Post updates by email:

Hi folks!

I would just like to let everyone know, that because I will not have a day off and working a tremendous amount of hours within the next twelve days, I won’t be online as much, therefore, posting on Vent will be extremely light.

(however, I WILL let you know that I’m still alive…barely)

I will continue to respond to all comments and emails later in the evening, after soaking in a hot bubble bath and then drinking a glass of RED WINE, because if I hear “Does my purchase come with a FREE gift?” one more time….I will BITE someone on the ass!

Please know that I will be thinking of all of you and wishing I were HERE, rather than waiting on psycho customers who can’t make up their minds what to buy for Aunt Wynona or Cousin Norman, and then giving me a nasty look because the store has no more LARGE paper shopping bags left with those wonderful handles!

And please think of me at 5:45pm on December 24th when the store is getting ready to close and there are still 50 customers running around like chicken’s with their heads cut off, because they waited until two minutes before Christmas to buy a gift, so now they’ll just buy anything!

But MOST of all, think of me on December 26th when the store will be filled with those SAME 50 people who return everything!


…I love it more than my own life!

Oh…and if you happen to see me in the store, you can always bring me a cup of coffee with a little half and half…because I’ll desperately need it.

*Please feel free to browse through my archives to read some of my older takes, until I get back to my regular posting schedule.

Thank you all for your patience and understanding.

And remember…keep laughing!

Have humorous weekend, everyone!


  1. I know I speak for everyone when I say we're gonna have RONNIE WITHDRAWALS!!! (we may need therapy) but we are in the same boat, dahling, but where I am since we are dealing with mostly tourists, it's tamer operating hours than say, a real mall. (though yes, before I've done the multiple jobs, weeks straight of no days off and holiday shifts 'til midnight before)
    so I feel for ya, hon!!

  2. Oh ya poor thing.....

    Happiest of holidays despite the insanities of the world around you, sir!

  3. Hi Ron,
    I know,Iknow; retail is a killer with the holidays !
    You have all my compassion !
    Woo; that sounds nice; soaking in a hot tub with a glass of wine to kick back with.

    Don't let the tukeys get you down !
    Hey; if we were in Philly operation Ronnie; run into Starbucks on Xmas eve afternoon, & order the biggest size coffee. The, rush back to the store & deliver it to you.

    Hang in the baby !

  4. Oh lord....
    So glad you still have your sense of humor
    here's hoping you still have it by the 27th...
    Bless you
    crazy man
    bless you!

  5. I will BITE someone on the ass!

    Do NOT put that in your mouth!!! You don't know WHERE it's been!!!

  6. Aloha Debi!

    You're so sweet! Thank you...and I will be missing you folks too!

    A lot!

    I KNOW you KNOW how it is, being in retail, my friend. This time of the year gets CRAZY!?#*!!?

    But that's RETAIL BIZ, ya know? And I really do appreciate and enjoy my job!

    And before I know'll be over and I'll have a month off to relax and renew!

    Thanks for stopping by, Debi!

    Wishing you a GREAT holiday season in the BIZ!


  7. Morning Dear Mel!

    Hey, but you know ME...I'm sort of insane it WORKS!


    I'll be thinking of you everytime I hear "Walking in a Winter Wonderland!"

    Thanks for stopping by, dear lady!

    Enjoy the holiday season!!!!!


  8. Bonjour Barbara!

    ahhhh....are you so SWEET!!!

    Thank you!

    I'm SO grateful for the Starbucks that's close by too!!

    During those last few days before Christmas, all my co-workers and I will be living off Christmas candy and coffee!!!


    SUGAR rush!!!!

    This time of the year comes with the business, so I'm use to the madness!#?!*

    Thanks for stopping by today, Barb!

    Have a wonderful weekend!!!!!

    Hi to Didier!


  9. Morning Lady Sorrow!!

    Thank you for your blessings!!!!

    It's the HUMOR that truly gets me through the insanity!?!?!

    And there's a part of me that REALLY loves it! the 27th....I WONDER?!?!?


    Always great seeing ya, dear lady!

    Thanks for stopping by!

    Enjoy your weekend!


  10. OMG...ANNDI!!!

    That's HYSTERICAL!!!

    Leave it to my TWIN to find the HUMOR!!!

    THANK YOU!!!!

    Thanks for dropping by, you wild woman you!

    Have a JOLLY HOLLY weekend!


  11. My good friend. Stay cool and when a person is starting to get to you. Blink your eyes and try to picture them naked sitting on a goat. Then say to them " is it really that Baaaaaaahd? " always works for me.
    Have a sip of the Boujeulais Noveau it is great this year.

    Talk to you soon.

  12. Hello Mr. Dave!


    Ok...I'm definately going to try that!

    This week hasn't been too bad....but it's NEXT week when the POO-POO starts!!!

    Hey...thanks for reminding me about the Boujeulais Noveau this time of the year!!!

    You're right!

    When I first started drinking wine, that was the one I tried first and LOVED it!


    Thanks for stopping by, my good friend!

    And thanks for your sharing your "awesome energy!"

    Have a great weekend!

  13. Ron what we gonna do without you????? :(

    Be nice to the customers m'dear ((wink, wink)) LOL

  14. When they ask about the free gift, just inform them that the store has graciously decided to give a free receipt with every purchase. I'm sure that will go over like a fart in church.

    OK, confession time. I really enjoy getting a cup of coffee and going out on Christmas eve just to people watch. I'm pretty good about having my shopping done at least a week in advance so I can avoid the mass "Gotta buy something!" craze that happens at the last minute.

    This gives me the opportunity to laugh my ass off when two people are fighting over the last tin of Almond Roca on the shelf or the last Beef Log in the Hickory Farms store.

    I know its a warped pleasure I enjoy, but come on, if people wait until 5:45pm on Dec 24th (and you're right, they will!) they deserve to be laughed at.

    So if you see a guy walking through your department this year with a cup of Joe in his hand and a nonchalant demeanor about him accompanied by a sinister grin, then you'll know it's my evil twin!

  15. ron(whining tone) I will miss you...this is where I come to laugh, for heaven's sake!! so the archives, ok ok...makes sense...I feel deeply for you , dear man, working that nasty counter I know too well :) although I am one of those nice ones you talk to for an hour if you have the have a good christmas, if we don't meet up before then, won't we, no no, I can't imagine your sweet comments so I won't....

    kisses and hugs til next time....

  16. Good Evening Akelamalu!

    aww....thank you, dear lady!

    This year I'm actually working more hours than I did the previous years (which I'm very grateful for), but it's going to be a very tight schedule. LOOOOONG hours each day!

    And yes, I'll try and be nice to the customers.

    Actually so far so good!

    tee, hee!

    Yet the final 5 days can get pretty HAIRY!

    Thanks so much for stopping by today, Akelamalu!

    Have a wonderful weekend!!!!


  17. Howdy Jeff!!!

    OMG...that's a GREAT idea about the receipt!!!!

    You and Dave gave me some awesome come-back lines!!!

    I may actually try them this year!

    Hey....I think that's really neat about you going to the mall on Christmas Eve and people watch! I bet you see some CRAZY shit too! It's those customers who expect the stores to be FULLY stocked with stuff and cannot understand WHY we still don't have them???

    I actually had people get FURIOUS with me, because the gift sets were all sold out!!!

    The insanity really hasn't been that bad as of yet, but as it get closer and can just FEEL it the minute you walk into the store. Right now, people are still calm and enjoying their shopping experiences...and smiling!

    oooh and hey...if you DO stop in the store, I'll take a quick break and we'll grab a cup of java, ok?

    *I'll be the guy standing there holding a FREE gift in my hand and HAGGLING with a customer!


    It's ALWAYS great seeing ya, buddy!

    Thanks for stopping by and adding your wonderful humor!

    Enjoy your weekend in all that abundant SNOW...and know I'll be jealous!

    All we're getting here is RAIN!

    Later gator!

    Happy Holidays to you and your family!

  18. Hellooooo Linda!!!!!!

    Oh you sweet lady!

    Thank you for your kind works!

    I'm REALLY going to miss being online! Starting Monday is when my REALLY looong days begin. Some days I'll be there 9-10 hours, but it's only for a short period of time and I'm grateful for the hours, so I'll put on a happy face and try to have fun!!!

    I have off in January, so I'll CRASH then.

    OH...and YOU'D be the kind of customer I LOVE! I really enjoy talking to people and getting to know them, so they become loyal customers who continue to return. Several of the people I work with think I'm nuts for talking so long to a customer, but to me...successful business is all about building LOYALTY and TRUST.

    And yes...if you feel like it and have some time, you can browse through my archives and maybe you'll find some GIGGLES there!

    Thanks SOOOO MUCH for stopping by today, Linda!

    ALWAYS a wonderful treat sharing and talking with ya!

    Have a GREAT weekend!

    And Happy Holidays to you and your family!

  19. I would love to bring you a coffee!
    Hang in there - it will soon be over!

  20. How are you getting past my radar...i just now saw you posted. GRRR. I'm missing out. Dang!

    hey I love that cartoon...hehehe funny. You know my brother is a fabulous artist. He does cartoons for his local newspaper every once in a while, usually it's political.

    I hate that you will be gone...*pouting* But I know how it is. I'm swamped too and really need to crunch some numbers and send out a report to headquarters but I'm dragging my feet on it. It seems the team I'm hooked on has a miond of it's own, but I'll get it going back on coiurse...on Monday.

    I'll be back to check on you and to say my holidays greeting.

    Ciao sweetie. Take good care of you...for us. :D

  21. Happy Holiday Casdok!

    ALWAYS wonderful seeing you, dear lady!!

    You're so right...before I know will be all over!

    This is why, even though this time of the year can be VERY trying, it's important for me to take the time to ENJOY it!

    I do SO love Christmas!

    Thanks SO MUCH for stopping by today, my friend!

    Hope you and C are doing well, and enjoying the Holiday season!

    Blessings to you!

  22. Hola Divine Miss Jones!!

    It's a pleasure seeing you whenever you stop no worries.

    And THANK YOU for enjoy in the cartoon, because when I saw it...I freaking HOWLED!

    It so depicts my sense of HUMOR!

    It's it CUTE???

    Back in September I agreed to work more hours during the holiday, and when I made out my monthly calandar I realized...."HOLY SHIT, these are going to be some long-ass hours without a day off!" But I'm REALLY grateful for the extra hours and it's only for 12 days, ya know?

    Today I had to be in VERY early, because of an event we had. It was INSANE, but my company did very well, so I'm happy!

    Thanks for stopping by, dear friend!

    I'll try and drop by your place when I can, ok?

    Hope you, your girl and boys are enjoying this holiday season!!!

    Love ya!

    Ciao bella!

  23. Lots of love, hugs, Scotch and chocolate wished for you. My best thoughts go to you for being in retail during the holidays. You are a better person than I.

  24. Hiya Nitebyrd!

    Thank you for all the support, Sis! started the MADNESS!And not with the customers, mind you...more with some of the FREAKS I work with!!! I lost it with one today and it was not a pretty sight!


    I'll keep ya posted sometime this week to let you know how everything is going.

    Thanks for stopping by, dear lady!

    Have a wonderful week!

    "It's the most wonderful time of the year..!"



  25. Maybe you need some coffee like my Mother had during the holidays. Normally, "very testy" she seemed jovial, even more so as the hectic day went on. My sister and I found out she liked a little vodka in her coffee. As the day progressed I think it was less coffee...more vodka. eh, eh, eh

    Take care, my dear.


    Ps I will be on line less this month too (way behind on commissioned pieces). :O

  26. Hang in there sweetie! I did the retail thing last year and well - I tore my own tendon to get out of having to do it again this year ;)

    love ya!

    don't let them get you down. smile and sell them something they'll hate in the morning.

  27. Hi Ron.....

    OMG!! I was ALREADY having withdrawls myself because I hadn't looked at your blog over the weekend.... I just thought you hadn't posted and I was getting worried... since you are on my "Update" list... I TOTALLY understand how busy you will be...
    AND, let me tell you.. because I will actually be "on vacation" after 1 pm this coming Saturday.... (I am going to work on Monday, though for just one class- a half an hour....
    On the 23/24 Alex and I are driving to Strasburg.. the cute little town that rolls up a MEAN gingerbre
    ad and also peach artisanale beer... and the famous wine of the region... Of COURSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I'll think of you!!! hehehe... Do you like gingerbread? Let me know...
    Also, we are going to mom-in-laws on Christmas day to eat a "traditional" French meal... I'll steer clear of the foie gras, thank you!!!
    I will definitely be thinking of you, though... Don't you worry...
    Merry Christmas.... Merry Christmas... to you!!!!!!

  28. Good Evening Dearest Gypsy-Heart

    OMG....that's HYSTERICAL!!!

    I wonder if it would have the same effect if I added some WINE????

    No...I think I'll drink coffee during the day...and save my glass of wine for the evenings!!!!


    When I got home this evening, the first thing I did was take a HOT felt SO good. I've been going to bed earlier too. I have to keep myself rested and well for the next seven days.

    Hey, good luck with your commission pieces! I'm SURE they'll be BRILLIANT!

    Thanks for stopping by, my friend!

    Have a wonderful week!

    Love ya!

  29. Helloooo Dianne!

    Isn't retail this time of the year SPECIAL????

    So far I've been able to keep on laughing and stay positive. Customers seem to be patience and cheerful!


    Let's hope it stays this way during the next week!

    Keep your fingers crossed!

    Thanks a bunch for dropping by, dear lady!

    ALWAYS so great seeing ya!

    Love ya!

  30. Bonjour Leesa!

    Hi...sweet lady!

    Yes...I posted this on Friday, just to give everyone a "heads-up" on what would be going on with me for the next 12 days. I knew that things would be getting VERY BUSY for me and I need to stay really focused on my job.

    OMG...that's right, I forgot that being a teacher, you would have off! How wonderful to have this nice break!

    And your trip to Strasburg sounds incredible!!! God...I wish I could be with you both! And YES...I LOVE gingerbread...but of course!!! You know ME and SWEETS!!!!

    Have a FABULOUS time with the in-laws and enjoy that traditional French meal!!!

    I'll try and post the middle of this week, just to let everyone I'm well and surviving!

    Thanks SO MUCH for dropping by today, Leesa!

    I so appreciate your visit!

    Have a great week!

    Miss ya!

  31. great sense of humor. poignantly funny, but profound.

  32. Greetings Darkspark!

    Welcome!....thanks so much for stopping by and taking the time to share a comment!

    Also, thank you for your comment on Blogcatalog, that was so nice of you!

    Hope you're having a wonderful holiday season!!!

    HO, HO, HO!

    Please stop by anytime, it was very nice meeting you!

    Have great day!

  33. Boy.....I sure hope you're finding great joy in the holiday madness.

    Sing lotsa obnoxious holiday songs--carry a hippopotamus and have a go at the Hippo song!

    <--worked for me!


    Be taking care of yourself...

  34. Hiya Mel!

    OMG...that's so CUTE!

    Thanks dear lady...GREAT advice!!!

    I'll definately try that too!

    It hasn't been TOO bad, but a week from now I may be saying something different!

    Thanks SO MUCH for stopping by!

    That's so sweet of you!

    Hope all is well!