Friday, February 22, 2013

Two Mortifying Stories


Bird Poop Luck

There is a superstition that if a bird poops on you, it means you’ll be blessed with good luck.

*yeah, and if you believe that, you also believe the superstition that men with big feet have bigger penises

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One day last week, I was out and about walking around the city for a couple of hours and felt like I needed a caffeine boost. So, I walked over to Barnes and Noble to grab a cup of coffee and to also check out some books I wanted to skim through.

I headed upstairs to the cafĂ© and ordered my usual tall, bold blend. And when it came time to pay, I handed the cashier my debt card which she ran through the cash register and then handed it back to me. And as I placed my debt card back into my pocket, I looked down at the sleeve of my blue coat and saw this…


*not an actual photo, but close to what it looked like

And to make matters worse, I didn’t even respond indiscreetly about it, nooooooooooo, I suddenly blurted out so that the enter city of Philadelphia and Camden, New Jersey could hear me….”DAMN, SOME NASTY ASS BIRD POOPED ON ME!”

All I could think of was that I had probably been walking around ALL DAY with a big blop of bird feces on me and totally unaware; looking like a statue in New York City's Central Park.

The cashier looked over at my coat sleeve and so sweetly blushing said to me, “Oh…I’m so sorry, Sir.”

The poor thing didn’t know what to say, so she just apologized for the bird.

I proceeded to walk over to the condiment station and grabbed a handful of napkins to wiped off the poop, mumbling, "Shit! Shit! Shit!"

-------------

Ooops!


Last month, I took the train out to Chestnut Hill and had an awesome lunch at their indoor farmer's market.

And after eating, I needed to use the restroom. So, I walked in and went into one of the stalls and did my business.

While peeing, I heard someone come into the restroom but didn't think much about it.

After I was finished, I walked out of the stall and saw an elderly woman standing at the sink. And when she saw me, her eyes got big and she said, “OH MY!”

I suddenly stopped dead in my tracks like a deer caught in headlights and said, “OH. MY. GOD…did I just pee in the LADIES room????”

She said, “Yes…you did.”

I responded, "Excusez-moi."

Then the two of us LAUGHED our butts off!


Not wishing you a bird poop or an oops moment weekend, everyone!
X

62 Comments:

  1. Hilarious post, Ron! I love the way you tell a story. Once and only once did a bird ever poop on me. I was walking through a park and if that damn bird didn't have perfect aim, hitting me right on the head! Fortunately I was on my way home, so I jumped in the shower and washed that crap out of my hair. Eeew!

    I've never walked into the ladies room by mistake, but know of several friends who that has happened to!

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  2. Hey Ho Robert~

    Thank you. I actually got the idea of sharing this post from another blogging friend of mine who after I shared a comment on one of her posts about walking into the ladies room by accident, and told me I should share it on my own blog. So, I ended up sharing BOTH these stories on one post.

    " I was walking through a park and if that damn bird didn't have perfect aim, hitting me right on the head! Fortunately I was on my way home, so I jumped in the shower and washed that crap out of my hair. Eeew!"

    Yes, the "park" seems to be the place that this happens to A LOT of people. The day this happened to me, I wasn't anywhere NEAR a park, so I have no idea where the bird poop came from.

    I guess it was a "fly-by-pooping" - HA!

    Thanks for stopping by, buddy. Have a stupendous weekend!

    X

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  3. Wait, you mean men with big feet don't... never mind.


    When I got to the "nasty ass bird" bit I laughed so hard my son jumped.


    WHen I was a teen, I was at a theater and during intermission, I walked into a room off the hall that had several upholstered chairs along the wall and a door in the back that people were walking in and out of. Men, actually, were walking in and out of. I just sat in one of the chairs for a bit, minding my own business when one of the seated men finally took pity on me, leaned forward and said gently, "Sweetheart, this is the MEN'S lounge."

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  4. Hiya Babs!

    Faaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous story!!!!!

    " I wondered what the large pool area was for, in a toilet. After I came out, I was told I had been in the men's toilet and that the pool was a communal urinal! Good gracious me!"

    HYSTERICAL!

    And yes, I have to agree with you about some men peeing in the most AWFUL way! I've seen those type communal urinals in certain restrooms here in the States as well. Quite frankly, I think the whole URINAL thing in men's restrooms is gross. I have never used a public urinal in a men's room because I could NEVER stand next to another man and PEE - I'm much too "pee shy."



    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a wonderful weekend!


    X to you and Mo!

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  5. Hey there Secret Agent Woman~

    "Wait, you mean men with big feet don't... never mind."

    Bwhahahahahahahahaha!

    And yes (at least in MY experience) it is not true.

    " I just sat in one of the chairs for a bit, minding my own business when one of the seated men finally took pity on me, leaned forward and said gently, "Sweetheart, this is the MEN'S lounge."



    OMG....that's HYSTERICAL!!!!


    But I would have thought the same as you, because I have never seen upholstered chairs in a MEN'S lounge before?!?!


    Thanks for stopping by and sharing that story, my friend! LOVED it!


    Have a super weekend!


    X

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  6. Somehow I knew you would never use a pool hahahaha!

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  7. Right you are, my friend!!!!!!

    OMG...I would rather go outside, even in the DEAD of winter, and pee in the FOREST!

    Bwhahahahahahhahaaha!

    X

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  8. I can't honestly say I've noticed one way or the other - in those moments, I'm not usually paying attention to their feet!

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  9. Bwhahahahahahahhahahaha!

    OMG...I just want you to know that I laughed so hard at your comment, I spewed my dinner out of my mouth!!!

    That was freakin' HYSTERICAL!!!

    X

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  10. Oh I know the feeling of being shat on by a bird so well!! Last year, when we were in Cornwall an effing seagul dive bombed me and covered my mac and white jeans in poop - I hate Seagulls!!!! I laughed at your 'toilet' mistake, easy done!

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  11. "fly-by-pooping"


    ROTFLMAO!

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  12. Good morning Pearl~

    " Last year, when we were in Cornwall an effing seagul dive bombed me and covered my mac and white jeans in poop - I hate Seagulls!!!!"

    OMG...that must have looked like a scene out of the movie, "The Birds!!!!!"

    When I lived in Florida by the beach, the seagulls were EVERYWHERE and would literally attack you if you had any food - HA!

    " I laughed at your 'toilet' mistake, easy done!"



    tee, hee!


    Thanks for stopping by, m'dear! Have a flawless weekend!


    X

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  13. I feel for you Ron, at least on the first mortifying episode. I've been the victim of seagull and pigeon bombings myself. so gross. I've not ever accidentally entered the wrong washroom, but often have to pause to consider which is which since establishments seem to prefer to provide "gender clues" these days rather than an actual label. and it so makes me nervous about misreading the clues. hope you have a great conference next week! xo

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  14. Hiya Diane~

    " I've been the victim of seagull and pigeon bombings myself. so gross. "

    Makes you wanna carry an umbrella and wear a rain coat - HA!

    " but often have to pause to consider which is which since establishments seem to prefer to provide "gender clues" these days rather than an actual label. and it so makes me nervous about misreading the clues."

    You know, I hadn't thought of that. Good point!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, girl. Have a super weekend!

    X to you and Cristybella!

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  15. See now, Ron. I was thinking SHE was the one in the wrong bathroom! I had to much faith in you that you got it right and she didn't. Ah, well. Now you can say you know what the ladies room looks like. Did you think it was cleaner that it should be? I'm guessing you did because I imagine every mens room looks like the aftermath of a frat party. Just sayin'.

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  16. Hey there Kathy!

    Now see, WHY didn't "I" think of that?!?! I just assumed I was in the wrong restroom - HA! But after I left, I checked on the door and did see the "girl figure" rather than the "boy figure."

    " I'm guessing you did because I imagine every mens room looks like the aftermath of a frat party. Just sayin'"

    Bwhahahahahahha! You're absolutely right....most of the time the men's room DOES look like the aftermath of a frat party! But I gotta say, (because I did go into the men's room afterwards) and it looked very clean. And what's really funny is that they had NO urinals, so both restrooms looked exactly the same.

    Thanks for stopping by, girl. Hope you're having a FAB weekend!

    X

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  17. OK, both had me in STITCHES!!!! I have walked around with bird poop on me... not sure if I have gone in the men's room or not.... but your answer to the lady? CLASSIC! XXXOOO

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  18. Hey there Katherine~

    So glad you had a giggle, my friend.

    " I have walked around with bird poop on me..."

    Isn't that the worst? And the most horrible part was that I didn't even know I had it on me until went into Barnes & Noble, so god only knows how long I was walking around with bird POO on my coat - HA!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, Katherine. Hope you're feeling better this evening.

    ((((((((((((((((( You ))))))))))))))))))))

    X ya!

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  19. OMG!!! You always make me laugh Ron!! I've been in both of these situations...yes I have!! So, I can totally laugh right along with you...now. At the time of the bird poop incident, it wasn't very funny. The men's room thing...has actually happened to me more than once!! Have a rockin' Sunday!! xo Jeanne

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  20. Good morning Jeanne~

    "The men's room thing...has actually happened to me more than once!!"



    Ha! it's great to hear that I'm not the ONLY one this has happened too!


    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, dear lady. Hope you're having a superb weekend!


    X to you and the girlz!

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  21. Dianne WilsonFebruary 24, 2013

    from the subtle humor of the coffee girl apologizing for the bird to the outrageous image of you and the elderly lady standing there this is just a delight!!


    you're a delight


    hugs from me and Hope

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  22. Hey there Lady Dianne!

    Aw...thank you, dear lady.....X

    And YOU'RE a delight as well!

    ((((((( You )))))))

    Hope you're enjoying a FAB weekend. Much thanks for stopping by!

    X and hugs to you and Hope!

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  23. I cannot stop laughing!! OMG.

    I've never had a bird shit on me - but I have used the wrong bathroom! Totally embarrassing!

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  24. Hey there Meleah~

    Tee, hee!

    " - but I have used the wrong bathroom! Totally embarrassing!"

    Yes.....TOTALLY embarrassing!

    And you haven't LIVED until you've had a bird shit on you. It's so delightful.

    Bwhahahahahahahahaha!

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, girl. Hope you had a fantabulous weekend!

    ((((((( You )))))))

    X

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  25. Herman TurnipFebruary 24, 2013

    Yeah, that whole "good luck bird poop" just doesn't fly with me. Whomever came up with that saying must have had a constant issue with birds targeting him. Or....thinking about it, when a bird craps on you, that's got to be the worst thing that could happen to you on any given day. Anything that happens from then on could only be considered "good" in retrospect.

    Argh...now I'm going to have to completely rethink my whole outlook on this bird poop issue. You, sir, have just turned my entire world upside down with one simple post! ;-)

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  26. Howdy Herman~

    "Whomever came up with that saying must have had a constant issue with birds targeting him."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah...I bet you're right!!!!

    "Or....thinking about it, when a bird craps on you, that's got to be the worst thing that could happen to you on any given day. Anything that happens from then on could only be considered "good" in retrospect."

    Bwhahahahahaha! Bravo! BRILLIANT reasoning!!!!!!!

    I think I read somewhere that that saying came from Asian country, which is where SO MANY of those superstitions came from.

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, buddy. Hope you had a terrific weekend!

    X to you, Karin, and Mr. Tyler!

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  27. Ron, I just want you to know that yesterday while I was walking through the park, I thought of this post. Luckily, no bird bombing!

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  28. HAHAHAHAHHAAHAH! CRACKED ME UP!!!!

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  29. Haha! Both stories reminded me of something. The first... 'Under the Tuscan Sun'! Remember the scene when she's looking at the villa and gets pooped on so the owner seeing that as a good sign sells to her!
    The second... OMG, that happened to me. I mean, I went into a men's room by accident. LOL Yeah, okay, I think I noticed a urinal, but there was only one, and only one stall toilet. I guess I thought maybe it was a shared restroom or something? Someone walked in and I think I coughed, to let whoever it was know there was someone in the stall. But I finished up quick, open the door and there's a guy standing there. I was like OMG! He was cool about it. He thought there was a woman in the stall so he was waiting to use the urinal. Nice of him. I was so embarrassed.

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  30. Hey there Mary~

    "The first... 'Under the Tuscan Sun'! Remember the scene when she's looking at the villa and gets pooped on so the owner seeing that as a good sign sells to her!"

    OMG....yes! yes! yes! I DO remember that scene! And that's right, the old lady sold her the house because when a bird poops on you....it means a 'good sign!'

    ". But I finished up quick, open the door and there's a guy standing there. I was like OMG! He was cool about it. He thought there was a woman in the stall so he was waiting to use the urinal."



    OMG...how funny! Thank god, both you and I had understanding people, right?


    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing both stories on this post, my friend!


    Hope you're having a super week!


    X

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  31. Lisa FischerMarch 01, 2013

    Ha! Your second post reminded me of the Twisted Christmas song by Bob Rivers called "The Restroom Door Said Gentlemen." Check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlIs27Z5Hrk - Yes, this is the way I roll.

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  32. Bwhahahahahhaahhahaha!


    Lisa, that video clip was HILARIOUS!!! LOVE your sense of humor!!!


    I may have to use that on my blog next Christmas!!!!


    Have a super weekend, Lisa!

    X

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  33. Mark PetruskaJuly 07, 2013

    Forgive me for chuckling over your pair of misfortunes. But...damn. LOL. :)


    I'm surprised the lack of urinals wasn't a dead giveaway. I'll bet your face was pretty FLUSHED when you realized your mistake! You must have left there pretty sPEEdily. Were you PISSed that you made that mistake?

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  34. nite byrdJuly 07, 2013

    Thank the Goddess that the woman was chill about you in the ladies room. If you had some psycho bitch in there, you would have had way more shit to worry about then what was on your sleeve! LOL


    I used a men's room once, 'cause - no line - but got trapped in the stall when a guy came in and proceeded to do his weekly grooming at the mirror! I wasn't taking any chances on coming out. ;)

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  35. Hahaha....you know I love a poop story......the only time I've been hit by a bird was in NYC, so probably a pigeon, which makes it even worse.

    Yesterday I was peeing in a dept store restroom and I heard the door open and a man's voice yell, "housekeeping!" I was stunned for a moment, and then I said, "I'm in here......I mean, someone's in here!" I thought only women janitors cleaned women's restrooms, at least during the day! Uncomfortable!

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  36. Oh Ron! You reminded me of the time I went into the loo, when I was at a function. I wondered what the large pool area was for, in a toilet. After I came out, I was told I had been in the men's toilet and that the pool was a communal urinal! Good gracious me! Some men pee in the most awful way ha ha ha! Thank goodness I was alone in there and didn't come out to a group peeing around the pool!

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  37. Hiya Mel~

    "LOL Bless that gal's heart for finding joy in the moment...she probably blogged about it too. Probably made her week!"

    HA! She was truly the sweetest lady. And you should have seen the look on her face when I walked out of that stall, it was PRICELESS. However, the look on my face was RED and VERY embarrassed :O

    "At a new golden arches I wanted the grand tour (complete with the manager in tow who couldn't talk fast enough....LOL) Seriously, hows come boys get to urinate on Ronald McDonald and girls get to stare at a stupid grey door?"

    OMG....how HYSTERICAL! And now you have very curious about the boys room at a McDonald's because I never noticed that before. The next time I'm on Walnut Street, which is where our one and only Center City McDonald's is located, I must check it out!

    "oh....I patio sit for hours on end in warmer weather. MY birdies are much more considerate that your city birdies. Ah small town living...maybe it's cuz I know 'em by first name? ;-)"

    Oh, how CUTE!!! Yes, city birds are VERY different. In a city, it's one BIG free-for-all poopie bathroom - HA!

    Thanks oodles for stopping by, dear lady. Wishing you a lovely weekend!

    (((((((( You ))))))))

    X

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  38. LOL Bless that gal's heart for finding joy in the moment...she probably blogged about it too. Probably made her week! But really...accidentally??………hahaha...I go into the men's room with great malice and forethought. At a new golden arches I wanted the grand tour (complete with the manager in tow who couldn't talk fast enough....LOL) Seriously, hows come boys get to urinate on Ronald McDonald and girls get to stare at a stupid grey door?


    oh....I patio sit for hours on end in warmer weather. MY birdies are much more considerate that your city birdies. Ah small town living...maybe it's cuz I know 'em by first name? ;-)

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  39. Howdy Mark~

    "Forgive me for chuckling over your pair of misfortunes. But...damn. LOL. :)"

    That's one of the greatest things I love about blogging. You can have something happened to you that's embarrassing or annoying, and then look back on it and find the humor in it, once you sit down and write it out.

    "I'm surprised the lack of urinals wasn't a dead giveaway."

    As I shared in my comment to Matt, I DID think it was kinda odd that there were no urinals, but then I brushed it off as being unisex restrooms. And brother...was I ever wrong.

    "I'll bet your face was pretty FLUSHED when you realized your mistake! You must have left there pretty sPEEdily. Were you PISSed that you made that mistake?"

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Mark, your play on words is freakin' HILARIOUS!!!

    Thanks for stopping by, bud. Have a terrific weekend!

    X to you and Tara!

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  40. "The poor thing didn’t know what to say, so she just apologized for the bird"

    Either she was truly an authentically nice person, or it was one of those "robotic" responses I was bitchin' about yesterday! As soon as you frown, the instant response is "I'm sorry."

    But it's funny, never-the-less! The darn birds who think they can do their business any darn where they please! Must be nice, eh?

    Oh the restroom incident! TOO FUNNY! I did that in a uni-sex restroom. I didn't lock the door and some guy got all upset. At least your bathroom "buddy" had a giggle over it. I think mine had a coronary.

    Have a fantabulous weekend!!

    ((HUGS))

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  41. Hiya Pam~

    "Either she was truly an authentically nice person, or it was one of those "robotic" responses I was bitchin' about yesterday! As soon as you frown, the instant response is "I'm sorry."

    No, I truly think she was simply embarrassed for me and just didn't know what to say.

    "The darn birds who think they can do their business any darn where they please! Must be nice, eh?"

    Exactly! I think the next I need to pee, I'll just lift my leg on a fire hydrant and see what kind of response I get - HA!

    " I did that in a uni-sex restroom. I didn't lock the door and some guy got all upset. At least your bathroom "buddy" had a giggle over it. I think mine had a coronary."



    Yes, that's happened to me before in a Starbucks bathroom where they had unisex restrooms. One time, someone didn't lock the door and I walked in a lady. OMG...she SCREAMED!!!!


    Thanks for stopping by, Pam. Have a fantabulous weekend!


    (((((( You ))))))


    X

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  42. Do you know what's really funny, Ron? The thing you shared about using the ladies room has happened to me before, twice! And both times I felt like a total idiot. The first time, no one had come into the bathroom while I was using it, so I didn't even realize it until I left the restroom and saw the woman figure on the door. The second time, a lady walked in on me. Both times I kept wondering why there were no urinals in the restroom!


    Never had a bird poop on me, nor do I ever want it to happen. Whether good luck, or not. Yuck!

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  43. Hiya Matt~

    " Both times I kept wondering why there were no urinals in the restroom!"

    You know, I thought the EXACT same thing, but then thought that maybe they were both unisex restrooms?!?!? When I came out, I looked at the door and discovered is WAS the ladies room, but never even noticed it - HA!

    "Never had a bird poop on me, nor do I ever want it to happen. Whether good luck, or not. Yuck!"

    TOTALLY yuck!!!!!!

    Thanks for stopping by, bud. Have a wonderful weekend!

    X

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  44. It would have been great if you peed on the bird that shit on your sleeve. I have not had the wonderful experience of a bird defecating on me but I do remember once during an outside graduation ceremony about 7 years ago when a flock of Canadian Geese flew overhead and let go on some poor old woman all dressed up with a wide brim hat and silk scarf. After those birds flew by she looked as if she were the poster child for waste management. All you could hear for 20 seconds were geese honking and bird farts and the poop splattering all over this woman. I guess she will remember here son's graduation for sometime.
    I have, though. gone into a ladies restroom to relieve myself. As I sat there in all my glory with my ass tooting the star spangle banner, I was oblivious to the fact that I was entertaining a bunch of women. The smell was needless to say not a bed of roses. When I finished I let out a sigh that only comes with a terrific dump. Opened the stall door and saw all the girls just looking at me with venom in their eyes. I just look back and said " wow do smell that?" They then looked at each other and did not know what to make of it. I then said that I was a Glade salesman and would they like to purchase a can.


    STINKY

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  45. Gooooooooood morning Dave~

    "It would have been great if you peed on the bird that shit on your sleeve."

    Oh boy....that would have been GREAT!!!!!

    " After those birds flew by she looked as if she were the poster child for waste management. All you could hear for 20 seconds were geese honking and bird farts and the poop splattering all over this woman. I guess she will remember here son's graduation for sometime."

    Bwhahhahahahahaha! I'm rolling on the floor dying of laughter!!! Dave, you are truly HILARIOUS!!!!

    " Opened the stall door and saw all the girls just looking at me with venom in their eyes. I just look back and said " wow do smell that?" They then looked at each other and did not know what to make of it. I then said that I was a Glade salesman and would they like to purchase a can."



    Bwhahahahahahahahhaha! Stop! Stop! You're KILLING ME, man!!!


    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your brilliant wit, my friend. I'll be thinking of you the next time I see a can Glade :)


    Have a wonderful weekend, buddy!


    X

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  46. Ron, once again you had me laughing my butt off at work this morning! I just about fell off my chair with your reference to the size of a mans feet and his penis. And yes, the two are not always the same, are they?


    Gratefully, I've never had a bird drop poo on me, but have a girlfriend who has and it was while walking through a park.


    I once used a men's restroom, but only because the women's room was out of order and I had to go bad. But I had someone watch the door, so they could alert any man coming into the restroom to wait.


    Have a wonderful weekend, Ron.

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  47. Hola Denise~

    " I just about fell off my chair with your reference to the size of a mans feet and his penis. And yes, the two are not always the same, are they?"

    I my experience? Noooooooooooo way! HAHAHAHAHHA!

    "I once used a men's restroom, but only because the women's room was out of order and I had to go bad. But I had someone watch the door, so they could alert any man coming into the restroom to wait."

    Yes, that's happened to me before too. And luckily the door had a lock, so I just locked it. And THANK GOD no women came to use the restroom while I was using it :)

    Thanks so much for stopping by, girl. Have a wonderful weekend too!

    X

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  48. Hi Ronnie,
    "Excusez-moi" or is our French running off on you since this past years?( Or else you have the hots for a French guy :) ).
    You had such luck to fall on a woman with a good sense of humor! Like Nyte bird said, it could have been a psycho!! It was not and you had one good hearty laugh!!
    My darling, it looks like you were the chosen one. I got partially bombed at a bus stop last Fall... some in my hair!
    There is really no advance notice; lets look at this as "bad bird karma flying around".... Live and let live
    Hugs to ya &Happy weekend, babe! xoxo

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  49. Bonjour Barb~

    ""Excusez-moi" or is our French running off on you since this past years?( Or else you have the hots for a French guy :) )."

    HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And I'm absolutely SURE I didn't pronounce it correctly when I said it. I probably said 'Excsuz em wha"

    "You had such luck to fall on a woman with a good sense of humor! Like Nyte bird said, it could have been a psycho!! It was not and you had one good hearty laugh!!"

    Exactly. But she was a very sweet lady, who was equally as shocked as I was, so we both had to laugh through our uncomfortablness. It felt like I was in an "I Love Lucy" episode!

    "My darling, it looks like you were the chosen one. I got partially bombed at a bus stop last Fall... some in my hair!"

    Love it, Barb....the CHOSEN ONE!!!!!

    "There is really no advance notice; lets look at this as "bad bird karma flying around".... Live and let live"

    Bwhahahahahhahaha! You said it!

    Thanks for stopping by, my friend. Have a wonderful weekend!

    X to you and D!

    "The Bird Man Of Alcatraz"

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  50. Hey the Lady Nitebyrd~

    "Thank the Goddess that the woman was chill about you in the ladies room. If you had some psycho bitch in there, you would have had way more shit to worry about then what was on your sleeve! LOL"

    HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! You are sooooooooo right! The two of us were both so startled by my mistake, that all we could do is laugh about it.

    "I used a men's room once, 'cause - no line - but got trapped in the stall when a guy came in and proceeded to do his weekly grooming at the mirror! I wasn't taking any chances on coming out. ;)"



    OH MY GOD....how HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!!!!


    Thanks for stopping by, Sis! Have a super weekend!


    X

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  51. Love it! At least the elderly lady had a great sense of humor!

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  52. Hiya Suzi~


    Yes, I was so happy that she had a great sense of humor about it. But you should have seen how FAST I ran out of that restroom!!!


    Thanks for stopping by, my friend. Have a wonderful weekend!


    X

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  53. okay on the big feet, if you say so, but um.. never mind.


    ha and ewwwww. bird poop on your sleeve. i would have to burn whatever i'm wearing or at least take it off. darn birds. i get mad when they poop on my car. i want to run a poop sample, find the bird, the pluck its wings.


    hahahhahaha. on the mix up in the bathroom. man i would have love to have seen that woman's face and yours. but eh, a hole is a hole is a hole. well almost. ;)

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  54. Hey there V Girl~

    "okay on the big feet, if you say so, but um.. never mind."

    Bwhahahahahahahahha!

    When you have time, read my response to Valerie's comment because I explain why I feel this way :)

    "i would have to burn whatever i'm wearing or at least take it off. darn birds. i get mad when they poop on my car. i want to run a poop sample, find the bird, the pluck its wings."

    OMG, you should have seen me. The second I got home, I washed my coat in the laundry room. And yes, when I was still driving and had a car, I felt the same way. Because bird poop is very damaging to car paint.

    ". man i would have love to have seen that woman's face and yours. but eh, a hole is a hole is a hole. well almost. ;)"



    Bwahahahahhahahahaha! Val...you CRACK ME UP!!!!!!


    Luckily for me, she had a sense of humor.


    Thanks for stopping by, girl. Have a terrific weekend!


    X

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  55. Gooood morning Bijoux~

    ".....the only time I've been hit by a bird was in NYC, so probably a pigeon, which makes it even worse."

    Yes, what is it about NYC and being hit with bird poop? Especially in Central Park where the statues are COVERED in it - HA!

    "Yesterday I was peeing in a dept store restroom and I heard the door open and a man's voice yell, "housekeeping!" I was stunned for a moment, and then I said, "I'm in here......I mean, someone's in here!" I thought only women janitors cleaned women's restrooms, at least during the day! Uncomfortable!"



    Yes, I don't blame you because I would have been uncomfortable myself. I mean I can see a man cleaning the restrooms at night, but not during the day.


    Thanks for stopping by, my friend. And thanks for sharing your stories!


    Have a super weekend......X

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  56. '*yeah, and if you believe that, you also believe the superstition that men with big feet have bigger penises'

    You mean.... it's not true...?

    Had a giggle at both these stories, Ron. I once received a dollop of bird poo ... right in my hair. I nearly died. I couldn't WAIT to get it washed out. Ugh! But be careful of taking Rob's advice about watching the skies.... that way you 'get it in the eye'.... haha.

    The tale of using the ladies loo was hilarious. I imagine the lavatory attendant had something to talk about for ages. I bet she boasted a bit, as well....whaaaa.

    Hope you have an enjoyable weekend, my friend.

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  57. Good morning Valerie~

    "You mean.... it's not true...?"

    Well, in MY experience....no. I once dated someone who was very tall and had HUGE feet. And lets just say...."The penis didn't quite match."

    Bwhahahahahahahhaha!

    "Ron. I once received a dollop of bird poo ... right in my hair. I nearly died. I couldn't WAIT to get it washed out. Ugh! But be careful of taking Rob's advice about watching the skies.... that way you 'get it in the eye'.... haha."

    I know exactly how you felt because I was PANICKED to get the bird poo off my coat. Yeah, and Rob is right...I need to pay closer attention to the skies :)

    "The tale of using the ladies loo was hilarious. I imagine the lavatory attendant had something to talk about for ages. I bet she boasted a bit, as well....whaaaa."



    There actually was no lavatory attendant in the restroom. It was just me and the lady. And OMG...we LAUGHED!!!


    Thanks for stopping by, dear lady. Have a super weekend!


    X

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  58. Rob LenihanJuly 07, 2013

    Bird poop! Walking into the ladies' room! You live an exciting life, Ron.

    I was walking with a friend in the Central Park Zoo a few years back when she felt this thump on her shoulder. It seems she was similarly anointed! A very kind lady gave my friend a baby wipe so she could purge the poop!

    So the moral of the story is keep watching the skies, but for crissakes, look where you're going!

    Have a great weekend, buddy!

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  59. Hey there Rob~

    "Bird poop! Walking into the ladies' room! You live an exciting life, Ron."

    HAHAHHAHHAHA! Yes, don't I live the most EXCITING life????

    "I was walking with a friend in the Central Park Zoo a few years back when she felt this thump on her shoulder. It seems she was similarly anointed! A very kind lady gave my friend a baby wipe so she could purge the poop!"

    Oh, how FUNNY!!! What is is about Center Park and bird poop????

    "So the moral of the story is keep watching the skies, but for crissakes, look where you're going!"

    Bwhahahahahahhaha! Will do, buddy. Will do!

    Thanks for stopping by, Rob. Have a grrrrrreat weekend!

    X

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