Where’s the Nearest Fire Hydrant?



As you all know, I love winter and have no problem being cold.

However, has anyone else noticed how during the winter months you have to PEE a lot more?

OMG….I’ve been pissin’ like a race horse.

And it’s not only the frequent urination that’s been an issue, but also the AMOUNT.

I swear, lately when I pee I feel like I'm in Niagara Falls.

Yesterday morning after I had my cup of coffee, I had to use the bathroom THREE times. And you would think that after THREE leaks, I would have been as dry as a cotton ball in the desert.

But, nooooooooo…..right before I went to work, I had to go AGAIN.

So, I sat on the toilet squeezing every single drop from my kidneys and bladder, because I don't really enjoy using the public restroom at work.

But guess what?

No sooner did I arrive at my place of employment, then 20 minutes later I was running cross-legged; making a B line for the restroom.

I didn't want to drink anything else during my work shift, because I feared that I would suddenly have to leave the floor while in the middle of a consultation with a customer.

Normally, I can go HOURS without having to void, but the minute my body feels that winter chill, it’s like, “Ok, it’s pee time!”

And god forbid I drink a cup of Sleepy Time herbal tea before bedtime, because then I'm up half the night sleepless in the bathroom.

Perhaps as I’m getting older, my bladder is shrinking to the size of a thimble.

But, brother…I feel like I’m spending my entire winter having a close intimate relationship with a toilet.

I suppose I could try not consuming anything liquid until Spring.

Or better yet….

I think for the remainder of this season, I may start walking around with my zipper open; pretending I’m one of those cute garden fountains you see in all the photos from Paris, France…..




Le pee pee boy

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