Q-Tips, Doggie Piddle, and Freaks


As you may have read in my subway post last week, city life lends itself to witnessing the unusual.

However, sometimes I witness things that even “I” can’t believe I witness. Because after all these years of living in a city, I thought I was immune to being shocked.

....I thought.

Sometimes I see things and say to myself, “Is it me, or are some people just plain FREAKS?”

I witnessed two things last week that took the Olympic gold medal for Best In Freak Show.

Allow me to say that what I'm about to share with you is 100% true. Yet, if someone was to tell me this I think I would believe they made it up.

But you know what they say….real life is often times stranger than fiction.

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First up, was a man who came into the store and decided to use the Q-tips on one of the cosmetic counters to clean his ears.

Yes, you heard me…TO CLEAN HIS FILTHY EARS.

I watched, as this Neanderthal man took a handful of wooden Q-tips and then proceeded to SWAB his ears, whilst nonchalantly walking through the cosmetic department.

Now, that’s not the most freakish part. The most freakish part was that after he swabbed his ears, he tossed the Q-tips on the floor; leaving them for all of us to look at.

And can I tell you?

This man did not only have a few potato’s growing out of his ears, but more like every potato field in the state of Idaho.

He was Mr. Potato Head.

And what truly appalled me about his nasty deed was that he acted as if he was entitled to do this; without so much as a look around to see if anyone was even watching him.

I stood there bug-eyed, as he deposited his last Q-tip on the floor and then sashayed out the front door, whistling.

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Second up, was a woman I saw walking through my department with her dog on a leash. Personally, I see nothing wrong with people walking their small, well-behaved dogs through a store, however many find it offensive and feel it should not be allowed.

After witnessing what I’m about to share with you, I may have to change my mind and agree.

As this woman got closer to the exit door of the store, she stopped to look at something in one of the cosmetic cases. It was then, that her dog lifted its leg and PEED all over one of the visual displays. She saw the dog do this, but instead of picking the canine up, she allowed it to completely empty its bladder and then SCURRIED out of the store.

All of us sale associates just stood there with our mouths hanging down to the floor and looked at one another, saying in unison and pointing, “ OMG…CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT SHE JUST DID?”

And it was fun to stand there and guard it, so that the other customers wouldn’t accidentally walk into it until housekeeping got there to clean up the hefty pool of doggie piddle.

So, I ask you…..

aren’t some people just plain FREAKS?






Note: Thank you ladies and gentlemen for sharing your advice and feeback on my last post. I so appreciated it....X

53 comments

  1. Hey there Ronaldo,

    I really think that you found some of the "crème de la crème" of the Freak world. And the best part is, there are loads more to be discovered!

    Mr Q-Tip has a big problem with hygiène and cleanliness of all kinds. And the Mama to the "Pee-Pee Pouch" is just nuts. And, you had to play policeman! Oh yes, slipping in a pee puddle is not only dangerous but smeelly too :(

    So, keep your eyes open for the "Grade A" nut!

    Have a great Monday, sweetheart xo

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  2. U.N.B.E.I.E.V.A.B.L.E.!

    Some people are not of this world are they???? :0

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  3. O.M.G...........the Q Tip Man is HILARIOUS!!!! I am laughing so hard........people are TOTAL FREAKS, aren't they? That is just plain gross!

    The dog story is weird to me because aren't animals prohibited in stores, unless it's for a blind person?? And I'm sure you would've recognized Paris Hilton, so we know it wasn't her! LOL. Great stories, Ron. I may have to do a post of my own from back in my retailing days.

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  4. Ye gods, Ron, maybe you guys should lock the door and put in a peephole. Nobody allowed in unless they promise to act like human beings!

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  5. Talk about having the nerve! Oh my my... I bet you get to see the whole color palette of human nature in your job. From the cutest of pinks to the yuckiest of grays. If you can talk about it, let it all out, with someone, it is bearable. Just don't stock it in.

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  6. My first laugh of the day ... Q-tips. You can't credit what some folk will do. I agree with you it's almost unbelievable. Did he leave a tip for the use of same? Perhaps the dog was his own, sent in to add insult to injury. I can imagine what was going through your head at the time of the next occurrence. One of the mucky Q-tips should have been used as a stopper, if you get my drift. Oh well, it's Monday already. Have a great week. Signing off in bloggy name, otherwise known as Valerie. (Thinking of changing the blog named to A Mixed-up Old Bag ... grins)

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  7. Hey there Barbara~

    "I really think that you found some of the "crème de la crème" of the Freak world. And the best part is, there are loads more to be discovered!"

    You are sooooooooooooooooo correct, my friend. There are LOADS more to be discovered!

    Well, at least they make for interesting blog fodder, right? HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

    Apparently (from what other people told me) Mr. Q-tip had been in the store several times before (a regular), but I just wasn't there to witness him - until last week!

    Thank you for stopping by, Barb! Have a great Monday and week!

    XO to you and D!

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  8. Good Morning Akelamalu~

    UNBELEIVABLE it right!

    "Some people are not of this world are they???? :0 "

    No. They're from the planet UR-ANUS! Bwhahhahahahahahahhaha!

    Thanks for stopping by, m'dear! Happy Monday to you!

    Have a great week!

    X

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  9. Hi Bijoux~

    Tee, hee!

    When I saw the Q-Tip Man photo online I just HAD to grab it because it was perfect for what I wanted to say. Isn't it brilliant? I laughed too!!!

    Yes, you are correct....animals/dogs (with the exception of seeing-eye dogs) are prohibited in stores. Most people carry their little dogs either in their arms or in a large handag. Personally, it's never bothered me seeing a dog walking on a leash, however, now, I may have to change my opinion - HA!

    "And I'm sure you would've recognized Paris Hilton, so we know it wasn't her!"

    Funny you mentioned Paris Hilton because a few years ago she came into our store to do a promotion for her latest fragrance at the time. She actually DID have her dog with her, but she kept it in one of the executive offices while she signed autographs. Unfortunately, I wasn't working that day, but everyone said she was so nice.

    Yes, PLEASE share a post from back in your retail days. I would LOVE to read it!!!

    As always, thank you for stopping by. Have a great Monday and week, Bijoux!

    X

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  10. Hey Rob~

    ".....maybe you guys should lock the door and put in a peephole. Nobody allowed in unless they promise to act like human beings!"

    Great idea! Infortunately, that would probably mean the store would be EMPTY - HAHAHAHAHAHHHHA!

    Always great seeing ya, buddy. Happy Memorial Day! Have a great week!

    X

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  11. Bonjour Susu~

    "Oh my my... I bet you get to see the whole color palette of human nature in your job. From the cutest of pinks to the yuckiest of grays."

    HA! What a fabulous way of saying it, Susu! Yes, you're right!

    I can't tell you HOW MANY great retail stories I've shared on this blog in the past four years. So, I guess I should be grateful, hu? HA!

    Always GRAND to see you, beautiful lady! Have a glorious week!

    Ciao....X

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  12. Gooooood Morning Valerie~

    Tee, hee!

    "You can't credit what some folk will do. I agree with you it's almost unbelievable. Did he leave a tip for the use of same?"

    No, can you believe it??? He just took a handful and used them. AND threw them on the floor :(

    "Perhaps the dog was his own, sent in to add insult to injury. I can imagine what was going through your head at the time of the next occurrence. One of the mucky Q-tips should have been used as a stopper, if you get my drift."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, I 'get' your brilliant drift!!!

    Oh well, such is life in the big city. Amusing, but STRANGE!

    OMG, I LAUGHED at your thinking about changing your blog name! But, you are not any old bag, dear lady....you're faaaaaaaaaabulous!

    Have a glorious week! Thanks a bunch for stopping by.

    X

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  13. Note to self: do not apply for Housekeeping position at store where Ron works.

    That's just nasty, and unbelievable. On both counts. Portland's unofficial slogan is "Keep Portland Weird." I'm all for that, but I draw the line at dirty q-tips and dogs that urinate in department stores.

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  14. Howdy Mark~

    "Note to self: do not apply for Housekeeping position at store where Ron works."

    Oh come on....wouldn't you like to clean up doggie piddle and filthy Q-tips?

    HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    "Portland's unofficial slogan is "Keep Portland Weird." I'm all for that, but I draw the line at dirty q-tips and dogs that urinate in department stores. "

    OMG, that's faaaaaaabulous, Mark! I had no idea that was Portland's unofficial slogan. I love it! However, you're right....weird is one thing, yet FREAKY is another - HA!

    Thanks for stopping by, bud! Have an awesome Memorial Day and week!

    X

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  15. OMG...I don't even know how to respond to this. Some people have NO COUTH. But if you think about it, it COULD be worse. The Qtip guy could have been there when the dog piddled and it would have been much worse had he soaked the qtips in the dog piddle and THEN used them to clean his ears! WOW... I can't believe I even wrote that... that grosses me out just thinking about it. Hope this week is alittle less entertaining!

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  16. Cleaning out your ears is just like wiping yourself after the loo. It is, after all, bodily waste of sorts. It should be done in private.

    It's almost as bad as a hairdresser I worked for, where the owner's son had a really bad cold. He blew his nose all day long and threw the full tissues on the floor of the salon for the young trainees to pick up. I was horrified! That, along with the Q-tips is total lack of respect for others.

    What can I say about the dog? If that was me I would have said something, and offered to clean it up myself. I am always gob-smacked at people's behaviour.

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  17. Hey Peg~

    "OMG...I don't even know how to respond to this."

    I know...isn't it SHOCKING?????

    "...it could have been worst. The Qtip guy could have been there when the dog piddled and it would have been much worse had he soaked the qtips in the dog piddle and THEN used them to clean his ears! WOW... I can't believe I even wrote that... that grosses me out just thinking about it."

    Bwhahahahhahahahahaha!

    Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!

    Okay, you're right....it could have been worse!

    Thanks for stopping by, Peg! Hope you had marvi Monday and a great Memorial Day!

    X

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  18. Hey Babs~

    "Cleaning out your ears is just like wiping yourself after the loo. It is, after all, bodily waste of sorts. It should be done in private."

    THANK YOU! in private.

    "He blew his nose all day long and threw the full tissues on the floor of the salon for the young trainees to pick up. I was horrified!"

    Ewwwwwwww! Aren't some people just FREAKS????

    "What can I say about the dog? If that was me I would have said something, and offered to clean it up myself. I am always gob-smacked at people's behaviour."

    Me too. That's exactly what I would have done. However, if I saw the dog peeing to begin with, I would have scooped it up and took it outside.

    LOVE that expressing, Babs.....gob-smacked....faaaaaabulous! I gotta remember that!

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by today, my friend. Hope you had a great Monday!

    X

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  19. sadly this in no way shocks me and I totally believe you

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  20. I should be appalled--grossed out even.... Wait--I think I'm both.

    *shaking head*
    Some people's kids, eh?

    Small wonder I hate shopping.
    You've just affirmed my belief that the task should be assigned to he-who-loves-to-dawdle-around-in-stores.
    Toys-R-Us will be my only exception.

    *shudder*
    O
    M
    G

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  21. Hey Lady Dianne~

    "sadly this in no way shocks me and I totally believe you"

    Yup...leave it to my New Yorker friend to tell me she's in no way shocked! HA!

    Isn't it AMAZING the shit we see, having been exposed to city life????

    Thanks for stopping by, dear lady. Hope you had a great holiday weekend!

    X and hugs to you and Hope!

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  22. Helloooooooooo Mel~

    "I should be appalled--grossed out even.... Wait--I think I'm both.

    *shaking head*
    Some people's kids, eh?"

    HAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHA! Yeah, some people's kids, exactly!

    Oh brother, you wouldn't BELIEVE some of the stuff I've seen while being in retail. Honestly, I could write a BOOK.

    Wait a minute....hey, why don't I? HA!

    And you're right....with the exception of Toys-R-US. Any store to do with TOYS is a-okay!

    Thank you bunches for stopping by today, dear lady! Hope you had a nice holiday weekend!

    X

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  23. Seriously?! Man, both of those people need to attend a "social decorum" refresher course. What goes though the heads of some people I'll never understand. Do they feel a sort of entitlement or possess an air of superiority over all others that they think they can act in any manner that suits them? Did they not get proper discipline as children. Were they not raised in an environment with rules of social etiquette?

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  24. Howdy Herman~

    "Man, both of those people need to attend a "social decorum" refresher course."

    Yes....THANK YOU!!!!!

    "Do they feel a sort of entitlement or possess an air of superiority over all others that they think they can act in any manner that suits them?"

    Oh man, you would not BELIEVE some of the stuff I've seen in this city. Yes, they act with entitlement and superiority. Yet, at the same time they act with such ignorance you wouldn't believe it. Or maybe you would, now that you've read this post - HA!

    Always FAB to see ya, buddy! Hope you and the family had a wonderful holiday weekend!

    X to you, Karin and Tyler!

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  25. Let's just lock up all the freaks. ...no ....wait .... we can't do that because there wouldn't be anyone left on the planet who wasn't behind lock and key. Seriously, I can't BELIEVE those people did those things.

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  26. Hey Tracy~

    "Let's just lock up all the freaks. ...no ....wait .... we can't do that because there wouldn't be anyone left on the planet who wasn't behind lock and key."

    Bwahahahahahahahahahaha! So true! Soooooo true!!!!

    The world is FULL OF FREAKS!!!!

    Thanks for stopping by, girl. And thanks for the great laugh!

    Hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend, going with the flow!

    X

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  27. hahahah! you truly see the weirdest act when you are surrounded with people. disgusting but still so funny! XD i bet they are too comfortable with themselves they didn't realize there were actually people watching them? no wait, maybe they didn't have the sense to notice as well. you know, like a little blunt on the edge. i totally love what you shared! XD

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  28. Greetings Levian~

    "you truly see the weirdest act when you are surrounded with people. disgusting but still so funny!"

    Yes, HOW TRUE THAT IS!

    That's why I truly enjoy my job. I meet some FREAKS, but OMG...they are FUNNY!

    "no wait, maybe they didn't have the sense to notice as well. you know, like a little blunt on the edge."

    HA! Yeah, I think that's more like it!

    Always FAB to see you, my friend. Much thanks for stopping by.

    Hope you had a super weekend!
    X

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  29. Greetings DeDee~

    Welcome! Thank you for stopping by and sharing a comment. Nice to meet you!

    Tee, hee! Aren't some people just plain FREAKS?

    Stop by anytime!

    X

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  30. Oh my goodness - WHAT THE HELL is wrong with people? YIKES. I would have chased after the lady and demanded she clean up after her dog. And, I totally would have said something to Q-Tip guy too. Probably why I do NOT and can NOT work n retail!

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  31. Hey Meleah~

    I think we were all so shocked and taken back, that we could only stand there and GAWK - HA!

    Security is suppose to be watching the customers on camera, but they don't. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

    Thanks for stopping by, girl! Have a great Tuesday!

    X

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  32. You can tell Peg and I were sisters because her first two sentences were exactly what I was going to say! Now I am speachless!!!!

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  33. Hi SuziCate~

    "You can tell Peg and I were sisters because her first two sentences were exactly what I was going to say! Now I am speachless!!!!"

    Bwhahahahahaahahahahaha!

    Aren't some people just plain FREAKS?????

    I think I may be emotionally scarred from this experience - HA!

    Always great seeing you, Suzi. Thanks for stopping by!

    X

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  34. baaaaaahahahhaaha! oh man, potatoes growing in his ears.

    SICK! seriously WTF is up with people. was he also wearing a jean shirt with cut off sleeves? what in the world.

    and the dog peeing. OMG. it's bad enough, but to just leave the store. come on.

    but see, this is why i loved retail. endless blog material

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  35. Well I got a good laugh.... so thank you for that! :) But you and your co-workers must have been really shocked.
    Yeah, I do think some people just aren't completely here. They walk amongst us but where their thoughts are I don't know.

    I think the only time a person should be able to bring their pet to a store is if they are blind or handicapped in some other way and they need the help.
    Does your store have a policy about animals?

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  36. Hey Blunt~

    "SICK! seriously WTF is up with people. was he also wearing a jean shirt with cut off sleeves? what in the world."

    Bwhahahahahahahahahaha! I LOVE IT!!!!

    No, he wasn't wearing a jean shirt with cut off sleeves, but a T-shirt with Mr. Potato Head on it - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    "but see, this is why i loved retail. endless blog material.'

    You said it, girl! I could write a BOOK!

    Thanks for stopping by, bestie! Hope you had a great holiday weekend!

    X

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  37. Hiya Crystal Chick~

    "Well I got a good laugh.... so thank you for that! :) But you and your co-workers must have been really shocked."

    Yes, we were BEYOND shocked. More like WTF SHOCKED - HA!

    "Yeah, I do think some people just aren't completely here. They walk amongst us but where their thoughts are I don't know."

    I don't know either. Perhaps in another realm!?!

    Yes, our store does have a policy about animals (with the exception of seeing-eye dogs), however they don't enforce it. Most people will actually carry their small dogs in either their purse or hand-carry them.

    Always FAB seeing ya, M! Much thanks for stopping by. Hope you had a great holiday weekend!

    X

    P.S. are you LOVIN' this heatwave???

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  38. Ron...HILARIOUS!

    That last picture of the Q-tip busted me up!! Yes, some people are just plain FREAKS :(

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  39. Hola Denise~

    Tee, hee! When I saw that photo online I knew that I HAD to use it. Isn't it hilarious?

    Yup...some people are just plain FREAKS!

    Mucho grassy for stopping by, girl! Have a great week!

    X

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  40. EW EW EW EW. OK... I see a match made in heaven. Dog pee lady and ear wax man.

    I love to look at the positive side of things, but when I see people like that I always have to pause for a moment of depression... What are people THINKING!!!

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  41. Helloooooooo Katherine~

    It's sooooooo great to see you, dear lady!

    "EW EW EW EW. OK... I see a match made in heaven. Dog pee lady and ear wax man."

    Bwhahahahahaahhaahaha! OMG, that is FLAWLESS!! And maybe they'll ask me to be Best Man in the wedding!

    "I love to look at the positive side of things, but when I see people like that I always have to pause for a moment of depression... What are people THINKING!!!"

    I agree! Or perhaps we should ask...ARE they thinking! HA!

    Thank you for stopping by! Hope you had a great weekend!

    X

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  42. WOW!!! And I thought the bus was freaky with its "Juicy" bottomed, cell-phone shoutin', rib-eatin' and finger-lickin' riders!

    Sheesh!

    Pearl

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  43. Hey Pearl~

    "WOW!!! And I thought the bus was freaky with its "Juicy" bottomed, cell-phone shoutin', rib-eatin' and finger-lickin' riders!"

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOVED the "Juicy" bottomed. You are sooooooooo right!!!!!

    Sheesh!

    Always fab seeing ya, Pearl. Thanks for stopping by. Enjoy your Wednesday!

    X

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  44. ...lol...You should've run up to the fellow and said, "excuse me sir, you dropped something"... ;o) It's people like that that make me bite my lip so hard it bleeds because that is the only way I'm going to keep my mouth shut. The things people do never ceases to amaze me, it's just unreal. *sigh*

    ...I can only imagine the stories you could tell working in the industry that you do. There must never be a dull moment! lol... I bet you could write a book! Hmmm, great idea, no? ;o)

    ...I hope you're having a piddle free week my friend! :o)

    ...Blessings...

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  45. Helloooooo TJ~

    "...lol...You should've run up to the fellow and said, "excuse me sir, you dropped something"... ;o)"

    Yes, you're right...I should have - HA!

    "It's people like that that make me bite my lip so hard it bleeds because that is the only way I'm going to keep my mouth shut. The things people do never ceases to amaze me, it's just unreal."

    Me too, dear lady. OFTEN times I have to bite my lip so hard it bleeds to keep my mouth shut. Like today...something happened that was BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND FREAKY.

    *I had to bite my lip*

    I really should seriously think about writing a book based on the cosmetic industry and retail. Making I'd even make some money off it!

    Honestly, even though it's annoying and bazaar at times, I still LOVE it. I feel so lucky to have a job.

    Thank you so much for stopping by to say Hi. You made my night!

    I'm so enjoying your blog, TJ.

    What a blessing!

    Have a great rest of your week....X

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  46. Sadly I can totally believe it. I've seen some pretty nasty things not only in Philly but other places as well. The whole dog thing is a huge bummer. This is why stores generally don't let people bring dogs in. In Europe it's much more acceptable. Not sure if people there are more considerate or the Europeans just don't care.

    Wondering who had to clean those two messes up. Hope it wasn't you.

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  47. Hey Jen~

    "In Europe it's much more acceptable. Not sure if people there are more considerate or the Europeans just don't care."

    Yes, I was actually going to mention that in this post. In most European countries, people can bring their dogs everywhere - even in cafes! Honestly, it doesn't bother me, however I guess there's always the chance that the dog might piddle - HA!

    No, I didn't have to clean it up (only guard it) until housekeeping got there.

    Thanks for stopping by, my friend. Hope you're having a great week and that all is going well with your kitchen makeover!

    X

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  48. Oh, my God - you are KILLING me! Well, you were right, I don't believe it.

    How many times in my life am I going to ask the question, "What is WRONG with people?"

    Also? I totally thought of you today as I was making my yearly reservation to visit Lake Tahoe this November. Some woman said that it was a good time see the salmon at Camp Richardson. She was so excited about it, but she didn't sell it to me because it sounded horribly boring. No thanks, lady, I'll just veg in front of a slot machine thank you.

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  49. Helloooooooooo Margaret~

    It's so FAB seeing ya!

    "How many times in my life am I going to ask the question, "What is WRONG with people?"

    HA! Yeah, I like ask myself that question at least TEN times a day!

    "I totally thought of you today as I was making my yearly reservation to visit Lake Tahoe this November."

    OMG...I am SO jealous! November is most likely the BEST time to visit Tahoe too. I bet it GORGEOUS!!!

    "She was so excited about it, but she didn't sell it to me because it sounded horribly boring. No thanks, lady, I'll just veg in front of a slot machine thank you."

    A good time see the salmon at Camp Richardson? WTF???? Yup...I agree, I'd just veg in front of a slot machine.

    Thanks oodles for stopping by, Margaret. Hope you're enjoying a wonderful Summer! It's been hotter than hell here - UGH!

    X

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  50. Oh my freaking God!!! Yes!!! People are freaks! I'm more grossed out by Mr. Potato Head, since presumably he has a brain between his potato filled ears. He should know better. The dog was just doing what he does. Although the woman should have been made to lick it up. Yeah, I'd pay to see that.

    I'm convinced you see EVERYTHING in retail.

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  51. Hey Kathy~

    So great to see ya, girl!

    "I'm more grossed out by Mr. Potato Head, since presumably he has a brain between his potato filled ears. He should know better."

    You're right! Apparently, he comes into the store a lot and does the same thing each time. However, this was the first time I had seen him.

    "The dog was just doing what he does. Although the woman should have been made to lick it up. Yeah, I'd pay to see that."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What a faaaaabulous idea!

    Honestly, it wasn't the dogs fault...it was the OWNERS.

    Thanks for stopping by, neighbor! Hope you had a great weekend. Hasn't the weather been beautiful?

    X

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  52. Oh, man, Ron. Going up to the high 90s Wed/Thurs. I'm not going to be outside for more than a minute. You just know the heat index will be well over a hundred. Stay cool, buddy!

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  53. Hey Kathy~

    OMG...I just saw the PA weather online for Thursday....98!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I can't WAIT for Fall - HA!

    Stay cool, girl!

    X

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