Friday, April 17, 2009

Relationships....Straight or Gay

I haven't ever really shared much about my relationships with men on this blog, because there's not a whole hell of a lot to share.

I've been single for most of my life and don't date much.

I've had one committed five year relationship with a man who is now married.

Last week a good blogger friend of mine, Chrissy, shared a humorous and charming post about a female friend of hers who once dated men, but was currently in a happy relationship with a women.

Chrissy warm-heartily said, "Maybe I should think about switching teams, if it's that easy."

And I shared with her in my comment, "Trust me...it's not any easier."

Her post has caused me to want to share my own personal views on the similarities of relationships - straight or gay.

Most things that straight couples contend with when it comes to "relationships" are pretty much the same things that gay couples contend with.

Straight couples experience opposite sex challenges, while gay couples experience same sex challenges.

With straight couples it's..."Well, that's because you're a MAN or that's because you're a WOMAN."

With gay couples it's..."Well, that's because I see MYSELF in you."

And yet truthfully, both couples experience these same two things....in the reflection of self.

And here's something interesting...

...I once had someone ask me, "So...in a gay relationship, who is the man and who is the woman?"

(meaning...who is aggressive and who is passive)

And I responded, "Well...let me ask you something. Who wears the pants and who wears the dress in your relationship?"

Because in any relationship (straight or gay) it's not always the man wearing the pants and the woman wearing the dress. Not all men are aggressive and not all women are passive. Certain men may be more passive, while certain women may be more aggressive. And if that works in a relationship...then so be it.

So being male or female, doesn't mean the man or woman will take on the stereo-typical caveman/cavewoman roles in their relationships, whether straight or gay.

It totally depends on the individuals.

And as far as the sexual part of a relationship goes, I can only speak as a gay man, but there's also similarities.

Sometimes gay couples will be ideally matched in the "sex-department" and other times one will have more of a sex drive, while the other one is, "Oh...but we just had sex two weeks ago, I can't get it up this soon. Besides, I have a headache."

So you see...when it comes to relationships (man-woman, man-man, woman-woman) it's identical.

Two people....sharing, laughing, crying, fighting, supporting; working to accept one another and then bending and conforming.

Sometimes it's a perfect match.

And other times it's a challenge.

But as far as I can tell, all relationships seem to come down to the same thing...

A committed bond to take it as far as it will go.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

X