Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Shhhh....I've Got a Secret

I'm probably what you would call an underarm deodorant junkie.

Mainly, because after awhile they all lose their effectiveness, so it seems to help if I rotate brands.

I've tried a lot of deodorants on the market, including that natural Crystal Rock. OMG...can I just tell you...it sucked elephant! And not only did it NOT work for me, but the whole idea of wetting a rock and rubbing it under my arms screwed with my psyche. I felt like Daniel Boone in the wilderness.

I'm basically "natural" when it comes to my health and will always go the alternative route first, but apparently my armpits don't feel that way. They seem to need UN-natural.

I usually use an antiperspirant/deodorant, but there's really no point in me using an antiperspirant because nothing outside of the Hoover Dam could ever stop me from sweating.

So the only real reason for me to use anything is to mask the delicate Italian Hoagie odor.

My personal preference is to use a roll-on, because the gel-stick deodorants burn my underarms, and the white chalking deodorants seem to cake-up my hair; making it look as though I've just rubbed on a handful of wet flour.

One day, several years ago, I was meandering down the deodorant isle at either CVS or Rite Aide, and came across a shelf of deodorants intended for a woman.

Now, I truly don't understand this concept.

Women's deodorant - Men's deodorant.

I mean, if you look at all the ingredients in both of them, they're exactly the same...except for maybe the scent.

Fruit and flowers versus pine needles and sea spray.

Gee...I wonder if could be a subliminal sales gimmick?

Hmmm......

Anyway, I spotted a bottle of Secret and was suddenly reminded of the TV commercial.

"Secret....strong enough for a man, but made for a woman"

And I thought to myself, "Hell...if it's strong enough for a man, then a man can certainly use it. So I bought a bottle.

Well...it ended up being the best damn deodorant I've ever tried.

And the scent is perfect. It's just clean and fresh.

I still rotate brands, but I really look forward to when the time comes for me to switch to Secret.

So now that I've confessed this to you, you've got to swear not to tell another living soul, ok?

I mean, after all...it is called Secret.

"Secret...for people who know how to keep their mouth shut"