Friday, June 15, 2012

On Being A Parent

The image you see above is of my biological father and present stepmother. This photo was taken right after my family moved to Florida in 1973.

There was a 21-year age difference between my parents.

When they married, my father was 43 and my mother was 22.

Most of my family members didn’t think their marriage would last because of the age difference, but my parents proved them wrong; lasting 30 years, until my father passed away in 1993.

The only way I can describe what it was like having my parents as parents is to say that they always reminded me of Ricky and Lucy in the TV show, I Love Lucy.

My father was the Italian version of Cuban, Ricky Ricardo. And my stepmother was the Irish/German version of Scottish, Lucy McGillicuddy.

Together they were the Ricardo’s. However in our case, it was the Carnavil’s.

And much of the same zaniness and craziness occurred in our home. I can honestly say that our home life was insanely FUN.

Did we also have rough and difficult times? Yes, of course we did, every family does.

I feel very blessed in having my parents as parents. Because when I look back on my home life, I see images of laughter, passion, generosity, and love.

Since Father’s Day is Sunday, I thought I’d share a post about my feelings on being a parent.

Actually, I can’t really say what it’s like being a parent because I’m not one myself. However, something tells me that it’s not an easy vocation.

It’s rewarding, I’m absolutely sure, but also challenging.

You want the best for your child, guiding and directing them so that they don’t ever hurt from their mistakes. But you also realize that you learned from your own mistakes, therefore there comes a time when a child needs to pick and choose on their own so that they learn to be independent; growing from their own choices.

Parenting seems to be a balance between attentively being there as needed, but then sensing when to ask questions that cause a child to think for themselves.

Parenting seems to be about empowering.

You release the reigns, trusting that how you nurtured your child will stay with them as they go out into the world, living the life they were meant to live.

And that has to be difficult, letting go and allowing.

The only way I can fully describe how I imagine what being a parent must be like is to compare it with being a gardener.

You plant a seed within fertile soil.

You water it with nourishing guidance.

Give it light to grow.

Allow space to expand its roots.

You fertilize it with encouragement and support.

You give it all the things that it needs to fully prosper.

And then you stand back, allowing it to blossom…..

Happy Father’s Day to all you awesome gardeners!

X

Note: Stay tuned on Monday, when I will be sharing an update on my mother. And without giving too much away, let me just say….it’s GREAT news!