    I mean, just look at yourself, you are an amazing big hearted man... you must have taken after him!

    *hugs* xx

    ReplyDelete
  16. Evening/Moring Giggle!

    GOOOOO....GOOOOOO!

    tee, hee!

    Thank you for your kind and tender words, my sweet friend!

    They meant a lot to me!

    And thank you for stopping by!

    Enjoy your weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Morning Nica~

    Thank you...

    And thank you for stopping by today!

    Enjoy your weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  18. What a wonderful tribute to your father....I guess I know where you got some of your wonderfulness from, huh?

    Happy Dad's Day to everyone!

    :-)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hiya Mel!

    Thank you dear lady!

    He was a wonderful man.

    Thank you for stopping by tonight, Mel.

    I appreciate it!

    ReplyDelete
  20. My eyes filled with tears as I read your post. I see all the qualities of him in you!!

    I saw my Father yesterday at my Grandmother's birthday party. He pretty much left our lives around age 11. He's trying now, and I am trying to let him back in my world. No hard feelings though..he taught me lessons too..some were how not to be as a parent. Lessons are lessons though, if we are open to receive them...eh?

    I really do see your Father's qualities in you. I have no doubt that his energy is around you dear heart!

    Peace of heart to you!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Ron...that was wonderfully written. I could feel his soul in your words. He is a very proud father...even now my friend.

    My father has passed away but we were not close. We rarely spoke and when we did he was drinking or drunk, but I still loved him very much. They say he was very proud
    of me. He never told me he loved me and I didn't tell him I loved him. It was not his way to share emotions. My mother made up for him...she had much emotion...and was not afraid to share.

    You are a lucky man to remember him well.

    ciao babes... :D

    ReplyDelete
  22. Evening Dearest Gypsy-Heart!

    Thank you SO MUCH for your lovely words, dear friend!!!

    I'm proud to of had him as my father.

    And it's TOTALLY as you shared...every experience teaches us VALUABLE lessons...if we are OPEN to it!

    I'm so glad that you were able to spend today with your father, and that you're getting reaquainted. That's SO GREAT!!!

    Yepee!

    Thanks for stopping by today, dear Gypsy.

    You always bring such healing energy!

    Love ya!

    ReplyDelete
  23. OH MY GOD MISS JONES....YOU'RE BACK!!!!

    You've been on my mind the past couple of days and I was wondering when you were getting home.

    SO GLAD AND HAPPY TO SEE YA!!!!

    Thanks ever so much for your beautiful words here.

    I KNOW that you KNOW.

    It's been such a great time for me right now. Even though I've been weepy, I've felt such a tremendous closeness to my father lately.

    I always knew that my dad and I shared a special bond with one another. But it was just unspoken and unphysicalized.

    (god..is that even a word??)

    And it's as if all that unexpressed LOVE...is hitting me all at once right now.

    So...it's a good thing. And I feel blessed for this.

    Thank you for sharing your relationship with your father. I've met several people such as you and I who experienced sort of the same father/child relationship.

    And it's amazing how that can really affect your life isn't it?

    And I BET your father was PROUD of you!!

    I mean, come on...you're the DIVINE Miss Jones!!

    Thanks for stopping by to let me know you're back!

    Yepeee!

    Ciao bella

    ReplyDelete