Today, I would like to share an out-and-out vent about one of my pet peeves.
Actually, it’s probably less of a pet peeve and more of a prehistoric DNA gene that goes back to when caveman had to hunt and protect their food.
Allow me start off by expressing that I’m one of those people who when I order something to eat in restaurant, it’s MINE. Meaning, I don’t like sharing my food with other people at the table.
I wouldn’t share my food with even Barbra Streisand if she were sitting across a booth at Denny’s having dinner with me while singing, “People.”
Okay, I lie. Barbra Streisand, yes. But anyone else, no.
You see, I have no problem eating dinner with a group of people; however I don’t want them eating MY dinner.
One, I’m usually starved when I eat; therefore I want every single morsel of food on my plate.
Two, I don’t fancy someone having their fork (which was IN THEIR MOUTH), or their fingers (which just came off from SCRATCHING THEIR NOSE) pokin' around in my food.
And just for the record, I also don’t fancy other people sample-sipping whatever I’m drinking either.
I can’t stand going out to eat with people who think that dinner at a restaurant is some free-for-all-taste-what-everyone-else-is-eating-event.
And I’m sure you all know who I’m referring to, right?
Those ANNOYING noodgie people who flitter around the table like Tinkerbell, with their fork hovering over everyone’s plate; curiously inquiring, “Ooooo….can I have a taste of what you’re eating? That looks good, I should have ordered it.”
Whereupon, I have no trouble saying…..” No! And get your FRIGGIN-ASS fork away from my food!!”
OMG…that pisses me off to no end!
It’s food rape.
This especially seems to happen whenever you’re eating Mexican food because some people like to take their nacho chips and dip them into YOUR guacamole. It also seems to happen whenever you’re eating a burger and fries because there will inevitably be someone at the table who is on a diet, but thinks nothing of grabbing two of your French fries and dipping them into your ketchup - even though they just consumed 40 points on Weight Watchers.
Look, I have a strict protocol when I eat with a group of people.
My plate is my own personal space, so DON’T touch it.
Or you know what?
Have a FLAWLESS weekend everyone!