Gay Marriage and Equality



Let me start by saying that this is not a political post about the legalization of gay marriage, but rather to express my feelings on equality.

Please understand that because I am a gay man, I hear things from gay people that others may not.

There are a large majority of gay people who want same-sex marriage legalized because they somehow believe it will prove to the rest of the world that they are EQUAL. It has nothing to do with gay rights, but rather about being GAY.

Equality is not the government graciously deciding to validated homosexuality through legalizing gay marriage.

True equality is when you know in your heart that you are no different than anyone else. And if someone doesn’t already feel that, then the legalization of gay marriage won’t make them or the rest of the world feel it.

I have never felt unequal as a homosexual. And please know that I’ve had just as many challenges growing up in my youth as the next gay person, so I know what it’s like to be rejected and verbally abused out of fear. But I’ve learned a long time ago to embrace the totality of who I am; allowing the world to think how they wish.

Quite frankly, I’m tired of gay marriage being use as a means for many homosexuals insisting that the rest of the world accept them solely for being gay. Because while they’re insisting that gay be accepted, they are also saying that gay is unacceptable.

I believe that everyone should have the right to be legally married, however, I think it should be for the right reason.

Not just a way to prove to the world that I am gay…and equal.

Because I am.


Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

40 comments

  1. I'm in total agreement with you. I don't need any marriage license to validate my sexual preference. I have felt like that since I can remember. There are many other issues that need to be addressed if you ask me before gay marriage. Child Abuse, Rape, Racism, Spousal Abuse, Education of our children, just to name a few. I don't give a shit what people think of me or my sexual, religious or political beliefs. I'm a human being, an American citizen and have the same rights, privileges and freedoms as every other person born or adopted into this country. So get over it all you people that don't understand that we all have the same equalities and are all equal. And when and if I decide to marry...it will be for the right reason. I have found my soul mate, my friend and someone I love so much I can't explain it. Excellent post my friend. Have a great weekend :) Aloha

    PS - love the photo...I thought for sure one of them would have some type of dress on from Evita ROFLMAO

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  2. If it makes them happy, and if they can find a sane, loyal, normal man (is that possible?!) that's *worth* marrying, then more power to 'em.

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  3. Aloha Thom!

    AMEN!

    And I can tell how much you love your soulmate, because I can hear it in your voice!

    I'm so happy for you both!

    OMG...your comment about the dress made me HOWL! DAMN...I should have thought about that! Oh well, I think the next time I get married I'll wear a gown - something in taffeta perhaps.

    bwhahahahahahaha!

    Thanks for sharing, bud!

    Enjoy your weekend!

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  4. Aloha Debi!

    OMG...TWO Hawaiian "Aloha's" in a row...how FUN!

    *I feel like getting lei'd!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

    Yes...I do think that's possible. I mean, look at me...I'm definitely SANE and NORMAL.

    NOT!

    Thanks for dropping by Debi!

    Have an awesome day!

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  5. i know the bus ends up in the same place but I shouldn't be forced to ride at the back of the bus because I'm not like them.

    If marriage is nothing...just a piece of paper, then why do so many fight to stop two of the same sex from marrying.

    Marriage is an invention of MAN and has become a tradition to celebrate a joining of two that have fallen in love and want to commit to that relationship.

    I could go into God and religion which are two completely different subjects but I won't.

    Being gay is no different than what blacks went through and are still going through in some areas.

    It was illegal in some states for a white to marry a black. I that right? No...and it isn't right to try to stop someone from being what they are...you can't take the gay out of a person just as you can't take the color out of person.

    Let's talk the Bible. There is some good stuff there...but if people read hate and hurt in it...they are reading something I am not.

    People have been beaten and even killed because they are gay.

    It's immoral, my friend once said to me.

    Is it? I asked.

    They have the same marriage as you and your wife. No...let me change that, I know your wife has cheated on you many times and you have done the same against her...and you come talking to me of morality.

    And still you stand there to cast the first stone.

    Remember the words of Martin Niemoller..."First they came for the communist but i was not a communist so I did not speak out: They came for the socialist and trade unionist but I was not on of them, so I did not speak. Then they came for the Jews, but I was not jewish so I didn not speak out. And when they came for me, there was no one left to speak out for me."

    For myself there may never be marriage...and I am fine with it, but I will speak out for my brothers and sisters...even if they don't speak out for me.

    How could I live with myself if i did not.

    politics...they bring out the fighter in me. Sorry.

    Ciao sweetie

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  6. Dearest Miss Jones...

    No need to say you're sorry for anything you've shared in your comment.

    You GO, girl!

    I agree.

    However, I don't believe that gay marriage validates how I feel about my "homosexuality." And whether or not gay marriage is ever legalized...and I am still equal.

    And that's the whole point of this post.

    Thank you so much for sharing Miss Jones!

    I love your passion!!!

    Have a great weekend!

    Ciao bella
    X

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  7. I had to correct something. I thought what his he talking about. I don't have a soulmate. I worded this wrong...should read "And when and if I decide to marry, it will be for the right resons. I will have found a soulmaate, my friend and.....

    It's just me myself, Five Finger Frieda, and Rosy Palms my friend LOL

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  8. Hi Ron,

    I think that if oneu don't already start of working on the inside and finding their worth FIRST, you ain't going to find it in a spouse or anyone else.

    Straight,gay or bi; we are all human .

    I keep on thinking back to a Cold case episode ( You know it Ronnie, that's my fav show), where in the end there is a gay wedding. God; I was crying like mad seeing them so happy ! Love touches me.

    Now if we could only see with Mr right. Any takers out there in the greater Phila area ??

    Hugs back to ya XX

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  9. Aloha Thom!

    OMG...you are HYSTERICAL!!!

    ...It's just me myself, Five Finger Frieda, and Rosy Palms my friend....

    bwhahahahahahaha!

    And the only reason why I giggled is because it's the same for me!

    Ok, but you see I'm psychic, so perhaps your soulmate is close by because I could FEEL it in your voice!

    * I use to work for the Dion Warwick Psychic Network Hotline!!!

    Yeah, right!

    Anway bud, thanks for stopping by again, you always crack me up!

    Aloha!

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  10. Bonjour Barbara!

    BINGO!

    And thank you!

    Because that's my whole point...equality starts INSIDE!

    Hey, I've never heard of the TV show called Cold Case (of course that's because I never turn on the TV!!) but it sounds faaabulous!

    And funny you should mention crying at weddings. I cry at every single wedding I go to (even if I hardly even know the couple. And it's just as you shared...it's the LOVE that touches me.

    *and of course I'm a hopeless romantic - I'm a LIBRA!!

    ooo...I don't know about Mr. Ronnie Right just yet, but I have always felt since moving back east, that this is where I would meet him!

    *and you can be my maid of honor, ok?

    hahahahhaha!

    Thanks for stopping by Barb!

    Have a wonderful weekend!

    X ya!

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  11. Brilliantly said, Ron. To the next generation, this whole debate will become as trite as the old Jim Crow Laws were to this writer in the racially DE-segregated 1980s. And by "trite," I mean "not a big deal" with regards to anyone's sexual preference or choice to marry.

    Sigh, I'm a (very) socially liberal, (somewhat) fiscal conservative. A politician's nightmare.

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  12. Howdy MVD!

    ...Sigh, I'm a (very) socially liberal, (somewhat) fiscal conservative. A politician's nightmare...

    Me too!!!!!

    HA!

    Thanks for stopping, bud!

    Have a AWESOME weekend!

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  13. Sorry Ron I disagree,
    You are way
    ABOVE equal!
    you surpass I great many people i know..
    LOVE YA!

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  14. Very eloquently put. I have felt that some people involved in this debate are looking for validation from outside that they can't find in themselves.

    I'm proud to work for an institution that offers same sex partner benefits which I'm sure is one of the reasons why some couples want to be married. We have two lesbian couples with children in our department and I've always thought of them as married anyway.

    You're a wise man, my friend. :-)

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  15. Hi Lady Sorrow!

    Thank you for your sweet words!

    And I love ya equally!

    Thanks for stopping by!

    Have a spectacular weekend!

    {{{{{{X}}}}}}

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  16. Hiya Chrissy!

    As you can tell from this post I agree with you...

    ...looking for validation.

    It's WONDERFUL that the company you work for offers same sex partner benefits! I've worked for several companies myself who offer the same and it's such a HUGE benefit. I think more and more companies are starting to do the same.

    Thanks a bunch for dropping by, Chrissy!

    Enjoy your weekend!

    Please give Bernie a hug and kiss for me, ok?

    XO

    {{{{{{X}}}}}}}}

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  17. *sigh*

    Why can't everybody just get along?

    Bugs me that we don't when we could......

    *sigh*

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  18. Hiya Mel!

    *sigh*

    Thanks for stopping by today, dear lady!

    Hope you're having a great day outside on the patio sippin' sun tea and drawing with your chalk!!

    x ya!

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  19. Great comments here. What Miss Jones said got me to thinking. Gay marriage in respect to what black have gone through.

    Blacks have, on paper, the same equality as whites now, but the reality of it is, they are still very much discriminated against. I would venture to say it wouldn't/wont be any different for gays. Even if you are granted a valid marriage license, the prejudices against you will remain.

    There is so much misconception and hatred to let that pass. Be it religion, family upbringing or whatever other reason, biased thinking will always be a part of human nature.

    I agree with what I read into your words, true equality has to come from the heart, not from a document.

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  20. Howdy Mr. Jeff~

    ...Even if you are granted a valid marriage license, the prejudices against you will remain...

    EXACTLY!!!!!!!

    So my point is...

    ....how do I feel about myself INSIDE?

    ...equality has to come from the heart, not from a document...

    That's it Jeff!

    Thank you for your enlightening words, bud!

    Much appreciated!

    Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

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  21. The most important thing in life to to be happy in your own skin. What other's think about your sexual preferences is neither here nor there. It is important only if you want it to be. :)

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  22. Greetings Funny Girl!

    Welcome!

    I've seen you over at the wonderful blog of Chrissy and immediately LOVED your name - it's one of my favorite movies!

    Your avatar is faaaabulous!

    Thanks for stopping by. It was nice meeting you!

    Enjoy your day!

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  23. Hi Akelamalu!

    ...The most important thing in life to to be happy in your own skin...

    Thank you!

    Always great seeing ya, m' dear!

    Enjoy your day!

    X

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  24. Being close to several same sex couples, I could never get the whole aspect of defining oneself by their sexuality. Really, the way I see it, if you love and are loved, there's nothing wrong about it. My niece and her wife were "married" (actually a commitment ceremony, same sex marriage not legal in FL) and their love isn't any different than the love my daughter has for her husband. "Sex" is only a small part of life and relationships.

    On another note, I believe everyone should be able to marry WHOM they want. Why shouldn't gay people share the misery of us married and/or divorced heteros? :D

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  25. Hiya Nitebyrd!

    Your comment summed up exactly how I feel.

    I too have been to commitment cerermonies and it was the LOVE between the two that was so moving, because you could feel the strong committed BOND they had between one another.

    Love is Love. It's equal.

    And I LOVED your last paragraph!

    I totally agree!:D

    Thanks for sharing, Sis!

    Much appreciated!

    Enjoy your evening!

    X ya

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  26. Brilliant, positively brilliant! I have actually been back to read this twice. I have always felt that gay marriage as a civil arrangement to make things "equal" made perfect sense. However, your position made things even more potent. What an enlightening point of view - thank you for sharing this. More than you know, my friend!

    EFH

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  27. Howdy Expat!

    Great to see ya, bud!

    Yes! Gay marriage DOES make perfect sense, absolutely!

    Yet, I have always felt that homosexuals are equal regardless.

    And the world should never validate what we feel in our hearts otherwise.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, Expat!

    And thank you for your kind words.

    Enjoy your evening!

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  28. ronnie, this is so beautifully expressed! and I completely agree with you...I was just talking with my brother today about some very mean things that were said to him by my most evil mother and he was so hurt.......she still does not believe he is gay, 20 some odd years later and a partner of 20 years....sheesh...disturbs me more than I can express and it has nothing to do with politics.....it's about having the humanity to care about our fellow human beings as we care about ourselves...it should make no difference no matter the politics...that's not the essential problem at all....ah welll..

    big hugs and kisses, I am sorry to be so tardy....a few problems lately.. :(

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  29. Hellooooo Linda!

    ...it's about having the humanity to care about our fellow human beings as we care about ourselves...

    Exactly!!

    And if we all did that, there would be no question about whether or not we're EQUAL.

    Because we all ARE.

    I too have had mean things said to me. Not ever from family members, but from people who feared. But it's taught me to validate myself, so I'm grateful.

    Thank you so much for stopping by this evening, dear one!

    And no worries, because I've been busy with work lately and haven't had time to visit everyone, myself.

    Retail is getting insane with Father's Day approaching.

    Hope you had a Faaabulous weekend, Linda!

    XOXOXOXOXOXO

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  30. Terrific post!

    Of course you are still equal whether or not gay marriage is legalized. And that is what those who are fighting for the right have to keep in mind as well. The process is a long one.
    I'm reading a book about Queens Elizabeth and Mary and how difficult it was back then, for many reasons of course, but also because women were not thought of as equals so to have them hold positions of power over men was very difficult for some. Many were educated and took charge quite easily and eventually alot of men did come to understand and accept that things were changing but there are STILL women in modern day who don't feel equal with men. So naturally, it's just going to take time for the gay and lesbian issues to be worked out as well.
    So each person has to be in tune with themselves and know that they are no better, or worse, more or less deserving than anyone else. We all are EQUAL. If we all believe that in our hearts and minds then the technical and legal stuff will eventually follow.

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  31. Bonjour Ron,

    I totally agree with you, too! I just wonder why now... after all of these years and supposedly living in the "modern world," we don't have same sex marriages... Who decides that there CANNOT be same sex marriages, anyways... What is the problem of it not being accepted.. Not just into American society, but world wide? I mean, there are inter-racial marriages and marriages or different religions... but gay marriage still is not permitted in most of the world.. Franchement, I think that is inadmissible and it should be allowed!
    In France, a PACS of same sex couples is allowed (though not marriage). This legal contract does give same sex couples similar rights to married couples, but I'm not sure of the differences...
    I am from Hollywood, Ca. and grew up in a gay community. I just don't see the reason in any sense why gay rights have not been accepted the way other human rights have- race, religion, sex, age, disability... We are ALL human and we should ALL have the same rights!!!!!
    We have a long way to go.
    Thanks for posting this... Take good care!

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  32. Hi Crystal Chick!

    ...We all are EQUAL. If we all believe that in our hearts and minds then the technical and legal stuff will eventually follow...

    THANK YOU, M!!!!

    My sentiments exactly.

    And thank you for sharing the story about Queens Elizabeth and Mary because that TOO is a perfect example!

    Always great sharing with you, M!

    You always add so much!

    Enjoy your day!

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  33. Bonjour Leesa!

    Wonderful comment!

    I think it's fear-based unacceptance.

    Yes, marriage between different races, cultures, religions, are all out there, but there are still many people in the world who don't agree. And so what? It only matters what the married people feel INSIDE that should count.

    And whether or not gay marriage is ever legalized, does not affect how I feel about being GAY, because I'm still EQUAL.

    The world will never tell me how to feel about myself.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and adding your feelings and thoughts to this post, Leesa!

    SOOOOO enjoyed!

    XO

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  34. ron best post i've read on gay marriage. i'm straight and black, but i'm not any less of a person than the next person because of my race or faith or anything.

    "I believe that everyone should have the right to be legally married, however, I think it should be for the right reason. Not just a way to prove to the world that I am gay…and equal." Well said, my brother.

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  35. Hi Valerie!

    ...i'm straight and black, but i'm not any less of a person than the next person because of my race or faith or anything...

    Right. On!!!!

    You GO, my sister!

    It's all about what we believe in our hearts.

    Thank your for stopping by and sharing, Valerie.

    Always a pleasure!

    Enjoy your evening!

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  36. I had to leave a note here..I soooo agree!!

    LY!

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  37. Thanks so much for dropping by this post Gypsy-Heart!

    Love ya too!

    X

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  38. oh goodness gracious, we don't agree on this one. I am completely in favor of marriage equality. The fact that I pay taxes in this country and have committed my heart and my life to another person, but the country where I reside does not recognize her as my legal "next of kin" is just not right. Plain and simple, just not right. What other group of humans in this country do not have the legal opportunity to marry? I'm thinking that the only group excluded are gay men and women.

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  39. Hello Diane~

    What a I said with this post was not that I'm not in favor of marriage equality.

    What I said was this....

    "I believe that everyone should have the right to be legally married, however, I think it should be for the right reason.

    Not just a way to prove to the world that I am gay…and equal."

    I AM equal regardless of whether or not gay marriage is legalized.

    Much thanks for stopping by, Diane!!!

    X to you and Cristybella!

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