Approval


Throughout my childhood, I was pretty much an outcast.

I was not very social in school because I never fit into any particular group.

And let’s face it, school is all about fitting into a group.

I wasn’t part of the scholastic group because I was more interested in being street smart than book smart. Nor was I part of the athletic group because I had no interest in sports. My interests leaned more towards artistic things, but was not able to nurture that part of myself until I became a senior in high school.

Also, I think being gay had something to do with it.

Truthfully? For as far back as I can remember, I never had any dramatic struggles with coming to the understanding and acceptance that I was gay because it always seemed natural to me. But apparently the other kids I went to school with didn‘t think so.

Back then, I don’t think kids fully understood what ‘gay’ meant, but they could tell from my non-interest in what typical boys were interested in, I was different.

Kids can often times be very mean when they sense someone is different.

Especially boys to boys.

Just like girls to girls.

I now realize as an adult, the way I was treated by other kids simply came out of fear.

From the time I started school until I got to my senior year, I was verbally abused almost every single day of my life.

My least favorite time of the day in school was while we were changing classes and had to walk though the hallways to get to our next classroom. A group of boys would stand by the water fountain and shout, “ Oh, there goes the faggot!”

They also shared a few other ‘choice’ words, which I won’t offend your ears with.

And I can remember looking at them thinking, “Do you have any idea what you’re doing?” Part of me felt hurt being verbally whiplashed in front of my other classmates, yet there was another part of me that actually felt sorry for those boys because of their ignorance.

There was no way I could tell my parents what was going on in school because if I had, it would have only made the situation worse by bringing more attention to it.

So, I plugged along.

Even though I was emotionally hurt by their abuse, something deep inside told me that I would be okay. I knew enough not to retaliate with words because it would not have done any good, and would have probably gotten more physical than verbal.

Anyway, the whole point of this post is to say that I think many of us, in one way or another, have experienced ‘not fitting in’ and seeking approval during our childhood.

Hell, even in our adulthood.

But the question is….what have we done with that?

Me, personally? I’ve allowed it to show me that I can’t rely on the rest of the world for approval.

I’m sincerely grateful for what I experienced in my childhood because it has given me the ability to realize something profound.

It’s one thing to live in this world and know that I am part of the whole.

But it’s another thing to rely on this world to make me feel WHOLE.

Approval, regardless of what it pertains to, has to come from within.

59 comments

  1. Good moning Ronnie,
    Your post is just falling the right place, "smack dab" in the middle.
    I can relate to it today, in the verge of changing relationships, and very much through my past.

    I was not the "hipster" either. I was very much a loner in intermediate & HS. A few kids turned it around to make fun of my shyness and awkwardness, my simple looks and whatever else they wanted to tease.
    Yes, kids could be so mean. I had girls and boys who did this!

    It ended up in HS that I had a small circle of trusted friends after 10th grade, but being outside the "circles" did make me quiet and capable of taking care of myself. I was really shy in society, but capable to be alone take care of myself. These traits have been with me since this time.

    So, I can sympathise with you and anyone else who has been there. Christina Aguilera says it best in her song, "Beautiful"

    "I am beautiful no matter what they say
    Words can't bring me down
    I am beautiful in every single way
    Yes, words can't bring me down
    So don't you bring me down today"

    I am am going to play that song today-I love it. Yes, don't forget that you are beautiful too, Ronnie.
    xox

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  2. It takes a long time for kids to understand a lot of things but I hope modern thinking and understanding will ease the way for gay people. It's awfully difficult not being able to fit in with groups; I experienced it when I was a kid. The bullies taunted me because I was fat, red headed, and freckled, but mainly because I was too timid to stick up for myself. Even now I have trouble thinking up cutting remarks although I'm no longer timid. Reserved is a better description. If it's any use ... you have my approval x

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  3. Oh Ron it made my heart ache to read how you were abused at school, children can be so very cruel. I was a fat child and was constantly taunted about it at school. My Dad told me "Be happy with yourself and learn to laugh at yourself. If bullies can't make you cry they soon get bored and will leave you alone." It's hard when you're a child but the advice was good it worked. I love you Ron. x

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  4. Wonderful post, Ron!

    I, too, was picked on, bullied, and harassed when I was in school. My son went through the same thing. It's really sad to think that people can be so cruel.

    I can say that I turned out OK (my opinion, anyway). My son is also one to be proud of. He is persuing an education in Engineering.

    You are absolutely right. Approval does have to come from within. When we try to seek approval from others we end up frustrated and no matter how hard we try, we come up short. I choose to please "me".

    Have a fab week, Ron!

    XOXO

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  5. What a grand lesson learned! I had similar experiences. We do come out stronger. You are awesome.

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  6. Oh Ron! I totally agree with you.

    I don't think I ever really fitted in for most of my life. I was definitely different from the rest of the giggling girls. I certainly didn't have many friends and I was picked on a bit, but nothing that really caused me any bother. The reason it didn't bother me too much was because I didn't really care what they thought of me. People that name call were not important to me and I certainly didn't want them as friends. I don't know if it had anything to do with coming from a large family and battling with siblings constantly, but being called names just rolled off my back.

    I have never knowingly looked for approval from others and grew up doing and wearing what pleased me. I mostly made my own clothes so I could be original and not follow the crowd. This makes me wonder if we unknowingly separate ourselves from others because maybe we prefer to nurture our uniqueness as a human being. I don't know, but I do know that I will never look to other people to make me feel whole, or for approval.

    My motto has always been "Take me as I am, or not at all"

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  7. P.S.

    I was going to say that I was sorry you went through all that as a child, but actually it made you who you are today, so I'm not sorry :)

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  8. you are so very right
    and wise

    I went through the same thing because I was the tallest, the biggest, I had red hair, my father was the neighborhood drunk
    on and on and on

    I did the wrong thing for awhile in that I tried desperately to fit in by going along with everything and everyone
    there were times when I had no respect for myself at all

    then I just started to accept myself and my surroundings although I will admit that most of my growth came as an older adult

    funny - my best friend through most of HS was a gay kid who was so brave
    we often protected each other

    love ya
    Hope sends hugs

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  9. So true! You also can't expect others to like you, if you don't like yourself. I'm so sorry you had to go through some of those situations, Ron. Let's hope those former classmates have grown up by now.

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  10. Hey there Barbara~

    You summed up what I am saying with this post, SO perfectly...

    "It ended up in HS that I had a small circle of trusted friends after 10th grade, but being outside the "circles" did make me quiet and capable of taking care of myself. I was really shy in society, but capable to be alone take care of myself. These traits have been with me since this time."

    Going through what we experienced as kids made us capable of being in world with others, yet not relying on the world for approval.

    And thank you SO MUCH for sharing the words of Christina Aguilera's song, Beautiful! I LOVE that song!!!! And it's ironic you mentioned her because I ADORE her talent. In fact, I just recently saw her in the movie, Burlesque, and she was faaaaaaaaaaabulous! To me, she's got one of the most amazing voices!

    "I am am going to play that song today-I love it. Yes, don't forget that you are beautiful too, Ronnie."

    Thank you. And you TOO, my friend!

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by and sharing on this post. Muchly appreciated!

    Have a wonderful week!

    ((( Barb )))

    XOXO

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  11. Good Morning Valerie~

    "It takes a long time for kids to understand a lot of things but I hope modern thinking and understanding will ease the way for gay people."

    I truly think it HAS easied the way to a better understanding - people seem to be much more open now.

    "It's awfully difficult not being able to fit in with groups; I experienced it when I was a kid. The bullies taunted me because I was fat, red headed, and freckled, but mainly because I was too timid to stick up for myself."

    It is/was difficult, I agree. But it's given us the ability to not only learn self-approval, but also compassion and understanding for others.

    "If it's any use ... you have my approval."

    ((((( Valerie )))))

    Thank you, dear lady. You're a sweetheart!

    And thank you for stopping by and sharing on this post. Have a wonderful week!

    X

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  12. Good Morning Akelamalu~

    "My Dad told me "Be happy with yourself and learn to laugh at yourself. If bullies can't make you cry they soon get bored and will leave you alone."

    AWESOME advice!!!!!!

    And he's right....be happy with yourself and learn to LAUGH at yourself!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, m'dear!

    (((( Akelamalu )))))

    X ya, too!

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  13. Hey there myfwbs~

    "I can say that I turned out OK (my opinion, anyway). My son is also one to be proud of. He is persuing an education in Engineering."

    You SURE have, girl! I could tell from the second I met you through our blogs, you're a GEM!

    And a HUGE congrats to your son for persuing an education in Engineering. How WONDERFUL is that!!!!!!

    " When we try to seek approval from others we end up frustrated and no matter how hard we try, we come up short. I choose to please "me"."

    A-MEN!

    And isn't it something how when we eventually come to that undestanding, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks of us?

    Thanks sooooooooooooo much for stopping by and sharing on this post, my friend. So glad we met!

    Have a fab week!

    XOXO

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  14. Bonjour Susu~

    Yes, my friend....we DO come out stronger. And a bit wiser.

    Thank you for stopping by, beautiful lady. Have a chic week!

    Ciao.....X

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  15. Hey Babs~

    "People that name call were not important to me and I certainly didn't want them as friends. I don't know if it had anything to do with coming from a large family and battling with siblings constantly, but being called names just rolled off my back.

    I have never knowingly looked for approval from others and grew up doing and wearing what pleased me."

    BRAVA! GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!

    And I LOVE what you shared here....

    " This makes me wonder if we unknowingly separate ourselves from others because maybe we prefer to nurture our uniqueness as a human being. I don't know, but I do know that I will never look to other people to make me feel whole, or for approval."

    Yes, I think you're right because I sensed, even as a kid, that approval must come from within.

    "My motto has always been "Take me as I am, or not at all"

    Three cheers! You GO, girl!

    Thanks sooooooooooooo much for stopping by and sharing on this post, Babs. You've added much!

    (((( Babs ))))

    Have a wonderful week!

    X

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  16. Hi Babs~

    Just got your second comment.

    "P.S. I was going to say that I was sorry you went through all that as a child, but actually it made you who you are today, so I'm not sorry :)"

    You're absolutely right. And thank you!

    X

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  17. Hey Bijoux~

    You hit the nail on the head....

    "You also can't expect others to like you, if you don't like yourself."

    A-MEN!

    Like I shared, I'm grateful for what I experienced as a kid because it taught me something.

    Thank you for stopping by and sharing on this post, dear lady. You've added much!

    Have a grrrrrrrrrrreat week!

    X

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  18. Good Morning Lady Dianne~

    "I did the wrong thing for awhile in that I tried desperately to fit in by going along with everything and everyone
    there were times when I had no respect for myself at all."

    Oh believe me, I did the same thing. But, I think we eventually come to a point where we know that that doesn't work because we deny ourselves.

    "then I just started to accept myself and my surroundings although I will admit that most of my growth came as an older adult."

    Me too. As I got into my senior year in HS, that's when I began the journey to embracing myself.

    "funny - my best friend through most of HS was a gay kid who was so brave
    we often protected each other."

    ((((( Dianne )))))

    I bet guys LOVED hanging out with each other. And I have a feeling if you and I had known one another in HS, we would have been the same way!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, dear lady! You da' BOMB!

    Have a wonderful week!

    X and hugs to both you and Hope!

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  19. Sorry to hear about your high school experiences, Ron, but at least you learned a very important lesson from them. Approval really does come from within and if you wait on the rest of the world to give you a thumbs up, you may be hanging around for a very long time. (Late start today due to computer issues) Have a great week!

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  20. Hey Rob~

    "Approval really does come from within and if you wait on the rest of the world to give you a thumbs up, you may be hanging around for a very long time."

    Exactly! And that pertains to any type of approval.

    Honestly, I'm very grateful for my childhood experience because I learned a very good lesson.

    Sorry to hear about your computer issues. Don't you just LOVE when that happens? NOT! I had the same thing happen to me several months ago when I suddenly lost my Internet connection - UGH!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, bud! Have a great week!

    X

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  21. It’s one thing to live in this world and know that I am part of the whole.

    But it’s another thing to rely on this world to make me feel WHOLE. - sadly some never get it. You are a wise man, Ron. So sorry you endured so much pain, but I realize how much you grew from it and have become the compassionate person you are. Hugs, my friend.

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  22. LOVE this post, Ron! It comes from the heart. Some people are just so stupidly ignorant when it comes to gay people. Personally, I love them! Some of my closest friends have been gay or bisexual, and it's never bothered me. Live and let live, you know?

    I won't pretend to understand exactly what you experienced, but I was bullied in school myself so I can relate somewhat to what you went through.

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  23. Hey SuziCate~

    Yes, I know from past posts that you've shared on your wonderful blog, that you totally understand what I mean.

    Hugs back to you...

    ((((( Suzi )))))

    Thank you, my friend. And thanks for stopping by! Have a maaaavalous week!

    X

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  24. "Some of my closest friends have been gay or bisexual, and it's never bothered me. Live and let live, you know?"

    That's what I love and respect about you Mark....you're totally comfortable and secure with who you are.

    My brother is the same way. He loves gay people and could care less about someone's sexual preference, regardless what they're into.

    Live and let live.

    Like shared, I think MOST people have gone through being bullied, not fitting in, or approval during our childhood. But it's how we grew from it that really matters.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing, buddy. Muchly appreciate your presence on this blog!

    Have a supa' week!

    X

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  25. Hi Ronnie!
    I have to say I 100 percent agree with your post. For me acceptance was something I only struggled with for as long as I let myself. Once I realized that I didnt really care what others thought I became the girl sitting in the corner reading a book and noone bugged me and I was completely content. Its one of those things that if you learn the lesson in time you will be ok but if you let others opinions get to you its a long hard road.

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  26. Hey there cestlavie~

    AWESOME comment, girl! And you hit the nail on the head!

    " Once I realized that I didnt really care what others thought I became the girl sitting in the corner reading a book and no one bugged me and I was completely content. Its one of those things that if you learn the lesson in time you will be ok but if you let others opinions get to you its a long hard road."

    THANK. YOU.

    100% agreed!

    Muchly appreciate you stopping by and sharing on this post!

    Have an awesome week!

    X

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  27. awh ron, some kids can be so sooo mean. it hurts me when i hear and read about the stuff they do to other kids. i experienced mean kids in school, but i think it's WORSE today.

    i never did fit in anywhere and that's fine even as an adult. and you summed up the reason why nicely

    Me, personally? I’ve allowed it to show me that I can’t rely on the rest of the world for approval.

    NO ONE approves, validates or completes me. i approve, validate and complete myself. doesn't mean i don't try to make others happy or proud, doing so makes me happy, but ultimately i have to be happy with me first. people who seek the world's approval just to be themselves are often disappointed.

    now if you want to make prank calls to those punks who called you the F word, i'm down with you. wake their little punk behinds up at 2:00 a.m. get me their numbers.

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  28. Hey there V~

    First, I wanna give a HUGE hug...

    "now if you want to make prank calls to those punks who called you the F word, i'm down with you. wake their little punk behinds up at 2:00 a.m. get me their numbers."

    (((( V ))))

    Thank you, girl. You're the BEST!

    And I so loved what you've added to this post in saying...

    "NO ONE approves, validates or completes me. i approve, validate and complete myself. doesn't mean i don't try to make others happy or proud, doing so makes me happy, but ultimately i have to be happy with me first."

    You are soooooo right! We have to be happy with us first.

    Thanks oodles for dropping by and sharing! MUCHLY appreciated!

    X ya!

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  29. "Approval, regardless of what it pertains to, has to come from within."

    Hear! Hear!

    No wiser words were ever said. Shove what others think. It's how you feel about yourself that truly matters. The opinions of some mental midget in the hall doesn't carry a whiff of pull when all is said and done.

    Keep on fighting the good fight, my friend!

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  30. Any lousy excuse to grab on to and toss at someone so we can feel 'better than'......*sigh*

    I oughta know--I spent Junior High being the recipient of 'white trash' abuse. I was damned determined not to live it in High School. And I didn't.
    I positioned myself in a group of folks who had that harassment/bullying stuff down to a fine art--I had something they wanted and I found 'buddies'. I used them, they supposed they were using me.

    I became that which I'd hated.

    And for that, I truly am sorry. More than I can adequately express......

    See--I was the kid at the water fountain with my buddies that I partied with......snickering and pointing, muttering unkind, hurtful things, justifying my own entitlement -- smug in my 'better than you' position I established for myself at the cost of others. I used my mouth. I used my fists. I used every raunchy pronoun I could come up with to get tears or fear--and I snickered and laughed at my new found 'power'.

    I'm beyond sorry, and I cannot say it big enough or loud enough or often enough. But I will try--every chance I get....I made a commitment that I would.

    I want you to know I was smaller than you.
    I was weaker than you.
    I was LESS than you in the 'loving'/'accepting' department.
    I was the pathetic excuse for a human being, not you.
    I was wrong. And there is no excuse or justification for the choices I made.
    They were simply, awfully and painfully WRONG.

    I did not have the right to sling words until just the right ones got the reaction.
    I did not have the right to go from victim to victimizer.
    I did not have the right to HURT others so I could gain a sense of importance, so I could fit in, so I could impress other moronic acting empty, shallow, weak, pathetically small people who were trying hard to BE someone at the cost of others.
    They didn't have the right.
    *I* didn't have the right.

    And I am sorry for the choices I made...hugely so.....

    You, sir......are so very loved, exactly as is. You always have been--always will be.
    Your worth and value just IS.
    It isn't 'earned' through good deeds--and it's not diminished by making wrong choices today or at any time in your lifetime. (thank you, G-d for loving Ron and for loving ME without recourse and without conditions.....)
    You're loved--completely, without abandoned--AS IS.
    By G-d......and by me.

    And I'm damn proud to call you my friend.

    ((((((((((((( Ron ))))))))))))))

    Thank you for loving ME. (wordy little poop that I am....LOL)

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  31. Ron, thank you for sharing this post because you speak for many people. I myself had a very difficult time in school with not fitting in (approval) and feeling like an outcast. It took me many years to understand that the only way I could feel good about myself was to find it inside myself.

    You're right, kids can be mean in school. But I think it makes us stronger in our adulthood if we learned something from it.

    Thank you for sharing this.

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  32. Howdy Herman~

    "It's how you feel about yourself that truly matters. The opinions of some mental midget in the hall doesn't carry a whiff of pull when all is said and done."

    HA! Love it....mental midget!

    Thank you, buddy. Thank you for your supportive and kind words.

    And like I shared, I really, really am grateful for what I experienced as a kid because it prepared me for my adulthood. So, it was a good thing.

    Thanks so much for stopping by. Hope you had a wonderful day and a super-duper week!

    X to you and the family!

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  33. Hello Mel~

    First, can I just tell ya how much I LOVE YOU, dear lady?

    Well, I do!

    Ya see, that's the thing I admire, respect, and adore about you.

    You're honest. And you say it like it is.

    Thank you.

    And not only for your FREAKIN' AWESOME comment, but for being in life and teaching me SO MANY things these past four years.

    You teach through your LIFE.

    And for that, I am soooooooo grateful!

    "You're loved--completely, without abandoned--AS IS.
    By G-d......and by me."

    You too, dear lady.

    And I'm damn proud to call you my friend.

    (((((((((((( Mel ))))))))))))))))

    X ya, bunches!

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  34. Amen My Friend,

    "I can’t rely on the rest of the world for approval." this is so true and none of us should have to wait on approval from anyone to be ourselves.

    Yes sir kids can be mean, and sad to say adults can be just as mean if not more so, I never understood this myself but all of us have been on both ends of this scenario I suppose.

    Being accepted by others is a big thing and we all strive to be accepted by our peers, but some of those peers are not worthy of being our friends otherwise they would not make us feel like outcasts simply because we are different.

    I remember when I first started reading your blog and we became friends, I never worried "Wonder if this guy is Gay!!" heck if you read your pages it does kind of jump out, but does this make you subject to being made to feel ashamed of who you are, not in my world, and in my world I am proud to call you Friend.

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  35. You're absolutely right, Ron - approval must come from within. I know it, intellectually, and yet I still struggle with self-approval because (not to put too fine a point on it) I'm fat. I see gorgeous women who are fatter than me, who are sexy and wonderful and vivacious simply because they don't let their weight drag them down, and yet I don't seem to be able to get there ..

    I'm sorry you had such a hard time at school, but it sounds as if you weathered it better than I did, with my sticky-out teeth and my glasses, and the fact that I was one of the poorer kids in a relatively posh school and never had quite the right uniform of quite the right quality. Perhaps my lack of self-approval comes from that time, huh? Whereas you have survived and blossomed - much kudos and respect to you!

    You can see why Johnny Depp is such an inspiration to me, can't you? Started out as poor white 'trailer trash' and look at him now! And he simply doesn't care about the way he looks or what he does. *Le Sigh...!'

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  36. Hey Jimmy~

    "Being accepted by others is a big thing and we all strive to be accepted by our peers, but some of those peers are not worthy of being our friends otherwise they would not make us feel like outcasts simply because we are different."

    Exactly, Jimmy!

    And you're right, adults can sometimes be the same way.

    "I remember when I first started reading your blog and we became friends, I never worried "Wonder if this guy is Gay!!" heck if you read your pages it does kind of jump out, but does this make you subject to being made to feel ashamed of who you are, not in my world, and in my world I am proud to call you Friend."

    Aw...thank you, buddy! And I'm PROUD to call you friend too. It's funny, because as long as I've had this blog and have sometimes shared topics about my being gay, I've never had a negative or derogatory comment from anyone, except one, a few years ago.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Hope youre having a great week!

    X to you and Miss Cindy!

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  37. Good Morning Jay~

    " I know it, intellectually, and yet I still struggle with self-approval..."

    Oh trust me, I still at times struggle with it too (I thinks it's human nature). But, it's at those times I remember what I went through as a child and it sets me right back on track again. Approval must come from within. It's something I have to remind myself of.

    It's ironic that you mentioned 'weight' because I have the opposite challenge - I have to work at keeping weight ON. People are forever telling me, "YOU NEED TO GAIN MORE WEIGHT, YOU'RE TOO SKINNY!" It's taken me years to accept the fact that this is my weight and this is who I am.

    "You can see why Johnny Depp is such an inspiration to me, can't you? Started out as poor white 'trailer trash' and look at him now! And he simply doesn't care about the way he looks or what he does. *Le Sigh...!'"

    ROCK ON, JOHNNY!!!!!!

    Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, my Libra friend!

    And can I just tell ya....... I am soooooooooooo glad I met you. You're such an inspiration!

    Have a great week!

    (((( Jay ))))

    X

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  38. Hola Denise~

    " It took me many years to understand that the only way I could feel good about myself was to find it inside myself."

    You GO, girl!

    And you're so right....it makes us stronger in our adulthood if we learned something from it. And it sounds like you most definitely did!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, Denise. Always enjoy reading your comments!

    Have a MARVI week!

    X

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  39. What a wonderful post. Yet another insight into the soul of another human being. You have been able to turn all that shit into manure that has enhanced your growth. This is truly a unique gift. Perhaps you can pay it forward and help other people who like yourself has had to put up with the unfeeling and unloving individuals who just don't get what life is all about. People who are going through this type of abuse need the help and the support of those who have gone and are still going through the muck we call life.
    You certainly have turned lemons into lemonade. I know that the feeling that you had as a youth still remains buried deep inside you and that you still feel the pangs of this. Yet, you draw strength and love from this. I bow to you my friend and say Namaste. ~ Dave

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  40. A Big Howdy Mr. Dave~

    "You have been able to turn all that shit into manure that has enhanced your growth."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I LOVE how you said that!!!!!

    "People who are going through this type of abuse need the help and the support of those who have gone and are still going through the muck we call life."

    You're right, my friend. And that's really why I wanted to share this post at this time. I keep reading all these stories about kids who are being bullied in school and have even took their own lives because of how deeply it hurt them.

    "I know that the feeling that you had as a youth still remains buried deep inside you and that you still feel the pangs of this. Yet, you draw strength and love from this."

    Yes, you are very perceptive, it does still remain deep inside me and I especially feel it when I read about others going through this same thing. I can STILL remember what that felt like.

    As always, I so appreciate your visits and the insight you share within your comments, Dave.

    Thank you, buddy! Hope you're having a FAB week!

    Namaste and X!

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  41. Amen, Ron! You are so right about approval coming from within. We have all felt "like the outsider" and the ONLY way to get through that is to have self-confidence. Awesome post, my friend. Awesome.

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  42. Ron, do you know about "It Gets Better"? If not, you need to check it out. I think you'd be so amazing as a speaker for kids (not just gay ones) who are dealing with being "different". I know that when I was young, all kids seemed to be bullied or made fun of at one time or another and we dealt with it. Yes, in most cases it would effect our outlook on life short and/or long term but we got past it. With so many children and young adults committing suicide or attempting to because they can't handle the ridcule, bullying, etc. (Is it worse now?) having a site/organizations like "It Gets Better" and "Scarleteen" is so important.

    Your emotion, insight, attitude, etc. could really be an asset. You're quite an incredible human being, bro!

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  43. I never had to undergo the ridicule and abuse to the extent you did although I was ostracized for other reasons. High school is not easy for those who don't "fit in" for whatever reason. I am so glad you were able to rise above the abuse and become the wonderful and compassionate man that you so obviously are today.

    {{{{{{Ron}}}}}}
    Hope you hae a wonderful week my friend!

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  44. Hey Lady Nitbyrd~

    No, I've never heard of "It Gets Better" but it sounds AWESOME! I will definitely check it out online sometime this evening. Thank you SO MUCH for telling me about it!

    "With so many children and young adults committing suicide or attempting to because they can't handle the ridcule, bullying, etc. (Is it worse now?) having a site/organizations like "It Gets Better" and "Scarleteen" is so important."

    You are soooooooooo right! And how sad that is. I was talking to mother on the phone the other night and she said that same thing...it seems to be worse now.

    Thanks a BUNCH for stopping by and sharing on this post, Sis! You've added MUCH!

    And thank you for your sweet words.

    ((((( You )))))

    X ya tons!

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  45. Helloooooooo Meleah~

    "We have all felt "like the outsider" and the ONLY way to get through that is to have self-confidence."

    Amen!

    Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, girl! So appreciate it!

    ((((( Meleah ))))

    X

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  46. Hello Peg~

    You are so right...."High school is not easy for those who don't "fit in" for whatever reason."

    I think we all (in some way or another) have been ostracized. And not only in school, but life in general.

    Like I shared, I'm sincerely grateful for what I experienced as a kid because it taught me something for my adulthood.

    Thank you so very much for stopping by and sharing on this post, dear friend. Muchly appreciated.

    And thank you for your kind words.

    (((( Peg ))))

    Have a FAB week!

    X

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  47. What't the phrase,"what doesn't kill us?" The ignorance of children. I'm sure a lot of those people look back to those days and feel bad.

    And the rest are just still bastards.

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  48. Hey there Chrissy~~

    "What't the phrase,"what doesn't kill us?"

    Yes, you're absolutely correct!

    Will make us stronger.

    "And the rest are just still bastards."

    Bwhahahahahahahahaha! LOVE IT!!!!

    Thanks soooooooo much for stopping by, girl! Hope you and the gang are having a super week!

    X ya's!

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  49. hi ronnie. i love the way you tell the truth. the story opens a different truth for each of us reading. feeling excluded, discounted, fractured. finding inclusion in God's unconditional love. it is strange to me how (some) humans strive to impose judgment on whether God's love (the ultimate inclusion) is available to gay men and women. that saddens me in so many ways. nice essay today - sobering thoughts. and sobering comments from your readers too. sending love, Diane

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  50. Hellooooo Diane~

    "strange to me how (some) humans strive to impose judgment on whether God's love (the ultimate inclusion) is available to gay men and women."

    Yup, strange to me too. Yet, I happen to believe that God's love is available to ALL of us. We seem to be the judges, not God.

    Thank you so very much for stopping by and adding your thoughts and feelings to this post, dear friend. So appreciate it!

    And I also thank you for your supportive and kind words.

    ((((( Diane )))))

    Hope you're having a wonderful week!

    Much X to you and Cristybella!

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  51. Aw, you went thru alot my friend. I am sorry for all of that but I know you know what things are important to hold on to in life and what can be let go. You might not have it ALL figured out (you know, like I do!! hehe) but you meet things with an open mind and a loving heart and that will get you through anything!

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  52. oh drats and darn... I clicked the post button before I gave you big XOXOXO's.
    Have a wonderful day. :)

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  53. Goooood Morning Crystal Chick~

    "You might not have it ALL figured out (you know, like I do!! hehe) but you meet things with an open mind and a loving heart and that will get you through anything!"

    Thank you for your sweet and sensitive words, my friend.

    And like I shared, I'm actually grateful for my experince because it truly taught me a valuable lesson.

    Thanks oodles for stopping by, neighbor. Always grand to see ya! Hope you're having a FAB week.

    XOXOXOXOXO

    P.S. aren't you LOVIN' this cool weather we're having?

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  54. Yes, cool I love! But the weather is actually bothering me lately. The barometric (?) pressure or something is messing with my body. Too much rain. My neck/back has been tense most of the week. Now a hurricane is approaching...

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  55. Hey there again Crystal Chick~

    "The barometric (?) pressure or something is messing with my body."

    I had a close friend in Florida who got the same way whenever the barometric pressure changed. One time, we were out shopping (on a rainy day), and he actually had to run to the restroom to vomit because the barometric pressure had given him a severe migraine!

    Yup....I heard about that hurrican we're suppose to be getting. Geese...reminds me of living in Florida!!

    Take care, my friend.

    ((((( M )))))

    X

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  56. Wow, so many supportive comments! Reading through them is pretty heart-warming Ron. Regardless of what you went through, you have apparently arrived at a pretty good spot in your life. People like you & what's NOT to like?! It can be difficult to go through adversity and be able to understand that it can bring out a better person on the other end. You seemed to have a glimmer of that, even as a young man though. That is amazing.

    While I did not recognize any real taunting or bullying as a child, I think it was because I carried myself outside of that social construct. I always had my head in a book & concentrated on learning. While I didn't have many friends in primary school, I began to socially flourish in highschool. By that time though, I had enough of an idea of who I was as an individual to be confidant enough to not have to follow the crowd. Nobody teased me for being different, because I could just as easily walk away from them all. I also became good friends with all the other misfits in my grade, so we stuck together as a big disjointed group that celebrated our differences and hence strengths for being different. Just as I celebrate your strengths for being you too. You are an amazing man Ron & an inspiration to me.
    Thank you
    Katherine

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  57. Hello again Katherine~

    Oh, I know...hasn't everyone's comments been wonderful? I'm truly blessed with so many AWESOME and SENSITIVE blogging friends!

    "It can be difficult to go through adversity and be able to understand that it can bring out a better person on the other end."

    Yes, it can. And I've been reading so many stories lately about kids who have been bullied in school and have taken their own lives because of the seclusion and hurt they felt. And that is so sad to me. I was fortunate to have a very stubborn personality that refused to give in to it.

    "While I didn't have many friends in primary school, I began to socially flourish in highschool. By that time though, I had enough of an idea of who I was as an individual to be confidant enough to not have to follow the crowd."

    Meeeee too! Something changed within me in high school (during my senior year), where I finally 'came into my own self.'

    And like you, I became good friends with the other misfits (the acting/drama crowd) where we supported each other. My senior year was without a doubt the best year of my school life. It truly changed me.

    I can't thank you enough for stopping by and sharing your supportive and loving words on this post, my friend.

    You're inspiration to me too!

    BIG time!

    Have a wonderful weekend!

    (((( Katherine )))))

    X

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  58. You are such an inspiration. You are so right. We have to find you're worth from inside, not from other people or things. It's a tough lesson to learn but one that's so worthwhile.

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  59. Hiya Jen~

    "It's a tough lesson to learn but one that's so worthwhile."

    You said it!

    "We have to find you're worth from inside, not from other people or things."

    Ditto!

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, my friend! Muchly appreciated!

    Have a super Sunday!

    X

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