Friday, January 11, 2013

Driver's License And The Glamourpuss

I don’t know how it works where you live, but currently in Pennsylvania you can renew your driver’s license online or by mail. HOWEVER, once you receive your temporary renewal (camera card), you are required to go into a Driver License Center and have your picture taken to receive an actual new license.

Though years ago, if you didn’t desire to have a new photo for your updated license, you could just renew via mail or online. You would then be sent a renewal sticker that you could slap on the back of your old driver’s license and VIOLA….you were done!

Last October I renewed my driver’s license, but since I don’t drive a car and had so much going on with my mother and then the holidays at work, I wasn’t in any hurry to have my photo taken because I only use my license for an occasional I.D. purpose, like a check. Therefore, I decided to wait until this month, when I knew I would have more free time.

Okay, now can someone please tell me WHY this process is so PAINFUL!?!?!?!?

And can someone also please tell me WHY, that whenever you go to a Driver License Center, it feels as though you just walked into a convention for the People of Walmart?

That, or a convention for drug traffickers and ax murderers.

SCA-RY!

Anyway, Wednesday afternoon I went down to the Driver License Center to do the nasty deed. And when I walked in and saw how many BILLIONS of people were sitting in the waiting area, I almost threw myself on the floor and started POUNDING it.

I was given a number on a piece of paper (130) and was told to sit down and wait. When I looked at the illuminated number on the screen above, it read: 102, so I could see there were 28 people ahead of me. But surprisingly, the line moved faster than I thought it would. I probably only waited about 35 minutes, which I don’t think was bad at all.

I used that time to observe all the people in the room to amuse myself. One of which was a woman sitting directly behind me, who kept talking to herself and saying the same thing over and over, “This is fuckin’ ridiculous, I hate doing this shit! This is fuckin’ ridiculous, I hate doing this shit!”

And I was not the least bit offended by her words because she was merely verbalizing what I was thinking in my own head.

Suddenly….my number was called!

“Number 130 please come to counter 3.”

So I walked up to the counter, but was quickly intercepted by a crazed woman who RAN right in front of me and took my place. The young lady who was working looked at her and said, “I’m sorry Miss, but this gentleman is before you.”

Apparently, the woman who jumped in front of me didn’t hear her number (128) being called, so she assumed she could just take my place. Isn’t that special?  But instead of causing a scene, I let her go ahead of me.

Now this where the fun starts…

I sat and watched, as Miss 128 decided that before her photo could be taken, she needed a complete makeover. So she walked over to a mirror on the wall; took off her hat; then extracted a comb from her purse and proceeded to meticulously coif her hair as if she were Vidal Sassoon; then took out a tube of lipstick and applied it to her lips (I kid you not). Afterwards, she took one last look at herself in the mirror and smiled.

But that’s not the worst part.

After she had her photo taken, she decided she didn’t like it. So she asked to have it retaken.

*here in Pennsylvania, if you don’t like your first photo, you can have it taken again.

But not only did Miss 128 have it taken twice, she asked to have her photo taken a THIRD time.

And as I watched her going over her photos on the computer screen, as if she was carefully picking out the perfect photo for the September issue of Vogue, I wanted to scream, “IT’S A FUCKIN’ DRIVER’S LICENSE PHOTO, MISS 128. YOU’RE NOT AT GLAMOUR SHOTS!!!!”

But all in all it wasn’t a bad day.

I didn’t have to wait too long, I was verbally entertained by a woman sitting behind me, and last but not least…

I got to witness a glamourpuss.

Wishing you a GLAMOROUS weekend everyone!

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