Friday, August 24, 2012

School Supplies And Sin

Back in my archives, I probably have a half dozen posts I’ve shared about my school years, especially pertaining to the EIGHT YEARS I spent in Catholic school.

I prefer to think of those years as, "the eight years I spent not in a school, no, but rather the eight years I spent in a hard labor and discipline penitentiary, which periodically involved having my knuckles cracked with a 12-inch wooden ruler by a HOLY nun."

But I’m not bitter or anything.

To put it bluntly….I HATED school. I honestly don’t know how I ever got through those eight years. Catholic school was all about learning through the fear of GOD and that if you couldn’t recite your multiplication tables correctly, God would be very disappointed in you; resulting in SIN.

Personally, I don’t feel that teaching education and religion together is wise because it confuses a young mind into believing that God only loves you if you know the multiplication tables.

And overall, that’s what Catholic school taught when I was a lad.

School got a bit easier as I transferred over to a public high school. Public school was good for me because it had more of an open feel; blending children from diverse cultural backgrounds. But even still, I’m not a big advocate of structuralized education when it comes to me. I would have done much better had my parents just threw me into the street and said, “Okay Ronnie, LEARN.”

To tell you the truth, my most valuable education was when I got OUT of school because I began to investigate things and discovered that I learned better through research. I like to hunt for education.

The only real joy I ever got out of school was going shopping towards the end of the summer with my wild mother, and buying school supplies.

There was something so utterly exciting about getting all new school supplies, which included a new book bag to carry around the books I NEVER read.

Here were some of my staple school supplies….

A Protractor: I never fully understood what you really used this damn thing for, but I liked having one because I used to turn it upside down and draw happy faces with teeth, on the inside cover of my composition book while Sister Clare was teaching History (which was a SIN).

A Pink Eraser: This was an item I knew well because I used it constantly to erase all the mistakes I made in MATH. I enjoyed these erasers because of the way they smelled. I loved sniffing them (also a SIN).

A #2 Pencil: God forbid you wrote with anything OTHER than a #2 pencil because it was the only lead that was approved by the Catholic Archdiocese as not being a lead that was potentially SINFUL.

Glue Paste: This was another item I enjoyed smelling. There was nothing quite like the scent of glue paste. It was beyond faaaaaaabulous! Yes, and a couple times I actually TASTED it. One thing I loved doing with glue past was to smear a thin layer on the palm of my hand, wait for it to dry, and then peel it off like skin (big time SIN).

Crayola Crayons: There was nothing more heavenly than getting a fresh box of Crayola Crayons with a built-in sharpener. Crayons were another item I used to love smelling, especially when I first opened the box. I would sit there with my eyes closed in total olfactory rapture; inhaling their intoxicating aroma (SIN).

Well, it’s no wonder I did so poorly in Catholic school, spending every moment sniffing stuff; getting HIGH.

And living a life of SIN.

Okay, so let me see if I can remember my multiplication tables….

1 X 1 = 7
2 X 2 = 40
3 X 2 = 32

Holy OUCH!!!

Wishing you a SINFUL weekend everyone!

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