Shhhh....I've Got a Secret

I'm probably what you would call an underarm deodorant junkie.

Mainly, because after awhile they all lose their effectiveness, so it seems to help if I rotate brands.

I've tried a lot of deodorants on the market, including that natural Crystal Rock. OMG...can I just tell sucked elephant! And not only did it NOT work for me, but the whole idea of wetting a rock and rubbing it under my arms screwed with my psyche. I felt like Daniel Boone in the wilderness.

I'm basically "natural" when it comes to my health and will always go the alternative route first, but apparently my armpits don't feel that way. They seem to need UN-natural.

I usually use an antiperspirant/deodorant, but there's really no point in me using an antiperspirant because nothing outside of the Hoover Dam could ever stop me from sweating.

So the only real reason for me to use anything is to mask the delicate Italian Hoagie odor.

My personal preference is to use a roll-on, because the gel-stick deodorants burn my underarms, and the white chalking deodorants seem to cake-up my hair; making it look as though I've just rubbed on a handful of wet flour.

One day, several years ago, I was meandering down the deodorant isle at either CVS or Rite Aide, and came across a shelf of deodorants intended for a woman.

Now, I truly don't understand this concept.

Women's deodorant - Men's deodorant.

I mean, if you look at all the ingredients in both of them, they're exactly the same...except for maybe the scent.

Fruit and flowers versus pine needles and sea spray.

Gee...I wonder if could be a subliminal sales gimmick?


Anyway, I spotted a bottle of Secret and was suddenly reminded of the TV commercial.

"Secret....strong enough for a man, but made for a woman"

And I thought to myself, "Hell...if it's strong enough for a man, then a man can certainly use it. So I bought a bottle. ended up being the best damn deodorant I've ever tried.

And the scent is perfect. It's just clean and fresh.

I still rotate brands, but I really look forward to when the time comes for me to switch to Secret.

So now that I've confessed this to you, you've got to swear not to tell another living soul, ok?

I mean, after is called Secret.

"Secret...for people who know how to keep their mouth shut"


  1. DAMN.........and here I was craving something jucier.
    Come're holding out on us!
    You've got a pair of those assless Chippendale pants or something, right?! ;0

  2. <-- knows the product well


  3. my son uses a deodorant that smells absolutely deivine he says its called chocolate (thats isn't what it make me think of though) I think he said it was by Linx

    your secret is safe with me until I start using it and get asked what it is

    have a good day dear Ron

  4. HILARIOUS! The best blog I've read in weeks! You are too good. When is the publisher coming for you? Or, better yet, the folks at Procter & Gamble!
    Keep 'em coming - you're an inspiration.


  5. Hello Ron,
    Once again, put it there, parner... Deo is one thing that I have to have.
    I swear, in the first years in France, I must have tried them ALL; when you are used to certain brands switiching is hard.

    OK; if Secret works for you, than why not. It is not perfumy if I remember well.

    But honestly, I don't think that I'll do likewise and roll on Brut.

    Big hugs xxxx

  6. Aloha Debi!!

    You're hysterical!'re just DYING for that masterbation post, aren't you???

    Ok...I promise sometime next week I'll talk about my days as a male stripper. It'll all be a lie, but I'll make it sound good!


    Great seeing ya, Deb!

    Thanks for stopping by!

    Mr. Chippendale of 1974

  7. Mornin' Mel!

    YEEEHAAAAW! A Secret user!!!

    Ain't it the BEST? I know that my secret is safe with you, right??

    tee, hee!



  8. Hellooooo Lady in Red!!!

    YES!!!...I know the brand your talking about (Linx). I've seen it in the drug stores here in the States. I think it's a spray deodorant?!?!

    Now that's interesting....chocolate!?! sound like something Godiva would make! As you know, I love chocolate, so I may just have to try it!!

    ooohh...if you ever get the chance, please do try Secret. Honestly, it really is one of the best deodorants I've ever used - I think you'll enjoy it.

    And thanks for keeping my Secret, dear Lady!!!

    Always so nice seeing ya!

    Enjoy your day!!!

  9. Howdy Expat!

    Thank you, kind sir.

    So happy that you enjoy my CRAZINESS!

    I find that there's so many little things that happen to me in everyday life, that make for blog writing.

    It's so nice having you here, bud!

    Thank you for your presence!

    Enjoy your day!

  10. Bonjour Barbara!

    That's a good point. Do they have US deodorants in France? I bet if they do, they're probably more expensive.

    I remember living in Japan and searching for a few US products, but couldn't find them. However, the great thing was that I was able to try stuff that I had never used.

    Oh...and you're not going to believe this, but my mother ONLY uses men's deodorant! She says that she enjoys the fragrance better!!!

    Thanks for stopping by, Barb!

    I hope you and Didier had a wonderful anniversary, yesterday!!

    X to you both!

  11. I use crystal rock and find it very effective, though I've tried lots of antiperspirant/deodorants that haven't been. I guess they don't all suit everyone. I'm sure you smell - beautiful! ;)

  12. I agree Deodorants lose their effectiveness after awhile. In my case I have to rotate them every two weeks. From arm and hammer to dove, to your very Secret!

    I started using doves cucumber something clinic strength. YOU wanna know a secret, I think it is better than yours!

  13. I have the same Secret. I need something strong enough for a man.

    Your Secret's safe with me. But I'm gonna tell about the Crystal Rock.

  14. Me, I like to rub peanut butter in in arm pits. It smells like a school lunch and if I get hungry all I have to is lift a shoulder and try to get my mouth in there and lap away. When I walk into a room people stop, sniff, stare and salavate. They rush into the kitchen and get two slices of white bread a butter knife and a jar of grape jelly. They fly back into the room and flock around me and look at me as if I am some kind of answer to the world hunger problem. It is then I raise my arms and without hesitation the people who have gathered around me notice a brown oozing mess in my pits and they continue to bend over and get sick.
    I am just glad I do not like crunchy.

  15. Dahling,
    my life is uneventful and blah.
    But that's the way (uh-huh, uh-huh)
    I like it (uh-huh, uh-huh)
    Enlighten me. With my insomnia, the images of you as a Chippendale would be therapeutic for me :)

  16. Ronnie...hello! hehehe.

    hahaha...handful of wet flower...hehehe. the thing is I've seen that on people. You have come to the right person o keep your secret. Yep and that someone is me. If they threatened to torture me with great pain...ronnie, I would not give up your secret!

    But ronnie baby, the things I'd do for casholla is mind staggering.

    Remember money money...makes the world go around. hehehe...the world go around. I figure somebody is willing to pay at least a buck fifty to know your secret. And that is going into my piggy bank...wahahahaha!

    (Spiky wrings her hands together and laughs insanely with a wild look in my eyes...or it might just be gas. hehehe.)

    hehehe...It's a fabulous post ronnie. I was giggling through it all. hehehe.

    ciao Mr. Boone babe. xxx

  17. Helloooo Akelamalu!

    I know of many people who SWEAR by the Crystal Rock and have found it VERY effective. I think for me, I perspire SO's just not strong enough. Not just the wetness...but the odor too!

    I'm a little Piggy!

    And you're right, not all things work the same for all people.

    Thanks SOOOOO much for stopping by, dear lady!

    Hope you had a great Wednesday!

  18. Hiya Domestic Diva!

    Hey listen.....THANK YOU SO MUCH for letting me know about Dove!!!!

    I really like getting recommendations from people, so if you say it's good...I will definitely try it the next time I'm in the drug store.

    I've used various things from Dove (soap, face wash, shower gel) and have enjoyed them!!

    I'll let you know how I like it, OK?

    Hope you're having a great day, Diva!

    And as always...thanks for stopping by!

  19. Hiya San!!!!

    What a wonderful treat seeing ya!!!

    How have you been?

    YAY...another Secret lover!!

    Isn't it the BOMB? There's something about it that just "clicks" for my armpits!

    oooh...and thank you for keeping my Secret...shhhh!

    But can tell about the Crystal Rock!

    Tee, hee!

    Happy Wednesday, San!

  20. got me again, mister!!!!


    How the hell did you think of that???

    Listen...I actually think it's a great idea...

    ...this way you have always have your lunch handy. Bring two slices of whole wheat bread and a bag of potato chips with you...and you're set to go!

    Thanks for your wit, my friend!

    ALWAYS enjoyed!!!

    Enjoy your evening!

  21. Aloha Debi!

    OMG...NO! If you saw me as a Chippendale before you sleep...I think you would end up having NIGHTMARES!!!

    Especially if I were to dance in my bunny ears and tail!

    (don't laugh...I DO have bunny ears and a tail)

    (and don't ask me WHY?)


    Sleep tight, dear lady!


  22. OOOOOOOOH....Miss alway kill me with your humor, girl!!

    (Spiky wrings her hands together and laughs insanely with a wild look in my eyes...or it might just be gas. hehehe.)!

    That was GREAT!!!!

    Ok, listen...I'll pay you a buck fifty a day to keep my secret, but you gotta promise me that you'll use that money at the end of the year to buy me MORE Secret!

    You can sorta be like my Christmas club savings bank.

    In exchange...I'll give you FREE reflexology treatments for six months...via email!


    Thanks for dropping by Miss J!

    You always make me laugh!

    Ciao bella!

  23. This is funny. I use unscented Mennen!

  24. Hiya Chrissy!!!

    This is funny....

    ...if you read the comment I left for Barbara, you'll see that I told her that my mother uses men's deodorant. And guess what her favorite is????...

    Mennen Speed Stick!!!

    (the green and white bottle)

    She swears that men's deodorant works better and enjoy's the scent!!!

    Different strokes for different folks!

    *I mean, that is...underarm strokes!


    Thanks for stopping by, Chrissy!

    Enjoy your day!

  25. What can I say, Ron. At least you're not swapping briefs for brassieres, or Chap Stick for lip gloss. And, well, the ph balance may not exactly be tuned to the Y chromosome, but the strength certainly is. Best of luck in the underarm arena.

  26. Hey MVD!

    aaahh....ya know, I never thought about the PH balance!?

    So you may have something there!

    And that amazes me too, because I think I probably have the PH level of a farm animal!

    Oink, oink!

    Thanks for stopping by, bud!

    Always great seeing ya!

    Enjoy your evening!

  27. geez ron, you will blog about ANYTHING!!

    crazy man....

    anyway, i have always heard that secret is the best, man or woman or kid...just the best and have no idea why...not that i use any! :D

    so now we've had pooping, deodorants, dirty shoes, shaving (didn't you do shaving?) ,hemms, sexual attraction (didn't you do that too?) you see, i'm just too damned tired to even cap my i's, from having these crazy nutty kids running all over my house and i can be honest here as no one is going to see it right??? anyway, ron, i'm so tired, i could drop into bed for a week on bread and water as i've gained weight with all the sugar and non-activity except looking at the kids and falling down exhausted otherwise-who can take a walk and i've got cows in my driveway anyway, i kid you ok...i'm done bitching and will go back to my corner of the blogplanet and just be explanation of not having energy to go and read your blog and see what exactly you have written about lately, i just know it's been about "personal" care stuff....personal meaning absolutely nothing to some people who live in phil and work at saks, neiman or wherever you work, too tired to go look but thiinnk it's sakkksssss......oh i must stop.

  28. roger gallet ginger spice? try it, you'll like it.


  29. OMG...Linda....

    ...your comment made me HOWL!

    You are SOOOOO funny!

    I could actually FEEL your tiredness, but I honestly know it must be EXHAUSTING for you. I love kids, truly I do...but I have a time limit. Well...soon they'll be gone and things will be back to normal. I bet they love being with you, though.

    I know...I'll literally talk about most anything on this blog. And it's funny, because when I first started Vent, I was sort of conservative about what I wrote, but now I'm like, "Oh well!"'re right, I did do a post about shaving!!!

    Just wait until you read tomorrows post!

    Anyway Linda, just know that I'm sending you much "good energy" your way!

    Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by!

    Sleep well, dear friend!


  30. Hello again Linda!

    What is that...a tea or something?

    I mean, it can't be a deodorant, right?


  31. I have those crystal ones! LOL They don't work very well but I feel very "green" when I use 'em.

    I'm going for Mitchum as Ban seems to have stopped doing the job.

  32. Hiya Nitebyrd!

    Me too...when I first tried the CRYSTAL, a lot of my "green conscious friends" were using it, so I thought I'd give a go, but pits must not be GREEN?!?!


    Hey...I remember using Mitchum too! I need to maybe try that one again.

    Thanks for stopping by, Sis!


  33. LOLOLOL. too funny. well their motto says it's strong enough for a man, you're a man and you have a secret. :)

    i was going to say shave your arm pits and change your diet, but you've got secret.

    i know people that don't use deodorant and they don't smell either. weird. i'd be funky by noon.

  34. Hiya Natural!


    I'm a man and a man with a SECRET!!!!

    OMG...I know, doesn't that AMAZE you about how some people don't have a need for deodorant because they don't have an ODOR???

    Like you shared, they say that has to do with a persons diet. Well...obviously mine is so filled with garlic and pasta, that I NEED a deodorant.

    At least I'm rest assured that I won't be attracting any vampires!

    ALWAYS so nice seeing ya, Natural!

    Thank you for stopping by and I hope you have a GREAT weekend!