The Ring



After my birth mother passed away, my father eventually had her diamond wedding ring made into a pinkie ring for himself.

He worn the ring until he passed away at the age of 73.

And it was then that my stepmother passed it on to me.

A few months after my fathers death, I took the ring and had it reset so I could wear it on my ring finger. And I remember the day I went to the jewelers to pick it up after the setting was complete.

As I took it out of the box, I was overcome with emotion. I don’t think I ever really noticed how beautiful the diamond was because of the previous way it had been set. I decided to have it bezel set in a plain gold band, which somehow made the diamond appear more brilliant.

It sparkled and glistened with it’s many facets, almost as if the stone was happily smiling at me.

I immediately felt the presence of my mother saying, “Now it’s yours.”

I worn the ring consistently, until one day I noticed that the diamond was loose. So I immediately took it off and placed it safely back into the box, and had every intention of having the diamond tightened. However, for some strange reason I never did.

So, there it sat in the box for several years.

In 2001 I moved back to Philadelphia, and through a series of life-altering financial events I had to file bankruptcy.

Prior to that, I barely had enough money to eat, because I was using every single penny I made to pay for my rent, utilities, and phone. If it weren't for the assistance of my friends, I would have never been able to make it.

At first, I hadn’t shared my financial status with my family because I didn’t want to worry them. I guess I kept thinking that somehow my situation would improve, but it only got worse.

I remember one night sitting on my apartment floor, blanking staring at the TV screen while watching a movie thinking to myself, “ How the hell am I ever going to pay for my rent next week?"

And no sooner had I thought that, did I begin to focus on a scene in the movie I was watching, in which a women was going through the same thing I was experiencing. She desperately tried to figure out how she was going to pay for her mortgage that month because she had no funds in her checking or savings account.

Suddenly, she remembered a diamond necklace that was given to her by her ex-husband. She took the necklace out of a box in her closet, and made the choice to take it to a jewelry shop that bought diamonds.

She cashed it in and was able to make her mortgage payment.

It was then that I remember my mothers’ diamond.

I took it out of the box and looked at it, and thought, “Can I really do this?”

For days, I agonized about what to do because the ring held such a strong connection between my mother and I.

Was it wrong for me to take something that originally belonged to her and sell it for rent?

One night after not being able to sleep, I took the ring in my hand and closed my eyes, and just came right out and asked her.

I said, “I’m sorry for even thinking this, truly I am, but I’m scared and I don’t know what else to do. Please tell me what to do. Please.”

And this is what I felt…

“I am your mother and you are my son. If I can help you right now, then this is what I want for you. Sell it, and never look back. Because this was the purpose of my ring.”

So I did.

And as I left the jewelers that following afternoon, I had no regrets. No feelings of remorse, or even sadness.

I only felt her love.









*This post was inspired by my dear friend, Peg. Thank you, Peg!

48 comments

  1. That was such a heart tugging story. Sometimes we get attached t material things because they remind us of certain people, places or events in our lives. But in the end they are just material things. I have been robbed twice. All in all I have lost every piece of jewelry that once belonged to my grandmothers and jewelry that my father had made me. At first I was upset...but soon I realized they are just things. I remember what they look like and in some way that is enough. I wonder if you ever saw the movie Harold and Maude. There is a scene where Harold gives Maude a coin (one he got a carnival) where he had inscribed harold loves Maude. He hands the coin to her and she thanks him...and proceeds to throw it into the water. Harold looks perplexed and surprised and Maude explains...."so I will always know where it is." I have often thought this was so profound as a statement about the true meaning of material things. That is just it...they are simply material. The love is what is most important...and that is all that ever mattered to your mother and your father. I know she would rather know her boy was safe with a roof over his head and food to eat than keeping some piece of jewelry. I am happy you were able to do the right thing and save yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  2. P.S. What a GORGEOUS picture of your mom... You totally resemble her!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Wow... Ron!!

    While reading this post, I was overcome with emotion and sentiment and now I have a steady stream of tears rolling down my cheeks.. What a beautiful story... I know your mom was their with you, guiding you and letting you know it was all going to be okay..
    It's at moments like this when we feel closest to the ones we have lost in our lives...
    It's a beautiful story.. thanks so much for sharing it with us... I love hearing about your family!
    Big huge hugs to you...
    Leese

    ReplyDelete
  4. oh wow ron, there was a little voice in the back of my mind that kept saying, i hope he doesn't sell the ring. i'm not sentimental at all when it comes to stuff...but things happen.

    i'm not quite sure how i would react in a similar situation. you do what you think is best and the important thing is you are at peace with your decision. that's when i know something is right.

    beautiful picture of mom.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Awww... this is a sweet post Ron. :) The way the ring helped payed the rent even after forgetting about it. I experience that it's like that with most things in life. You put it away and forget about it and just when you think it's over you remember about it and it's then when it helps you. :)

    This is an inspiring post. Thanks for sharing. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. k....made me teary......

    (((((((((( Ron )))))))))))

    ReplyDelete
  7. A very beautiful and touching story. Isn't it interesting how we do receive signs about things when we're open enough. I'm so happy that you were able to feel your Mom tell you about her ring's purpose. Selling it gave you a way to move on and as a ring, it moved on to someone else, bringing them something as well.
    Thank you for sharing.
    Have a wonderful week. xo

    ReplyDelete
  8. The ring is only an inanimate object. You did the right thing. I'm sure it was an incredibly difficult thing to do but if your mother was anything like the kind, giving person you are, I'm sure she would have never given it a second thought. Even though I'm not a religious person, sometimes when I am so conflicted about something I will lay down and just pray. Not sure what I'm praying to. I think I'm asking the universe for some direction. I always find it.
    Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Love the portrait of your mother. She was beautiful. Your story is beautiful. So many times people put such "value" in things, and never see their true value or purpose. So often people are so busy trying to be someone else or do what they think is expected of them, they never find their purpose. Your mother was able to help you without being here physically, but that ring fulfilled that purpose for her. A truly lovely story. I am glad that you have the mind set/profoundness about you that you could see that. Taking a look inside to get us where we need to go is a life purpose in itself...you are highly successful. Proud of you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Good Morning Susie!

    OMG, thank you SO MUCH for sharing that story of Harold and Maude.

    "....so I will always know where it is."

    It's exactly as you said, dear lady...."they are just material things."

    I remember when I first got the ring and a client suggested that I have it insured, just in case I lost it. I said, "What's the point of getting it insured? It will never replace the sentiment of the ring. It will only remind me that I lost it."

    " The love is what is most important..."

    Yes, you're right. And it was the LOVE that saved me.

    Thank you for your beautiful and supportive comment, Susie!

    It touched me deeply.

    Have a spectacular day....X

    ReplyDelete
  11. Gooooooood Morning Leesa!

    "I know your mom was their with you, guiding you and letting you know it was all going to be okay..
    It's at moments like this when we feel closest to the ones we have lost in our lives..."

    Thank you for sharing that, my friend, because you're exactly right. Since she passed away, I don't think I ever felt her "presence" with me so strongly, as I did that moment. I could literally FEEL her talking me through it.

    Thank you for your kind and beautiful words, Leesa! You're a sweetheart.

    Always great seeing you. Thank you for stopping by.

    Have a MARVI Monday.....X

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hello again Leesa!

    Thank you. Wasn't she a pretty lady? I love her eyes in this photo - they sparkle! She was a sweet and very gently person.

    It's funny, because whenever anyone sees a photo of her, they same thing, "You look just like her." And yet, when they see a photo of my father, they say the same thing, "You were definately Franks' boy."

    It's ironic how I look exactly like them both.

    X

    ReplyDelete
  13. Good Morning Val!

    "there was a little voice in the back of my mind that kept saying, i hope he doesn't sell the ring.'

    I so TOTALLY understand your feelings, girl. Really, I do. Because up until I heard my mother's voice, I was feeling that same thing.

    "i'm not quite sure how i would react in a similar situation. you do what you think is best"

    Thank you for sharing your honest feelings because you're absolutely right, we can't possibly know how we would react in any situation. We do what we feel is best.

    ALWAYS great seeing ya, my friend!

    Thank you so much for stopping by!

    Have a wonderful Monday.....X

    ReplyDelete
  14. Good Morning Bernadine!

    "You put it away and forget about it and just when you think it's over you remember about it and it's then when it helps you."

    Yes. And looking back, I know that that's the reason why I had put it away. The time would come when it really helped me, more than I ever imagined.

    Her love.

    Thank you for stopping by and for your sweet words, Bernadine!

    Have a beautiful Monday....X

    ReplyDelete
  15. Good Morn'in Mel!

    I know you know.

    ((((( Mel )))))

    Thank you for stopping by, dear lady!

    Wishing ya Happy Monday.....X

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hiya Crystal Chick!

    "Isn't it interesting how we do receive signs about things when we're open enough."

    Yes, and I know you understand that.

    This was one of those times when the sign was so CLEAR, I couldn't help but FEEL it so deeply. However, their was a tiny part of me that was concerned I would feel regret, but my mother made sure I didn't.

    " Selling it gave you a way to move on and as a ring, it moved on to someone else, bringing them something as well.

    (((((( Crystal Chick ))))))

    Yes!

    Thank you so much for your understanding and compassion.

    Have a wonderful week......X

    ReplyDelete
  17. Good Morning Jen!

    Thank you, my friend!

    You're supportive words touched me to the core.

    "Even though I'm not a religious person, sometimes when I am so conflicted about something I will lay down and just pray. Not sure what I'm praying to. I think I'm asking the universe for some direction. I always find it."

    I'm EXACTLY the same way, Jen!

    I don't formally pray. I simply talk, and then wait to hear the answer in my heart.

    And I always find it.

    THANK YOU, dear friend. Thank you!

    Have a wonderful Monday.....X

    ReplyDelete
  18. Good Morning Suziecate!

    "Your mother was able to help you without being here physically, but that ring fulfilled that purpose for her."

    ((((( Suziecate ))))))

    My mother passed away at a very young age (40), and my father told me years and years later, that as she was dying, her only saddness was that she would not be with her children to help them throughout our lives.

    But, she did!

    Thank you sooo much for your beautiful comment, dear lady.

    It made me weep.

    Have a beautiful Monday.....X

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh Ron my dear, that made me cry. Without a doubt your Mum would have wanted you to put the ring to good use. Of course you can be sure she is with you whether you have the ring or not. x

    ReplyDelete
  20. Good Morning Akelamalu!

    "Of course you can be sure she is with you whether you have the ring or not."

    ((((( Akelamalu )))))))

    Thank you SO MUCH for sharing that!

    It's funny, because ever since my mother passed away, it's as if her presence in my life progressively gets stronger.

    And I feel so blessed.

    Thank you SO MUCH for your beautiful words, m'dear.

    Happy Monday to ya........X

    ReplyDelete
  21. Good Morning Ron,

    I too get myself attached to little things that belonged to my family members, I wont go into the list now but I do understand how hard it can be to let go.

    I'm proud you made the decision to take care of yourself because if it had been me they would have probably found me starved to death with that ring in my hand, I'm sure glad some of us has a little common sense.

    Very well written post and a very Beautiful Mom you have there my Friend.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Gooood Morning Jimmy!

    I think this experience was the beginning for me in understanding "letting go" of things when the time is right, and at the same time, holding on to their memories.

    LOVE.

    This was definately a challenging choice, but when I felt her support, it made it so much easier. I couldn't have done it without her.

    Thank you SO MUCH for stopping by, my friend!

    And thank you for your supportive words.

    Have a SUPER Monday...........X

    ReplyDelete
  23. ...You are an amazing person and you personify everything that is good in the world my dear...

    ...{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}

    ...You so resemble your mother - she is stunning!

    ...Many blessings... :o)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hi Ronnie,

    Thank you for sharing this, my dear.
    I think when we lose a parent,then we have fully arrived in adulthood.The toys are long gone,and we have often become the caregiver and a parent.

    I can understand what that ring meant to you and how you died at the idea of selling. But, your Mom and Dad are you and in you forever.Even if there be precious items like the ring.

    You did the right thing,I see it in your Mom's eyes.
    I can see a resemblance :) What a gorgeous woman. Bless her.
    XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  25. Good Afternoon TJ!

    I just wanna give you a BIG hug right now.

    Ready?

    Here it comes.......

    (((((((((( TJ ))))))))))

    You have no idea how much I appreciate your words, dear lady. Like I've shared with you in previous comments....

    ...you truly are an earth angel!

    Thank you for presence here!

    Blessings back at cha'!

    Have a great rest of you day.....X

    ReplyDelete
  26. Bonjour Barbara!

    I truly know that you understand this, dear friend!

    "But, your Mom and Dad are you and in you forever.Even if there be precious items like the ring."

    Exactly!

    I also love how you said this.....

    "I think when we lose a parent,then we have fully arrived in adulthood.The toys are long gone,and we have often become the caregiver and a parent."

    Soooooooooooo true, Barb!

    Last night, while I was choosing a photo of my mother for this post, I was so drawn to share THIS one because of precisely what you said....

    "I see it in your Mom's eyes."

    Wasn't she beautiful? I'm so proud that she is my mother.

    And so proud of my stepmother too! She's a GEM!

    Thank you for your supportive words and kindness, my friend!

    (((( Barb ))))

    Hope you had a marvi Monday!

    xoxoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
  27. Loved this story, and I can't say anything that hasn't already been said. I just read a story where someone took an insurance policy out on her ring just in case she needed to pretend she lost her ring if she ever needed money. I was hoping that's what you did but then I'm glad you did'nt because there wouldn't be a great lesson in that.

    Also, unrelated... I've been meaning to call you to tell you that the Cover Girl lipstain? THe one Drew Barrymore hacks on television? OMG. And you know how I feel about drug store cosmetics. But this stuff is the ULTIMATE!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Helloooooooooooo Lora!

    "a story where someone took an insurance policy out on her ring just in case she needed to pretend she lost her ring if she ever needed money."

    OMG...I didn't even realize you could do that?!?!

    But you're SO RIGHT....

    "because there wouldn't be a great lesson in that."

    You hit the nail on the head when you said "lesson" because that's WHY I needed to experience this. Very perceptive of you!

    And thank you SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much for telling me about the Cover Girl lipstain!!!! No, I haven't seen Drew Barrymore advertising it, but I will definately check it out the next time I'm in CVS or Rite Aid. There are so many wonderful items I've found in drug stores that I blog about - so I appreciate you letting me know!

    Always so great seeing ya, neighbor! Thanks for stopping by. Hope you had a great day.....X

    ReplyDelete
  29. Ron, my dear friend. You really tugged at my heart with that one. I too was thinking "No, don't sell it!" but you are right. It IS just a material possession and I'm sure your mom would much rather you have a roof over your head than a ring on your finger (or box). I'm so glad you got that peace about it.

    BTW your mom was absolutely gorgeous. I can see where you get your looks!
    {{{{{Ron}}}}}

    Have a wonderful evening.

    ReplyDelete
  30. This was a really sweet post. (: I'm glad someone inspired you to write it. It's not often you come across a story like this one anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Helloooooooooooo Peg!

    I'm soooooo happy you stopped by, dear friend!

    I was telling one of my friends over at Facebook (who read this post today) that YOU were the person who inspired me to share this piece. I haven't thought about that ring since I sold it, until I read your touching post about the doll.

    This post was such a wonderful way for me to remember my mothers unconditional love.

    Thank you. Wasn't she a lovely-looking lady?

    ALWAYS so wonderful seeing ya, Peg!

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by.

    (((( Peg )))))

    X

    ReplyDelete
  32. Hiya Gavin!

    Awwww....thank you, buddy!

    Me too. If it weren't for Peg, I would have never thought to post this.

    Writing this was a great reminder of a mothers love.

    Thank you for stopping by, G!

    Hope you had a wonderful day.......X

    ReplyDelete
  33. Oh Ronnie! You made me teary-eyed over here!!!!

    I am so glad that you made the decision that was right for you. And I love how you realized that was your moms way of 'being there for you' at that moment in time even if she wasn't "with you".

    xoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  34. oh, ron, this so moved me and made me weep for the pain you must have felt during this time...and also i must tell you something else, the longer i know you, the more complex you become...of course, that's the nature of blogging i suppose, little bits and pieces of our lives come out or something about who we are is written and another piece drops into place...does that make sense? anyway, dear friend, i hope you do not feel one little bit of sadness over the ring because i know you did the thing she would have wanted you to do and if it were me, i would have said the same thing to my sons....they are only material things and once the people that owned them originally have passed over, they remain only as memories and if they can serve a higher purpose, as in your case, then of course, that is what you would do and what she would want you to do...i have tried to convince my mother to sell her house, she desperately needs to be out from under the situation and *I* know my father would have wanted her to sell it but she hangs onto it from some perverse ideal that is no longer real....and of course, why wouldn't he want her to sell it???? ah well, we must live our own lives, which is why i gave up ages ago but still, i do wish she would see the light but not spend much time, wasting it, if you know what i mean....well, this is too long, goodnight my friend, hope you have a good week!♥love to you:)
    xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  35. Excellent post. I'm a married guy with a kid, a weight lifter, and an all-around "guy", yet still your post brought a tear to my eye. Hope things turn around for you. If not, I'm sure your fellow bloggers could do a bit to assist ya!

    ReplyDelete
  36. I already shared my thoughts/feelings about this post with you. No matter where mothers or fathers are, their spirit will always speak clearly to their children. I know it.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Ron,
    You have been on this journey for some time now and when you make the connection to the true meaning of another person's love there are no words to describe the feeling of bliss that enters your soul. The knowing that a mother's love never ceases to exist and the ability to help a child no matter what age is marvelous.
    What a truly inspiring and loving story you have given us to read. I was in those same sneakers you wore and I know the feeling of comfort that comes when you let spirit and love help you out of situations that you feel you had no control over. You learned a lesson my friend and you passed it on to all of us.
    Thank you and Bless You.
    Is that a photo of your mother? What a beautiful woman.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Dear Ron,

    You write out your heart - so touchingly. You really have a gift. Your Mom is looking over and after you. Well, to me it is God and his love. Your Mom's love.

    I love deep people like you. Taking life on the candied surface but also into the most meaningful ponderings.

    Sweet hugs to you!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Good Morning Dear Linda!

    Thank you for your beautiful comment, my friend.

    "the longer i know you, the more complex you become...of course, that's the nature of blogging i suppose, little bits and pieces of our lives come out or something about who we are is written and another piece drops into place...does that make sense?"

    Yes, that does make sense.

    You see, I have many dimensions to myself. I'm not just funny all the time (I can't be), therefore there are times I enjoy sharing other dimensions of myself.

    If we all REALLY look at ourselves, we would find it the same way.

    We are MANY things.

    Funny, reflective, angry, happy, sad.

    It's all there.

    No, my friend...I don't feel a bit sad over my choice, because this was one of those times when I knew my choice was "divinely guided."

    It's just as you shared....

    "they remain only as memories and if they can serve a higher purpose, as in your case, then of course, that is what you would do and what she would want you to do."

    Thank you SO MUCH for your support and love, Linda!

    ((((( Linda )))))

    xoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
  40. Greetings Herman!

    Welcome....thank you for stopping and sharing a comment. It's so nice to meet you.

    Thanks for your kind and supportive words.

    No, this happened to me many, many years ago, and since then, things have turned completely around (thank God). I'm doing well now.

    The reason I posted this was because a dear blogging friend of mine had posted something last week, that reminded me of this experience, therefore I wanted to share it.

    Thanks again for stopping by. You're welcomed here anytime.

    Enjoy your day!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Good Morning Nitebyrd!

    "No matter where mothers or fathers are, their spirit will always speak clearly to their children. I know it."

    ((((( Nitebyrd )))))

    Thank you, Sis!

    X ya TONS!

    Have a wonderful day!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Goooooood Morning Dave!

    Yes, my friend, you're right...I have been on this journey for sometime now - you know me well!

    And it's just as you shared....

    "The knowing that a mother's love never ceases to exist and the ability to help a child no matter what age is marvelous."

    Growth is like peeling away the layers; eventually getting to the heart. And the lessons are learned.

    Yes, I truly know you KNOW what this was like...

    "I know the feeling of comfort that comes when you let spirit and love help you out of situations that you feel you had no control over."

    Thank you SO MUCH for your friendship, Dave!

    You're a GEM!

    Have a SUPER day.....X

    P.S. Yes, that's a photo of my mother. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Bonjour Susu!

    "Your Mom is looking over and after you. Well, to me it is God and his love. Your Mom's love."

    (((( Susu ))))

    Thank you so much for saying that. I too believe it is God and his love. My mom's love.

    It's one in the same.

    "Taking life on the candied surface but also into the most meaningful ponderings."

    Thank you.

    It's such a pleasure knowing you, Susu.

    I'm so glad we've met!

    Have a wonderful day.....X

    ReplyDelete
  44. Good Morning Meleah, my Libra pal!

    "that was your moms way of 'being there for you' at that moment in time even if she wasn't "with you."

    (((( Meleah ))))

    This was one of those times when I could FEEL her presence so incredibly strong, that is was a message of her love. I'll never forget it.

    Thank you so much for your support and kind words, my friend!

    And thanks for stopping by.

    Enjoy your day......X

    ReplyDelete
  45. well now ya made me cry
    damn it!

    your Mom was beautiful, what an amazing photo of her
    you did the right thing
    as a Mom I would want anything and everything I had to go to help my boy any way it could

    things are just that
    feelings and memories and love are what matters

    love ya

    ReplyDelete
  46. Howdy Lady Dianne!

    Ah, damn it...I'm sorry.

    HA!

    Awww...thank you dear lady. She WAS beautiful, wasn't she? And she has the soul to match.

    And yes, I know as the wonderful mother that you are, you would want anything and everything you had to go to help your boy any way it could.

    "feelings and memories and love are what matters."

    (((( Dianne ))))

    Thank you!

    Hope you had a super day!

    X ya back!

    P.S. Oh...and did you hear it's going to be 93 degrees tomorrow? Fuck that shit, right?

    ReplyDelete
  47. Wow, what a beautiful story, Ron. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. You're mother is gorgeous!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Hiya Chrissy!

    Thanks, girl!

    (((( Chrissy ))))

    And THANK YOU for stopping by!

    Hope you had a great day!

    X to you and Bernie!

    ReplyDelete