Weight, Age, And Society


Alert: No humor today, just a very passionate VENT.

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Perhaps it’s because when I was a kid, I was always told I was too skinny and needed to gain weight that I feel a bit verbose when it comes to society judging those who are heavy because they automatically assume weight gain is always about how much FOOD someone puts in their mouth, or that someone is not exercising enough.

Excuse me, but has it ever occurred to society that some people are heavy due to possible glandular imbalances, psychological challenges, or that it’s the result of genetics?

For instance, I could eat and drink anything I wanted (and as much as I wanted), yet it still wouldn’t affect my weight.

Why? Because of my high metabolism. It’s been that way my whole life.

And even being a lightweight person, I have never looked upon heavier people as unattractive. Never.

In my opinion, many people look great with more meat on their bones. It naturally suits them.

And what really pisses me off about weight judgment is that it’s much more strictly enforced upon women.

And it’s the same when it comes to aging.

Women are much more highly criticized when it comes to weight and age.

And trust me on that because I was a professional actor for many years, and a licensed cosmetologist. Therefore, I KNOW what women go through.

Just look at all the actresses versus actors whose careers are cut short because they got to an age where Hollywood said, “You’re too old.”

And also, look at how many of these actresses are having cosmetic surgery; trying desperately to compete with younger actresses.

Tell me, why is it that men age gracefully, yet women are sent out to pasture when they reach 40?

To my eyes, women age just as gracefully as men do.

Example: actress, Helen Mirren.

What an attractive, confident, and sexy lady she is. And she’s certainly not young, wrinkle-free, nor model thin. She’s one of those rare and fortunate women in the movie industry that has been able to keep working as she ripens.

Allow me to say that I do take care of myself when it comes to my skin, and try not to go overboard with excessive food. However, I don’t do this with the intention of looking like I did when I was 25 years old. I do this because I want to feel and look good for the exact age I am….56.

There is only so much a person can do (outside of surgery) that will assist in helping them look good as they age. The rest is up to genes and lifestyle.

If someone wants to lose weight because of health issues, I can certainly understand their intention. Yet, to lose weight because someone feels that society will accept them more, or that they’ll be happier because they’re thin is sad to me.

Last week, I was strolling through Barnes & Noble and came across these books. And can I just tell you how much they ANNOYED me because it only goes to show how society brainwashes women into feeling comparative to other women. And what totally FLOORS me about these books is that they’re written by other women.

*Please notice the TITLES…..






Well, I guess if women are not YOUNG or THIN, then they better read these books, hu?

No, these books are utter RUBBISH.

These books send out subliminal messages; reinforcing women that there’s something WRONG with them because they’re not young and thin.

I’m certainly not qualified as a psychologist to be handing out advice to other people, but I do have a strong opinion when it comes to self-image.

My opinion is to STOP reading books like these (which only make you feel less about yourself), and start reading books that teach you how to first ACCEPT yourself for who you are.

And STOP reading glamour magazines with photos of supermodels in them because they’re not REAL. And besides, what makes you think their lives are any happier than yours?

To reiterate, if someone is trying to lose weight for health issues, I totally understand and applaude them. However, if someone is trying to lose weight because they assume they’ll be more attractive to society’s ludicrous standards, then I say….

….look into a mirror, long and gently, and begin seeing YOU.

And I bet, in time, you’ll begin to see just how unique and faaaaaaaaabulous you are.

And then, if you should decide to lose weight….it’ll be for the right reason.

Your well-being.

Remember….you may not be able to alter the way society views YOU. But you can certainly alter the way you view YOURSELF.


Have a spectacular weekend everyone!


X

61 comments

  1. Can I get an AMEN and a HALLELUJAH!
    Thank YOU, Ron. For all of that. As someone who's had weight issues since about 6th grade I can totally relate. All thru high school, while I wasn't seriously overweight, I was a little heavier than many of the other girls. I was self-conscious about it but thank god I had some personality, a sense of humor, and made friends easily because those things took the edge off.
    Pregnancies, hormones, metabolism, family history, and many passionate love affairs with long, hard, delicious french baguettes have all contributed to the generous figure I have now. ;)
    I should try to lose some weight again because I am at my heaviest and have developed some cholesterol issues in the past year. I don't want that to get worse so you are absolutely right about making changes for health reasons but I am not concerned at all what society thinks. I look at certain ads or commercials and just roll my eyes. I see the bullshit of it all. It's a shame that many woman, and unfortunately alot of really young girls, are getting the wrong messages. Hey, it's certainly fine to want to feel and look good but it does have to come from within, like you said for the right reasons, not from trying to copy what magazines and models are doing.
    I love that last photo!! While organizing my craft room recently I came across a card I bought at the Phila. Museum of Art of 'The Bathers' by Renoir. It's one of my favorite paintings. And a couple of those ladies do have some nice curves! I actually sat it on the shelf next to my desk so I can see it often.

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  2. Agreed! Those books are RUBBISH!!!! It is aggravating!!! Helen Mirren looks amazing!!! As does Meryl Streep!!! Aging gracefully. Nothing wrong with a few wrinkles...it adds character. That's what I keep telling myself at the tender age of 53!!

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  3. Those books ARE crap, Ron! I wish people would stop wasting their money on the books, the creams that don't work (don't get me started on stretch mark products), the 'diet' drinks/foods, etc. If you want to lose weight and look better, just eat right, get some exercise daily, and get a decent night's sleep! People tend to look for a quick fix that doesn't exist!

    I don't know if you've experienced 'reverse discrimination' in this area, but I can't tell you how annoying it is to me when people comment on my body......'You are so skinny!' and 'Is that all you're going to eat?' Um, I'm eating a NORMAL portion size. It's amazing how people think it's ok to comment on ANYONE'S body, big or small.

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  4. I was sparring at Taekwondo and fractured my toe and shifted one of my bones just slightly. I can walk, but too much pressure like running, and it hurts a lot. So I've put on 6kgs since then. :) and i have to say, i'm liking what i see now. When i look in the mirror, my body actually looks much happier :D and I've actually stopped calling myself fat. Which is ironic, cause i put on weight from the thinness. and it took the extra 6kgs to make me stop annoying my friends that i was fat. lol.

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  5. Great post, Ron!

    Sage and I were having thie exact discussion last night. It is so sad that society is responsible for giving women low self esteem and then fault them for being insecure in relationships.

    I am so glad that my self worth isnt based on such superficial opinions. I know that I am not every man's dream. But the beauty in it is that automatically weeds out the people unworthy of me.

    Sure, I would love to look like a supermodel. The fact is that I would rather enjoy the things that life has to offer than to deprive myself of that extra rare ribeye steak and baked potato.

    I love me like I am.

    And I love you just the way you are too!

    Have a wonderful weekend.

    XOXO

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  6. Good morning Jeanne~

    "Agreed! Those books are RUBBISH!!!! It is aggravating!!!"

    Yup! I saw these books last week in B&N and it annoyed me so much that I just had to post about it. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!#!*

    " Helen Mirren looks amazing!!! As does Meryl Streep!!! Aging gracefully. Nothing wrong with a few wrinkles...it adds character. That's what I keep telling myself at the tender age of 53!!"

    AMEN!! Nothing wrong with a few wrinkles...it adds character. Besides, I actually think wrinkles are sexy!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, dear lady! Have an awesome weekend!

    X

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  7. Hear Hear Ron! I agree with everything you say. I have been heavy my whole life and am convinced it is genetic, however I do have to watch what I eat now having been diagnosed with diabetes and will admit that I feel better when I am lighter. According to all the charts I should weigh about 9st 7lbs but weighing in at 10st 7lbs everyone said I looked too thin and ill! At the moment I am trying to lose weight to get to what I believe is my ideal weight, 11 st, which will help my diabetes and I will feel more comfortable. Too much pressure is put on women to be stick thin.

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  8. 'And STOP reading glamour magazines with photos of supermodels in them because they’re not REAL. And besides, what makes you think their lives are any happier than yours?'

    Absolutely right, Ron. Women are so influenced by the media and fashion industry. It has always been the case but it seems to have become more predominant.

    The weight issue is or can be a health problem. That's why governments are concerned. Unfortunately both men and women have grown larger in the last few years, to the point where they are now referred to as obese. I don't know why it is, whether it's something in the food we buy and eat, or whether our genes have drastically altered. Nobody outside the trade knows what goes into food but we know that additives and preservatives are included. Are they responsible for the extra weight or the change in genes? Or do we sit in front of the computer for too long instead of getting out and exercising?
    What bothers me most is not the adult section of the human race but the young children. Adults can dictate their own lifestyle, young children can't.

    I have yo-yo weight difficulties but I do feel better when I'm a tad lighter. Better within myself, I mean.

    Shutting up now, sorry to have gone on so much. The weekend looms, have a great one.

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  9. Hey there Mary~

    Thank you SO MUCH for sharing yourself in your comment, you've added MUCH to what I'm trying to say with this post.

    " I look at certain ads or commercials and just roll my eyes. I see the bullshit of it all."

    You're right....it is bullshit!

    "Pregnancies, hormones, metabolism, family history..."

    See, that's the thing with women's bodies versus men's bodies...women's bodies are much more complicated (with pregnancies and hormones), therefore, they're ability to lose weight can be much more challenging.

    "It's a shame that many woman, and unfortunately alot of really young girls, are getting the wrong messages. Hey, it's certainly fine to want to feel and look good but it does have to come from within, like you said for the right reasons, not from trying to copy what magazines and models are doing."

    EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!! This issue is affecting younger girls; giving them the wrong message before they even have the chance to embrace their individuality. It sets younger girls up for failure if they cannot attain the images they see of models in magazines.

    "I love that last photo. While organizing my craft room recently I came across a card I bought at the Phila. Museum of Art of 'The Bathers' by Renoir. It's one of my favorite paintings. And a couple of those ladies do have some nice curves!"

    Thank you. Isn't that a gorgeous photo? I wanted to use images that depicted normal and natural looking women. And yes, I love the curves. To me, it's beautiful!

    Thanks again for stopping by and sharing on this post, neighbor. You rock!

    Have a super weekend......X

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  10. Hey there Diane~

    " It is so sad that society is responsible for giving women low self esteem and then fault them for being insecure in relationships."

    *thumbs up*

    Yes! And thank you SO MUCH for sharing that because it's sooooo true!

    "I am so glad that my self worth isnt based on such superficial opinions. I know that I am not every man's dream. But the beauty in it is that automatically weeds out the people unworthy of me."

    *three cheers*

    I LOVE HOW YOU SAID THAT!!!!

    "Sure, I would love to look like a supermodel. The fact is that I would rather enjoy the things that life has to offer than to deprive myself of that extra rare ribeye steak and baked potato."

    That's exactly why I love the European lifestyle. They don't deprive themselves of food, but rather eat with PASSION and ENJOYMENT. And what's ironic about it is that they're usually much more healthier than many Americans because they're not constantly mentally berating themselves with guilt and false images.

    "I love me like I am. "

    You GO, girl! And I love you like you are too. I've shared with you many times on your blog, I think you're such a beautiful lady!

    Thanks so much for stopping by today. Have a wonderful weekend!

    XOXO

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  11. Hey there Bijoux~

    "If you want to lose weight and look better, just eat right, get some exercise daily, and get a decent night's sleep! People tend to look for a quick fix that doesn't exist!"

    BRA-VA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    My sentiments exactly!

    "(don't get me started on stretch mark products), the 'diet' drinks/foods, etc. "

    Yes, I know of the stretch mark products you speak of and they DON'T work! And to me, diet drinks are a hell of a lot more unhealthy to drink because of all the artificial CRAP that's in them.

    "I can't tell you how annoying it is to me when people comment on my body......'You are so skinny!' and 'Is that all you're going to eat?' Um, I'm eating a NORMAL portion size. It's amazing how people think it's ok to comment on ANYONE'S body, big or small."

    Yes, I still get the same thing myself with being a thinner person. People will often tell me I look too thin. I've gotten to the point now were I just agree and say THANK YOU - HA!

    Thanks oodles for stopping by and sharing on this post, my friend. Muchly appreciated and enjoyed.

    Have a glorious weekend........X

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  12. Greetings Joanna~

    Thank you for sharing yourself on this post.

    "So I've put on 6kgs since then. :) and i have to say, i'm liking what i see now. When i look in the mirror, my body actually looks much happier :D and I've actually stopped calling myself fat."

    I ADORE how you said that....."my body actually looks much happier."

    You GO, girl!

    And I'm not at all surprised you said that because I'm a firm believer that a persons body will actually reflect when it's happily content. It smiles!

    Again, thank you for stopping by and sharing on this post. You've added MUCH!

    Enjoy your weekend!

    X

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  13. Good morning Akelamalu~

    Thank you!

    And what you shared in your comment is exactly what I mean. To lose weight for better health is an important reason, and I applaud you for your dedication.

    "Too much pressure is put on women to be stick thin."

    Yup! And to look young too.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, m'dear! You've added MUCH!

    Have a lovely weekend.......X

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  14. Good morning Valerie~

    "Shutting up now, sorry to have gone on so much."

    No...not at all! In fact, you brought up some EXCELLENT points in your comment.

    " Nobody outside the trade knows what goes into food but we know that additives and preservatives are included. Are they responsible for the extra weight or the change in genes? Or do we sit in front of the computer for too long instead of getting out and exercising?"

    True, there are so many additives and preservatives in food nowadays, that that may have something to do with weight issues too. And not only weight issues, but overall physical issues.

    "I have yo-yo weight difficulties but I do feel better when I'm a tad lighter. Better within myself, I mean."

    Which is exactly my point. To know you feel better at a certain weight is wonderful. However, it's those people who are trying to lose weight in order to attain an unattainable image in a magazine that I feel is unhealthy and self-defeating.

    "What bothers me most is not the adult section of the human race but the young children. Adults can dictate their own lifestyle, young children can't."

    GREAT point! And you're right.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, dear lady. I enjoyed every single word of it!

    Have a terrific weekend.......X

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  15. Hey Ronnie,
    I have just been out in the "twilight zone" trying to comment. I had to commenting box open up for whatever reason... Lucky that I am stubborn to crack that- HA!
    Well my dear, I am feeling your great sensitivity to women show up in your post. I think that all the gals here love ya for that!! mwah!!
    Those awful books show me that as much as I love my country, her values have not budged since when I grew from a teen into a woman. Still the same dumb preoccupations that I think all women have lost themselves with growing up. Slimmer,firmer,lighter,and of couse, no wrinkle-free! How is that possible for a society not to have evolved??

    I would like to see books for women on how to be better on the inside. It is logical that if you build a home, you need a solid foundation. Inner beauty and values.
    I also try and remember as I approach the 5-0 mark that wrinkles come because I have enjoyed my life and the laughter has left marks!
    Happy weekend, Ronnie! xo

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  16. {{{{{{{RON}}}}}}}}}
    Standing on my soapbox clapping like a fool! I SO applaud this post. I (being a larger woman) can testify that it is EXACTLY how you say. Unfortunately to top the fact that people assume that because you're heavy that you're lazy, they also automatically assume that you are STUPID. That galls me more than anything. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for this post.

    Love you dear friend!

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  17. Hey there Barbara~

    "I have just been out in the "twilight zone" trying to comment. I had to commenting box open up for whatever reason... Lucky that I am stubborn to crack that- HA!"

    So sorry about that :) It seems that Disqus is going through some sort of upgrade which sometimes causes this system to act weird. Especially with Internet Explorer. Anyway, thanks for your stubbornness and cracking it open!

    "Those awful books show me that as much as I love my country, her values have not budged since when I grew from a teen into a woman. Still the same dumb preoccupations that I think all women have lost themselves with growing up. Slimmer,firmer,lighter,and of couse, no wrinkle-free! How is that possible for a society not to have evolved??"

    You're absolutely correct. We (here in the U.S.) are so concerned about the exterior, that we often forget about the INterior. It always amazes me how Europeans have such a totally different outlook on weight and aging. They eat what they want, drink what they want, and they're STILL more healthier and happier than most of us here in the U.S. because they're less concerned with attaining an IMAGE.

    "I would like to see books for women on how to be better on the inside. It is logical that if you build a home, you need a solid foundation. Inner beauty and values."

    AMEN! And I love how you compared it to a home; needing a solid foundation. That was brilliant, Barb!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. And thanks again for your persistence in leaving a comment.

    (((( You )))))

    Happy weekend......XOXO

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  18. ...Amen that! :o)

    ...This once again hits the nail clear on the head. Perfectly said Ron. I have an elderly Uncle who has two daughters who are both overweight. Both are beautiful, successful in their careers, in their marriages and as mothers and yet my Uncle will always bring up about their weight. If there is a family photo of them taken he mentions, "look how big my girls are" or "I wish my daughters were thinner" instead of saying, "she just received a promotion" or "she is such a good Mother to her kids"...it saddens me. I've gotten to where anymore I chime in when he does this and say to him about all the good things they have accomplished so far in their lives. That is what is important.

    ...I think this weight issue will be with us for eternity. I don't know what time it was that women with meat on their bones were revered and sought after and their thin counterparts were frowned upon as sickly but I think we need to get back into that mindset again.

    ...LOVE the first photo. Beautiful.

    ...Have a most wonderful weekend my friend!

    ...x's & o's :o)

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  19. ...Amen that! :o)

    ...This once again hits the nail clear on the head. Perfectly said Ron. I have an elderly Uncle who has two daughters who are both overweight. Both are beautiful, successful in their careers, in their marriages and as mothers and yet my Uncle will always bring up about their weight. If there is a family photo of them taken he mentions, "look how big my girls are" or "I wish my daughters were thinner" instead of saying, "she just received a promotion" or "she is such a good Mother to her kids"...it saddens me. I've gotten to where anymore I chime in when he does this and say to him about all the good things they have accomplished so far in their lives. That is what is important.

    ...I think this weight issue will be with us for eternity. I don't know what time it was that women with meat on their bones were revered and sought after and their thin counterparts were frowned upon as sickly but I think we need to get back into that mindset again.

    ...LOVE the first photo. Beautiful.

    ...Have a most wonderful weekend my friend!

    ...x's & o's :o)

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  20. Hellooooooooooooooo Peg~

    You are so welcome, dear friend. After I saw these books in Barnes & Noble last week it annoyed me SO MUCH, that I actually went back the next day and took photographs of them because I felt like I needed to BLOG about it. OMG...I PISSED!

    "Unfortunately to top the fact that people assume that because you're heavy that you're lazy, they also automatically assume that you are STUPID. That galls me more than anything."

    Yes, you're absolutely right about that because I've actually heard some people say those exact same things. I once had someone I work with comment (rudely) on a customers weight. Well, can I just tell you....I RIPPED him a new ASSHOLE! HA!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, dear friend.

    (((( You ))))

    X ya too!

    Have a super weekend!!!!!!!

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  21. Good Morning TJ~

    Thank you soooo much for sharing the story about your Uncle on this post, because it's a PRIME example of how people inflict their own ludicrous physical standards on others. I too was told by several members of my own family that I was too skinny as a child, and needed to gain weight.

    "..I think this weight issue will be with us for eternity. I don't know what time it was that women with meat on their bones were revered and sought after and their thin counterparts were frowned upon as sickly but I think we need to get back into that mindset again'

    A-MEN!!!!!!!!! And you're right...I think this weight (and age) issue will be with us for eternity. That's why I think it's so important for people to detach themselves from books such as these, and also glamour magazines. They only give women low self-esteem.

    "..LOVE the first photo. Beautiful."

    Thanks, me too. I purposely chose images of beautiful women with 'natural' weight on them. And quite frankly, I think it's attractive.

    Thanks oodles for stopping by, dear lady. Always a delight to see you here.

    Have a most wonderful weekend!

    (((( TJ )))

    X's & O's

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  22. I've been in love with a few fatties in my day. That stuff has never bothered me.

    OK, that was meant to be tongue in cheek! But is true. I've always been one of those guys more drawn to what is on the inside of a woman rather than the outside. Which is not to say I don't appreciate beauty...but it's not even close to being the most important thing about a person!

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  23. hmmm, I googled her (Charla Krupp, the author of two of the books pictured). She does seem to have a sound history in the journalism-fashion industry and there are indeed plenty of people who want to read and purchase her books. I hear what you're saying, though Ron. The titles of the books give an overwhelmingly negative impression.

    All I can say is that I can typically use all the fashion advice I can get, but I have not purchased these books. I don't have access to personal stylists like the fabulous Helen Mirren or Diane Keaton. So any tips I can get about cosmetics, fashion or hairstyle to help me age as gracefully as these two icons I admire so much would be welcome.

    While I'm speaking for only myself, I suspect I'm not alone here--- honestly, I developed a gap in my fashion sense after my 30s. Just got busy with my job and life and didn't have the money or energy to shop for clothing like I once did. I don't keep up with changes in fashion and don't realize how easy it could be to improve my look by making simple adjustments to my existing wardrobe.

    From the other side of the coin, I can see where Charla's books might be a helpful resource for me or other people like me.

    Again, I fully appreciate and concur with your point of view about the harsh manner in which our society judges beauty.

    Thanks for your commentary today - good points. It looks like I might be all alone on the other side of this coin, judging from your commenters. Oh well. I'll have to read down to see what Susu has to say... xoxo, Diane

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  24. Howdy Mark~

    LOVE what shared here....

    "I've always been one of those guys more drawn to what is on the inside of a woman rather than the outside. Which is not to say I don't appreciate beauty...but it's not even close to being the most important thing about a person!"

    I totally agree! And too have been attracted (several times) to more full-figured people. I've never seen weight as something unattractive.

    Thanks for stopping by, buddy. And thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings on this post.

    Have a SUPER weekend!

    X

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  25. Brilliant post, Ron! And what a great ending: "You may not be able to alter the way society views YOU. But you can certainly alter the way you view YOURSELF." Those words should be etched in marble and displayed in public for the entire world to see! I often hear my female friends and family members putting themselves down because of their weight or age and it really saddens me. You're so right. It's unfair and it's just plain wrong! Thanks for writing this and have a great weekend, buddy!

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  26. Yay, Ron! What a fantastic "vent" today. I'm trying to ignore society and just age gracefully...aging or dying....personally, I'd like to live a bit longer!

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  27. Hellooooooooooo Diane~

    Thank you for your FULL comment!!!!

    "I hear what you're saying, though Ron. The titles of the books give an overwhelmingly negative impression."

    Yes, that's my WHOLE point. Charla might have a very sound history in the journalism-industry, however, her choice of titles are the PITS! They totally give a negative connotation - How Never To Look Fat Again? How Not To Look Old??? Those titles are just plan negative and rude.

    It's one thing to write books to help women look good on the outside, however it's a totally different thing to insinuate that women who are heavier and/or older, is something negative.

    That's my point. And that's what these books are doing.

    "Thanks for your commentary today - good points. It looks like I might be all alone on the other side of this coin, judging from your commenters."

    You totally have the right to share your own opinion on this topic, my friend. And thank you for doing so, because we all see things differently.

    Thanks so much for stopping by today, girl! Always enjoyed!

    Have a lovely weekend!

    X to you and Cristybella!

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  28. Hey there SuziCate~

    "I'm trying to ignore society and just age gracefully...aging or dying....personally, I'd like to live a bit longer!"

    Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! You GO, girl! That's the most healthiest way to age!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Always a delight to see you!

    Have a great weekend!

    X

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  29. Hey there Rob~

    First, I love your new avatar. How cool!!!!

    " I often hear my female friends and family members putting themselves down because of their weight or age and it really saddens me. You're so right. It's unfair and it's just plain wrong!"

    Yes, it is just plain wrong. And it TOTALLY saddens me too. Perhaps if we embraced who we are (just as we are) the changes we make would come from changes for our well-being. Not just because of weight or age.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, buddy! ALWAYS enjoy your comments!

    Have a fantabulous weekend!

    X

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  30. What if you traveled up to Canada so that we could get the magnificent SusuRon Show on its way?

    The theme could very well be along the exquisite lines of this very post of yours. Loving ourselves the way we are today. To begin with. Finding that unique and priceless beauty in each and every one of us. The show could end at everyone getting up and dancing their soul, past frustrations and currents joys out.

    This is such an important issue! I think that all mental challenges start with how we feel in our earthy home, our bodies. The way we feel about our lives and personalities. How do we talk to ourselves? With respect or disgust?

    I have been angry at myself for the things I have done to my body and the things I have missed out on. I have been angry at what life gave me as in genetics. But that is good for nothing. Because it doesn't change a thing!

    I admit having hated (and still carrying on more often than I should) my pale skin, my wobbly eyes, my softly covered belly, chin that has a tendency to gather surface when I gain weight, the fact that I am afraid of blushing... yet these very things are what make me. They mould of me a human like person, with weaknesses and frail characteristics that are unique. All fashion folks want to be unique and remembered - so why can't I really and truly embrace what is naturally and effortlessly unique in me?

    Keep enjoying your free month, dear dear Ron!

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  31. Bonjour Susu~

    "The theme could very well be along the exquisite lines of this very post of yours. Loving ourselves the way we are today. To begin with. Finding that unique and priceless beauty in each and every one of us. The show could end at everyone getting up and dancing their soul, past frustrations and currents joys out."

    OMG....I would LOVE THAT!!!!!!!!!!! And what a GREAT theme!!!!! We could start in Canada and then move over the U.S.

    "This is such an important issue! I think that all mental challenges start with how we feel in our earthy home, our bodies. The way we feel about our lives and personalities. How do we talk to ourselves? With respect or disgust.'

    LOVE how you shared that! You hit the nail on the head, Susu! It's all about how we SEE and SPEAK to ourselves. And how comfortable we feel in our own skin.

    Also, what you share about being angry at what life gave you as in genetics, is a frustration I too at one time felt. I always wanted to be heavier and bigger, but alas, I'm thin and lightly built. And I always thought that my eyebrows were too thick, my nose too wide, my hair too wavy. However, when I was in my early 30's I began to learn (with much struggling) how to embrace myself. I stopped reading magazines with photos in them of bodies that I tried to emulate, but never could. I stopped comparing myself to other people. Finally, after a looooong time, I began to see what a blessing it was to have MY body because it was healthy and strong. And really, isn't that what matters? Good health.

    "... yet these very things are what make me. They mould of me a human like person, with weaknesses and frail characteristics that are unique."

    You said it! And that's what I meant by looking at ourselves in a mirror, long and gently, and begin seeing US. For we are each unique!

    It can be tough to embrace ourselves, for sure, but it IS possible.

    Thanks soooooooo much for stopping by and sharing yourself on this post, beautiful lady. LOVED your comment. You should really consider writing a book about your life's journey - I bet you would help so many people. You express yourself very well.

    Have a maaaaavalous weekend!

    Ciao......X

    P.S. Thanks again for sharing so open and honestly. Muchly respected and appreciated.

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  32. Brilliant post, Ron. Seriously brilliant. This Charla Krupp woman has a lot to answer for, huh? Put her alongside all the 'Equal Rights' proponents and give them ALL a tongue lashing.

    Equal rights? Certainly, because having been made to treat women equally, many people go the other way and let doors slam in everyone's face, and the disabled and pregnant can stand on trains the whole way from London to Edinburgh for all anyone seems to care. Also, along with that whole society swing from protecting women to 'equality', we have an explosion of crimes committed against women and the weaker members of society. If everyone is 'equal', why bother giving anyone any leeway? Oh, sorry, I forgot, except the criminal, the drug addicts and the criminals themselves, of course. For them we must be understanding.

    IMHO women and men are not equal, we are different and we're damned well meant to be! I don't want there to be abuse or discrimination against women (though the 'equality' movement hasn't actually stopped either) but there are times when men and women can and should be treated differently.

    Ooops, sorry, a small vent of my own.

    Anyway.

    Helen Mirren is AMAZING! I love her - you're right on the money in what you say about her!

    And this bit:

    "Remember….you may not be able to alter the way society views YOU. But you can certainly alter the way you view YOURSELF."

    SO VERY TRUE!

    Nicely done, Ron!

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  33. Ron,
    A very poinent post. I have suffered the other end of the weight spectrum all my life. Some times all I have to is drive by a billboard that displays food and I put on 12 lbs. At an earlier stage in my journey this bothered thd hell out of me. I tried every diet under the sun to loose weight. I would loose then put it all back on. Then I came to the discovery that if I feel healthy and my health numbers are in line then screw the good opinions of others. I just fill my self up with self love and keep cramming the love into my heartspace. Because when you are all filled with love then that is all you have to give away. And when you give your love away you always, always get it back and more. So now when I am with and individual I do not look at the garage that car is parked in I look at the car that is the soul of the person and it is always beautiful. I look into the eyes of the person who is looking at me and I see who that person really is. I don't care if they have the weight of a cruise ship or the figure of a twig. As long as they have love and love for themselves then they have it all.
    Now I am going to cover my deck with my pants ~ It may rain tonight.
    Talk to you later stringbean. Dave

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  34. This is a subject I rant about all the time.

    Brian Ferry (British pop singer) has just married a woman 30 years his junior (he is 65) and most people will pat him on the back and say "Good for you", yet change that around to a 65 year old woman and what do we hear? Words like "Disgusting" and "Cradle snatching". It always has been (and still is) a man's world, upheld by the male dominated media.

    I suppose we could say that it's the fault of the women who allow this brain washing to take place, but it's never that simple. Especially when they fill kids magazines with the same air-brushed photos of perfect, skinny bodies. Then we have the greed factor that comes in to play. Women making money off of the backs of other 'belittled and troubled' women, by writing books on how to look like the models and making weight loss videos!

    What was wrong with all the glamourous women of the 50's and 60's, like Sophia Loren, Elizabeth Taylor, to name just two? Women who had a shapely figure. They would be considered overweight by today's standards - unbelievable!

    I'd better stop, but I could go on forever on this subject.

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  35. Hellooooooooooo Jay~

    "Ooops, sorry, a small vent of my own."

    Hey, no apologies, great VENT. I soooooooooo enjoyed reading your comment.

    The thing that really bothers me about these books are the negative connotations in the titles. The titles tell me exactly where the book is coming from, therefore they're not something I would ever want to read.

    I'm all for books that help women looking for advice on skincare, makeup, health. But not books that start off with, "How To Never Look Fat Again."

    I agree, men and women ARE different, and that's something that should be celebrated and enjoyed. I like seeing the differences in men and women, however I feel that we should be treated with equal respect when it comes to our 'value' as we age.

    "Helen Mirren is AMAZING! I love her - you're right on the money in what you say about her!"

    Isn't she faaaaaaaaaabulous??? I've seen her interviewed a couple of times and I LOVE her directness and honesty. I love watch her onscreen. And I'm so happy that she's been able to sustain her brilliant career as she ripens.

    Thanks so much for stopping by today and sharing on this post, my friend. Muchly enjoyed and appreciated.

    Have a grrrrrreat weekend........X

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  36. Howdy Dave~

    So FAB to see ya, buddy!!!!!!!

    LOVED your comment! Especially this part....

    "I would loose then put it all back on. Then I came to the discovery that if I feel healthy and my health numbers are in line then screw the good opinions of others. I just fill my self up with self love and keep cramming the love into my heartspace........"

    You GO, boy!!!!! And that's what I mean, if a person feels healthy and has healthy numbers, yet still can't lose weight (for whatever reason), then screw the opinions of others and LOVE yourself just as you are.

    "So now when I am with and individual I do not look at the garage that car is parked in I look at the car that is the soul of the person and it is always beautiful. I look into the eyes of the person who is looking at me and I see who that person really is."

    OMG....I freakin' LOVE how you said that! I may have to print that out, so I can read it every day. GREAT analogy, Dave!

    "As long as they have love and love for themselves then they have it all."

    AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Thanks sooooooooooooooo much for stopping by and sharing your insight, humor, and love, my friend. MUCHLY enjoyed and appreciated!

    Have a SUPA' weekend, buddy!

    X,
    The String Bean

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  37. Hey there Babs~

    "...., yet change that around to a 65 year old woman and what do we hear? Words like "Disgusting" and "Cradle snatching".

    Amen and Alleluia! You said it, girl! You are sooooooooooooooooooooooooo right on about that!

    The old double standard!

    And your second paragraph is also right on!

    "....but it's never that simple. Especially when they fill kids magazines with the same air-brushed photos of perfect, skinny bodies. Then we have the greed factor that comes in to play. Women making money off of the backs of other 'belittled and troubled' women, by writing books on how to look like the models and making weight loss videos!"

    *three LOUD cheers*

    And books such as these only perpetuate that cycle.

    I agree...what's wrong with all the glamorous women of the 50's and 60's like Sophia Loren and Elizabeth Taylor? To me, the are/were so voluptuous and sexy women!

    "They would be considered overweight by today's standards - unbelievable!"

    THANK. YOU.!

    LOVED your comment, Babs! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings on this post. Muchly enjoyed and appreciated!

    Have a great weekend.

    X

    P.S. please say Hi to Mo for me!

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  38. the paintings you chose are beautiful
    there was a time when fuller women were worshipped

    thanks for this perspective
    as someone who has always been the tallest girl in school
    the biggest girl in the bridal party
    the one whose ass would devour a thong
    I have often felt as though full body surgery would be the only answer

    now I'm older and wiser and I basically say screw you world

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  39. Good morning Lady Dianne~

    Thank you. Aren't the photos of the paintings beautiful? And you're right...there was a time when fuller women were worshipped.

    "now I'm older and wiser and I basically say screw you world"

    Good. For. You.!!!!!!!!!!

    (((( You ))))

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, dear lady. Hope you're having a great weekend. Hey, aren't you LOVIN' this COLD weather???? I am. In fact, I'm taking a little day trip out to burbs this afternoon to get some photos. Yipeeeeeeeee!

    X to you and the gang!

    P.S. Hope Siren and Isadora are doing well.

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  40. Yes - absolutely! Equal respect for both men and women is necessary for a balanced society. Sadly, we don't seem to have that right now. We even have a split between levels of respect for career women and stay-at-home women - whether for reasons of childcare or adult dependent care or whatever. And most sadly of all, very little respect is given to the elderly these days.

    I actually think Helen Mirren is one of the most beautiful women alive. She has grown more beautiful with age, too.

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  41. Hey Jay~

    Yes, it's the same thing here on all that mentioned as far as equal respect.

    "And most sadly of all, very little respect is given to the elderly these days."

    THANK YOU! I agree. That's what I LOVED about living in Japan - they HONOR their elderly with the utmost respect - and cherish them as highly valuable citizens in their country. That's something WE need to learn in this country.

    "I actually think Helen Mirren is one of the most beautiful women alive. She has grown more beautiful with age, too."

    Ditto! She has grown more beautiful with age.

    Thanks so much for stopping back, my friend. Hope you're enjoying a great weekend......X

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  42. Yay you! Tell it like it is. As an old(er) woman my heart aches for the young women and girls who buy into the media crap. Be who you are--be healthy-- but be who you are.

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  43. Greetings Patricia~

    Welcome! Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing a comment. So nice to meet you!

    WOW! I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE what you shared....

    " Be who you are--be healthy-- but be who you are."

    Woot! Woot! Woot! You GO, girl!

    And yes, you're right...the media crap is such CRAP.

    Again, thank you for stopping by. Hope you're enjoying a wonderful weekend! Please stop by whenever you wish. You're always welcomed.

    X

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  44. I've read here twice and it's a 'on one hand/on the other hand' deal for me. Maybe I see both sides? Honestly, it's 'I've lived both sides'. As an over-sized adolescent, I spent a whole lot of time trying to get rid of myself (literally and figuratively), coveting anything that didn't look like me. And growing up without a teaching female in the home, I needed all the help I could get......not so sure it was all that 'helpful' in the end, truth be told. It wasn't until I ended up getting treatment for the anorexia that I started to get that *I* was the problem. I think that was in my 30's? *shrugs* Though some moments are better than others--I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin today. I don't have to BE anyone I'm not.

    HA--And THEN it's time to go into a social situation where I'm going to be around folks who haven't 'had the pleasure' of coming to know me for the ME I am yet.
    Ohhhhhhh boy... Katie-bar-the-door.......I'm tossing clothing, trying to find the 'right' pieces that looks 'okay' on me, trying to figure out WHAT to do with all those lines and wrinkles (hahahaha......like there's something to do?!!), wondering if I'm looking too thin or if those recently developed 'muffins' are showing...... And OMG what are they going to THINK OF ME!!! I know I'm going to be noticed--I'm ALWAYS noticed even when I try not to be. I walk in the door and *BOOM*........NOTICED!!!!!!! ACK!!!!

    It's nice that I get a gentle (or sometimes NOT so gentle) reminder "Other peoples opinions of you are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS..." I stop, get centered, grab a toy or drape my bubbles on a string around my neck--and off I go!!

    Yup--it's the 'unknown other people' jazz that gets me going some times. Off I go, borrowing back some of what didn't work for me before--fear will do that I guess. Maybe it's just one of those 'human' qualities we all get to muddle through? I just know when I get myself centered in what's TRUE about Mel before those social things, it all become a moot point. But is IS the 'social' factor. And yes, WE create that (that's what a 'society' does....which is why I believe in defiance and anarchy!!!! LOLOL)

    Anyway......Because of my experiences in LOTS Of areas/places, I don't pay attention to the package. My experiences brought me to 'here' and HERE is a very awesome place. I'm no better/no worse/no less/no more. And what I covet today is wayyyyyyy different today--(don't tell!)people with moms and cool toys (I WANT ONE!!)!!

    But--*hanging head* for the record, when he-who-asked-what-I-really-wanted-for-a-prezzie asked....I told him a vat of 'anti-wrinkle' cream that I could swim in tyvm. And for the record.....I didn't get it.

    But I DID get AWESOME toys!
    So it's all good! ;-)

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  45. Goooooooooood morning Mel~

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for your wonderful comment, because what you shared accurately embellished what I'm conveying with this post. And thank you for your honesty in sharing your life experience.

    As I shared with Diane in my response to her comment, I can totally appreciated books that are written to assist women to look good on the outside, books concerning style, clothing, weight loss, skincare, haircare, etc. However, it's the 'manner' in which these books are presented that's my gripe - the titles - and the subliminal negative messages they send out. To me, they only highlight the already ludicrous standards that society places on women, and are putting down those who are heavier and older.

    If someone wants to lose weight for better health or use color, clothing, skincare, or makeup to enhance themselves, I think that's great. But as you shared, until someone feels comfortable in their own skin; accepting themselves for who they are first, in my opinion, it's like chasing your tail.

    It's like owning a car. You can certainly do things to 'upkeep' the car, but the car will always be a Buick, not a Chevy.

    And wouldn't you really rather have a Buick anyway? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    "Though some moments are better than others--I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin today. I don't have to BE anyone I'm not."

    (((( Mel ))))

    Again, thank you so much for sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experience in this post. You've added MUCH, dear lady.

    Hope you're having a faaaaaaaabulous weekend!

    X

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  46. Great piece, Ron. I love you.

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  47. *waving from Center City*

    Hi Kathy!!!!!

    Thanks, girl! X ya too!

    Hopefully, the four of us will be able to come up with a good time to me up soon.

    Can't wait!

    Hope you're having a faaaaaaabulous weekend! Can you believe how COLD it's been? I LOVE IT!!!!!!

    The Penguin

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  48. Yep. Women get the short end of the stick.

    The media places so much emphasis on our outer beauty. It makes me sick to my stomach.

    Great rant, Ron.

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  49. Hello Meleah, my Libra Friend~

    Thanks, girl.

    ((((( Meleah ))))

    And agree with your comment TOTALLY.

    Thanks so much for stopping by. Hope you're enjoying your new desk chair. It's AWESOME! And green happens to be my favorite color.

    X

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  50. HA!

    Maybe the color Green is a Libra thing?!!

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  51. Must be!

    And it's funny, because my stepmother is a Libra also, and her maiden name is GREEN. No lie!!!

    X

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  52. Such an amazing post as usual Ron! I gotta say I am not at the point where I am afraid of looking "old" yet but the weight thing has followed me around my whole life. I am a very thin girl and even had a gym teacher fail me once saying I didnt gain enough weight in a semester so I must be anorexic. However, I am just a skinny girl with a high metabolism. It would be nice if society would accept that rather than judging me for it!

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  53. Hey Shae~

    Thank you. Sometimes I can get very VERBOSE about how society judges women and their appearance.

    Reading your comment reminded me of my childhood because I too was always told that I needed to gain weight because of my high metabolism. Isn't ironic how we're looked at either way - too heavy/too thin.

    And it's funny, because people who eat with me are always amazed at how much food I can consume. I once had someone at a luncheon say, " Holy shit....where do you PUT all that food?!?!"

    HA!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, girl! Always so nice to see your comments. Hope you had a FAB weekend!

    X

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  54. Herman TurnipJanuary 15, 2012

    Man that Charla Krupp sure is a busy author! ;-)

    I agree that society tends to stigmatize actresses as they age. But as you pointed out there are those who tend to rise above it, but they are few and far between. I guess it's a reflection of society and what it considers beauty. But the definition of beauty is always changing, so here's hoping that the ideals eventually sway towards the older side of the spectrum. Heck, none of us are getting any younger! :-)

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  55. Howdy Herman!

    "Man that Charla Krupp sure is a busy author! ;-)"

    HA! She sure is! And apparently enjoyed by many.

    Yes, there are several actresses who DO rise above the stigma, and YAHOOOOOOOOOO for them!

    You made a great point....

    " I guess it's a reflection of society and what it considers beauty. But the definition of beauty is always changing, so here's hoping that the ideals eventually sway towards the older side of the spectrum."

    The definition of beauty is ALWAYS changing, so yeah, here's hoping they sway towards the other side of the spectrum!

    Thanks a BUNCH for stopping by, buddy. Hope you had a wonderful weekend! It's very cold here, and finally feeling like winter!

    X to you and the family!

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  56. Ron, my fabulous friend, if only we could get society to think like you. Being a 58 year old, chubby woman, I can tell you about being invisible. However people that don't see me are missing out on one damn fine person! ;)

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  57. Good morning Lady Nitebyrd~

    " However people that don't see me are missing out on one damn fine person! ;)"

    A-MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You're a BEAUTIFUL lady....inside AND out.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, Sis! Have a super week!

    X ya bunches!

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  58. Beautiful post, my friend. You think that once you pass adolescence and teenage angst that you won't be swayed by societies ridiculous standards but I swear there's more pressure on me NOW than when I was 16.

    You're right. I just need to take a step back and BREATHE.......

    xoxo

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  59. Hello Chrissy Girl~

    Thank you. When I saw these books in B&N last week, I just HAD to VENT - tee, hee!

    "You think that once you pass adolescence and teenage angst that you won't be swayed by societies ridiculous standards but I swear there's more pressure on me NOW than when I was 16."

    You're ABSOLUTELY correct. And that's what annoys the living hell out me. Women are judge WAY TOO harsh by societies standards as they ripen. Where as men, simply become 'distinguished.'

    "You're right. I just need to take a step back and BREATHE......."

    You're a stunningly beautiful lady. Both inside AND out.

    (((((( You ))))))))

    Thanks so much for stopping by, girl.

    X ya bunches!

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