Same-Sex Couples And Adoption


I own my inspiration for this post to my mother because she and I often have some of the most thought and feel-provoking conversations on a variety of topics.

My mother and I can literally talk about anything.

And the really cool thing about our relationship is that we don’t always see things the same way, therefore our opinions sometimes differ. Yet, we never end up getting into an argument because we allow each other to have our opinions without feeling defensive.

She and I have very passionate opinions, but are also open and willing to examine each other’s side.

Earlier this week, I was speaking with my mother on the phone and for some reason we got on the topic of same-sex couples adopting.

Now my mother knows of my “partner preference” and has never had an issue with accepting it. In fact, she’ll often say, “I hope you find someone special to share a relationship with, Ronnie.” My mother has always accepted and supported me in all the things that encompass my life.

However, she and I have different viewpoints on same-sex couples and adoption.

I, obviously see nothing wrong with it because if two people (whether two males or two females) have a calling to adopted a child and can raise them financially, responsibly, and with loving care, why not?

My mother on the other hand, though knowing that same-sex partners would do an amazing job in raising a child, feels that the child would perhaps suffer in being judged and ridiculed by other children for growing up with two fathers or two mothers. She feels that this would add pressure to the child.

And honestly? I can see her point.

Yet, I shared with her that most children have pressures growing up. A child can be judged or ridiculed for being over-weight, under-weight, not smart enough, or even for a physical or mental disability. We’ve all been ridiculed in one way or another for something that other people feel is different. If you think about it, we ALL have something about us that stands out and makes us different than the norm; therefore we will always be compared.

Yes, perhaps a child growing up with same-sex parents will have certain judgments to contend with, but my thought on that is how do we raise the consciousness of the world for future generations if we don’t allow it to happen through our children? I think we sometimes underestimate a kid’s ability to adapt. I myself grew up being verbally abused almost every single day of my school years for being gay. But do you know what? I survived. And it made me a much stronger and more compassionate person.

There are a plethora of children who are born into this world disregarded, so if two same-sex partners are willing to take these children into their lives, allowing them to feel valued and wanted, then I say, AMEN.

I would like to conclude this post by saying that many people feel a child needs the stability of a mother and father to grow up. But my question is…what exactly defines a mother and father, a man and a woman?

Not really.

A mother and father are any two people who have the ability to nurture and love.


Wishing you a beautiful weekend everyone!

X



*Note: I realize this topic will bring up individual opinions and I invite you to share yours. Yet, I ask that you share them in thoughtfulness. Also, my mother reads my blog, therefore if you don’t agree with her opinion that’s fine, but I request that you share it without condemning. She and I might not share the same viewpoints, however she is my mother, and I love and respect her. Thank you everyone....x

52 comments

  1. Great post, Ron! Well said, and I agree with all your points!

    how do we raise the consciousness of the world for future generations if we don’t allow it to happen through our children?

    That is especially true. Whitney Houston believes the children are the future, and though I'm not a particular fan of her music I do agree with that sentiment. If we want to change the world, we're going to have to rely on the next generation to carry the torch, if you will. Hopefully in a few years nobody will bat an eye over same-sex parents.

    I mean, who doesn't love Cam and Mitchell on Modern Family, right?!

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  2. I have often thought that men make good mothers. For a start they - or rather most of them - have more patience. These days there are house husbands who care for the children on a daily basis. Those kids don't have to suffer taunts so why would those looked after by two fathers or two mothers? The world has changed, people view things more liberally than they used to. As you say, we all had to put up with some contentions. When Elton John adopted his baby I felt thrilled for him. It made the news, yes, but didn't he look HAPPY? I can't see his child coming to any harm because the home contains two fathers.

    Interesting post, Ron. Happy Friday.

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  3. I'm sure same sex partners can do as good a job of raising a child as any other couple and in some case a better job. I don't think these days there is as much stigma attached to that situation as there used to be, just as there isn't as much stigma attached to being an unmarried mother as there used to be - and I know all about that having been in that situation with my first child.

    Can I ask you a question Ron? Would you consider adopting a child?

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  4. Tough one, Ronnie. I agree with you that unfortunately, everyone experiences bullying in some degree, no matter what! Because people suck! LOL.......

    And I do think that having two gay parents is better than no parents at all, for sure! But I also think that it's important to have both a mother and a father. I honestly don't know how to answer or explain the differences. I just think a child misses out by not having a mommy and a daddy because men and women ARE different, despite their sexual orientation. You could have a very masculine gay woman teach her kid how to play baseball like a dad would, but she's still a woman who has PMS!

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  5. I didn't know your Mom reads your blog, I would have said hello and how fierce I think she is and how I love all the stories you have told me about her

    hello Ron's Mom - you go girl :)

    My ex is black and I'm white so I understand what your Mom means by the extra pressure of being different in a small minded world yet my son survived and grew to be thoughtful and strong and kind
    I can think of many children raised in a traditional family that grew to be thugs

    I am so concerned about and disappointed in the current state of outright hate toward gay people
    I am right now researching a post about One Million Moms - a group so hateful - they want Ellen fired, they want boycotts of anything and anyone who supports a gay person, they want Modern Family taken off TV, and on and on

    when you think Mom you think safe and nurturing, not judgmental and hateful

    finally, if my uncle and his partner had been allowed to be together openly they would have taken me away from my blood curdling abusive home and my life would have been so different

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  6. Howdy Mark~

    "Whitney Houston believes the children are the future, and though I'm not a particular fan of her music I do agree with that sentiment."

    OMG...I totally forgot about that song from Whitney, but you're right..."the children ARE the future."

    "If we want to change the world, we're going to have to rely on the next generation to carry the torch, if you will. "

    Amen!

    And to me, that's how we evolve in consciousness.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, buddy. You ROCK!

    Have a faaaaaaaaabulous weekend!

    X

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  7. Provoking post. I understand what your mom says about being different...and you're right we all grow up with difficulties. I don't personally know of anyone raised by a gay couple so I can't speak of anyone's firsthand experiences. I do know it is much more important to be wanted and loved, regardless of who is raising the child. While a mother and father family might be traditional, love and security comes in all sorts of packages. And yes, ALL children deserved to be loved.

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  8. Every one is entitled to their own opinion as long as they can respect others. Your mother, from all you've written about her, seems like a wonderful, loving, intelligent woman. She definitely has a point about the difficulties a child of same sex parents might encounter. We can hope that as time passes, people will be more accepting of many things that cause such controversy now. Your mother has no problem with the same sex parenting aspect, only the effect on the child. That's a good MOTHER!

    I have no issue with same sex parents. A parent - mother and/or father - is someone who loves, cares for, encourages, teaches and WANTS a child. Doesn't have to be a man and a woman, just has to be people that have the ability to nurture those children.

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  9. Good morning Valerie~

    " These days there are house husbands who care for the children on a daily basis. Those kids don't have to suffer taunts so why would those looked after by two fathers or two mothers? "

    That's an excellent point!

    "I have often thought that men make good mothers. For a start they - or rather most of them - have more patience."

    You're right, I've known of several single fathers, who for whatever reason, have had to raise their children alone - and have done an amazing job, I might add. There are many men out there who are quite the 'nurturers.'

    "When Elton John adopted his baby I felt thrilled for him. It made the news, yes, but didn't he look HAPPY? I can't see his child coming to any harm because the home contains two fathers."

    Yes, he DID look happy!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts and feelings on this post, dear lady. Muchly appreciated!

    Happy Friday! Have a super weekend!

    X

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  10. If these kids would suffer, then it's not the Same-sex Couples we should blame, it's the parents of the other children, those who have failed to bring up their kids as respectful and well-mannered individuals.

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  11. Beautiful post, Ron. My cousin and her partner have been together for 20 years--they were married in California just before Prop Hate was passed--and have two beautiful adopted daughters. I visited them in Santa Fe a few years back and THEY ARE A FAMILY--no doubt about it. I also think it's great that you and your mom can disagree without getting into an argument. That's so important with your loved ones. Have a great weekend, buddy!

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  12. Good morning Akelamalu~

    " I don't think these days there is as much stigma attached to that situation as there used to be, just as there isn't as much stigma attached to being an unmarried mother as there used to be - and I know all about that having been in that situation with my first child."

    You're right, I CAN see things changing, for both single parents AND same-sex partners raising children.

    "Can I ask you a question Ron? Would you consider adopting a child?"

    Good question! As much as I adore children, I've never felt the calling to actually adopt a child. I think I make a better "Uncle Ronnie" than I would a "Daddy Ronnie." There are A LOT of responsibilities in raising a child, and in the way in which I enjoy living my life, I honestly don't think I would be able to give the responsibility needed.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, m'dear! ALWAYS enjoyed and appreciated.

    Have a wonderful weekend......X

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  13. Hey there Bijoux~

    " I agree with you that unfortunately, everyone experiences bullying in some degree, no matter what! Because people suck!"

    I honestly think people bully not because they suck, but because they fear. And then fear makes them react in a certain way.

    "And I do think that having two gay parents is better than no parents at all, for sure! But I also think that it's important to have both a mother and a father. I honestly don't know how to answer or explain the differences. I just think a child misses out by not having a mommy and a daddy because men and women ARE different, despite their sexual orientation."

    Yes, that's pretty much my mother's feelings.

    And I totally agree, men and women ARE different, and contribute different things to raising a child. But I also feel that as individuals, nurturing and love can be given by both both sexes. And in my heart, I feel that that's a solid "soil foundation" for growth and development.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts and feelings on this post, dear lady. Muchly appreciated and respected.

    Have a wonderful weekend!

    X

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  14. Goooood morning Lady Dianne~

    "I didn't know your Mom reads your blog, I would have said hello and how fierce I think she is and how I love all the stories you have told me about her

    hello Ron's Mom - you go girl :)"

    Aw....thanks, dear lady! And my mother knows a lot about you because I often share stories about your thoughts and feelings on things to her. She would LOVE to meet you!

    "My ex is black and I'm white so I understand what your Mom means by the extra pressure of being different in a small minded world yet my son survived and grew to be thoughtful and strong and kind."

    Yes, that's my point. Many of us have had some sort of pressure growing up and we've survived; making us all the more understanding and compassionate people. My childhood was tough, no doubt, but I wouldn't change it because it made me into the person I am today.

    "I am so concerned about and disappointed in the current state of outright hate toward gay people........"

    As I shared with Bijoux, I think people react this way because they fear what they don't fully understand, therefore they react in judgment and anger.

    "finally, if my uncle and his partner had been allowed to be together openly they would have taken me away from my blood curdling abusive home and my life would have been so different."

    ((((( You ))))))

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your feelings and viewpoint on this post. Muchly appreciated, dear lady.

    Have a SUPA' weekend!

    X to you and the gang!

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  15. Good morning SuziCate~

    "I do know it is much more important to be wanted and loved, regardless of who is raising the child. While a mother and father family might be traditional, love and security comes in all sorts of packages."

    That's it!

    Thank you, my friend. Thank you for sharing your insight.

    Have a wonderful weekend. And much thanks for stopping by.

    X

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  16. Good morning Lady Nitebyrd~

    "Your mother, from all you've written about her, seems like a wonderful, loving, intelligent woman. She definitely has a point about the difficulties a child of same sex parents might encounter."

    Thank you, and yes, she definitely has a point. And I can totally see it.

    "Your mother has no problem with the same sex parenting aspect, only the effect on the child. That's a good MOTHER!"

    Aw...thank you. And that's only concern...the effect on a the child. However, as much as she has her view points, she's always able to examine mine. That's what I LOVE about her.

    " A parent - mother and/or father - is someone who loves, cares for, encourages, teaches and WANTS a child. Doesn't have to be a man and a woman, just has to be people that have the ability to nurture those children."

    Amen.

    Thanks so much for stopping, Sis! And thank you for sharing on this post. You've added much!

    Have a wonderful weekend!

    X ya!

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  17. Greetings Kissowa~

    Welcome! Thanks so much for stopping and sharing a comment. Nice to meet you!

    I think things are slowly changing in the consciousness of people today because I know of MANY heterosexual parents who are raising their children to be respectful and open to both homosexuality and same-sex parenting.

    Thanks again for stopping by. Have a wonderful weekend!

    X

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  18. Hiya Rob~

    Thanks, buddy.

    "My cousin and her partner have been together for 20 years--they were married in California just before Prop Hate was passed--and have two beautiful adopted daughters. I visited them in Santa Fe a few years back and THEY ARE A FAMILY--no doubt about it."

    HOW. WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I know of two ladies here in Philly who have also adopted a child (a precious little girl), and when you see them all together, you can't help but see/feel their family unit. It's so touching.

    " I also think it's great that you and your mom can disagree without getting into an argument. That's so important with your loved ones."

    Thank you. My mother is such a cool lady because she definitely has her opinions, but she's also open enough to see mine.

    Always FAB to see ya, Rob. Thanks for stopping by and sharing.

    Have a great weekend!

    X

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  19. I understand your mother's concerns, however, I do agree with you.
    Times are changing and it's becoming more acceptable for families to be different now. Growing up, my dad was the financial provider, my mom did have a job but retired from it when us kids were born and stayed home to raise us. They each had their roles to play, so to speak. She cooked and cleaned, he had the cars fixed and took out the trash. lol
    These days, there are alot of single mothers and single fathers and households where the woman earns more and the dad stays home, etc. etc.
    If a child needs a home and a same-sex couple wants to adopt then they should be allowed to if they can provide a happy, loving environment for that child. I'm sure many of them are aware of the difficulties they may face regarding people who don't agree, but I think they'de be just as supportive as other parents are with things they deal with. Like you mentioned, kids are judged for a variety of things.
    We're friends with a couple (man-woman) who were foster parents years ago. One of the children they cared for was a baby born to a mother on drugs. When the time came, they decided to adopt. Let me tell you what, that boy is ADORED! He was taken in from birth and cared for and raised by two people who had no connection to him other than that they wanted to share their home and give love, warmth, and security to those who didn't have that otherwise. BRAVO to people who are able to offer that.
    It doesn't really matter... but the couple is white and the boy is black. There is no color in their eyes though, they are simply a family.

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  20. Good morning Mary~

    Yes, I can sincerely understand my mother's concerns because she does have a valid point.

    "Times are changing and it's becoming more acceptable for families to be different now."

    Agreed, wholeheartedly! And I do think that times ARE changing. Slowy...but still changing.

    "These days, there are alot of single mothers and single fathers and households where the woman earns more and the dad stays home, etc. etc.'

    EXACTLY. Today, with the economy the way is it, many couples are switching roles; providing a better life for the children. Also, many parents are raising their children alone, and doing a damn good job of it.

    "If a child needs a home and a same-sex couple wants to adopt then they should be allowed to if they can provide a happy, loving environment for that child. I'm sure many of them are aware of the difficulties they may face regarding people who don't agree, but I think they'de be just as supportive as other parents are with things they deal with. "

    Yes, you nailed it perfectly!

    " Let me tell you what, that boy is ADORED! He was taken in from birth and cared for and raised by two people who had no connection to him other than that they wanted to share their home and give love, warmth, and security to those who didn't have that otherwise. BRAVO to people who are able to offer that."

    OMG....what a BEAUTIFUL story! That actually made me teary-eyed.

    And that's what I mean about being a mother and father....it's truly the ability to nurture and love that makes a parent.

    As always, I thank you for stopping by and sharing much, my friend. I so enjoy and appreciate your comments!

    Have a maaaaaaaaaaavalous weekend!

    X

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  21. Pamela D HartFebruary 10, 2012

    “Now my mother knows of my “partner preference” and has never had an issue with accepting it. In fact, she’ll often say, “I hope you find someone special to share a relationship with, Ronnie.” My mother has always accepted and supported me in all the things that encompass my life.”


    Since your mom reads your blog, THIS is for HER.


    Mrs. Ron’s Mom, YOU are AMAZING! And should feel so PROUD, not only of your son, who is one of the MOST wonderful men I have had the honor of meeting (not in person yet but that will come soon, I hope!) but also yourself. Parenting is the hardest job we will EVER love and you did an incredible job with your son. Thank you for blessing our world with him.


    Now, your turn, Ron :-)


    I believe the very best family situation for a child is a mother and father, however, that’s not always feasible and some people just aren’t cut out to be parents— my own bio-mother was proof of that.


    Children DESERVE to be loved and nurtured and I feel they should get that from two parents. Same-sex parents CAN give that to children. From what I understand, each partner takes on a different “role”. One normally takes on a “mommy” role and one a “daddy” role, therefore, children who are adopted by Same-sex parents will receive what they NEED in order to grow and prosper.


    People tend to look down and criticize “things” they don’t understand, fear or that which is different. It’s quite unfortunate that innocent children are the object of hatred, scorn and ridicule from those who won’t permit people to be themselves or worse, compassionate.



    ((Hugs))

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  22. Pamela.....

    First, I have to give you a BIG hug....

    ((((((((((((((( You ))))))))))))))))

    Thank you. And not only for your comment to my mother (which she's gonna LOVE reading), but also for you comment to me.

    It was honest, sincere, intelligent, and conscious. Thank you for that.

    "Children DESERVE to be loved and nurtured and I feel they should get that from two parents. Same-sex parents CAN give that to children. From what I understand, each partner takes on a different “role”. One normally takes on a “mommy” role and one a “daddy” role, therefore, children who are adopted by Same-sex parents will receive what they NEED in order to grow and prosper."

    Yes, that is the case sometimes, the same-sex parents do take on the mommy/daddy roles. And even some heterosexual parents do that in opposition to tradition. Some fathers are more the stay-at-home-dads, and some mothers are more the go-out-and-work-moms. In fact, I had a very close couple I knew while living in Florida who were that exact way. He stayed at home, she worked. When you looked at them as a family unite, he was definitely more the 'mommy role' and she was more the 'daddy role.' And somehow it worked that way for them.

    I think as long as BOTH parents (whether straight or gay) provide love and nurturing to their children, it doesn't really matter which 'role' they take on.

    "People tend to look down and criticize “things” they don’t understand, fear or that which is different. It’s quite unfortunate that innocent children are the object of hatred, scorn and ridicule from those who won’t permit people to be themselves or worse, compassionate."

    That's so very true, dear lady. I know that when "I" have ever been ridiculed for being gay, I could actually see the fear in their eyes, which is where the hatred came from. Fear.

    Again, thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your comment, Pamela. You're a sweetheart!

    Have a beautiful weekend!

    X

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  23. Well said! You know how I feel about this. Especially after the ordeal that poor Mark and his partner are going through. I think kids with two loving partners of any sexual combination are going to be better off than kids with either a single parent or two parents of same of opposite sexes who are fighting all the time.

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  24. ...Amen to this! :o)

    ...Love is LOVE. As long as it is a healthy, stable, nurturing love it doesn't matter. Children are like flowers, with all the right elements they bloom. It doesn't matter who delivers the nutrients and the love. And goodness knows there are so many children waiting to be adopted and who need loving homes, it's just sad.

    ...Your Mom did bring up a valid point regarding children being ridiculed by others due to their parental situation but I feel that children are resilient and if they are raised in a loving, nurturing environment they will be able to make their own judgments in healthy and thoughtful ways regarding other's thoughts and actions towards them. (how's that for a run-on sentence:o)

    ...Does this mean someone is considering marriage and children some day in the near future, hmmm? *wink*wink*nudge*nudge*

    ...You're so fortunate to have your Mother and she sounds like such a sweetheart too. Proof that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. ;o)

    ...Have a most wonderful weekend Ron & Ron's Mom!

    ...Blessings :o)

    (((you)))

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  25. Mo and I have been together for 31 years (Oh.My.Word!) My family (like your mother) were totally accepting of the situation and have always seen Mo as part of our family, just like any of their husbands and wives.

    About 9 years ago we thought about fostering troubled children. We were accepted by the fostering authority, without any problems. The only thing that stopped us was that our home would have to be available 24 hours a day, to the child's extended family. As we were informed that these people were mostly drug addicts and offenders, we decided that, at our ages and being two women, we would be making ourselves far too vulnerable. We wanted to give love to needy children, but things are never that simple unfortunately.

    Things have changed immensely here in the UK. Although there will always be the less 'enlightened', homosexuality generally is far more accepted. It's actually fashionable to be 'Gay' with the younger generation, though that brings about the problem of lots of teenagers playing around at it just because they want to be 'cool'. I'm not sure that it actually helps the long term struggles, prison terms, suicides and murders homosexuals have had to endure to get where they are today, but one thing is for sure. They aren't growing up hating gays!

    I suppose the fact that Mo and I were going to foster must mean that we think same sex partners can do just as good a job at parenting and giving love where needed :)

    On the subject of causing problems for the child. I can honestly say that I had more than my fair share of mistreatment at school (mainly from teachers), being accused of all sorts of things falsely, purely because we were a large family. It lasted right through my schooling. I was punished (physically) several times for things I was totally innocent of, but the day I left school, I left that behind me. It did me no lasting damage at all. Kids will always find something to taunt other kids with. If it isn't same sex partners it will be something else.

    Great post Ron, and of course you totally respect and love your mother. She totally respects and loves you :)

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  26. *sigh* Is this where I confess that I read this bright and early and had such an adverse reaction that I had to buy a bit of time?

    I mean a big time reaction.

    Lemme say this:

    Mom? You rock. Seriously--you ROCK. I love that you raised such a spirited, loving, talented and giving person. You done GOOD. And yes, I know--he had choices to make along the way...all the glory to him who made the loving ones, the difficult/unpopular ones...the right ones for HIM. Cuz I'm very clear he coulda made other ones. But he was given such a solid foundation to build on--one built from pure love. He was and continues to be graced to have you in his life. So thank you--for giving him all the love and freedom to become all that he IS.

    <-- is available for adoption! (JUST sayin'......)

    And Ron--the big time reaction was about that request at the end of the post. Not about who's 'fit' to be a parent and who's not. I seriously struggled with the thought of someone bashing a mom who's spent a lifetime (and continues to spend her lifetime) loving and encouraging you to be all that you ARE....one who can agree with you and disagree with you and leave knowing nothing is changed in the relationship, no one is devalued or loved any less..... *sigh*

    THAT'S what I hope for in the life of a child. Any child......every child.

    I wish that was a simple thing, awarded by gender or sexual preference. I really do. I wish it was that simple.

    It's not.

    I watch it every day.
    EVERY day.
    And my heart aches.
    And I'm tasked with helping each of them know every day-- what they think, what they feel, what they do.....MATTERS. THEY matter.

    Who they are is ENOUGH.

    Maybe that's why the reaction in me was so huge.

    I don't care who loves that child and helps that child become all that they ARE. SOMEone.....anyone....

    Just please--find it in yourself to love as Ron's mom loves.
    Whole heartedly.....always......without reserve...without judgement on worth and value......without pause.

    (((((((((((( the mom )))))))))))))))

    (((((((((((((((((( Ron )))))))))))))))))))

    Yup.
    Still passionately emotional.
    I can't contain that, I guess.
    It's who I was created to be.

    (((((((((((((((((((((((((( Ron ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    (thanks for putting up with me.....)

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  27. Hello Peg~

    "You know how I feel about this. Especially after the ordeal that poor Mark and his partner are going through."

    Yes, I do know how you feel about this and I applaud you for taking a stand and asking for support for Mark and his partner on that post you share a few weeks ago.

    (((((( Peg ))))))

    "I think kids with two loving partners of any sexual combination are going to be better off than kids with either a single parent or two parents of same of opposite sexes who are fighting all the time."

    I agree. And also children who are born and not wanted.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your support on this topic, dear friend. Thank you.

    Have a faaaaaaaaaaaabulous weekend!

    X

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  28. I totally understand your mom's point of view - but all kids have crazy pressures. My son was judged for being raised by a single mother. And there are still people out there who judge black & white couples.

    All I can say is WHY CANT WE ALL GET ALONG!!

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  29. Hello dear TJ~

    "Children are like flowers, with all the right elements they bloom. It doesn't matter who delivers the nutrients and the love."

    *clapping*

    I LOOOOOOOOOOVE how you said that!!!! And you're absolutely correct. It doesn't matter WHO delivers the nutrients and love!

    "...Your Mom did bring up a valid point regarding children being ridiculed by others due to their parental situation...."

    Yes, I honestly feel that my mother did bring up a valid point, but it's as you so insightfully shared..."I feel that children are resilient and if they are raised in a loving, nurturing environment they will be able to make their own judgments in healthy and thoughtful ways regarding other's thoughts and actions towards them."

    My sentiments exactly.

    "...Does this mean someone is considering marriage and children some day in the near future, hmmm? *wink*wink*nudge*nudge* "

    OMG...that is so adorable! Well, I don't know about marriage and children, but I wouldn't mind being Uncle Ronnie!

    "..You're so fortunate to have your Mother and she sounds like such a sweetheart too. Proof that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

    Aw....thank you. And yes, I DO feel soooooooo fortunate to have my mother. She's such an awesome, funny, deep, and just all around GREAT human being. You would LOVE her if you ever met her. And she would love YOU too!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, dear lady. You always add such a wonderful energy to this blog. I feel blessed in knowing you.

    (((((( You )))))))

    Have a wonderful weekend!

    X

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  30. Greetings Babs~

    "Mo and I have been together for 31 years (Oh.My.Word!) My family (like your mother) were totally accepting of the situation and have always seen Mo as part of our family, just like any of their husbands and wives."

    *clapping and smiling*

    Oh, that's WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!! Isn't it great when our family's accept with an open heart and open arms? It was much the same in my own family. They could less what partner preference I preferred, as long as I was happy.

    I think it's absolutely AWESOME that you and Mo considered being foster parents, and I bet you gals would be GREAT parents too! But I don't blame you one bit for your decision concerning the child's extended family being drug addicts and offenders, and being able to come to your home 24 hours a day. No way. You definitely made the wisest choice.

    "but one thing is for sure. They aren't growing up hating gays!"

    "I suppose the fact that Mo and I were going to foster must mean that we think same sex partners can do just as good a job at parenting and giving love where needed."

    Amen!

    That's one thing about MANY European countries that's different than the U.S. They seem to be much more open to things. I lived in Amsterdam for a summer and I couldn't believe how open and free that country was! This one of the reasons why I ADORE Europe so much.

    " It did me no lasting damage at all. Kids will always find something to taunt other kids with. If it isn't same sex partners it will be something else."

    Same here. In fact, having gone through what I did while in school, it made me much more open, tolerant, and compassionate to others.

    "and of course you totally respect and love your mother. She totally respects and loves you."

    ((((( Babs ))))))

    I can't thank you enough for stopping by and sharing yourself so openly and personal, my friend. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    Wishing you and Mo a wonderful weekend!

    Much X to you both!

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  31. Hello dear Mel~

    First, just let me say THANK YOU so much for your comment to my mother. OMG…how sweet! She’s gonna LOVE reading that!!!!!

    ((((((( Mel )))))))

    “<-- is available for adoption! (JUST sayin'......)”

    HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!

    Second, about your big time reaction to the closing NOTE of this post….

    “I seriously struggled with the thought of someone bashing a mom who's spent a lifetime (and continues to spend her lifetime) loving and encouraging you to be all that you ARE....one who can agree with you and disagree with you and leave knowing nothing is changed in the relationship, no one is devalued or loved any less....."

    Yes, I struggled with that thought too, therefore I felt that I needed to share that notice because I have no idea who reads my blog and didn't want anyone who might have a strong reaction to my mother’s opinion to condemn her for it. I know how some people can be on the Internet (invisible and mouthy), just spewing their strong opinions without any consideration. Especially on topics such as this.

    “THAT'S what I hope for in the life of a child. Any child......every child.

    I wish that was a simple thing, awarded by gender or sexual preference. I really do. I wish it was that simple.

    It's not.”

    You’re right, unfortunately it’s not. That’s why I needed to share my view point on this post.

    “I don't care who loves that child and helps that child become all that they ARE. SOMEone.....anyone...."

    A-MEN!!!!!!!!

    "Yup.
    Still passionately emotional.
    I can't contain that, I guess.
    It's who I was created to be."

    And THAT'S why I love you so much, dear lady. And also, (being two Libras) I understand your passionate emotion, because I'm the exact same way!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing ALL that you shared on this post. MUCHLY respected and appreciated!

    (((((( You ))))))

    Have a glorious weekend!

    X ya bunches!

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  32. Hey there Meleah~

    "I totally understand your mom's point of view - but all kids have crazy pressures."

    Thank you, my friend. And I know being a fellow Libra, you could understand both sides. And it's funny because my mother is a Libra too, so that's probably why she and I can disagree, yet still see each others side.

    "My son was judged for being raised by a single mother. And there are still people out there who judge black & white couples."

    I know, can you BELIEVE that??? It amazes me what some people will judge, like being raised by a single parent is such a horrible thing! And don't even get me started on the judgment of interracial couples. I mean who the hell should care if a couple is black and white? LOVE has nothing to do with color. It has to do with two people LOVING each other.

    "All I can say is WHY CANT WE ALL GET ALONG!!"

    A-MEN!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, girl!

    You've added much!

    Have a super weekend........X

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  33. I'm with you 100%, parenting skills are not gender specific.

    Children receive their upbringing from the parents they have. Some dads like sports and some moms like sports. Some dads like gardening and art just like some moms. Parents just are who they are.

    But like you said, if any couple has the desire to expand their family to include the care and upbringing of a child, then may God bless them all and give them the strength to grow and prosper together.

    Doing something good for a good reason is wonderful. Not doing something good for a poor reason, such as what other people might do or think is just a shame.

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  34. Hellooooooooo Diane~

    "Children receive their upbringing from the parents they have. Some dads like sports and some moms like sports. Some dads like gardening and art just like some moms. Parents just are who they are."

    That's a wonderful point because not all moms and dads like all the same things male and females are supposed to like doing. Parents are just who they are.

    "Doing something good for a good reason is wonderful. Not doing something good for a poor reason, such as what other people might do or think is just a shame."

    BRA-VA!

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, Diane And thanks for sharing some REALLY great insight!

    Have a great weekend!

    Much X to you and Cristybella!

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  35. Jeanne PursellFebruary 11, 2012

    I agree with you on this Ron! Totally! I mean...look at Modern Family! Have a fabulous weekend!!!

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  36. Good morning Jeanne~

    Your like the second or third person to mention "Modern Family." Can you believe I have never seen it? Shame on me :(

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, dear lady. Have a fabulous weekend!

    X

    P.S. we finally got some snow this morning - yaaaaaaaaaaaay!

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  37. Holy crap. I mentioned Whitney Houston out of the blue the night before she died. Had to come back and read my comment again!

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  38. Hey Mark~

    I know.....can you freakin' BELIEVE that!?!?!

    You must have 'picking up' on something, because I know how 'in tuned' you are.

    I was so sadden to hear the news this morning :(

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  39. I think straight parents should have to go through the same "vetting" process as any adoptive parents before they're allowed to give birth. Look at all the screwed up kids of heterosexual couples. Of course, same-sex couples should be allowed to adopt. How could they possibly screw up their kids anymore than many of them are being screwed up now! I'm all with you on this one, Ron.

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  40. Jayne...I LOVE YOU!!!!!

    You tell em' girl!

    My thing is, either way (heterosexual or homosexual couples), their kids are going to have some sort of pressure and judgment while growing up.

    And as TJ so insightfully expressed in her comment....

    " I feel that children are resilient and if they are raised in a loving, nurturing environment they will be able to make their own judgments in healthy and thoughtful ways regarding other's thoughts and actions towards them."

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your voice, dear lady.

    Muchly appreciated.

    Hope you had a wonderful weekend!

    X

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  41. Wow, very good post, and very good topic of conversation --- so great that you and your mom can talk about this, and then that you can write about it this way.

    I firmly believe that loving capable people should be allowed and encouraged to adopt, whether straight or gay, married or single; there are great homes and loving families needed for kids, period.

    As a gay married dude, I do not think it is about marriage, and yes I know lots of people disagree. We don't want kids, established that early in the relationship and long before marriage. I know other people who would be great parents and are not, and that is a loss for the kids they could have, and i believe for all of us, as i believe that great parents will raise kids who become great people. Okay off my soapbox now....

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  42. Herman TurnipFebruary 12, 2012

    I've heard more than my fair share of stories regarding same sex couples being denied while attempting to adopt. Frankly, I don't see what the big deal is. If the child is raised in a loving home that imparts love and guidance then why should it matter if it's not a "traditional" family. Parents who adopt go through some serious background checks before being given the green light to adopt. If nothing untoward is discovered during those checks, then who cares if it's a same sex relationship. Heck, when same sex marriages are legalized nation wide, then what could possibly hold up an adoption?

    Just my $.00002 cents.

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  43. I have no problem with it at all. We have two lesbian couples at work with children and they are the BEST mothers and have wonderfully well adjusted children. You said it, love and nurturing are all kids need.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hey there Brahm~

    So great to see ya, bud! Thanks for stopping by.

    "....so great that you and your mom can talk about this, and then that you can write about it this way."

    Thank you. My mother and I have a very cool relationship in that we can talk about ANYTHING. I told her that I was going to post this and she was all for it. She trusted that I would present our opinions on this post consciously, without making her sound awful for having her own personal opinion.

    "I firmly believe that loving capable people should be allowed and encouraged to adopt, whether straight or gay, married or single; there are great homes and loving families needed for kids, period."

    AMEN, Brahm! And I couldn't agree with you more!

    LOVED your last paragraph! And I feel the same way.

    Again, thank you for stopping by and sharing your feelings and opinion on this post. Muchly appreciated and respected.

    Have a great week, Brahm!

    X

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  45. Howdy Herman~

    Thank you, buddy. Thank you so much for your open mind and open heart.

    "If the child is raised in a loving home that imparts love and guidance then why should it matter if it's not a "traditional" family."

    Truly, you're one of the rarities in this world who see's that.

    " Heck, when same sex marriages are legalized nation wide, then what could possibly hold up an adoption? "

    Exactly!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your voice on this post, buddy! You're the COOLEST!

    Hope you had a wonderful weekend!

    X to you, Karin, and Mr. Tyler!

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  46. Hey there Chrissy~

    "We have two lesbian couples at work with children and they are the BEST mothers and have wonderfully well adjusted children."

    *smiling*

    Oh, how WONDERFUL to hear that!!!!!!!!!!

    Thanks a BUNCH for stopping by and sharing on this post, girl. I just knew you were cool with this.

    Have a great week!

    X to you, Millie, Dino, and Vinny!

    P.S. it was so great talking with you last night on the phone!

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  47. My feeling is that if a child is raised with love and taught tolerance and respect of others it doesn't matter if both parents are the same sex. There are so many children who are raised so poorly by heterosexual couples that it makes me sad. We all grow up with problems. I don't see this as being one of them.

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  48. Good morning Jen~

    "My feeling is that if a child is raised with love and taught tolerance and respect of others it doesn't matter if both parents are the same sex."

    Yup, that's my sentiment exactly.

    "We all grow up with problems. I don't see this as being one of them."

    Thank you, my friend.

    ((((( You ))))))

    Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts and feelings on this topic. Muchly appreciated!

    Have a grrrrrreat week!

    X

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  49. Ron, I can see your mother's point, but I can also see yours. I have to agree, as long as a child is raised responsibly and with love, I see nothing wrong at all with same-sex parents adopting.

    I think it's so wonderful that you have this open relationship with your mother, in which you can both share your opinions, yet not argue about them.

    Great post, Ron.

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  50. Hola Denise~

    Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your viewpoint on this topic. Like I shared, I can TOTALLY understand my mothers concern, so it's not unreasonable.

    "I think it's so wonderful that you have this open relationship with your mother, in which you can both share your opinions, yet not argue about them."

    Aw...thank you. My mother truly is such a wonderful lady. I'm blessed in having her as my mom because we're like best friends!

    Always so nice to see your comments, girl!

    Have a wonderful week!

    X

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  51. this is a great post, ron...it's important to share our perspectives. while my brother did not have the best outcome with his kids because of their issues, I do think love is what counts, not the sex of the parents!

    hi to ron's mom!;)
    xox

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  52. Good evening Linda~

    "while my brother did not have the best outcome with his kids because of their issues, I do think love is what counts, not the sex of the parents!"

    Exactly! I think with adoption (whether by heterosexual or homosexual couples), there will sometimes be issues; simply because of adoption. However, it's like you shared...it's the love that counts, not the sex of the parents.

    Thanks SO MUCH for stopping by and sharing on this post, dear friend. You've added much!

    (((((( Linda ))))))

    Have a wonderful week!

    xoxoxoxo

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