Monday, April 30, 2012

Thank You, Gentlemen!

No one can be absolutely sure as to WHO is reading their blog, but from what I can tell from the men who stop by and leave comments, you’re predominantly heterosexual, although I do have a few homosexual male readers and commenters as well.

Today, I would like to thank and dedicate this post to ALL the awesome men who read my blog.

But before I do, I need to tell you why.

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I know it may seem that I am always going on about how much I admire and respect women, but that’s only because women were always my allies in my youth. Therefore, I have always just felt a natural closeness to women.

As I’ve written in the past, throughout my childhood I was verbally and emotionally abused by other males.

I realize part of that had to do with the fact that I never fit in with what boys my age typically enjoyed. And another part of that had to do with their suspicion of me being gay.

I sincerely know now that not all heterosexual males do, but there are many who have issues with homosexuality. Somehow the thought of two men coupling makes them very uncomfortable with their own sexuality because it feels like a threat to their masculinity. To them they associate homosexuality as something less of a man; therefore they lash out in anger because they fear it reflects them. They also, for some odd reason, believe that because another man is gay they are automatically going to try and put the moves on them; not realizing that just because another man is gay, doesn’t mean they’re attracted to every male.

Many heterosexual males also find it acceptable and even AROUSING the thought of two women being intimate. But the thought of two men sharing that same intimacy makes them very squeamish and uncomfortable.

And I know this because there are MANY heterosexual males who have openly admitted this to me.

But for this post, I want to focus on the heterosexual males, like you guys, who are secure enough in your own sexuality that you don’t give a shit that another man is gay. You know there’s no threat, because you’re secure and accepting in yourselves. Therefore, you accept others for all that they encompass.

Allow me to share with you very honestly, that because I was verbally and emotionally abused by men, I grew up most of my life not trusting men. Therefore, I spent most of my life avoiding the gender that I was attracted to because I didn’t want to get hurt. But what’s ironic is that when I DID pick a relationship, I always picked ones that hurt me, because psychologically and emotionally that’s what I expected.

It’s taken me many, many years to open myself to trust my own sex - and not only heterosexual men, but homosexual men as well because I always associated males with pain.

Hence, I spent a great deal of my life surrounding myself with only females because that meant safety.

Yet, there comes a time in your life when you realize that this is not working, and that in order for you to move past the pain and fear of male closeness, you have to be willing to open yourself to trust. And I’m not only referring to male intimacy, I’m also referring to simple male friendship.

And this is where YOU come in.

It’s funny how people who don’t blog can’t understand how you can form close relationships and learn so many wonder lessons from other people on the Internet.

I have to say that in the five years I’ve had this blog, I’ve met some of the most loving, kind, open, compassion, sweet, caring, and secure men.

And just through knowing you, you’ve caused that ‘wall’ which I’ve had so tightly wrapped around myself as a means of protection, to slowly come down and begin to trust and embrace my own gender. And in doing so, I’ve become  more open and trusting of men offline too.

And YOU are greatly responsible for that.

So thank you, gentlemen.

Thank you so much....x