Bird Poop Luck
There is a superstition that if a bird poops on you, it means you’ll be blessed with good luck.
*yeah, and if you believe that, you also believe the superstition that men with big feet have bigger penises
One day last week, I was out and about walking around the city for a couple of hours and felt like I needed a caffeine boost. So, I walked over to Barnes and Noble to grab a cup of coffee and to also check out some books I wanted to skim through.
I headed upstairs to the café and ordered my usual tall, bold blend. And when it came time to pay, I handed the cashier my debt card which she ran through the cash register and then handed it back to me. And as I placed my debt card back into my pocket, I looked down at the sleeve of my blue coat and saw this…
*not an actual photo, but close to what it looked like
And to make matters worse, I didn’t even respond indiscreetly about it, nooooooooooo, I suddenly blurted out so that the enter city of Philadelphia and Camden, New Jersey could hear me….”DAMN, SOME NASTY ASS BIRD POOPED ON ME!”
All I could think of was that I had probably been walking around ALL DAY with a big blop of bird feces on me and totally unaware; looking like a statue in New York City's Central Park.
The cashier looked over at my coat sleeve and so sweetly blushing said to me, “Oh…I’m so sorry, Sir.”
The poor thing didn’t know what to say, so she just apologized for the bird.
I proceeded to walk over to the condiment station and grabbed a handful of napkins to wiped off the poop, mumbling, "Shit! Shit! Shit!"
Last month, I took the train out to Chestnut Hill and had an awesome lunch at their indoor farmer's market.
And after eating, I needed to use the restroom. So, I walked in and went into one of the stalls and did my business.
While peeing, I heard someone come into the restroom but didn't think much about it.
After I was finished, I walked out of the stall and saw an elderly woman standing at the sink. And when she saw me, her eyes got big and she said, “OH MY!”
I suddenly stopped dead in my tracks like a deer caught in headlights and said, “OH. MY. GOD…did I just pee in the LADIES room????”
She said, “Yes…you did.”
I responded, "Excusez-moi."
Then the two of us LAUGHED our butts off!
Not wishing you a bird poop or an oops moment weekend, everyone!