The Gray Area of Attraction

Quite often, I seem to get my inspiration for future blog posts from something that another blogger has shared in one of their blog posts, or through comments either left on this blog or someone else’s.

So, thank you everyone!

Such as it was in my recent Pussycat Dolls post.

My longtime and very artistically gifted blogging friend, Linda, always seems to give me food for thought in her comments; asking me an interesting question or simply expressing a thought she may have had.

Thanks, Linda…xo

In that post, I shared about how I find the Pussycat Dolls sexy.

In Linda’s comment she said….

“it's interesting to me that you find them sexy when you're gay ....”

My response to her was…..

“Just because I'm gay, doesn't mean I don't find women sexy. I think women are beautiful; equally as attractive as men. I just prefer men as a partner....”

And I truly believe that most gay men would response similarly.

Personally (and I’ve shared this before), I can see and appreciate the beauty in both sexes. And even though I may be more drawn to a man on an intimate level, I believe this world would be one dimensional and very boring without the presence of women.

I think if we could be totally honest with ourselves, most people would share that whatever their sexual preference is, they too have at one time or another found a member of their opposite sexual preference attractive.

And that doesn’t mean you’re gay or even bi-sexual, it just means that you can view anyone as attractive or sexy.

Sexy is sexy, regardless of the gender.

To me, sexiness encompasses more than just the physical part of a person, anyway. It also has a lot to do with the way a person carries themselves. The aura they exude.

I’ve come to the conclusion there is no such thing as only black and white when it comes to attraction. There is a whole area of GRAY which is not really definable, but it's there.

It's those spaces between black and white, which represent our ability to purely appreciate the beauty of everyone.

So, yes…even though I prefer a partnership with a man, I can still find a woman very sexy.

It’s that simple.





Wishing you a beautiful weekend everyone!

X

44 comments

  1. I wanted to be your first (commenter), and I'm delighted.

    I just discovered your blog, and I am your fan.

    I too love the dolls. They just have what it takes.

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  2. I can see and appreciate the beauty in both sexes.

    Me too. Even now, in my advancing years, I see and admire the beauty and attractiveness of both sexes. Hell, I'll be a long time dead so I might as well enjoy the sights while I can :-)

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  3. I've heard that so many times from gay friends and female friend (even straight female friends). Unfortunately, a lot of straight men aren't comfortable enough with themselves to admit that they think a man is attractive. The ones who are that confident in themselves are generally the fabulous ones worth keeping, at least. Maybe I should start making that part of the criteria for men to date.

    Being bi I tend to get the assumption that I am attracted to everyone equally, and that if I am dating someone of one gender I spend all my time yearning for someone of the other.

    Sexuality is confusing, even when you are comfortable with your own.

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  4. I totally agree with you Ron! I am totally heretosexual but it doesn't stop me appreciating a beautiful/attractive woman. :)

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  5. Although I'm straight (I think) I find many women sexy
    I often see people as art; the line a person's neck creates, the grace of a hand reaching out, the poignancy of a bowed head, the comfort of wide shoulders ...

    I think we're all on a spectrum of sexuality. Some of us are just more in tune with that than others.

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  6. Greetings Vodka and Ground Beef~

    Welcome! Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing a comment. Nice to meet you!

    Hey, I LOVE your blog title. It's faaaaabulous!

    Don't cha' love the Dolls?

    "They just have what it takes."

    You said it!

    Stop by anytime. You're always welcome! Enjoy your weekend!

    X

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  7. Goooood Morning Valerie!

    "Hell, I'll be a long time dead so I might as well enjoy the sights while I can."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, you CRACK me up! And I can I just tell you something? I am so happy to have made your aquaintance. You're such a delightful soul; adding much to blogland!

    ((( Valerie )))

    Thank you for stopping by, dear lady! ALWAYS enjoyed!

    Have a beautiful weekend!

    X

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  8. Good Morning Lolli~

    "a lot of straight men aren't comfortable enough with themselves to admit that they think a man is attractive."

    Yes, I have to agree with you. Yet, like you also shared, there are also men (such as my brother) who are straight, who have no problem saying they find another man attractive. I think it totally depends on the man and how comfortable they are with their own sexuality.

    I get that too. Some people think that just because I'm gay, I'm attracted to every man.

    I read somewhere that Marilyn Monroe (who was bi-sexual) said that she could never understand why people have a hard time understanding bi-sexuality. To her, she said that she could enjoy the company of both men and women equally.

    "Sexuality is confusing, even when you are comfortable with your own."

    Yes it is. That's why I've come to the conclusion of the "gray area."

    Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing on this post. Much enjoyed and appreciated.

    Have a beautiful weekend!

    X

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  9. Good Morning Akelamalu~

    "I am totally heretosexual but it doesn't stop me appreciating a beautiful/attractive woman."

    Yes, somehow I knew you felt that way!

    Thank you for stopping by and sharing, m'dear!

    Have a glorious weekend!

    X

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  10. Good Morning Lady Dianne~

    "Although I'm straight (I think) I find many women sexy."

    HA! - Oh, I LOVE you woman!

    I also freakin' LOVE how you said this....

    "I often see people as art; the line a person's neck creates, the grace of a hand reaching out, the poignancy of a bowed head, the comfort of wide shoulders ..."

    That's it....people as art! Bellissima!

    "I think we're all on a spectrum of sexuality. Some of us are just more in tune with that than others."

    (((( Dianne ))))

    Thank you for stopping by and sharing, dear lady!

    Enjoy your weekend!

    X to you and the gang!

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  11. This is actually quite healing to read, to be honest, my dearest Ron. Because I also had the impression, just like Linda, that gays didn't like women - at all. But in all you write, there just glows this appreciation for us, feminine creatures. And it is pure awesome.

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  12. Bonjour Susu~

    "Because I also had the impression, just like Linda, that gays didn't like women - at all."

    Some may not. But, I have to be honest, the gay men I know LOVE women. And not only for their physical beauty, but also because they simply admire and respect them as women.

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, beautiful lady!

    ALWAYS enjoyed!

    Have a super weekend!

    X

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  13. Ron of course I know this about you. You work in an industry that strives to make a woman feel prettier and more sexy so why would you not see women this way! You are an artistic man and can appreciate beauty in whatever form that it comes in. And of course what you say is true about being attracted to your same sex. For most men that are not gay I think the attraction comes from a respect for intellect. Although I know my husband is not shy to say when he thinks some man is attractive physically. And where women are concerned...well come on...who do you think we dress for? Maybe in our youth we dress for men but I am here to tell you that once that stage of life has passed we dress ourselves to be noticed and appreciated by other women. I love your post and I believe it is so true. Attraction comes in so many forms and it is what brings people together and repels them apart all at the same time! It just depends on your comfort zone.

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  14. Hello Susie~

    Can I just tell how HAPPY I am to see you back in blogland again?

    Well...I AM! Yipeeeeeeeeeeeee...Susie's back!

    "You are an artistic man and can appreciate beauty in whatever form that it comes in."

    Yes, perhaps that's it. I have always been able to view beauty in whatever form. In fact, the college couple I mentioned in my email to you (who went to school in Italy), were the most striking couple. I found both very attractive and quite sexy.

    My brother sounds like your husband. He too is not shy in saying that another man is attractive. He knows who he is, therefore doesn't ever hesitant in saying what he feels.

    "And where women are concerned...well come on...who do you think we dress for?"

    HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! Oh how wonderful! I've heard so many women say the exact same thing. And I've gotta say, when another man compliments my appearance in some way, I find it very appreciative. So, your right!

    "Attraction comes in so many forms and it is what brings people together and repels them apart all at the same time! It just depends on your comfort zone."

    Amen.

    Thanks for stopping by, my friend! Always a joy!

    Have a great weekend!

    X

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  15. Very well said may friend. I have always been of the same opinion. Just because the baggage you carry is different does not mean you are not appealing and to both genders. I love being with a woman yet when a good looking or soul bending man is near me I am attracted to what he has that I would like to know about. Do I want him in an itimate way? No, I would like to absorb the energy he gives off and make it part of my highest good.
    But if there was something in this world that I would love and love to have a relationship sexual, spiritual and emotional it would have to be a RADISH. Now there is something I can sink my teeth into. It is crunchy, tangy and hot all at once. I love the shape and color of this vegetable. Yep, I have had nocturnal emmissions over a RADDISH Salad. I can't help it!! Open the fridge door I coming in.

    The veg made me do it.

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  16. Ok...Mr. Dave....

    First I have to start with the HUMOR in your comment.....

    "But if there was something in this world that I would love and love to have a relationship sexual, spiritual and emotional it would have to be a RADISH....."

    Bwhahahahhahahahahahahahahaha!
    Bwhahahahahahahahahaahahahaha!

    Dave, you KILL ME!!! I'm sitting here with tears rolling down my face; reading that whole last part of your comment. And then you topped it off with...

    "The veg made me do it."

    Bwhahahahahahahahhaa!

    And what you also shared at the start of your comment is also brilliant....

    "Just because the baggage you carry is different does not mean you are not appealing and to both genders. I love being with a woman yet when a good looking or soul bending man is near me I am attracted to what he has that I would like to know about. Do I want him in an itimate way? No, I would like to absorb the energy he gives off and make it part of my highest good."

    Couldn't have said that any better, my friend!

    Brava!

    Thanks, not only for your insight, but also for your wonderful sense of humor. You ROCK!

    Have a great weekend, Radish man!

    X

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  17. great post...totally get that, don't we often affectionately term them "girl crushes" or "bromances"? Must admire where admiration is due!

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  18. Yes it is impossible not to appreciate beautiful people. The world would be so less wonderful without Ashton, and Roger Federer and Ricky Martin and all the pussycat dolls! (Thank heavens for the US Open, I will be watching this weekend)

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  19. "Sexy is sexy, regardless of the gender."

    EXACTLY. While I am straight, and prefer a male partner, I find some women to be EXTREMELY attractive.


    Maybe its because we are both Libras and therefore we just really appreciate beautiful things [including people!]

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  20. Direct, articulate, thought-provoking. Oh yeah, THAT's why I like to come here. Once again, you've hit the nail right on the head, dear Ron. Even though I prefer the New York Dolls to the Pussycat version, you get my drift. Waiting for your book signing and speaking tour, good friend. EFH

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  21. Oh, Ron! I love that you wrote this. This was something I used to wonder about but have had so many gay friends, both male and female that I think I understand it a lot more.

    I am definitely attacted to men but have not problem admitting when I find another woman beautiful or attractive. Just because I find someone attractive does not mean I am attracted (sexually) TO them.

    I have a friend who was married to a man and then decided she was a lesbian and then they broke up and I asked her if she was still "gay" and she said she really didn't know, that at the moment she didn't want either one! LOL I guess we all should/could have an attraction/appreciation of the beauty of both sexes without "giving in" to anything more. I happen to appreciate the beauty that God put on the earth whether it be in people (men or women), animals, plants, or buildings. I just love beauty PERIOD.

    Have a fabulous weekend!

    {{{Ron}}}

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  22. Sexy is sexy, regardless of the gender.

    i totally agree.

    i see beauty in men and women. i know what i am and what i like. not afraid to acknowledge beauty/sexy when i see it.

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  23. Good Evening SuziCate~

    "don't we often affectionately term them "girl crushes" or "bromances"?"

    OMG...THANK YOU for saying that because I know so many men and women who have shared the same thing; refering to them as, "girl crushes" and "bromances."

    I truly think that represents our ability to simply admire the beauty of our own sex. It's like looking into a mirror.

    Thank you for stopping by and sharing on this post, Suzi! Much enjoyed!

    Have a wonderful weekend!

    X

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  24. Good Evening Diane~

    "The world would be so less wonderful without Ashton, and Roger Federer and Ricky Martin and all the pussycat dolls!"

    HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...you said it, dear lady!

    The world is filled with a cornucopia of beauty.

    "Thank heavens for the US Open, I will be watching this weekend."

    Enjoy, Diane! And have a gorgeous weekend!

    Thank you for stopping by!

    X

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  25. Hello my fellow Libra Meleah~

    "Maybe its because we are both Libras and therefore we just really appreciate beautiful things [including people!]"

    HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! I agree! Aren't us Libras such lovers of all things beautiful? It must be that Venus planet that rules us!

    Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, girl!

    ((( Meleah )))

    Have a beautiful weekend!

    X

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  26. Gooooood Evening Expat~

    "Even though I prefer the New York Dolls to the Pussycat version, you get my drift."

    HA! Yes, I do!

    You so remind me of my brother. A man who is totally comfortable and secure with who you are.

    Bravo, fellow man!

    Thank you so much for stopping by and adding your open spirit to this blog. Much enjoyed and appreciated!

    Have a SUPER weekend!

    X

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  27. Good Evening Peg~

    "but have had so many gay friends, both male and female that I think I understand it a lot more."

    Yes, my friend...I KNOW you do. I've always felt that.

    "Just because I find someone attractive does not mean I am attracted (sexually) TO them."

    Exactly!

    " I guess we all should/could have an attraction/appreciation of the beauty of both sexes without "giving in" to anything more."

    Yes, and that's why I think some people may fear the attraction they might have for someone of their same sex; believing it means they're gay or lesbian. Which it doesn't. It simply means they see someone as beautiful!

    "I happen to appreciate the beauty that God put on the earth whether it be in people (men or women), animals, plants, or buildings. I just love beauty PERIOD."

    Amen.

    {{{{ Peg }}}}

    Thank you so much for stopping by and adding your thoughts and feelings to this post, my dear friend!

    You da' lady!

    Have a wonderful weekend!

    X

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  28. Hello Val~

    "i see beauty in men and women. i know what i am and what i like. not afraid to acknowledge beauty/sexy when i see it."

    ((( Val )))

    You GO, girl!

    Always FABU seeing ya! Thanks for stopping by!

    Have a beautiful weekend!

    X

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  29. "To me, sexiness encompasses more than just the physical part of a person, anyway. It also has a lot to do with the way a person carries themselves."

    Amen Ron, I too feel this way I have seen some of the most attractive people until the time they opened their mouth and showed their true colors then they become so vile and ugly to me.

    The way a person carries themselves goes a long way in determining their beauty in my opinion, they say Beauty is only skin deep and attitude can sure cover that with ugly in a heartbeat and that applies to both sexes.

    No matter what your sexual preference is, the way we treat each other is what makes living a beautiful thing and physical beauty is just a bonus. You are only sexy if you don't let your attitude keep you from being sexy and thinking someone is attractive is in your eyes and gender doesn't apply.

    Hey Ron I didn't know you were Gay, I just thought you were sexy :^)

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  30. Howdy Jimmy~

    Ok...I have to start with the last line of your comment...

    "Hey Ron I didn't know you were Gay, I just thought you were sexy."

    Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! BRILLIANT!

    Ya see, that's what love and respect about you Jimmy, your total openness to go for the ride and enjoy it!

    " I have seen some of the most attractive people until the time they opened their mouth and showed their true colors then they become so vile and ugly to me."

    Me tooooooooo! OMG, they open their mouths and it just ruin the attractiveness. Total turn-off.

    "No matter what your sexual preference is, the way we treat each other is what makes living a beautiful thing and physical beauty is just a bonus."

    BRAAAAVA! You said it!

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by and sharing, my friend!

    AAAAAAAAALWAYS enjoyed!

    Have an awesome weekend!

    X to you and Cindy!

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  31. Well, heck....I'm a Libra and I'm not the least bit attracted to radishes.

    Just sayin'.....

    Though I have learned to look at all human beings differently....with a lot of work--they're not competition any more.

    Radishes, however......

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  32. Hey Ron,
    you hit the nail on the head with this post. There is nothing wrong with finding a person sexy whether or not that person is man or woman. It took me many years to realize that although I am a gay woman it's completley normal for me to consider a man to be "good looking". That's not to say that I want to be intimate with them. I so agree with Lolli's statement of how confusing sexuality is even when you're confident of your own.

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  33. Gooood Morning Mel~

    "Well, heck....I'm a Libra and I'm not the least bit attracted to radishes."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Wasn't Dave's comment hysterical?

    Actually, I've never been attracted to radishes myself - HA!

    "Though I have learned to look at all human beings differently....with a lot of work--they're not competition any more."

    (((( Mel )))))

    Thank you for stopping by this morning, dear lady Libra friend!

    Have a beautiful weekend!

    X

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  34. Good Morning Brndoutw8tress!

    "It took me many years to realize that although I am a gay woman it's completley normal for me to consider a man to be "good looking"."

    Exactly, same here.

    Yes, it is true what Lolli shared. Sexuality can be confusing. I use to only think in terms of black and white, but realized there's more.

    Thank you for stopping by, neighbor! Always so great seeing ya!

    Hope you're having a beautiful weekend! Isn't the weather gorgeous?

    X

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  35. It's interesting that as a general rule I haven't seen it questioned when a heterosexual states that they find someone of their same sex sexy. Of course a person can recognize sex appeal without being personally attracted by it, and I'm sure the person who couldn't understand your finding the Pussycat Dolls sexy has that experience as often as anybody else.

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  36. you got so many comments on this post so I'm sure I'm not the first to say that I think the PCD's are SO SEXY! I'm not gay, but I loves me some sexy women!

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  37. Hi tattytiara~

    OMG, it's so funny because I was JUST thinking about you yesterday afternoon; wondering how you were, and VIOLA...I found your comment when I got home from work. Great seeing ya!

    "Of course a person can recognize sex appeal without being personally attracted by it..."

    Exactly.

    Thanks so much for stopping by. I hope you had a wonderful summer. I'm so looking forward to fall.

    Have a great night!

    X

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  38. Hiya Lora~

    "I think the PCD's are SO SEXY! I'm not gay, but I loves me some sexy women!"

    ((( Lora )))

    Aren't they HOT?

    I'm not straight, but I loves me some sexy women too!

    HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Always great seeing ya, neighbor! Hope you're having a super weekend!

    Thanks for stopping by!

    X

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  39. sigh.

    i COMPLETELY agree. although i prefer men as life partners (we have that in common- high five!) i find women completely sexy. and i can't say that i haven't fantasized about them once in a while. however, in real life, i would never go there. it's weird, eh?

    but yes. i can appreciate sexiness, from whatever gender it shows itself.

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  40. Gooood Morn'in Blunt~

    "i find women completely sexy. and i can't say that i haven't fantasized about them once in a while. however, in real life, i would never go there. it's weird, eh?"

    Nah, I don't think it's weird one bit. You simply know what's real and what's fantasy.

    You GO, girl!

    Thanks for stopping by, Blunt. Always enjoyed and appreciated!

    Have a Super Sunday!

    X

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  41. That's the same response a friend of the family gave us during the course of a dinner discussion (I'm not quire sure how the topic was brought up, but I'm sure whiskey or wine was to blame). Beauty is everywhere, and one would be a fool not to recognize it when spotted.

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  42. Good Evening Herman~

    "I'm not quire sure how the topic was brought up, but I'm sure whiskey or wine was to blame."

    Bwhahahahahahahahaha! OMG, you kill me, man! You're a riot!

    "Beauty is everywhere, and one would be a fool not to recognize it when spotted."

    Amen!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing, buddy! Always a pleasure to see ya!

    Hope you enjoyed a great weekend!

    X

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  43. I totally agree. I can appreciate the sexiness of other women but my preference is to be with a man. Really, isn't this why women dress up? It's generally not to impress a man but for other women. Most of the time we care more about their opinion than a man's. Doesn't mean we are all lesbians. I think I wrote a post about that. What do you know?

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  44. Hi Jen~

    "Most of the time we care more about their opinion than a man's. Doesn't mean we are all lesbians."

    True. And I've heard coutless women share the exact same thing.

    Ooooo....I may have to go back into your blog archives and check out that post. I don't think I read it before.

    Thanks for stopping by, my friend!

    X

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