My Old Passport Photo


I know what you’re all thinking, “Holy shit…who the HELL is this???”

No…it’s not a mug shot from America’s Most Wanted.

Would you believe it’s MOI?

And all those lines you see on my face and neck are not the scars from a street fight, I assure you. They’re the result of a passport photo that’s been crammed and transported in several different boxes since 1976.

OMG…I can’t believe I have the GONADS to share this hideous image on the Internet!

Last night I was rummaging through some photos, and came across an old passport from when I went to Amsterdam, Holland to perform in a musical.

(and no…the musical was not called HAIR)

I was 21 years old when this photo was taken.

I look like an Italian gigolo immigrant who came over on a boat to Ellis Island, just in time for disco.

Ok, first of all…let’s talk about my AFRO.

It either looks like a Halloween wig of one of the Marx Brothers, or a knitted football helmet.

And don’t you LOVE how it seems as though someone took a sledge hammer and made a part down the center of my head?

Next…let’s focus on my EYEBROWS.

I look like the one and only biological son of Joan Crawford.

(this was before I discovered eyebrow tweezers)

Next…notice the sparse hair above my lips. This was my feeble attempt at a Village People moustache.

(MACHO…MACHO…MAN. I WANT TO BE…A MACHO MAN!)

Finally…allow your eyes to focus on my SHIRT.

(that is…if you CAN focus)

I wonder if it was possible to get that collar any WIDER?

This was a shirt that was very popular in the 70’s and 80’s, called a Nik-Nik.

And thank god this photo is in black and white, because if you could have seen the shirt in color, I’m sure you’d feel as though you were on bad acid trip.

Oh well…it’s kind of fun looking back at old photos of yourself, isn’t it?

I mean, you can either laugh or cry…but I’d just as soon LAUGH!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

24 comments

  1. heheheheeeeee...gonads...heheeeee.

    Hey, I make fun of myself all the time. Just tonight in the bath I was thinking: OH MY DOG...I look like a FROG...I got a short body with a big belly and fatty/muscular meaty thighs! :O

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  2. Well I think you look quite handsome Ron - because I remember the fashions and the 'look' at the time. I think you're very brave displaying it though - there's no way I would let anyone see a photo of me from the same period! LOL

    PS there's a little something for you over at mine m'deario. xx

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  3. Lovely eyebrows, I must say......

    Well, really, I don't really haffta say...LOL.....but it's the most polite thing I could think of saying? *laughing*

    Oh, what a brave soul you are.
    But I'm with ya.....if I can't laugh at me, then I'm missing the point, yaknow?!

    Brilliant photo--and equally enchanting post, sir.

    And in case I don't get back here (cuz strange things CAN happen--)

    Joyous, Happy, WONDROUS New Years to you!!

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  4. Can't type. Laughing too hard. I'll come back later. Holy Shit!

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  5. Aloha Debi!

    Heheeeeee!

    Yes, my friend GONADS the size of coconuts!

    I sat here thinking, "Should I REALLY do this?...Oh what the hell, what a GREAT way to ring out 2008!!!!

    HAHAHAHA!

    Thanks for stopping by, Deb!

    Tell all the PENGIES I said HELLO!

    Enjoy your Monday!

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  6. Top of the Morning to ya, Akelamalu!

    Thank you, dear lady...you're so kind!

    The photo kind of reminds me of Greg Brady from The Brady Bunch!

    And it's it funny how when we go through a period of style, we think...."Hot damn...I look so COOL!!"

    Wasn't the 70's and early 80's such a POLYESTER nightmare????

    ooooh...a little something for me??? I can't wait to see what it is!

    (perhaps a NEW passport photo??)

    HAHAHA!

    Thanks for dropping by, Akelamalu!

    HAPPY MONDAY!
    X

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  7. yes, Vent and you know we love you for our set of gonads...

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  8. Hiya Dear Mel!

    OMG...you're so funny!!

    I know it's kind of SHOCKING...so thanks for being MOST polite!

    *I hope you didn't spew your morning coffee whilst viewing the photo!!!

    And yes...if we can't laugh at ourselves, then what's the point of old passport photos!?!?!?

    tee, hee!

    And a HAPPY, WONDEROUS New Year to you too, MEL!!

    However, I'll be stopping by your blog, just to see how you're doing.

    You take good care, ok?

    And know that I'm always sharing "good energy" with you!!

    {{{{{{Mel}}}}}}}

    XOXOX

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  9. Morning Nitebyrd!

    I know...

    ...I don't know WHAT possessed me?!?

    *could it be that I've gone TOTALLY insane???

    YEA...I think so!

    HAHAHAHA!

    Always FABU seeing ya, Sis!

    It's so comforting to know that you and I share the same HUMOR gene!!!

    Enjoy your day!

    XO

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  10. Mornin' Hope!

    ALWAYS such a wonderful treat seeing ya, girl!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and enjoying!

    Hope you had a VUNDERBAR Christmas holiday! Damn...can you believe it's over already??? This one FLEW by before I even realized!!

    HAPPY NEW YEAR to YA!

    And enjoy your Monday, Hope!

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  11. Thanks for sharing the photo! I love your post. Thought you'd like to know you can still get a Nik Nik shirt.

    http://www.dressthatman.com/view-SHIR581.htm

    Enjoy!

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  12. Hi Anonymous!

    Thanks for stopping by and glad you enjoyed!

    And thanks for the Nik-Nik shirt link! Earlier this year I did a post on DISCO and found a vintage online store link that carried them too.

    What a FLASH-BACK!!!

    Happy New Year to ya!

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  13. Hi Ron,
    Now is that an 8à's man or not??
    Perfectly !!!
    Look at all the hair you had on your head !But you know, I still recognize those eyes ;)

    Yes, better laugh than cry about it; I could do the same when I look at photos of me at 18 or 19 !!

    Have a happy day my friend and thanks for sharing.

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  14. ronnie: I thnk you are handsome. I mean you do have the Italian thingy going and momma mia, I love Italians.

    I wish I could have one of my bikini photos on my pass port. But maybe not...I'd most likely get pulled to the side and searched at every ai port we fly into and out of. Not that I mind the hands on. but I do have a plane to catch...woo. hehehe

    ha...youmade me laugh...with the Joan Crawford son thingy.

    I do have a question...do you have a fear of wire hangers? If yes...you better look to see if you were adopted? hehehe.

    And who doesn't like the Village People...hehehe.

    You are fabulous ronnie...and the pic is fabulous too. You are awesome.

    Ciao sweetie...oh...don't go yet...please tell me...what musical was it? :D

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  15. Bonjour Barbara!

    Yes...it's like I stepped out of the movie Saturday Night Fever!!

    Burn baby, burn...disco inferno!!

    aaahhh...but didn't you LOVE the 80's???? The music was FABULOUS and the clubs were so much FUN!!! But those Nik-Niks were soooo HOT!!!

    OY!

    Thanks for stopping by, Barb!

    Hope you had a MARVI MONDAY!

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  16. Good evening Miss Jones!!

    OMG...you are beyond funny!!!

    Your comment about the bikini photo and being searched at the airport was freaking HYSTERICAL!!!

    God...can you IMAGINE that???

    It's funny, because some people say I DO look Italian...but others think I'm Jewish. Which is ironic, because I've played MANY Jewish men onstage! My parents were BOTH very Italian looking and I resemble them both equallly.

    And YES!!!....the brows in that photo look exactly like Joan Crawford, don't they??? And like Joan, I really don't enjoy wire hangers. They get too damn tangled on the clothes bar in the closet!!!

    (however I've never screamed...NO WIRE HANGERS...EVER!!!!)

    HAHAHAHA!

    oooh...oooh...and don't ya just LOVE the Village People??? They were very popular when I lived in NYC and would make appearances down in the Village. I actually have a CD of theirs!

    The musical I was in was an original musical review called Absurdities. The experience was a TOTAL nightmare!!! We never got PAID and the director was a PSYCHO! However, the great part about the experience, was that I got to spend a summer in Amsterdam!!! OMG...I don't know if you've ever been there, but it's FABULOUS...I just know you'd love it!

    Talk about total FREEDOM!!!!

    Their night clubs are so COOL!

    And the city itself is so beautiful! What an experience!!

    Maybe that's where you and I can start our international tour!!!

    Thanks for dropping by, Miss Jones!

    Hope you had SWELL day!

    Ciao bella!
    X

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  17. Holy shit!!!

    It's Lou Ferrigno from the Incredible Hulk!

    A little green skin and you are him baby.

    You could have knitted a sweater with all that eyebrow hair.

    I just looked in the dictionary under "The 70's" and there you were.

    Thank you for sharing this photo ya big pimp dog. (tears streaming down my face)

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  18. Howdy Jeff!

    Holy shit!...I NEVER thought of that, but I DO resemble Lou Ferrigno!!!

    Lou Ferrigno with Joan Crawford BROWS!!!

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    Let me tell ya about the brows...

    ....if I didn't pluck them, I'd have a unibrow. They grow completely across my forehead like a caterpillar!

    I SWEAR!

    Thanks for stopping by, buddy!

    Hope I didn't nauseate you in anyway!

    Sincerely,
    Pimp Dog

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  19. I popped over via Akelamalu's blob, Im so glad I did, you are one funny bloke........ Im gonna enjoy drinking me cuppa tea and scrolling back for more posts...

    x

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  20. OH MY GOD

    RON - You look like all of my friends did back then. Muy CALIENTE, in that "That 70s Show" sorta way! LOLOL

    I look back at that time period and waiver between "WHAT was I thinking?" to "Geez, we looked groovy, didn't we?" White lipstick, blue eyeshadow. Long curly hair I tried to "straighten" without the benefit of a blowdryer, curling iron, or flat iron.

    Remember Angel Flight pants? Puka shells? Any fabric that was shiney? :)

    BRAVE MAN. Thank GOD you're still around to show that picture. It's AWESOME

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  21. Greetings Toasty!

    Welcome!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and taking the time to share a comment!

    It's nice meeting you!

    And isn't Akelamalu the BEST????

    She and I have been blogging buddies for over two years now. SWEET lady she is!

    Please stop by anytime...the door is always open!

    HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU!

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  22. HOWDY Grace!!!

    So great seeing ya, girl!

    OMG...I was laughing my ass off reading your comment, because I TOTALLY remember ALL of those things you mentioned!!!

    I remember getting my very first Puka necklace when I lived in Florida and thought I was the COOLEST dude alive!!!!

    OH...HOW FUNNNY!!!

    Thanks for a wonderful stroll down memory lane!

    That was FAB!!!

    Listen, if we don't talk before then...have a HAPPY NEW YEAR, Grace!!

    Blessings to you!

    P.S. shhhh...don't tell anyone, but one time I actually tried on my sisters WHITE lipstick!!!

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  23. I had a shirt like that...only it was a girl shirt...because I am a girl. There is picture of me in the shirt, with the awful permed hair AND a live chicken on my shoulder.

    Lisa Amott

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  24. Happy New Year Lisa!

    Thanks for stopping by!

    OMG....that is SOOO FUNNY!

    And I bet you looked MUCH better than I did in that shirt.

    (because I'm sure the chicken distracted from the hideous shirt pattern!!)

    HAHAHAHA!

    Weren't they the WORST???

    aaah...memories!

    Enjoy your evening, Lisa!

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