Post updates by email:

I’m always reminded of two things about myself, whenever I go to have my drivers license renewed.

One: How impatient I am, sitting in a room filled with 50,000 other neurotic Libra’s and Scorpio’s, waiting for my number to be called, so that I can have a horrifying picture taken, which will haunt me for the next four years.

Two: And just how VAIN I am about that picture.

I mean, I don’t want to end up with something that when I show my driver licenses, the person looking at it says, “I’m sorry, but I’m going to need to see some other form of identification…because this is NOT you.”

My last drivers license photo looked as though I had it taken at Glamour Shots. There was such a haze over the photo, that it seemed as though the photographer had coated the camera lens with a jar of Vaseline and then draped it with two inches of gauze.

(I looked like Doris Day in movie Pillow Talk)

Anyway…today was the day I decided to renew my license, and you’d swear I was getting ready for my first Vogue photo shoot.

I picked out the perfect shirt; got freshly shaved; gelled my hair; clipped all random nose hairs; trimmed my goatee, and then brushed my teeth with dazzling Rembrandt toothpaste.

(I’m surprised I didn’t stop by the dermatologist for a few shots of BOTOX)

And when I got down to the Driver’s License Bureau, there weren't just 50,000 people waiting in line…there were 100,000.

When I spoke to the young lady at the sign-in desk, the first thing out of my mouth was, “Please don’t tell me that all those people are ahead of me?”

She told me, “No…those are the people who are waiting to take the eye examination and computer drivers license test.”

(Whew!….thank you, I didn’t want to have to scream obscenities in your face)

Because I had pre-paid for my renewal, and was only there to have a new photo taken, she directed me to go to another section of the room, where the wait would not be long.

In fact, as soon as she handed me my wait number, a gentleman at the photo desk called the number.

(I was so impressed!)

All I had to do was verify that all the information on my drivers license was still correct, verify that I was registered to vote, and then sit down for the photo.

So I sat my butt down, looked into the camera lens, licked my teeth, took a deep breath and smiled sexy.

And a few minutes later when he handed me the drivers license, I looked at it and thought…

….OK…I can definitely live with this photo for next four years.



  1. heheheeehhhehehehehehehe... RON!!
    I'm LMAO!!! This post is HILARIOUSSSSSSSS!!!!! I think we can ALL relate to this.. My last cdl pics came out so great I flashed it EVERYWHERE I went-- showing my ID at every cashier in town... Here in France, I don't have to show it as often, but on the occasion, I whip it out... I was coming off of a really B-A-D DL picture and I mean really... You ask those people at the DMV if you can 'redo' the horrible pic and they look at you like you just got out of the psych ward and you need to go back in.. What's it to them anyhow... If you get pulled over and flash your bad picture, you're MORE likely to get the DARN ticket-- Just for having a bad picture!!! Hehe.. Just kidding... Anyhow.. I loved both of the pics you posted... Now.... which one of them is YOU?!!! Hehe!!!
    Gotta love it... Have a wonderful week...

  2. Oops.. I realized I was using my other blog- cupcake princesse... That's me... Leesa!!!!

  3. Being vain about a drivers license picture--is this a problem. I think you definitely have a winner there!

  4. Ugh, the driver's license photo!!! Ick!
    I have to renew my license in November and I am not looking forward to it.
    But our DMV is so wonderful. I swear Ron, I never waited in line longer than 5 minutes EVER for anything at our DMV. I have no idea what they have done to become so effecient, but they should write a how to book for Government offices.
    Let me ask you this Ron, is the weight listed on your license your "real weight?"
    Just wondering if men lie about that too?

  5. LOL

    Oh,'s all good... At least they won't be asking for other identification?

    Silly fella... ;-)

  6. I too know the feeling of sitting with half the population of China waiting to get some sort of resemblence of my face put on a plastic sheath at the DMV. My last time in for the photo ID had a makeup artist, a plastic surgeon, a ligthing expert and a professional photographer come with me. The picture still looked like something out of Shrek.
    I am so glad that you can handle your current photo. When you are done with it perhaps you can send it to me and I will use it on my license. Have a great day.

  7. Oh, man. I needed that laugh. So many funny posts out there today!

    I've been lucky that most of mine have been decent.

    Part 1 of my daughter's interview is up today. Your questions will be answered in later episodes but I still think this one's a hoot and worth checking out.

    Happy Wednesday!

    P.S. For some reason, you always manage to put a smile on my face. Thanks!

  8. Morning Leesa!

    and Cupcake Princess!

    OMG...thank you for clearing that up for me, because I had no idea that was you!?!?

    What a cute avatar!!!

    I need to check out that blog!!!

    It's funny you mentioned about asking if the people at DMV could "redo" the photo, because here in Philly...they actually ASK you if you like the photo, and then allow you to take it over if you want!!! This last renewal photo, the guy did a really nice job, so I never had him redo it. The photo seems brighter and bigger than the previous years. Maybe they change something in the camera.

    (or maybe it's that cosmetic surgery I had done a month ago)


    Hey...I bet your DL photo is FABULOUS!!!

    You movie star, you!!!!

    Thanks a bunch for DRIVING in today, Leesa!

    Have an awesome Wednesday!

  9. Good Morning Diane!

    Thank you, dear lady!

    And I'm thinking of sending it in to People Magazine, and submiting it for the 10 Most Beautiful People in the World!!

    (want to you think?)

    Either that or....MAD Magazine!


    Thank you for dropping in today, Diane!

    Wishing you a Happy Wednesday!

  10. Howdy Nicole!

    Great seeing ya!!!!

    Actually, I've gotta be honest...yesterday when I went down to DMV, they were VERY FAST! This has not been the norm though. Usually it takes forever. So maybe like VA. they've improved the process.

    And I swear, this is the first year I've actually thought my photo looks decent (and LOOKS like me).

    I don't know if men fib about weight on their drivers license stats!?!?

    I never have. But if I did, it would be to ADD weight.

    Thanks a BUNCH for stopping by today, Nicole!

    So nice talking with ya!

    Have a great day!!!

  11. Morning Mel!


    But just in case, I still carry my photo of George Clooney...

    ....I've been told, I resemble him.


    Always wonderful seeing, dear Mel!


    And say Hi to Studley!

    tee, hee!

  12. OMG...DAVE!!!!!!

    I can't tell you how GREAT it is SEEING YOU!!!!!

    You and I must have been "connecting" lately, because I've been thinking about you, and wondering how you've been.'s OUR birthday month!!!!


    You're comment (as usual) made me HOWL!!! Damn, why didn't I think of bringing my own lighting man and makeup artist????

    Like I shared with Nicole, this years photo turned out pretty decent. I mean at least I can tell it's ME!!!

    Maybe something happens when you turn 53!!!!

    Thanks SOOOOOOO much for stopping by today, Dave!

    ALWAYS such a TREAT!!!!!!

    Happy Birthday, buddy!

  13. Good Morning to ya, Mama Dawg!

    Thank you for your kind words, dear lady.

    I really appreciate them.

    Your presence here always adds to the smiles!

    And're so blessed to have had your DL photos turn out good!!!!

    Hey...I can't wait to check out Part 1 of your questions!!! I'll be sure to stop by later this evening when I return from work!!!

    Thanks for stopping by, Mama Dawg!


  14. WOW! You're a catch Ronnie! :-P *GiGGLeS*

    Oh I DREAD the bloody liscence, passport piccys!

    They seem to rip the photos out of the film so fast here that it can make your face look wonky, which can have you looking like the elephant man ffs!

    There was only one piccy that I had on my learners liscence that I adored... problem was that when it expired I had to replace it!

    I refused to get it replaced because I loved it so much, so I held onto this expired liscence for 4 YEARS!!!! LOL

    I had to carry my passport around for my ID, because they wouldn't accept my expired liscence!

    But I'd hand it over any way.. and when they would tell me it was not valid, I'd say "I know... but isn't the pic great?!!" Heeeheeee

    Great Post Ronnie! xx

  15. Hi RON!!

    Yep... it's just me, the cupcake princesse!! Glad I cleared it up for you... I forget to switch back sometimes... Hey... you evaded my question- you slick one.. I asked (jokingly, of course)-- Sooooo, which of the two photos you posted was YOU?!!!! heheheheheheh, like my humor.. I know neither are, so I just answered my own question... I had a DMV guy get MAD at me when I asked if I could redo the pic.. He said... NOPE!!! Damn, some of those DMV folks act like they are GOD or something... They hold the power... after all!!

  16. ronnie: Again you had me rolling on my desk...ha! Not to worry, they'll replace my broken telephone later today. hehe I kicked it out as I laughed.
    The photos are hilarious. hey, I'll get another. are so right about getting ready. hehehe, I can just imagine it...ha. A Vogue Photo shoot. hehehe

    I hate those photos they take there...I usually request I bring along my own photograhy crew, make up girl and hair consultant Paulalo. I asked if I could pose like Kim Novack once...NO.

    I suggest they use black and white film...NO! I figure since I'm there, take extra pics and when they get back...maybe I'll order some 8x10s, 5x7's and a few wallet sizes. that way the trip isn't wasted.

    Why can't things be Uncle Pauly just tells them to use one of the photos of him from the police station...they got plenty, he says.

    I love that movie with Doris Day...hehehe. you thought of the lady with the cotton explosion head.

    One more thing... why is it that the day I have my pic is the hottest day of the year. OY!

    Sweetie, can you imagine if you and I showed up at the same time there....would they have their hands full! hehehe. We can do lunch afterwards, okay? :)
    Ciao baby.

  17. Ron~
    bless your OCD heart!
    I thank you for this afternoons laugh!
    your a riot!
    I must admit, I HATE the license bureau and have had some very awful experiences there, not so much with the photo's and what not, but i swear they hire the most awful rude,nasty folks they can find.
    And Alabama was THEY worst.
    Buy the time they took my photo, I just no longer cared!
    great Vent!
    I am shuddering to think I have to do this again in a couple months...

  18. Awhile back my license was stolen and I had to have a temp one done. That was the first time I had a picture license as it was never required before that. So of course I primped, fixed the hair, makeup, etc. The photo they handed back to me was insane!! It looked like I started to fall over and everything was blurred to one side. I looked completely deformed. But they let it go and sent me on my way.
    When my license was due to be renewed, like 6 months later, I figured the same thing would happen, crazy machine would act up and I'd be looking kooky for another goddess knows how many years. But this time, the woman actually said I could take another shot if I didn't like the first. Really??? Yes. OKAY!! Cause you know as much as I love to photoshop stuff, I doubt the State would let me alter my license photo. LOL
    And when we applied for our passports, luckily, they came out alright the first time! But the woman seemed so nice that I'm sure she would have agreed to another picture as well.

    In general any dealings I have had in NJ with the DMV and the County offices have been decent in recent years. No crazy long lines anymore and good information when I've called.

    Hey, in my delirious state this week, did I miss wishing you a happy birthday? OMG, whenever it is/was, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
    Is it tomorrow???
    I need a secretary. ;)

    How about this: Happy Solar Return. As that can fall a day before or after your actual birth day. And I hope you have a great year!!!

  19. I ***HATE*** my current one, but I'm stuck with it 'til 2012. I have my chin lump from lymph nodes that were swollen-I've since had them removed. AND I LOOK LIKE I'M WEARING FRIGGIN' BLUE EYESHADOW. So can I have a new pic now?
    Grammy always has to see my new pic. She just likes critiquing.
    I plan to take the motorcycle safety/road test for license class, so I'll just use that ID instead when ID is required. I plan to wear all black...maybe even some BLACK makeup like Alice Cooper LOL

  20. Lucky you not having to wait in line. You should try a New York State DMV sometime.

  21. Evening Giggles!

    I know...aren't I HOT???

    (especially that LAST photo!)



    I can't imagine you EVER taking a bad picture!!! All the ones I've seen on your look like a Super Model...I SWEAR!!!

    In Florida (which is where I use to live) they allow you to KEEP the photo from year to year and only mail you a renewal sticker that you place on the back of the old license. But they also give you the option to retake the photo if you would like!


    Thanks for popping by today, dear one!

    Hope you had a WONDERFUL day!!!!

  22. Good Evening Leesa!

    I know aren't I SLICK!

    Sorry for avoiding your question, but I didn't want to have to admit that BOTH of these photos are me!!

    (but from a pastlife!!)


    I know...those DMV people can either make you or break you for the next four years!!!


    Thanks for stopping by again, Leesa!

  23. Dear Miss Jones!

    aka: Kim Novack

    And once again YOU had ME rolling on MY desk laughing!!!!!

    Damn, you're funny!

    OMG...and your idea about having them in B&W is FABULOUS!! I mean, everyone looks wonderful in B&W, don't they? There's something so awesome about B&W film. This is why I have such a passion for old movies!!

    And didn't you love Pillow Talk? I love ALL Doris Day films. What a special lady she is!

    I know what you mean about it being a HOT day and having your photo taken. When I lived in Florida, that was ALWAYS the case. I ended up looking like a drowned rat!

    And can you just IMAGINE you and I having our photos taken together?? We'd hire the MGM beauty staff to come out to DMV with us, and the whole place would be in an uproar!!

    (especially when we tell them that we actually want them taken TOGETHER in one shot!)


    Thanks for driving in today, Spiky!

    You always create such VIVID and FUN images for me!

    Ciao bella Kim!

  24. Good Evening Lady Sorrow!

    I know...the only thing that helps me cope with my to talk about it...and then LAUGH!!!!

    OMG...and I SO know what you're talking about how these DMV people can be SOOOO rude! Even here in Philly (which I'm sure you already knew). They make the experience so, that you end up FROWNING in your DL photo!

    However, yesterday, the gentleman who took the photos was actually extremely cheery and helpful.

    This was the first time the experience was pleasant!

    And THANK GOD I don't have to worry about it again until 2012!!

    Always a DELIGHT to see ya, Sorrow!

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by today!

    Have a great evening!

  25. Evening Crystal Chick!

    HOLY COW...can you just IMAGINE if they actually allowed PHOTOSHOP for these photos?????

    What a GREAT idea, M!

    OMG...and thank you for reminding me about Passport Photos, because the one I got for the time I went to Amsterdam, literally looks as though someone took a sledge hammer down the center of my hair!!
    I had an AFRO at the time, so it looks like I have TWO AFRO PUFFS on my head!! I still have that photo somewhere!!

    Yes...and here too (PA) they allow you to retake the photo if you don't like the first one. In past years, I did have them retake them, but they all looked like shit. This year however, the first one came out really decent.

    And no, didn't miss my birthday. It's actually tomorrow. Thanks for asking. I have the day off, so I'll just be relaxing and spending a couple of hours in Borders with a LARGE coffee.

    Hey, did it rain in Jersey today? It came down in BUCKETS here. But I love rain, so it didn't bother me.

    Thanks for stopping by today, M!

    I always love talking with you!

    Hope you're ear is better@

    Have FABU evening!

  26. Hiya Debi!

    Oh, girl...I can just SEE you in BLUE EYESHADOW!! And black liquid eyeliner!!

    Very 50's!

    Actually, I kind of like that look. We have a MAC counter in the store that I work at, and all the girls there apply their makeup very dramatic...but it's done WELL, so I like it. That's the cool thing about can either be used natural...or to have FUN!

    I enjoy seeing both.

    oooh...oooh...and I really like the idea that you have about wearing ALL black for your motorcycle photo ID. VERY COOL! Black is actually my favorite color. It can be classic or dramatic, ya know?

    Thanks for stopping by today, Debi!

    ALWAYS a pleasure talking with you!!!

    Have a wonderful evening!

  27. Hi Alex!

    Great seeing ya again!

    I lived in New York City for almost five years, and I know what you mean about the lines.

    Long lines for everything!

    But so much of that has to do with the percentage of population, ya know? It's such a huge city, with a huge population.

    But GOD...there's nothing like NYC!!

    I live in Philly now, and I'll tell ya...even with the crowds of people...NYC is SOOOOO much more organized!!

    Thanks for stopping by, Alex!

    Hope you have a wonderful evening!



    Much love to you my darling friend.

    Today should be a national holiday!

    Have a wonderful day off and remember Frankie says.....


  29. Good Morning Ron dear. I am drinking my first cup of coffee and came here to start my day with a laugh. Needless to say, you did not disappointment me!!

    I never like having my photo taken, but I REALLY dislike ID photos. You only get one chance, and you're sitting there with a crowd of strangers watching you trying to smile naturally! An unfriendly crowd too...because they just want you to get done and get your ass out of the chair so they can move up in line.

    When I had my drivers license photo taken a few years ago I had dark brown hair (with a little help from the bottle). :) As I told you before, I stopped dying it, and I have silver streaks now, but only in the front. So they look at my license and then they look at me..and I find myself explaining. "It really is me, I just stopped dying my hair."
    Which of course, everyone in the line hears me say. I can't tell you how many times this leads to conversations about dying hair..not only with the cashier, but people in the line. I've actually had people walk out with me discussing dye or not to dye. hee, hee

    Thank you for another great Vent!

    Love Ya!

  30. Hi Ron - You really crack me up. I too live in Philly with those nice DMV people. Last time I went to get my photo taken I really took the time to put the make-up on and fix the hair and wear a really pretty blue funnel-neck top and jewelry!! (I usually don't try, because the pictures are so bad I figure it's not worth it.) I get there and check the mirror and think I look pretty good. They call me and I sit down in front of a curtain the SAME COLOR AS MY TOP! Needless to say we now call my picture "The Floating Head". I am just not going to try any more. I really look forward to reading your posts! I always get a good laugh!

  31. THANK YOU, Anndi!

    My Libra friend!!!!!

    That was so sweet of you!!!!

    Hey, listen...I know that yours must be coming up soon too!?

    Don't ya just LOVE birthdays???

    And just think...somewhere in the world today, Donna Karan, Sting, and Groucho Marx (as an angel) are celebrating their birthday too!!!


    Thanks for stopping by today, Anndi!

    Have a wonderful Thursday!!

  32. Good Morning Dear Gypsy-Heart!

    Oh, that's funny, because I'm sitting here having my first cup of coffee for the day too!

    *ok...let's take a sip break together!


    OMG...that's so funny about your drivers license picture!

    I think you should add on your DL, "Hair consultant."


    I actually just started combing/styling my hair differently than the DL photo that I had four years ago, so I'm glad that I have a new photo.

    Nothing dramatic or anything, just a shorter cut, with my hair sort of all combed forward (kind of like a Julius Ceasar).

    Thanks SOOOO much for stopping by today, my Capricorn, Florida, wonderful friend!

    Wishing you a wonderful October Thursday!

    Love ya!

  33. Morning Miss P !

    OMG...your comment made me HOWL!

    That's so funny about the floating head!!!

    Hey, I had no idea you use to live in Philly! How cool is that?

    I was born here, then moved away for 20 years, and returned 7 years ago. I'm so glad to be back in North-East with the change of seasons. I had no idea how much I really missed it - especially this time of the year.

    So glad you find a little laughter here!

    It's such a pleasure having you a part of this blog!

    Thanks for stopping by, Miss P!

    And I hope you have a wonderful Thursday!

  34. Happy B-Day Ron!! I've been really loving all the blogs and this one made me immediately grab my D.L to check the expiration date. I need to take the picture in a couple months! Barely enough time to lose 5 pounds, change my hair, get my jowls lipoed.... AHHHHHH!

  35. LOl

    When MWM and I had to renew our passport we (read I) decided that no way were we using those photobooths that make you look like Quasimodo! No was we were doing the photos ourselves. I took three of MWM and he chose one. MWM too 100 of me and I chose one! ;)

  36. Hi LAUREL!!!!!

    THANK YOU!!!

    It's so nice of you to stop by on my B-Day!

    God...can you believe it...53 today!?

    I'm so glad you enjoy these vents, and I can't tell you how happy it makes me, that you stop by to read them.

    Thanks my friend! always take such a fabulous picture, so I can't ever imagine your DL photo being anything but perfect!

    Thanks again for stopping by today, Laurel. You made my birthday the HAPPIEST!!!

    Love ya!

  37. Morning Akelamalu!!

    OMG...that's SO funny!!!

    SEE...I told you, I'm the SAME way!!!

    It reminds me of an episode of I Love Lucy, where she and Ethel took 50 passport photos a piece...and they hated ALL of them!!!

    And oh don't EVEN want to see what my passport photo looks like. It looks like it should be in the post office, as America's Most Wanted!!


    Thanks for stopping by today, dear lady!

    Always FUN!

    Have a great Thursday, Akelamalu

  38. Oh! Ron, you're too funny! I hate to have my picture taken, period. The driver's license, passport, Sam's Club, etc. pictures are just absolutely disgusting. I always wonder who that wretched looking person was that jumped in front of the camera just as I was getting photographed!

  39. Afternoon Nitebyrd!

    NO WAY...I've seen that gorgeous photo of you, that was on you blog earlier during the summer, and you take AWESOME photos!!!

    I mean that, it was beautiful!

    And what's strange with me, is that I used to LOVE being in front of the camera. My mother use to call me her son...THE HAM!

    Actually, I STILL am a HAM...only a "shy" one!


    Always a HOOT seeing ya, Lady Nitebyrd!

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by today!

    Hope your Thursday has been awesome!

  40. shhh it's tomorrow ;) (almost TWINS!)

  41. There's something on my blog for you!

  42. OMFG!!!! " I CAN'T BELIEVE I F**KING FORGOT YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!" Ohhhhh... Nooooo...
    That quote above... was the actual quote from 16 Candles-- but it was the parents who forgot Sam's b-day.. not me who forgot yours!! I hope you had a WONDERFUL b-day!!! You look MARVEY HONEY!!! Not a day over 52... Just kidding.. You skin is smoother than mine... I know why, too!!
    Big B-day hugs to you!!
    HAPPY HAPPY B-Day to you!!!

  43. My last NY license I looked like Sally Struthers. Not hot Sally from All in the Family. NO. Bloated Sally from Gilmore Girls.

    My NJ license was a bit better. I look a lot like Jessica Walters about to tell someone to drop dead. At least I'm not bloated.

    Now the real reason for my visit!

    It is sunny yet very COOL today and so it is the day of your BIRTH (Anndi told me) and Mother Nature knew better than to make you sweat on your birthday.

    I adore you and I am quite glad you were born.

    Have a great Birthday and stretch it out through the weekend!!

  44. Just stopped in via Anndi's place. She mentioned something about a birthday and that you were such a wonderful guy you'd share your cake and bubbly! However, by the looks of that new Driver's License photo, I'm willing to bet the bubbly is all gone!

  45. Hi Anndi!

    We ARE TWINS!!!!

    (just 24 hours apart, that's all)

    Ok...I'll be over in just a bit to check out your blog!


  46. Hi Leesa!!

    THANK YOU, my friend!!!

    Oh, worries. I didn't really mention it until I started commenting to Anndi (who is ALSO a Libra) And...who's birthday is TOMORROW!!!

    But thank you SOOOOO much for the birthday wish, Leesa!

    I had a very nice day. I spent part of the afternoon in the park feeding the squirrels and had a wonderful time. The weather is PERFECT today, so that was a wonderful birthday gift to me.

    I love birthdays!!!

    Thanks for stopping by again, Leesa!

  47. Hiya Dianne!!!


    JESSICA WALTERS!!!!! FUNNY lady, you!

    Don't you just LOVE having to get those DAMN DL photos taken?


    This years renewal was not that bad, so at least I have a photo I don't HATE for the next four years!

    Oh...and THANK YOU for the wonderful, sweet, and much enjoyed birthday wish!

    And I feel the same about you too, Dianne!

    I'm so freaking glad we met!

    And YES...was not the weather today, FLAWLESS? I was out walking about this afternoon, and felt so blessed that the day was MY kind of day for my birthday!

    Thanks for stopping by and celebrating my day, dear lady.

    ALWAYS great having your here!

  48. Greetings Dana!


    It's so nice meeting you.

    Thank you SOOOOO much for stopping by on my birthday!

    OMG...I'm really touched!

    Hey, and your comment about the bubbly was a HOOT!

    I can've got a GREAT sense of humor, and that's always welcomed here, so stop by anytime Dana!

    And have a wonderful evening!

  49. Happy birthday, of course. And I don't see anything wrong with the photo. Looks like me with shorter hair.

  50. Greetings Charles~


    OMG, your comment made me LAUGH...that was great!

    Hey, I've seen your avatar over at Anndi's blog, so it's so nice to meet you. I alway enjoying reading your comments to her. Isn't she the COOLEST lady?

    We're actually twins, however, we have about 22 years between I guess we're "distant twins."

    Thanks so much for stopping by to say Happy Birthday.

    Much appreciated!

    Stop by anytime, you're always welcomed!