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The image that you see above is a photo taken of my younger brother, Tom, when he was just a little tater tot.

(he looks like a model, doesn’t he?)

Those of you who have been reading here for awhile already know about the times I spent torturing this little boy by waking him up in the middle of the night whenever our parents went out for the evening; doing my best to scare him, by telling him that a serial killer was in the basement with a butcher knife and was coming upstairs to murder us.

However, what I have never shared with you, were the times I spent drawing pictures of stick people on his face with a black magic marker while he was asleep, so that when he woke up in the morning and came downstairs for breakfast, my mother would look at him wide-eyed and say, “Tom…what have you got all over your FACE??”

(as he sat there perplexed; not knowing what the hell she was referring to)

But I think the most evil thing that I’ve ever done to him, were the times when I would remove the thin elastic bands that were on the back of my Halloween masks and then shoot them at him while he was asleep. I loved watching him suddenly bolt up-right in his bed, clutching the side of neck; screaming, “WHAAAAAAAAT WAS THAAAAT??”

And it was at that point, I would hold him lovely and say, “Oh, there-there, Tom, it was just a nasty poltergeist…go back to sleep.”

All of this makes me wonder why later in life he never tried to kill me by throwing a hair dryer into my bath.

Anyway…moving on to more pleasant thoughts….

As you know, I have two other siblings, however, Tom is my favorite.

Tom is actually my half-brother from my father’s second marriage. And yet, he and I have never felt any less close because of that - we always have had a special connection.

We were the last two siblings to leave home and are closer in age, therefore, had time to bond.

The thing that makes Tom so special…is his wonderful soul.

He’s a “guy’s guy” yet, at the same time can feel totally comfortable being around anyone. He has no pretentiousness and is genuinely sincere. He feels deeply and is very sensitive. He is loyal and honest. He loves to laugh.

If you were to meet him, you would instantly feel good.

And even though Tom and I are different in certain ways, we’ve never once had an argument or expressed harsh words to one another. We respect one another enough to listen to each other’s view points and never judge. We give each other our space, knowing when to speak and when not to speak.

Our relationship is open and free, therefore, we hold no preconceived idea about how brothers are suppose to be with one another. We know in our hearts that we would be there for one another, but there is never any pressure to BE a certain way.

We can go weeks without talking to one another, yet when we speak on the phone, it’s like no time has passed.

Just yesterday, he and I talked, because I wanted to ask him if he wouldn’t mind sharing his baby picture on this post. He reads this blog often, so I didn’t want him to suddenly show up one day and see his face staring back at him, and go, “Holy shit…why does that little boy look like me?”

Yes…you’re on the Internet now, Tom!

I wrote this post because I feel terribly guilty having done all those WRETCHED things to you when we were kids. You had every right to take your BMW and run over me.

Yet, know that my readers will tell me in their comments how hideous I was and that if I had been their brother, I wouldn’t have lived long enough to experience my first orgasm.

Honestly, though…I know I may not say it often, but please know how happy and proud I am to have you as my brother.

You’re everything a friend can be.

Love you.

Have a great weekend everyone!


  1. Hey Ron!!

    What a WONDERFUL post about your bro! He sounds so special and what a great guy-- to have also gone through childhood with you (tormenting him like that) and you guys coming out having the best relationship!! I have a few tears rolling down my cheeks (I admit)....
    I also tormented my two younger bros when we were kids... I was the oldest and we are all 2 years apart! I used to put shaving cream in there hands while they slept and then brushed their faces with a feather... hehe!!! All other stuff aside... My brothers are great guys and I'm glad they didn't hold anything against me, either!
    It sounds like your brother Tom is a very sweet and compassionate guy!! The pics are adorable! Cutie pie!!
    Have a great weekend, Ron!!! I hope we see more of Tom on your blog in the future... Hugs, Leese

  2. What a wonderful tribute to your brother. Handsome side. You think you did awful things you meany. When I was growing up I wet the bed. One night I woke up in time to got to the bathroom. Thinking I went to my younger brothers bed stood over him and peed on him to make it look like he wet the bed. When I turned around my mom and step father were at the door. I got a licking of my life. And my brother didn't wake up until after all of this and my mom had to wake him to get it all clean. Aloha

  3. Wooo! Another Carnavil hottie! LOL Poor guy had to put up with that mean ol' bully Ronnie!

  4. Oh, as the 'baby' from a blended 'yours, mine and ours' family, I know the pain. But only cuz I inflicted it!!

    The 'used to be the baby' (half) sister and I have this delightful, unique relationship.
    I'll give that she tried to take your role as the terrorist...LOL....unfortunately she failed miserably.
    But she did make a great target! Still does, actually....


    SHE'S the one who took more than her share of the 'nice' gene's--I figure her troubles are purely of her own making!


    Yup. Definitely time to send her that 'care package' with the 'Roadkill Recipies' book.
    The cover alone will do wonders for her.

  5. Great tribute, Ron. I was half expecting to hear about your brother's kiwi shaving habits once I ventured past paragraph five. But then again, based on this heartfelt tale of terrible cruelty, you’d probably have hidden the razors in his bed sheets before he even had a shot.

  6. You rotten mean wretched little boy!!! I would have put some itching powder in your underpants as revenge. There would have never been a need to shave the kiwis, you could have just scratched the hair right off! hehe

    I think we all have some sibling stuff going on at times. I don't remember the details but I know I wasn't always so nice to my sis. I kinda remember swinging in from a party in late high school and conking her on the head with a beer mug. LOL
    Maybe for awhile I was jealous too because she was younger and quieter and seemed to get more attention. She had some allergy issues and couldn't have different foods for awhile. And she got the braces because her teeth were worse than mine. And she got to live home after high school and my Mom took care of her son, where I was more on my own, etc. etc.

    I'm so glad that you and your brother have a nice relationship!
    Hi Tom!! Nice to meet you. :)

    And you can console him next year when he's weeping that the Eagles lose another season..... hehe
    I know my hubby is a real fan too and he gets soooo excited for awhile and then... well... you know, just has to wait for another year. LOL

    Regarding the presents for my daughter:
    *family dinner at the restaurant
    *choco chip cookie cake
    *bouquet of flowers (alstroemeria)
    *two summer shirts, one a brown maternity t-shirt that says 'Precious Cargo', the other a fuschia and black print tee.
    *earrings to match the shirts, yes, I made them
    *a pair of sunglasses she wanted from Avon
    *a silver frame that says 'Mom' and engraved with 'I Love You' that I got for Alex to give her. I also printed a picture of him kissing her and put that in there.
    *handmade card with a 'kokopelli' stamp (He's the native american flute player symbol that she likes alot)
    *our unconditional love

    Have a terrifically fabu weekend neighbor!

  7. Dearest Vent: I think this post is as revealing about Tom as it is about you! You are both terrific characters, indeed. Too bad he doesn't blog, too! Keep 'em coming!


  8. Bonjour Leesa!

    OMG...I DO remember that "thing" about putting shaving cream in someone's hand while they we asleep!!

    HOW FUNNY!!!!

    And do you also remember that "thing" about putting someone's hand in a pan of warm water, so that they would PEE in bed????


    That was a "college dorm thing!"

    Yes, Tom is the COOOLEST guy!

    He's got such an OPEN heart!

    Thanks for stopping by, Leesa!

    Have an AWESOME weekend!

    HUGS back at ya!

  9. Aloha Thom!


    HOLY SHIT...that was BRILLIANT!!!

    All I could invision was your unsuspecting sleepy-eyed brother being woken up and seeing himself covered in pee.

    Isn't it funny the things we remember doing to our siblings that at the time were just GOD AWFUL, yet looking back, it makes for the BEST blog posts??

    I guess it's all part of wonderful comedy of family life! I''ve always felt that the BEST stories come from real life!

    Thanks for your kind words Thom!

    And thank you for stopping by today!

    Always GREAT seeing ya!

    Enjoy your weekend, bud!

  10. Aloha Debi!

    I know...

    ...I should be sent to HELL!

    Thanks, Deb...hopefully he'll scan the comments on this post and read that he's a HOTTIE!

    Enjoy your weekend!

    Thanks a bunch for dropping by!

  11. Howdy Mel!

    ...Definitely time to send her that 'care package' with the 'Roadkill Recipies' book.

    THAT WAS FAAAABULOUS!!!! have no idea about much that made me laugh!

    Listen...maybe it's a "Libra TERRORIST Thing" we all share, because I know so many of us who acted like the spawn of SATAN!

    Thanks for sharing on this post, Mel!

    TOTALLY enjoyed it!

    Have a great weekend sitting on your patio star-gazing!

  12. Hey MVD...

    I know...

    ....aren't I an EVIL son-of-a bitch??

    LOVED your thougts about hiding the razors in his bed sheets!!!

    That was friggin' BRILLIANT!!!!

    However, I think I'm the only one in my family who's taken to shaving my kiwis!

    God...I'm actually scared about asking my mother what she thought of THAT post!

    (I'm sure she just rolled her eyes)

    Thanks for stopping by, bud!

    ALWAYS enjoyed!

    Have a great weekend!

  13. YOU LITTLE HORROR!!! All those horrible things you did to your long suffering brother!

    However, you have penned this lovely tribute to him and I believe you when you say you love him so I'll not scold you anymore.

    BTW he's a handsome devil! ;)

  14. Helloooo Crystal Chick!

    I know...

    ...I am EVIL and must be destroyed!

    Honestly? I don't know HOW Tom ever put up with me. I think he knew I was creativity bored in my childhood and allowed himself to be subjected to my madness!

    Actually, when I wasn't tormenting Tom, I took very good care of him. My mother claims that I spoiled him by doing everything for him.

    Maybe I felt a little guilty, perhaps???

    OMG...and please don't ever mention the Eagles around my brother. Even though he lives in Florida, he's still such a loyal fan to Philly. Every year (when they LOSE), he doesn't want to talk about it - and I can't blame him. Thank god the Phillies won last year!

    OMG...your daughters birthday presents sounded wonderful! I especially enjoyed the unconditional love! I bet she loved the dinner too!

    That was such a beautiful post you wrote about her, M!

    Thanks for stopping by, neighbor!

    Hey...and I almost forgot about this being a holiday weekend. The city will be nice and quiet...aaaaah!

    Have a great one!

  15. Dearest Expat!

    You are so right!

    This post does reveal much about how AWESOME Tom is!

    I mean, talk about unconditional love and forgivness!

    Funny you should mention Tom blogging, because he's actually considering starting one of his own. I told him I would customize it for him, so hopefully he'll decide to give it a go!

    Always great seeing ya, Expat!

    Thank you for stopping by!

    Have a great holiday weekend!

  16. Hi Akelamalu!

    I deserved to be scolded.

    And yes...HORROR is the perfect word!

    Little Shop of Horrors!


    Thanks for sweet compliment about Tom. I know he'll enjoy reading it.

    And yes...I do love him!

    Thanks for dropping by m' dear!

    ALWAYS enjoyed!

    The BAD brother

  17. such a wonderful post!

    and such a beautiful man, both inside and out--I can see it in his sweet soulful eyes...all brothers (and sisters) torture each other and yet, we manage to grow up, for the most part...although this post really made me laugh! thank you for that and sharing your wonderfully sweet little brother who is now such a wonderful cannot be luckier than that.

  18. Hi Linda!

    Thank you, dear lady!

    I'm sure when Tom reads your comment he'll smile!

    He does have soulful eyes, doesn't he?

    And you're so right...we all grow up torturing one another and yet all manage to grow up and share funny stories about those times!!!

    Glad you had a giggle, Linda!

    Me too!

    Thanks a lot for stopping by today!

    Wishing you a wonderful holiday weekend!!!



  19. I was kind of a little stinker to sweetie... but you had be beat hehehe.

    Oh..handsome runs in the family I see. yes...very handsome.And his smile immediately made me smile.

    sweetie...when me and my brother's like's like no time has passed. We would talk till the cows came home...but can't.

    before I forget...your brother does look like he could had been on comercials...even now.

    stick figures with a marker. hehehe. No nooeesss!

    fab post on your brother ronnie...but I'd still watch traffic. hehehe

    Ciao sweets. have a fab weekend. :D

  20. Good Evening Miss Jones!

    Thanks, sweets!

    He looks a lot like my mother's side of the family. He really resembles my mother's brother who ALSO has the name TOM!

    My mother is very beautiful. When she was younger, she looked exactly like Grace Kelly at the same age. Which I think is ironic since Grace Kelly was also from Philadelphia.

    Isn't it wonderful to have a sibling who you can pick up the phone and just carry on like no time has ever past? Sounds like you and your brother have an awesome relationship too!

    I know, but the worst thing I did to him was shooting those elastic bands at him in his sleep. I know it was horrible - but it was so funny! Thank god I never got him near his eyes!!

    Thanks so much for stopping by this evening, Miss Jones.


    Hope you a wonderful Memorial Day weekend!

    The weather has been gorgeous here, so I'll be spending a lot of time outdoors!

    Ciao bella

  21. Hey, Ronnie!

    What a sweet tribute. I wish I had that great a relationship with my sister. Perhaps one day....

  22. Hey Roberto!

    aawww...thank you, bud!

    Hey, listen...try shooting those elastin bands from your Halloween masks at her!

    (I found it to be very affectionate)


    No, only kidding.

    Trust me though, I DO NOT have the same close relationships with my other two siblings.

    (no comment)

    Thanks for stopping by, Roberto!

    Hope all is going well with your new job.

    Enjoy your weekend!

  23. He looked so sweet and innocent, no wonder you had to torture him. Your relationship with Tom sounds a lot like mine and my sister's. We're as different as night and day but we, too, respect each other differences.

    Not everyone is as lucky to have close relationships with our siblings as you and I. Great tribute to your bro!

  24. Hiya Chrissy!

    He was VERY quiet as a child, so I knew I was SAFE torturing him because he would NEVER breath a word to my parents!

    Aren't I WICKED?

    tee, hee!

    Oh, it's so great to hear that you and your sister share the same kind of close relationship!!

    And you're right...we ARE lucky.

    It's like having a best friend as your sibling!

    Thanks so much for dropping by, Chrissy!

    Hope you're enjoying your holiday weekend.


  25. Hi Ron,
    I didn't have the time Friday to comment on this beautiful post ( having gone out on the town) but I came back to say how wonderful to say these words to your brother !

    OK; you were a brat back then ( who isn't at one time or other ?) and the poor Tom got it again & again.
    But these childish pranks don't stay. You both grew up and yes, became even closer.
    I envy you because I too have a brother but he doesn't speak to me.
    He has nothing to do with me or Debi for whatever reason.

    Thanks to Tom for sharing that so cute pic as a child.
    That family resemblance IS there !

    Hugs to you both XX

  26. Bonjour Barbara!

    Thanks SO MUCH for your sweet words, my friend!

    Tom is a wonderful human being, and one who's life am SO GLAD is a part of mine.

    I'm not at all close to my other siblings, so having my relationship with him means a lot!

    I know if you met him, you would love him!

    Thanks for dropping by today, Barb!

    Always enjoyed!

    Later today, I'm heading out to enjoy the beautiful weather we're having!!

    Happy Memorial Day!


  27. Even though you seem to have been the brother from hell, things look like they worked out okay. I'm sure all siblings kind of torture each other but it's out of love. Isn't it?

  28. Howdy Nitebyrd!

    Yes...I guess all siblings torture one another when they were younger, true.

    However, shooting those elastin bands were sort of Joan Crawfordish!

    tee, hee!

    Thanks for stopping by, Sis!

    With love,
    The Brother from Hell

  29. YES!!! We did the warm water/pee "thing," too!!
    I totally forgot about that one!! hehehehehehe!! It really worked on my little bro, too!! I'm a meanie!!

    Have a wonderful day!!


  30. Bonjour Leesa!

    SEE!!! What did I tell ya?? It works EVERY TIME!!!!

    Good girl!