On Being A Parent

The image you see above is of my biological father and present stepmother. This photo was taken right after my family moved to Florida in 1973.

There was a 21-year age difference between my parents.

When they married, my father was 43 and my mother was 22.

Most of my family members didn’t think their marriage would last because of the age difference, but my parents proved them wrong; lasting 30 years, until my father passed away in 1993.

The only way I can describe what it was like having my parents as parents is to say that they always reminded me of Ricky and Lucy in the TV show, I Love Lucy.
My father was the Italian version of Cuban, Ricky Ricardo. And my stepmother was the Irish/German version of Scottish, Lucy McGillicuddy.

Together they were the Ricardo’s. However in our case, it was the Carnavil’s.

And much of the same zaniness and craziness occurred in our home. I can honestly say that our home life was insanely FUN.

Did we also have rough and difficult times? Yes, of course we did, every family does.

I feel very blessed in having my parents as parents. Because when I look back on my home life, I see images of laughter, passion, generosity, and love.

Since Father’s Day is Sunday, I thought I’d share a post about my feelings on being a parent.

Actually, I can’t really say what it’s like being a parent because I’m not one myself. However, something tells me that it’s not an easy vocation.

It’s rewarding, I’m absolutely sure, but also challenging.

You want the best for your child, guiding and directing them so that they don’t ever hurt from their mistakes. But you also realize that you learned from your own mistakes, therefore there comes a time when a child needs to pick and choose on their own so that they learn to be independent; growing from their own choices.

Parenting seems to be a balance between attentively being there as needed, but then sensing when to ask questions that cause a child to think for themselves.

Parenting seems to be about empowering.

You release the reigns, trusting that how you nurtured your child will stay with them as they go out into the world, living the life they were meant to live.

And that has to be difficult, letting go and allowing.

The only way I can fully describe how I imagine what being a parent must be like is to compare it with being a gardener.

You plant a seed within fertile soil.

You water it with nourishing guidance.

Give it light to grow.

Allow space to expand its roots.

You fertilize it with encouragement and support.

You give it all the things that it needs to fully prosper.

And then you stand back, allowing it to blossom…..


Happy Father’s Day to all you awesome gardeners!
X


Note: Stay tuned on Monday, when I will be sharing an update on my mother. And without giving too much away, let me just say….it’s GREAT news!

55 comments

  1. Your parents look great, your stepmother was so pretty. Your family is ace, Ron. 'I Love Lucy' characters have to be fun to live with. I envy you. Love your take on 'gardeners' my gardener is due for a surprise on Sunday when his stepdaughter arrives 'unexpectedly' from Australia.
    As for being a mother, I tried ... I really did. However,things didn't go according to the text books. After giving my son a good start in life I was eventually forced to believe that I did a bad job of raising him. Hope you have a terrific weekend, with good weather thrown in.

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  2. AkelamaluJune 15, 2012

    You'd make a great Dad, Ron, you know what a child needs and I'm sure you would be able to follow it through. :)

    Love the pic of your Dad and stepmother.

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  3. Rob LenihanJune 15, 2012

    What a beautiful couple--and what a fabulous post, Ron! They sound like such lovely people. It's great to read you fond memories of growing up. In this trash talk show world we live in, it's refreshing to hear someone share loving thoughts about their parents. I'm not a parent either and it's only now, as an adult, that I'm slowly understanding how much my parents sacrificed for me and my siblings. My dad once told me that being a parent is your greatest joy and your greatest challenge and I don't doubt that for a second. Thanks for sharing, buddy, and have a great weekend!

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  4. Love our gardening/parenting analogy! I recently used this one about writing for a post on my She Writes blog.
    You look a lot like your handsome father!
    It must have been lots of fun and crazy times with Lucy and Ricky as parents...I love it!

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  5. I LOVE that they stayed together. No wonder why you turned out so great...you were raised right! I am intrigued about what happened BEFORE the marriage. How did they meet? What made him so wonderful to her. Was he married to your bio mom? You have a whole wonderful book here!

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  6. Not a lot I can add to this either, except I sometimes wonder how my parents brought seven of us up, and how my dad held it all together, through such traumatic times.

    I can see you in your father :)

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  7. oooh ! Your daddy looks just like you Ron ! Except you are like a skinny shrimp compared to handsome him !

    "there comes a time when a child needs to pick and choose on their own so that they learn to be independent; growing from their own choices"

    Well said my friend !

    My father was the type who let us explore and be on our own. And when he did that times were tough for me as I had made wrong choices on my own and I was angry at him too. But It made me the person I am today - confident and able to tackle anything in life.

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  8. Good morning Pearl~

    Aw...thanks, m'dear! There is a part of me that would love to be a parent, but another part that thinks I make a much better uncle :)

    My stepmother sent me that picture a few weeks ago after she went through a box of old family photos. She wanted me to have it. Didn't they make a cute couple?

    Thanks so much for stopping by. Have a WONDERFUL weekend!

    X

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  9. Goooooood morning Valerie~

    Thank you. Didn't they make a handsome couple? That's actually my present stepmother (the one you've heard me speak of). There is picture of her that was taken when she was about 20 years old (a photo portrait) in which she looks exactly like Grace Kelly. My mother and brother have it hanging on the wall in their condo in Florida. It's such a stunning photo!

    "As for being a mother, I tried ... I really did. However,things didn't go according to the text books. After giving my son a good start in life I was eventually forced to believe that I did a bad job of raising him."

    I sometimes wonder if many parents think that. It has to be so challenging being a parent because you can only guide your child so far, and then there comes a time when the rest is up to them. And knowing YOU, I'm sure you gave your son all the nurturing, guidance, and love he needed to blossom!

    (((( You )))))

    Thanks so much for stopping by, dear lady! Have a terrific weekend!

    X

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  10. Hey there Rob~

    Thanks, buddy. My stepmother sent me that photo after she was going through boxes of some old family photos and thought I would like to have it. I asked her earlier this week if it was okay that I posted it on my blog, and she said, "Of course."

    "I'm not a parent either and it's only now, as an adult, that I'm slowly understanding how much my parents sacrificed for me and my siblings."

    Yes, my parents did the same thing. And that's why I think being a parent is so unconditional - they often sacrifice of themselves so that their children don't have to do without.

    "My dad once told me that being a parent is your greatest joy and your greatest challenge and I don't doubt that for a second."

    Amen!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, buddy! Have a grrrreat weekend!

    X

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  11. Parenting is also about embarrassing. Knowing when to embarrass your kid is key. The best moments are those when he or she is least expecting it, and preferably surrounded by friends. I'm telling you, as a dad, I live for those moments.

    Oh yeah, and also the fertile soil, yadda yadda blah blah blah.

    Have a great weekend, Ron!

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  12. Hey there Suzi~

    "Love our gardening/parenting analogy! I recently used this one about writing for a post on my She Writes blog."

    HA! OMG...you're kidding me?!?! See! I've always shared that you and I see and feel things very much the same!

    It's funny because when my father was still alive and the two of us where in a room together, people would always say, "Yup...you can tell you're Franks' son...you look just like him!"

    "It must have been lots of fun and crazy times with Lucy and Ricky as parents..."

    A BLAST!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a wonderful weekend!

    X

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  13. Hiya Babs~

    "except I sometimes wonder how my parents brought seven of us up, and how my dad held it all together, through such traumatic times."

    Ditto! I often wonder that same thing because we too went through some traumatic times. It was a huge adjustment after my mother biological mother passed away at such a young age, and then having my stepmother step in as guardian. Some of my family members were not very welcoming to her, so she and my father had a lot to deal with. However, their love for one another and us children conquered the adversity....and they rose above it.

    "I can see you in your father"

    Yes, everyone says that. And yet, it's funny because I looked a lot my biological mother too. If you took two photos of them and placed them next to me, I have my mothers facial shape, and my fathers features. It's like my face is HALF of each - HA!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend! Have a super weekend!

    X

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  14. Hey there Jaffer~

    "Your daddy looks just like you Ron ! Except you are like a skinny shrimp compared to handsome him!"

    Bwhhahahahahahhaaha! You're absolutely right!

    My father and I looked very much a like (facially) yet, I took after HIS father when it comes to body type. His father was very slight.

    "My father was the type who let us explore and be on our own. And when he did that times were tough for me as I had made wrong choices on my own and I was angry at him too. But It made me the person I am today - confident and able to tackle anything in life."

    Brava! You GO, boy! That which gives us challenge, also gives us confidence and strength for future challenges! Your father sounds like a AWESOME man who raised an AWESOME son!

    Always great seeing ya, buddy! Thanks so much for stopping by!

    Have a spectacular weekend!

    X

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  15. Hey there Mark~

    "Knowing when to embarrass your kid is key. The best moments are those when he or she is least expecting it, and preferably surrounded by friends. I'm telling you, as a dad, I live for those moments."

    Bwahahahahahahahha! Oh you little DEVIL, you!!!!!

    But you don't fool me, I can tell just from what you share on your blog that you're an excellent father!

    Thanks for stopping by, buddy! Have a terrrrific weekend!

    And Happy Father's Day to ya!

    X

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  16. Katherine MurrayJune 15, 2012

    I LOVE that they stayed together. No wonder why you turned out so great...you were raised right! I am intrigued about what happened BEFORE the marriage. How did they meet? What made him so wonderful to her. Was he married to your bio mom? You have a whole wonderful book here!

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  17. Ron, What a great photo of your parents. I somehow knew that you had a wonderful childhood filled with fun, because it just pours out of you in every post. I feel uplifted and happy each time I read one of your posts. Happy Father's day to you!

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  18. Hey there Katherine~

    Thank you for you sweet words, my friend.

    Yup...I too loved that they stayed together because trust me, it wasn't easy with of all the negative apprehension they got from certain family members. But they proved them wrong - YAY!

    "I am intrigued about what happened BEFORE the marriage. How did they meet? What made him so wonderful to her. Was he married to your bio mom? You have a whole wonderful book here!"

    I've written several posts on this blog in the past five years that answer many of your questions. They're in my archives.

    Yes, he was married to my bio mother and had three children. My mother passed away when she was only 40 years old from cancer. My father met my stepmother two years later and got married. I have a half brother (Tom), who is from my father and stepmother. They are ones I'm going to visit at the end of the month.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a WONDERFUL weekend!

    X

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  19. Hey there Bill~

    I can't thank you enough for your sweet and kind words. They sincerely touched me deeply because before I publish every post, I always intend and hope that my readers feel either uplifted, laugh, think, feel, or see things in a way they may not have seen before.

    And also that they are appreciated here.

    Your blog does the same for me, so thank you!

    Happy Father's Day to you and Paul!

    And again, your most recent post (as with all your posts) was AWESOME!!!!!

    X

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  20. Ron, what a sweet post. I can tell, just from your words that your parents were/are wonderful people. Yes, you are blessed. And your parents made such a beautiful couple.

    And I love the I Love Lucy pictures. I remember that episode in which Lucy's nose caught on fire. Oh my god, that was so funny!

    Have a wonderful weekend, Ron.

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  21. Hola Denise~

    Thank you. Lately, I've been thinking a great deal about my childhood and home life, and feeling very blessed.

    "And I love the I Love Lucy pictures. I remember that episode in which Lucy's nose caught on fire. Oh my god, that was so funny!"

    HAHAHAHAHAHA! OMG, don't ya just LOVE that episode? It's the one when the Ricardo's are in Hollywood, and Lucy meets William Holden. FLAWLESS!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, girl! Have a super-duper weekend!

    X

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  22. and i see where you get those eyebrows. :) they do look good together, despite the age difference. guess it didn't matter after all.

    you forgot to mention that parenting is exhausting, where is the word exhausting in this post. Ha. okay now that that's out of my system. exhausting going once.... no? okay. it takes more than two parents, but a village to raise a kid is right and i do like how you imagine parenting must be, that's about right. the letting go is probably the hard part because as parents we see things that kids do not, so it's hard to see them making a mistake and not saying something but to let them learn on their own. actually for me, it would depend on what mistake they are about to make. i know people say experience IS the best teacher, BUT i do not have to personally experience being a drug dealer to know that it's bad or something i want to stay away from...there are other ways of learning/experiencing and it's finding the in between that may help with the letting go. as kids get older, give them a little more rope and see how they handle it. just like a baby tree (with the wires and polls to help it grow straight) even it needs guidance to grow straight instead of crooked. same with kids, they need guidance and once the roots are firm, letting go will be natural. some kids still need leashes, i mean er um guidance. loved this post ron. xo

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  23. dianne777June 18, 2012

    she is beautiful and he looks like a character, there is mischief in his eyes

    beautiful description of parenting

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  24. Hey there Val!

    Thank you. Didn't they make a nice looking couple? And I swear to god, if you ever saw them together, you would think you were watching Lucy and Ricky Ricardo - HA!

    "you forgot to mention that parenting is exhausting, where is the word exhausting in this post. Ha. okay now that that's out of my system. exhausting going once.... no? okay."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You're absolutely right, I left out the word EXHAUSTING, so sorry! And I can't even imagine how exhausting it must be.

    " the letting go is probably the hard part because as parents we see things that kids do not, so it's hard to see them making a mistake and not saying something but to let them learn on their own."

    I've heard so many parents say the same as you, that's why I KNOW the letting has to be challenging.

    And I hear you on how it would depend on what 'mistake' they would make; whether or not to say something, or let them learn on their own because sometimes you just gotta open your mouth and say something, like...NO!

    "just like a baby tree (with the wires and polls to help it grow straight) even it needs guidance to grow straight instead of crooked. same with kids, they need guidance and once the roots are firm, letting go will be natural.'

    I LOVE how you said that, Val!!!!

    "some kids still need leashes, i mean er um guidance."

    Bwhahahahahaha! Agreed!

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by and sharing on this post, girl! And I know you're a single mom raising your daughter, so Happy Father's Day to you too!

    Have a fantabulous weekend!

    X

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  25. Ron I typed polls. I meant poles dangit. Help me not look stupid-ER. Ha
    V
    Sent from my iPod

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  26. Hey there Lady Dianne!

    Thank you. Isn't she a pretty lady?

    "and he looks like a character, there is mischief in his eyes"

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And you are sooooooo right, he WAS very mischievous! And I took after him - tee, hee!

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, dear lady! Have a glorious weekend!

    X to you, Hope, Siren, and Isadora!

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  27. Bwhahahahahahahaha! OMG...that is too funny, because once again, I didn't even NOTICE!!!

    Oh and paaaaaleeese, don't ever worry about looking stupid because I am one of the worst spellers in the world. I will sometimes go back to a post that's been published for TWO weeks, and suddenly notice I misspelled a word - HA! I swear, I need a PROOF READER!

    X

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  28. I changed it. I don't have time to think when I'm typing.

    V
    Sent from my iPod

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  29. (with the wires and polls [sic] poles to help it grow straight)

    HAHAHAHAHAHA! OMG, you KILL ME, girl!!!!!

    LOVE IT!!!!!

    X

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  30. Oh yes.....you are your father's child. He looks like a little terror in a good/fun way! LOL And the step-mom.......she doesn't look evil AT all. Whazupwitdat?!
    Fact is, she looks freaking gorgeous!!!
    Rest assured, MY step-mother looked the evil part.
    Specially in the early photos with me in 'em. *laughing* MIGHTA been my presence, huh?
    I was suchhhhhhhh a naughty child.....

    I don't know about parenting.
    Seriously....I mean that.
    I grew up with that alcoholic dad--he wasn't into parenting very much. Fact is, I think I spent a lot of time parenting him, in a 'responsible child' sorta way....
    So when it came my turn?......welllllllllllll......let's just say I winged it a LOT.
    Most times I did the direct polar opposite of what was done with me. LOL Seemed to work!
    And then I learned the really, REALLY tough lesson about planting seeds, watering and nurturing and letting things grow.......(and embarassment worked to prune back branches that were getting a tad bit cocky. LOL) And then.....it was time to get out of the way.....
    That was the tough part for me.
    Still IS, truth be told......

    Apples don't fall far from trees.
    Grandfather...father....
    Shoulda known me and mine weren't exempt from that, huh?
    Yeah, well....what you KNOW and what you know are entirely two different things, at least they are in my world. But yaknow.....I had to go through that to get here. And I had plenty of people trying to get my attention and get in my way.
    So did the kiddos in my life.

    You plant, you nurture and water and watch 'em grow.
    And then you get out of their way.
    But you always. ALWAYS love 'em.
    Yaknow....my dad did love me, in his quirky messed up sorta way.
    I miss him hugely.
    You wouldn't think that'd be the case, given the messy history we had together......but I do.
    And I'll celebrate the lessons I gleaned from his limited presence in my life....and I'll celebrate HIM this Sunday.
    I really believe the man did the best he could with where he was at that point in his life.
    And gosh....look at me today! I think I turned out 'okay', truth be told!

    Yeahyeahyeah......no comments from the peanut gallery, tyvm! LOL ;-)

    OH!! And Happy Dad's Day to the dad's and mom's doing double duty out there!

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  31. Ron, your parents are BEAUTIFUL! I ADORE that photo of them.

    I love reading your posts about family, parents and children because they are SO insightful!

    You may not be a parent, Ron, but you sure would make an excellent one. You seem to instinctively know what it would take and how difficult yet rewarding it is—YOU understand!

    Your garden analogy is the perfect analogy to parenting! I don’t think I ever read it described like that before. I think the most difficult part is: And then you stand back, allowing it to blossom…..

    I find that I have a hard time standing back. I know I have to, but sometimes I’m afraid.

    I’ll keep your garden analogy in mind from now on.

    Here’s why, if I hover then the light won’t be able to shine on my precious flowers, and if the light can’t shine on them, then they will wither.

    Thank you for this beautiful post!

    Have a beautiful weekend!

    ((YOU))

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  32. Hiya Mel~

    "He looks like a little terror in a good/fun way! LOL And the step-mom.......she doesn't look evil AT all. Whazupwitdat?!'

    HAHAHAHAHA! Yes, isn't that something? I guess my father needed her to 'balance' his terror! And let me tell ya, I truly AM my father's child because I'm a terror as well. And the funny thing about it is that he, my mother, and I are ALL Libra's!!

    "Rest assured, MY step-mother looked the evil part.
    Specially in the early photos with me in 'em. *laughing* MIGHTA been my presence, huh?
    I was suchhhhhhhh a naughty child....."

    HA! Meeeeee too, Mel, I was a very naughty child!

    "So when it came my turn?......welllllllllllll......let's just say I winged it a LOT.
    Most times I did the direct polar opposite of what was done with me. LOL Seemed to work."

    Yes, I hear that a lot from people who have had alcoholic parents, they go the direct polar opposite.

    "And then.....it was time to get out of the way.....
    That was the tough part for me.
    Still IS, truth be told......"

    Trust me, I KNOW that would be the hard part for me if I were a parent, so I understand what you mean. In fact, that's why I mentioned how challenging I think it would be.

    "But yaknow.....I had to go through that to get here. And I had plenty of people trying to get my attention and get in my way."

    Exactly! You had to go through that to get here, and that's what makes you the faaaaaabulous human being that you are today. You have an insight and compassion that many people do not, because YOU WERE THERE.

    "I really believe the man did the best he could with where he was at that point in his life.
    And gosh....look at me today! I think I turned out 'okay', truth be told!"

    AMEN and ALLELUIA! You turned out WAY okay, truth be told!

    And I agree with you about a parent doing the best they could because as you already know, my father may have not made the best choice in not telling us about the sickness and death of my biological mother until after she passed away. But I know in the center of my soul that he did it out of a need to protect us because he loved us. Yes, there were deep repercussions from his choice, but I learned something from it. And so did he....

    We can't protect or hide ourselves from any unpleasantness, such as losing someone. The best way to deal with it is to embrace it head on; feel all the emotions and grow from them. Because it's the only way to HEAL from it.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, dear lady. You've added MUCH!

    ((((((( YOU )))))))

    X ya bunches!

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  33. Hellooooooo Pam~

    Thank you, sweet lady. My mother will love reading your comment!

    "You seem to instinctively know what it would take and how difficult yet rewarding it is—YOU understand!"

    I think I understand only because this how I would WANT to raise a child if I had one myself. It's like I can almost FEEL what it would be like to be a parent.

    "I think the most difficult part is: And then you stand back, allowing it to blossom…..

    I find that I have a hard time standing back. I know I have to, but sometimes I’m afraid."

    As I shared, I think that part WOULD be hard. In fact, I think that would be the hardest part for me too, so I understand the apprehension a parent would feel - of letting go.

    "I’ll keep your garden analogy in mind from now on.

    Here’s why, if I hover then the light won’t be able to shine on my precious flowers, and if the light can’t shine on them, then they will wither."

    OMG....I LOVE HOW YOU SAID THAT, PAM!!!!!

    And something tells me, just from the energy of your words when you speak of your children on your blog, that you're an EXCELLENT parent!

    (((((( You )))))))

    Thanks oodles for stopping by, my friend.

    Wishing you a beautiful weekend too!

    X

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  34. Awww....I definitely see the resemblance to your Dad! What a handsome couple! I hope you have a wonderful weekend, Ron. Looking forward to the good news on Monday!!!! XO

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  35. Hiya Bijoux~

    Like father, like son - HA

    Thank you. Weren't they a cute couple?

    I can't wait to share the great news on Monday :)

    Mucho thanks for stopping by, my friend. Hope you have a great weekend too and that all is going well with your home!

    X

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  36. Ah, love the photo.... and such a beautiful post to go with it! It's always a joy to hear the good times families have. Yes, as you said, of course there were difficulties, but to remember so fondly all of the fun and love and highlight that is really wonderful. I enjoyed reading your thoughts about parenting too.
    You look alot like your father. And ooooh ooooh ooooh, can't wait to hear more about your mother. :)
    Hope you're enjoying a nice weekend. xo

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  37. Ron, what a sweet and loving post. It sounds like you had a wonderful childhood and wonderful role models and parents. You are very blessed.

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  38. Hey there Peg~

    Thank you. Yes, I do feel very blessed.

    I'm so looking forward to visiting my mother and brother the last week in June!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, dear friend. Hope you're having a spectacular weekend!

    Please tell Dwight I said, Happy Father's Day!

    X to you both!

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  39. this is a lovely post ron....so true too... and the photo of your parents looks so beautiful, they appear very contented. and they both look very sweet too, lucky you. :)

    best part of all is the little line at the end. i shall tune in and cannot wait to hear. we are having our grandkids for a week or so and they arrive tuesday so i may not get back to say much but know, i will read your update and send blessings her way as well as yours. xoxox

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  40. Helloooooooooo Linda~

    Aw...thank you, sweet lady. My brother Tom sent me this photo via email, so I wanted to share it on my blog. And I thought Father's Day would be the perfect time!

    "best part of all is the little line at the end. i shall tune in and cannot wait to hear."

    Yes, I will be sharing the great news on my Monday post. Can't wait!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, dear friend. And have a faaaaaaabulous time with your grandchildren. I bet you're so excited to see them, as well as they are to see YOU!

    Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

    (((((( YOU ))))))

    xoxoxoxoxoxox

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  41. Beautiful post, Ron. Love your analogy of gardening to parenting. Something tells me that you would be an excellent parent yourself.

    What a great looking couple your parents make!

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  42. Hey there Matt~

    Thanks, buddy. There is a part of me that would love to be a parent, but then there's another part of me that thinks I make a much better Uncle Ronnie ;)

    Always fab seeing ya, Matt. Mucho thanks for stopping by!

    Enjoy your Sunday!

    X

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  43. Herman TurnipJune 18, 2012

    *Applause*!

    I couldn't agree with you more, Ron. And on Father's Day, instead of focusing on me, Karin and I took Tyler to Old Town in Poway, CA, bought tickets to ride the steam engine, and let him run around the train yard shouting "All aboard!" to his heart's content.

    At the end, as we were loading a sleepy Tyler into to the car, Karin turned to me, kissed me, then said with a smile, "Happy Fathers Day!".

    *sigh* This was the best Father's Day ever! :-)

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  44. Hey there Herman~

    "At the end, as we were loading a sleepy Tyler into to the car, Karin turned to me, kissed me, then said with a smile, "Happy Fathers Day!".

    *teary-eyed*

    That was so BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    And yeah.....the BEST Father's Day EVER!

    Happy Father's Day, buddy!

    You're a prime example of what it's like to be a great gardener!

    X to you, Karin, and Mr. Tyler!

    P.S. Thank you for sharing that story. You MADE this post!

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  45. Parenting is as awful as it is wonderful, to put it simply.

    Thank you for sharing your story about your parents. They sound ADORABLE. And a lot like MY family! xoxoxo

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  46. Hiya Meleah~

    "Parenting is as awful as it is wonderful, to put it simply."

    Yup....I know it must be very challenging. Like a balancing act of knowing when to speak out and then when to allow a child to learn from their own choices.

    Yes, you're family reminds me A LOT of my family. Must be that ITALIAN - HA!

    Thanks for stopping by, girl! Have a FAB week!

    X

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  47. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Ciao bella!

    X

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  48. Hello Ronnie,

    Hey there, buddy!
    I am playing "catch-up" with the posts that I missed. This one is so sweet!
    Bless you. Your parents made a beautiful couple. Knock out gorgeous!

    I also will never know by experience for parenting. So, I too can only speak from the point of view as a daughter. But I tell you, it is the world's toughest job. I say from my own chidhood-young adult experience that most of us DON'T put ourselves in our parent's shoes and judge them too quickly. With age, health problems and then passing of my father, we understand and feel more. I guess it is sad that evolution takes so long but, better late than never.

    Thank you for sharing your story and photo. Very much enjoyed.

    xox

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  49. Bonjour Barb~

    Aw...thank you. Didn't they make a cool couple?

    RICKY and LUCY!!!!!

    "But I tell you, it is the world's toughest job. I say from my own chidhood-young adult experience that most of us DON'T put ourselves in our parent's shoes and judge them too quickly."

    You are sooooooooooo correct, Barb. It's as we get older, do we begin to see just how TOUGH that job is. There is a part of me that would love to be a parent, but I have to be honest and say that I don't think I would have the patience for it.

    Mucho thanks for stopping by, my friend. And I'm so glad your back!

    ((((( Barb )))))

    Enjoy the rest of your week!

    xox

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  50. Jay - Depp EffectJune 21, 2012

    .... and hope it doesn't get eaten by snails. Yes, you're absolutely right, Ron. And yes, it is difficult, but also incredibly rewarding!

    Your insight about independence is crucial, in my opinion. Our own way was to allow our boys to begin to make their own choices as soon as they could speak. 'Do you want the green t-shirt, or the red one, today'. 'Would you like apple juice, or orange juice?' That's how it begins. Gradually you allow more and more choices until the time comes when you find yourself saying 'If you don't get dressed right now, I'll be taking you to school in your pyjamas' - and the thing about that is that you have to be prepared to do it!

    With this approach, gradually allowing the children to learn by wrong choices over unimportant things, we hoped that when they came to be teenagers, they'd be strong enough and experienced enough to resist peer pressure to do things they knew would get them into trouble, and you know what? It worked. Apart from the odd, stupid mistake of little importance (like the half bottle of vodka leading to the older son staggering home with red, rolling eyes, telling us very, very loudly that he wasn't drunk), they got through their teenage years in one piece and are now level headed, moral, sensible adults.

    Your parents sound lovely. What fun your childhood must have been - and look! Your Dad has the same eyebrows as you do!

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  51. Hey there Jay~

    "....... and hope it doesn't get eaten by snails."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Too funny!!!!

    " Our own way was to allow our boys to begin to make their own choices as soon as they could speak. 'Do you want the green t-shirt, or the red one, today'. 'Would you like apple juice, or orange juice?' That's how it begins."

    Honestly, if I had a child I would be the same way because it slowly begins teaching them empowerment; even if those choices are small.

    "With this approach, gradually allowing the children to learn by wrong choices over unimportant things, we hoped that when they came to be teenagers, they'd be strong enough and experienced enough to resist peer pressure to do things they knew would get them into trouble, and you know what? It worked."

    Yahoooooooooooo! WAY. TO. GO.!!!!!!

    You ought to write a book on PARENTING, Jay!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your insight on this post. You've added MUCH!

    X

    P.S."Your Dad has the same eyebrows as you do!"

    HA! Yes, he and I had IDENTICAL eyebrows indeed!

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  52. You look so much like your dad :) Handsome man he was and your step-mom ....just beautiful.
    Love your gardening analogy, it's so true.

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  53. Hello again, Diana!!!!!!!!!!!

    Yes, everyone says I look so much like my dad and that makes me feel so proud!

    And thank you.

    Isn't my stepmom beautiful? And she still is.

    Thanks for stopping by, Kee- Kee!

    ((((( You )))))

    X

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  54. Hiya Mary~

    Thank you for your sweet words :)

    "of course there were difficulties, but to remember so fondly all of the fun and love and highlight that is really wonderful."

    You said, my friend. Whenever I think back on my childhood at home, there is always a swelling in my heart that remembers how loving it was. Both my parents were like kids themselves, so they always wanted us to have FUN. I truly feel blessed!

    Yes, so many people say I look just like my father.

    "Yup...you're Franks' son, alright!"

    Thanks so much for stopping by, neighbor! Hope you're enjoying a SUPA' weekend!

    X

    P.S. Happy Father's Day to you hubby!

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