Pork Chops a la Easy-Off

Right before I wrote this post I called my mother in Florida to asked her the details, because I wanted this story to be absolutely accurate. And also, because after you read it I didn’t want you to say, “Oh Ron, you silly man, you made this up didn’t you?”

Let me start by saying that my mother is smart, intuitive, humorous, a wonderful conversationalist, and just a really great human being. She loves and respects animals and nature with all her heart, so that just goes to show you how great she is.

However……

She can sometimes be a smidgen absentminded.

My father use to always refer to her as Lucy from the TV show I Love Lucy, because he never knew if he was going to walk in from work one day and discover one of his children accidentally thrown inside the washing machine with their clothes on.

Oh, and another great thing about my mother is that she’s an excellent cook.

Well, that is….as long as she notices the difference between a cooking product and an oven cleaner.


Exhibit A

Exhibit B


I was already living in NYC at the time, so I was saved from this little accident.


Thank god and baby jesus.

It all started when my mother came home from grocery shopping one day and inadvertently placed a new can of Easy-Off Oven Cleaner in the kitchen cabinet above the stove where she normally kept the Pam Cooking Spray. And placed a new can of Pam in the kitchen cabinet below the sink where she normally kept the Easy-Off.


On that same day she decided to make pork chops for dinner, so before she closed the oven door she gave the seasoned chops a hearty spray with Pam to help brown them.


Throughout the afternoon before my father and brother came home, she kept smelling oven cleaner permeating air, but assumed the odor was coming from a slight burn-off residue that was left from her oven cleaning earlier that week. So, she really didn’t give it anymore thought.


As my father and brother sat down for dinner that night, she placed a pork chop on each of their plates.


Naturally, they began to eat.


My mother, being someone who likes to tidy up the kitchen before she sits down to eat dinner, began putting certain things away. And as she was placing the can of Pam back into the cabinet, she suddenly noticed the front label.


Easy-Off (she froze)

She slowly turned around and looked at my father, saying, “ Um, Frank….how do those pork chops taste?


He replied with a full mouth, “GREAT hun….never tasted better.”


“Well, please don’t eat any more and try not to get too upset when I tell you this, but I’ve done a terrible thing….




Epilogue: Miraculously, my father and brother never got sick or even dropped dead from the poisonous pork chops. However, from that moment on my father quit his job and stayed home and cooked the meals, while my mother got a lucrative job cleaning ovens.

Okay, I admit it….I made up that last sentence.



50 comments

  1. omg - too hysterical. your father is a man in love to say "great hon". this beats my toilet paper story by galaxies!
    It does sound like a'50's sitcom. What a cool family to grow up in. I'm jealous. :D

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  2. I started laughing when I got to the bit about where she put the oven cleaner as I guessed what was coming! LOL

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  3. Your mother sounds like a real gem... and at least she admitted the mistake, unlike some who would say nothing and hope for the best... grins.

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  4. Your mom has some 'splaining to do!

    That's hilarious. I can't believe your father and brother didn't even NOTICE, much less foam at the mouth and die. And your mom is braver than me. Had I discovered my mistake, I think I would've just let them eat the pork chops and suffer the consequences, rather than admit what I'd done.

    You know that's what Ethel would've done.

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  5. Vitameta-EASYOFF! How funny! Your mom probably almost had a stroke. The poor thing.

    Reminds me of 9-5 when Lily Tomlin thought she put the rat poison in Dabney Coleman's coffee instead of Skinny & Sweet! LOL

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  6. Good Morning Grandmother Crone~

    "this beats my toilet paper story by galaxies!"

    OMG...one day you have to tell me all about it, I'm dying to know! About a year and a half ago, I shared a story about my fathers' obsession with Charmin toilet tissue!

    Living with my mother and father truly was like I Love Lucy! Lucy and Ricky.

    Thanks for stopping by, dear lady!

    Happy Monday to ya!

    X

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  7. Good Morning Akelamalu~

    When I called her Sunday night the two of us LAUGHED and LAUGHED about this!!!

    She said, "I thought I kill them."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Thank you for stopping by, m'dear!

    Happy Monday to you!

    X

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  8. Good Morning Valerie~

    Yes, she is a gem! If you ever met her you would instantly love her.

    She told me that she debated on whether or not to tell them because she feared they would die from SHOCK, not the Easy-Off.

    Bwhahahahahahaha!

    Zany lady, she is!

    Thank you for stopping by, Valerie!

    Hope you're enjoying a beautiful Monday!

    X

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  9. OMG what a riot!!! Thankfully, your father and brother were okay! I wonder if they ever got a little nervous when sitting down to dinner after that incident. LOL

    Have a great week!

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  10. Hellooooooooo JD~

    OMG...it's sooooooooo great to see ya, girl! I've missed you!!!!!

    " I can't believe your father and brother didn't even NOTICE, much less foam at the mouth and die."

    That's exactly what my mother said. She couldn't believe they didn't TASTE it?!!? Apparently at the time, not only did Pam and Easy-Off have the same color cans, but also the same color tops. Which is why she said she didn't even notice.

    " think I would've just let them eat the pork chops and suffer the consequences, rather than admit what I'd done.

    You know that's what Ethel would've done."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....you're absolutely right!

    Thanks for stopping by, JD!

    Have a super Monday!

    X

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  11. Good Morning Nitebyrd~

    "Vitameta-EASYOFF!"

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That's one of my favorite I Love Lucy episodes. I have on VHS and watch it throughout the year.

    "Reminds me of 9-5 when Lily Tomlin thought she put the rat poison in Dabney Coleman's coffee instead of Skinny & Sweet!"

    Yes! Yes! Yes! Wasn't that movie faaaaaaabulous? All three of those ladies were wonderful!

    Great seeing ya, Sis! Thanks for stopping by!

    Happy Monday!

    X ya!

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  12. Good Morning Crystal Chick~

    " I wonder if they ever got a little nervous when sitting down to dinner after that incident."

    Funny you should say that because after this incident, my father was tempted to hire a COOK!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Thanks for stopping by, M! Have a great Monday and a super week!

    X

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  13. Your mom is my kind of woman...I often pick up the wrong thing; most of the time I catch myself before using, at least no one's keeled over yet!

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  14. Hey SuzieCate~

    "I often pick up the wrong thing; most of the time I catch myself before using, at least no one's keeled over yet."

    HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

    Actually, I too can be absentminded at times. The thing I'm notorious for is dropping things. OMG...it's like my fingers are made of butter!

    Thanks for stopping by, dear lady!

    Always a delight!

    Happy Monday!

    X

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  15. Miraculously, my father and brother never got sick or even dropped dead from the poisonous pork chops - That was hilarious! I was laughing before I even got to the swith part because I KNEW WHAT WAS COMING.

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  16. oops... see what I mean? I meant to say that I do the same kinda stuff. I think I just proved that. LOL

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  17. Hellooooo Peg~

    Trust me, my father NEVER let my mother live that one down. He use to tell everyone in the middle of a party, "Let me tell you about the time my wife tried to kill me with Easy-Off!"

    HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

    They truly were like Lucy and Ricky!

    Thanks for stopping by, Peg!

    Hope you're having a FAB Monday!

    X

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  18. P.S. Peg...that's okay, my friend....I DO THE SAME THING!!! I also walk into rooms and then forget why I walk in there.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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  19. I'm sure you sweet mom must have the best sense of humor in the world. I suspect this tale has been recounted so many times it is approaching legendary status by now? I hope I never do anything like that, but in our house, anything is possible.

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  20. Hi Diane~

    "I'm sure you sweet mom must have the best sense of humor in the world."

    Yes, she does. In fact, she's always giving me ideas for blog posts about all the crazy things that have happened in our family. She'll say, "Oooo Ron, you can tell them about the time when......"

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    She and I are alike in that we enjoy laughing at ourselves.

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, Diane! Hope you had a wonderful Monday!

    X

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  21. AhHHAA. TOO FUNny and sounds like something i would do. i've been know to put stuff in the fridge that doesn't belong there and other items in the cabinet.

    your dad said never tasted better. what. i would have given him a brillo pad and tell him we're having muffins for dessert. lol

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  22. Hiya Val~

    "i've been know to put stuff in the fridge that doesn't belong there and other items in the cabinet."

    *raising my hand*

    Oh...me too! Me too! One time I accidentally put a cork screw for a wine bottle in the fridge and couldn't find it FOREVER!

    "i would have given him a brillo pad and tell him we're having muffins for dessert."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Great one, girl!

    Always so good seeing ya! Mucho thanks for stopping by!

    Enjoy your evening!

    X

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  23. Hi Ron, The toilet paper story is a post I did recently. It's called "How Toilet Paper Tested A Friendship".

    Cheers,

    You do know how blessed you are to have lived in your I Love Lucy family, right?

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  24. Hello again Grandmother Crone~

    Thank you SO MUCH for sharing the post. I will go back and read it - can't wait!

    Yes...I do know how blessed I am to have lived in my I Love Lucy family. I've got the BEST memories!

    Have a wonderful trip, dear lady! See ya when you get back!

    X

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  25. Hey brother, the older I get the more attractive the younger Lucile Ball becomes.

    And don't be too harsh on your mother. Anybody could have made that mistake. I mean, Pam has large red letters and Easy-Off has black^H^H^H I mean one says "Cooking Spray", and the other "HEAVY DUTY oven cleaner"^H^H^H I mean one smells like something you'd want to eat and the other^H^H^H Oh heck...what was your mother thinking, man!?

    Heh!!!

    Thanks for capping off a typical work day with a generous laugh! :-)

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  26. Hey Herman!

    "the older I get the more attractive the younger Lucile Ball becomes."

    HAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Actually, she WAS very attractive, I agree! She was model before she was an actress. I LOVED I Love Lucy!

    " mean, Pam has large red letters and Easy-Off has black^H^H^H I mean one says "Cooking Spray", and the other "HEAVY DUTY oven cleaner"^H^H^H I mean one smells like something you'd want to eat and the other^H^H^H"

    Yeah!!!! EXACTLY! She claims the orginal cans both had RED tops; that's how she made the mistake - HA!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, buddy! ALWAYS a delight to see your comment.

    Hope you had a super day!

    X

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  27. Ron just imagine this...."Oh Lucy you have some splaining to do!" This is something my husband Tim says to me all the time. We like to think of ourselves as Lucy and Ricky because I am fair like Lucy and Tim is dark (half Mexican) like Ricky. In fact, I just recently was in an antique store with Tim and we found these amazing old Life magazines. One of the ones I purchased had the cover with Lucy, Ricky and their children. It looks like my family!!! As far as being a bit of an airhead...well...I think in some ways I used to be when I was younger. I am sad to say I no longer have that trait. Running a business will take that carerfee way of life right out of you.

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  28. Helloooooooo Susie~

    "...."Oh Lucy you have some splaining to do!" This is something my husband Tim says to me all the time. We like to think of ourselves as Lucy and Ricky because I am fair like Lucy and Tim is dark."

    OMG....that's FAAAAAAABULOUS!!! SEE! we have something else in common - I LOVE LUCY!

    My mother is also very light. And my father dark Italian.

    I Love Lucy was my favorite show as a kid. I actually wanted to BE Lucy - HA! Lucille Ball was so PERFECT in that role, wasn't she? All of the cast was. I still watch it on VHS.

    "Running a business will take that carerfee way of life right out of you."

    I bet you're a GREAT business lady. And I bet your staff loves you.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend!

    Always look forward to your comments!

    Hope you had a swell day!

    X

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  29. I love your mom.

    She makes me feel normal. LOL

    I've not done this.....yet.....
    But there's a very good reason himself does the cooking in this household.

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  30. Good Morning Mel~

    awww....thanks, dear lady.

    I love her too. Last night she called me after she read this post and said that she felt like a celebrity! HA!

    She also gave me a few more blog post ideas. She's a riot!

    Thanks for stopping by, Mel!

    Have a wonderful Tuesday!!
    X

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  31. Hi Ronnie,
    I can just imagine your Mom like Lucy looking at your Dad and doing the Lucy routine!! Ha!!!
    This is so funny!! But of course,it could have been worse!
    Do you guys have lead stomachs or what?!

    Who do you kid; Ronnie's Mom is a star :)I never thought that I would have the chance to say this but ; "Mrs Carnavil, you have a great son."
    Big hugs to you both XX

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  32. Bonjour Barbara~

    "I can just imagine your Mom like Lucy looking at your Dad and doing the Lucy routine!!"

    Oh, Barb...if you had ever seen them in person you would SO see the Lucy and Ricky in them. They were sooooooooo funny!

    I think being Italian, we ALL had iron stomachs - HA!

    "Ronnie's Mom is a star."

    She sure is!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and for your sweet words, my friend!

    (((( Barb ))))

    Have a wonderful day!

    X

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  33. I love how you edited the Lucy photo

    and I adore Mom!!
    absent minded about things like cans is due to a superior intellect that spends its time considering far more worthy things

    at least that's what I tell myself

    Isadora says thanks for the song - she has one request, next time please sing to her yourself - my voice made her tail flatten out

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  34. Hiya Dianne~

    "absent minded about things like cans is due to a superior intellect that spends its time considering far more worthy things."

    You said it, dear lady!

    And I adore Mom too!

    "Isadora says thanks for the song - she has one request, next time please sing to her yourself - my voice made her tail flatten out."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA...oh, that was tooooooooo funny! Tell her, next year I'll make a Happy Birthday song You Tube for her, ok?

    Always great seeing you! Thanks for stopping by!

    Happy Tuesday!

    X to you and the gang!

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  35. Once again... you almost "knocked me off" with laughter. You mom sounds adorable. Mine cooked for us, but not by passion. She had other interests and I don't blame her.

    Hugs to your week - and thank you for your heartfelt b-day wishes!

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  36. Bonjour Susu~

    So glad you had a giggle, my friend!

    My mom called me last night and said she laughed and laughed, remembering this incident. She's such a great sport.

    Hope you had a SPECTACULAR birthday, beautiful lady!

    ((( Susu )))

    Enjoy your day!

    X

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  37. Oh Ron you are so sweet! Such a big softy for your Mama. I love it. Your folks sound adorable. It is a wonder that they didn't make her sit down and start eating first after that incident though. Great that she kept her sense of humour about it.
    Katherine

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  38. Hello Dear Katherine~

    My mother got such a kick out of this post!

    She's such a fun-loving human being.

    "It is a wonder that they didn't make her sit down and start eating first after that incident though."

    HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....you said it! No, but from that moment on they ate breakfast, lunch and dinner at Denny's!

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by!

    Hope you had a super-duper day!

    X

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  39. Oh My Goodness RON!! That was the funniest story I read ALL DAY long! Ahahhahhahahahaha! Now I want to meet your mom!

    And I loved your last made-up sentence!

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  40. Hellooooo Meleah my Libra friend~

    Oooooooh....you would LOVE my mom. And she would love you. She's also a Libra!

    I couldn't resist that last sentence.

    Tee, hee!

    Thanks for stopping by, girl! Always such a joy!

    Enjoy your evening!

    X

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  41. This is indeed funny. Hope when I grow old I won't end up like this. Nice blog

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  42. Hello Aries~

    Welcome! Thank you for stopping by and sharing a comment.

    "Hope when I grow old I won't end up like this."

    Actually, my mother was very YOUNG when she did this - HA!

    Enjoy your day!

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  43. Oh, too funny! Love the picture of Lucy!

    It definitely beats my story of dumping too much pepper into my burritos cause I couldn't tell the difference between the sprinkle side of the lid and the pour side!!

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  44. Good Evening Nathan~

    "cause I couldn't tell the difference between the sprinkle side of the lid and the pour side!!"

    HAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Yes, I've done the same thing! And there's nothing worse than getting too much pepper on your food - YAWZA!

    Thanks for stopping by, bud! Always nice to see ya!

    Hope you had a great day. Enjoy your evening!

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  45. My mother was just a plain old terrible cook. But, as far as I can remember she never sprayed our food with cleaning products. It's amazing how all of us survived growing up.
    After that, I would have probably started sniffing my food before ever eating it.

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  46. Hiya Jen~

    "After that, I would have probably started sniffing my food before ever eating it."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Either that or running through one of those luggage scanners you see at the airport; checking for poisonous substances!

    Thanks for stopping by, my friend!

    Always great seeing ya!

    Hope you had a super day!

    X

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  47. Now if I was your dad I would thinking that maybe his wife did still like him after all...I mean, there was the perfect innocent little opportunity, "Honestly officer, I can't explain how it all happened..oh dear me, oh my"...

    Oh- I am sooo bad...

    Thanks for a good laugh today!

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  48. Hello FGTE~

    "Honestly officer, I can't explain how it all happened..oh dear me, oh my..."

    Bwhahahahahahahaha! No, you're not bad at all because my mother told me that all she could think about was what she was going to tell the police officer if something horrible had happened to my father.

    Gee, officer....I don't know HOW it happened?"

    Thanks for stopping by! Have a super weekend!

    X

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  49. OMG Ron!! Tooo funny!! I see myself doing this one day, so thanks for the advance warning... I'll try to be careful now in order to avoid this.. Hehhehehe!! Tooooooooo funnY!!

    Just catching up.. But leaving again on Wed. a.m. early...
    Take care,
    Leese

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  50. Bonjour Leesa~

    Yeah...I see MYSELF doing this one day too!

    HA!

    I must remember to stay away from the OVEN CLEANER!

    Thanks for stopping by, my friend!

    Always so great seeing you!

    X

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