Vulnerability & Dress Rehearsing Tragedy


My inspiration for this post was sparked by author and public speaker, Brené Brown, whose words resonate with me.

This post is a combination of Brené’s research and insightfulness, and my own feelings from personal life experiences.

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As a child, I was taught to play life safe and not take chances. I was also taught not to get overzealous about my achievements and happiness because it would bring bad luck and those things might be taken away, causing me to believe that tragedy could strike at any moment, so I must be prepared.

I was also taught that pessimism was safer than optimism, because that way I wouldn’t be disappointed if things didn’t turn out well.

It took me many years to realize that if I wasn’t willing to take chances by not playing it safe, then I would never know joy. And that it was perfectly fine for me to celebrate my achievements because I had worked for them and was worthy.

But I have to admit, I still have brief moments of thinking the way I was taught, by allowing thoughts of “what if something happens” to creep into my mind when things are going smoothly.

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Have you ever noticed how when we experience times of great joy, we quite often experience simultaneous feelings of fear?

And I believe the reason for this is because I don’t think we take the time to fully enjoy joy because our thoughts are elsewhere.

Our minds are sometimes focused on what we anticipate might happen to that joy…

“Nothing lasts forever.”

“I've had such bad experiences with relationships in the past, so what if it happens again?”

“I don’t want to enjoy my success too much because what if I eventually fail?”

“I’m going to stay right in the middle and remain emotionally neutral, because it’s safer there.”

It’s like we try to prepare ourselves for tragedy by doing a dress rehearsal, so we’re not caught off-guard when it happens.

Yet by doing this, we never fully experience the joy.

And I've done this myself before. I've created entire tragic scenarios of 'what if's' before they ever even happened, just to cover my bases in case they did happen. So I wasted all that time not experiencing the joy.

Personally, I think joy makes us feel vulnerable. And vulnerability causes fear because with vulnerability, there is no guarantee.

Vulnerability is the “what if.”

Brené shared something which I thought was very profound.

She said, “When we lose our tolerance to be vulnerable, joy becomes foreboding because we try to beat vulnerability to the punch.”

And I think she’s right. We play it safe by either not taking a chance, or we prep ourselves for tragedy.

But the catch to this is that when we play it safe, we prevent ourselves from feeling all the good stuff too.

Unless I allow myself to take risks and feel vulnerable, I also risk not ever experiencing joy.

Brené also shared, that in those moments of joy, instead of focusing on the tragedy of the 'what if's', stay focused on gratitude. Because when we focus on being grateful for what is present, that's what we experience.

The JOY.

Have a fantabulous Monday, y'all!


More Information on Brené Brown:
Videos & Press
Books & CD's

64 comments

  1. I'm experiencing the JOY of YOU, my friend!! I am always second guessing...that's the reason my husband calls me "Dr Doom". I always think of the what-if's!! Have a superb Monday Ron! xo

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  2. Good morning, Ron. All sorts of expressions went through my mind as I read this post. 'Don't tempt providence', 'don't make a fool of yourself', and 'what will people think?'. The insecurity of thought and the fear of losing something good are both difficult emotions to deal with but deal them we must or life would not be worth living.

    'Unless I allow myself to take risks and feel vulnerable, I also risk not ever experiencing joy.'



    Well said, my friend (((YOU))).

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  3. I agree that joy can make you feel vulnerable. It reminds me of how children are so easily overjoyed by simple things and they do not hide it. You can see the look of joy on their faces. Somehow, in the early teen years, it becomes uncool to feel joy, so they bury those feelings. And most of us stay that way.

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  4. This post comes at the perfect time for me. As you know I am in a new relationship and instead of enjoying the moment I am constantly living in fear of it ending the way all others have. I try to change my mindset but its a hard thing to alter. I like what you said here though. By living in a state of fear because I am vulnerable I am not truly enjoying the gift I do have in this moment. Its okay to be happy, we cant control the "what ifs". LOVED this post Ronnie!

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  5. Ron, I absolutely love this post! It's like you're reading my mind!


    I have been playing it safe for so many years, worrying what will happen if one thing or another doesn't work out!


    And all I got for my trouble was a heart full of regret for not being more daring.


    I posted a saying on my Facebook page the other day that said "Take Risks. If you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise." There are no guarantees in life and in order to succeed at anything you have to take risks.


    I confess I don't know Brene Brown but thanks to you I intend to check her out. She sounds like a very insightful person.


    Thanks so much for writing this post, buddy. Your timing could not have been better for me!


    Take care and have a fabulous week!

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  6. I was brought up much the same as you. It takes much time to undo this conditioning and sometimes still lapse into it...noticing that we do this is a big step in the right direction. Brene Brown has such wise words...but you already know I am a fan!

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  7. Ron, I read this post two times and will probably come back and read it again because this is a topic I can identify with very well. What you shared here is so true! I am one of those people who will focus on the what if's before they ever happen.

    "“When we lose our tolerance to be vulnerable, joy becomes foreboding because we try to beat vulnerability to the punch.”



    Profound indeed because it's true.


    And I like what Brene said about focusing on gratitude because that's the key, staying in the moment and enjoying the joy so we fully experience it. When I get home from work today, I'm going to check out the additional information you shared on Brene because I think it will something I can benefit from.


    Thank you so much for sharing the post today, Ron. Excellent! Have a wonderful week x

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  8. I have a philosophy that covers this - If it doesn't feel good, don't do it. If it feels good and right, do it.


    That is all.

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  9. " I always think of the what-if's!! "


    I think MANY of us do that, Jeanne. I know I do at times. And I think it's probably something were either taught growing up or something we learn through our life experiences.


    Yet as Brene shared, when we do this we bypass the experience of joy in that moment.


    Much thanks for stopping by, dear lady. Have a SUPERB Monday!


    X

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  10. Good morning Valerie!

    " 'Don't tempt providence', 'don't make a fool of yourself', and 'what will people think?'."

    Yes, exactly!

    "The insecurity of thought and the fear of losing something good are both difficult emotions to deal with but deal them we must or life would not be worth living."



    I LOVE how you said that! And THANK YOU because you're spot on!


    ((((( YOU )))))


    Much thanks for stopping by, dear lady. Have a lovely week!


    X to you and Joe!

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  11. Hey there Bijoux!

    " It reminds me of how children are so easily overjoyed by simple things and they do not hide it. You can see the look of joy on their faces."

    Yes! Yes! Yes! And thank you SO MUCH for bringing that up because it's a PERFECT example to us as adults, of how to enjoy joy, while it's happening. This is why I love being around children so much because they don't hide anything.

    " Somehow, in the early teen years, it becomes uncool to feel joy, so they bury those feelings. And most of us stay that way."



    Exactly.


    Thanks so much for stopping by and adding your insight to this post topic! Have a super week, my friend!
    X

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  12. Hey there Shae!

    Yes, I've done the same thing when it comes to past relationships, so I know exactly what you mean.

    And I LOVE what said here...

    "Its okay to be happy, we cant control the "what ifs""



    No, we can't. And most of time the "what if's" never happen. And if do, at least we dared and took the risk at experienced the JOY.


    Much thanks for stopping by and sharing on this post topic, girl. Have SUPER week!


    X

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  13. Hey there Rob!

    "I have been playing it safe for so many years, worrying what will happen if one thing or another doesn't work out!"

    Yes, I've done that myself at times, so I know what you mean.

    "And all I got for my trouble was a heart full of regret for not being more daring."

    "Daring"

    It's so ironic you mentioned that word because Brene actually has a book out that is entitled, "Daring Greatly" which exactly about that topic.

    "Take Risks. If you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise." There are no guarantees in life and in order to succeed at anything you have to take risks."

    I freakin' LOVED that, Rob, because you're right...there ARE no guarantees in life. But at least if we take a chance/risk, we tried. And that's success.

    "I confess I don't know Brene Brown but thanks to you I intend to check her out. She sounds like a very insightful person."



    Check out the links I left at the bottom of this post because you'll be able to watch a few of her TED talks on video. She's AWESOME because she's very real and honest.


    Much thanks for stopping by, buddy. Have a most excellent week!


    X

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  14. Hey there Suzi!

    " It takes much time to undo this conditioning and sometimes still lapse into it...noticing that we do this is a big step in the right direction."

    You're so right....NOTICING that we do these things is a BIG step in the right direction.

    " Brene Brown has such wise words...but you already know I am a fan!"



    Isn't she FAB? I knew you would love her wisdom!


    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have grrrrrreat week!
    X

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  15. Hola Denise!

    " I am one of those people who will focus on the what if's before they ever happen."

    I do the same thing sometimes. I think many people do.

    "Profound indeed because it's true."

    When I heard her say that on one of her interviews, I played that part over and over again and thought, YES!

    "When I get home from work today, I'm going to check out the additional information you shared on Brene because I think it will something I can benefit from."



    She's got a lot of wonderful stuff on her website so yes, check it out. She even has videos that you can watch which are awesome. She's a very cool lady because she's very frank and down to earth.


    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, girl. Have a wonderful week too!


    X

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  16. I played it safe when I was younger, now I'm 'getting on a bit' I don't worry, if I want to do it I do it. :)

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  17. Thanks so much for sharing your insight, Dale!

    " If it feels good and right, do it."



    Have a faaabulous week, buddy, and thanks for stopping by!


    X

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  18. " now I'm 'getting on a bit' I don't worry, if I want to do it I do it. :)"


    Isn't it something how as we get older, there comes a certain freedom?


    Have a wonderful week, m'dear! And thank you for stopping by!


    X

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  19. "Playing it safe" is over-rated, Ron. Yes, we need to be cautious (as many times as I've fallen, I have to get back up!), and we can't run roughshod through life like a crazed animal, but taking time to savor "the good stuff" is vital! How else can we endure the bad things, if not for the hope of good things to come?

    I'm blessed to have inherited (thanks, Daddy!) a propensity for optimism. No glass is half-empty to me; it's half-full. I refuse to be drawn into the Murphy's Law of life, wherein anything bad that can happen, will. Just call me Little Debbie Sunshine, haha!

    Happy Monday to you and stay warm in the cold that's forecast this week!

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  20. Ron, what a provocative and inspiring post!

    "Personally, I think joy makes us feel vulnerable. And vulnerability causes fear because with vulnerability, there is no guarantee."



    I never thought it that way but you're right. Vulnerability does make you feel fear because there is no guarantee when we take a risk. But it's better to take a risk than not, just because we're afraid of the what if's, that may or may not ever happen; missing out on the joy.


    Great post, dude!

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  21. David OliverFebruary 24, 2014

    Yep, all my life I've heard doomsday scenarios...what if we have another great depression? War? Get sick...etc., etc.


    Scarlett Ohara, in Gone With The Wind, was fond of saying, "I'll think about that tomorrow."


    I almost agree but I won't think about it tomorrow. I'll think about that when and if it happens. Until then I'll try my best to enjoy my life and key word here being JOY.

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  22. David, I LOVE your analogy to "Gone With The Wind" because it's brilliant!!!

    "I almost agree but I won't think about it tomorrow. I'll think about that when and if it happens. Until then I'll try my best to enjoy my life and key word here being JOY."



    You GO, boy!!!!


    MUCH thanks for stopping by and sharing on this post topic, buddy. Have a faaaaaaabulous week!


    X

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  23. Hiya Matt!

    "Vulnerability does make you feel fear because there is no guarantee when we take a risk. But it's better to take a risk than not, just because we're afraid of the what if's, that may or may not ever happen; missing out on the joy."



    Exactly! And that's something that I need to remind myself whenever I'm hesitant to do something just because I'm afraid of what may or may not happen. And also to savor the joy; not worrying what's going to happen to it.


    Thanks so much for stopping by, buddy! Have a most excellent week!


    X

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  24. Mark PetruskaFebruary 24, 2014

    I think your attitude is largely influenced by whether you are an optimist or pessimist by nature. Not giving in to love because you've been hurt in the past, for instance, is a very negative way to look at life, and can only set you up for future failure (e.g. self-fulfilling prophecy). This is why I always choose to look at the glass as being half-full. Despite a slew of failed relationships, when Tara came along, I didn't shy away from love because "she might be crazy like the others." Instead, I embraced it, confident in my belief that she was different. Sure enough, I was proven right, and now look at us!


    Thanks for the thoughtful and insight-laden post.

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  25. Well - I guess maybe my health issues are a blessing in a way - because when I AM having a GOOD DAY - I literally enjoy every single second, minute, hour, to it's absolute fullest. It's almost like I am stock piling the joy - before another bad day strikes and ruins everything!

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  26. I struggle with that very thing. Getting too optimistic only to have my hopes and dreams dashed. So I expect the worst and then I'm never disappointed. Yeah, like I said, I struggle with that in light of my faith that encouraged me to focus on joy. But I'm a work in progress and with the help of God, I'll get there eventually! :-) Great insight and post for the day.

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  27. I learned this lesson a while back, but sometimes it's better to be safe for short periods of time to allow your heart to heal. But if you stay in the present, you don't need to protect yourself, this is the conundrum!

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  28. Benze, I LOVE how you said this because it's SO true!

    "But if you stay in the present, you don't need to protect yourself."



    And you're right, sometimes it is better to be safe for short periods of time to HEAL, I agree!


    MICH thanks for stopping by and adding your insight to this post, my friend! Have a SUPER week!


    X

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  29. Hey there Lisa!


    I think we ALL do that at times, you're not the only one. And I think it's almost a protection devise, just in case things don't turn out the way we had hoped.


    But as you said....it's a work in progress. We learn as we go along.


    Much thanks for stopping by and adding your thoughts and insight to this post topic, my friend. And thank you for your honesty.


    Have a FANTABULOUS week...X

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  30. "I guess maybe my health issues are a blessing in a way - because when I AM having a GOOD DAY - I literally enjoy every single second, minute, hour, to it's absolute fullest."


    Yes Meleah! And that is what I sooooooo admire, respect and love about you. Because you ALWAYS look for the good (and humor). And yes, maybe your health issues are a blessing, because you REALLY know how to enjoy JOY, so you're ahead of the rest of us.


    (((((((((((((((( You )))))))))))))))


    Thanks so much for stopping by and catching up on my blog posts. You're a sweetheart!


    X ya, girl!

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  31. "This is why I always choose to look at the glass as being half-full. Despite a slew of failed relationships, when Tara came along, I didn't shy away from love because "she might be crazy like the others." Instead, I embraced it, confident in my belief that she was different. Sure enough, I was proven right, and now look at us!"



    BRAVO, Mark! And I so admire and respect you for that because I remember back then, when you and Tara first met and you talked about that on your blog, but you went ahead and took a risk and succeeded!


    And you are probably one of THE most optimist and positive people I know.


    Cheers!


    Thanks so much for stopping by, buddy. You've add much to this post!


    X to you and Tara!

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  32. Aw. Thank you. And, well, at least these annoying medical issues are finally good for SOMETHING! Right?

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  33. I gotta own, straight out of the gate, that I struggle with the use of the word 'vulnerable'...people ask others to be willing to BE vulnerable with others, which means 'open to attack'. In no way, shape or form do I believe that's what she means in the Daring Greatly experience...LOL. I ain't owning how many times I tossed the book based on that one quirk of mine. Be REAL, be GENUINE, be AUTHENTIC, be HONEST...DARE to be those things and experience the JOY you cheat yourself out of by withholding those things out of fear. Your photo says it....thief of joy. That's what fear is.
    I think I had a life changing experience when the doc told me to get my affairs in order. Spend what I had left in fear, or decide to live in the day you were gifted. Not that I do that perfectly, but I learned a new level of 'living in the moment', of living 'one day at a time'.
    Yep...'anticipate the worst, that way you're never disappointed' got a lot of air time in my life. And the bottom had to fall out AGAIN in order for me to get off the dime and outta the desert on that one.
    I have LOTS of joy...every day. Buckets full. And I make sure I stay grateful....and if I slack off, you and a few dozen others will remind me...LOL...thank goodness. ;-)

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  34. OMG Mel, so you've READ her Daring Greatly book already? I haven't read it yet, I only watched a DOZEN video clips of her talks over the weekend, and loved her because she's direct and honest.

    And yes, she did say A LOT of things that pushed my buttons, but I think that's good thing, because it means I have something to learn.

    "I gotta own, straight out of the gate, that I struggle with the use of the word 'vulnerable'."

    Yup...I think MANY of us feel that way about vulnerability because it can be very scary.

    As you shared...

    ".thief of joy. That's what fear is."

    "Spend what I had left in fear, or decide to live in the day you were gifted. Not that I do that perfectly, but I learned a new level of 'living in the moment', of living 'one day at a time'."

    I don't think ANY of us do it perfectly, or even do it all the time, but at least you're aware, and that's a HUGE step in the right direction.

    Living in the moment.

    Thanks oodles for stopping by and sharing on this post, dear lady. Thank you!

    Have a fantabulous week.....X

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  35. Ron, I can't believe you posted about Brene Brown today because I read one of her books, "The Gifts Of Imperfection" and loved it. I have also watched her TED talks and enjoyed them so much. I have to get her most recent book next, "Daring Greatly."



    I like her because she doesn't come from a woo-woo New Age way of thinking. Her wisdom comes from real-life experiences and research. And she is also very honest about her own struggles. She's very real.


    I find her teachings to be extremely true!

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  36. Hey ho Robert!

    You know of Brene Brown?!?! Oh, how faaaaabulous! I had only heard of her last week and immediately felt drawn to her. I watched about DOZEN video clips and found a lot of truth in what she said. It really resonated with me.

    "I like her because she doesn't come from a woo-woo New Age way of thinking. Her wisdom comes from real-life experiences and research. And she is also very honest about her own struggles. She's very real."



    Exactly! She's extremely real (and also very humorous). And yes, she speaks very candidly about her own struggles, which I like because it means that she's honest about how this is a continued practice, not just something you attain only once.


    Thanks soooooo much for stopping by, buddy, and letting me know that knew of Brene Brown. How cool is that!


    Have a terrific week!!!!
    X

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  37. Right!


    And do you know what I think? I have a feeling that all this stuff that you've been going through with these health issues is going to be something that you end up writing a BOOK about. And all the WISDOM it has taught you!


    I just know it!


    X

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  38. Yup...been there, read the book. Loved the message so much I had my leadership read it. LOL. I obviously got over her use of the word 'vulnerable' and just listened to the message. Awesome read...grab it if you get the chance.
    I came back to let you know I loved the Tony and Amy show...I'm a sucker for the oldies, bluesies...such a sad waste of a life to the disease of addiction. Thanks for the tune, though. I enjoyed it hugely.

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  39. Maybe one day! That would kind of be a miracle!

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  40. "Have you ever noticed how when we experience times of great joy, we quite often experience simultaneous feelings of fear?"


    hmmm, i can't say that i have, ron. maybe it depends on what i'm joyous about. i would want it to last forever. maybe it's just me not worrying too much about which i cannot control. i do what i can and whatever happens, happens. shrugs. i'm not very insightful today. :(

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  41. Hi Mel!

    Yes, I'm probably going to pick up her book tomorrow. Can't wait to read it!

    "I came back to let you know I loved the Tony and Amy show."



    Thank you! Isn't the clip fabulous? I LOVE that song, and the two of them do such a great job because their voices are so perfectly suited for each other.


    And yes, it's so sad about the loss of Amy because she was SUCH a talented young lady with a one-of-a-kind voice!


    X

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  42. Hey Val!

    "maybe it's just me not worrying too much about which i cannot control."



    That's AWESOME because that's how we ALL should be. Enjoy joy in the moment, and not worry about it.


    Great attitude, girl!


    Thanks a bunch for stopping by and have a fantabulous week!


    X

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  43. Ha ha as you read a few days ago... I play it safe WAY TOO MUCH. I let everyone control me for fear of "what if".... I need to stop that!

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  44. I really do like Brené Brown and enjoyed the TED talk of hers that I watched. And it's so, so hard to be hurt and then let yourself be open again. You'd think I'd be a master at it by now, but each time I want to just curl up for a bit. Maybe that's okay as long as it isn't long-term, though. Because I really do crave the feeling of joy too much to protect myself for long.

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  45. Katherine, I think we all do that sometimes. I know I do.


    If you have a chance and feel like it, visit the video&press link I left at the bottom of this post and watch Brene's TED talks. They're WONDERFUL!!!


    (((((((((( You ))))))))))


    X ya, my friend!

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  46. "I remember being in Silver Springs in FL and the squirrels were so tame they came and ate out of your hand... it was so cool!"

    Aren't they AWESOME? I have only just discovered Brene Brown last week, and was moved by her talks. I have to get her latest book and read it.

    "And it's so, so hard to be hurt and then let yourself be open again."

    You're absolutely right, it is hard.

    "Maybe that's okay as long as it isn't long-term, though."

    Yes, I think we do need time to heal, regroup and take time to learn what we learned from the experience about ourselves, so that we can take that to the next time.

    "Because I really do crave the feeling of joy too much to protect myself for long."



    Amen, girl!


    (((((((((((( You ))))))))))))


    Thanks so much for stopping by and adding your thoughts and feelings to this post topic. You've added much!


    Have a super week.....X

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  47. Herman, I love how you said this...

    "It's only when we try things that might seem "out of the box" do we realize that our limitations are nothing more than false labels."

    *clapping*

    That is sooooooooooooooo TRUE!!!!

    "If you never try, you'll forever wish that you had."



    Yes, and that's the thing...as least if we try, we can look back and say we did it.


    Much thanks for stopping by and adding your thoughts and insight to this post topic, buddy!


    Have a super-duper week!


    X to you, Karin, and Mr. Tyler!

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  48. Yup...I just KNOW it!


    X

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  49. I'm a great believer in taking chances and trying new things. I am an optimist and see things from a that point of view. It is better to try and fail, than never try, in my book. Never trying closes you off and you will never find out who you can be. When you fail at something, in the words of that song: 'Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again'. Successs AND failure is what makes you grow as a person.

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  50. Babs, I LOVED your comment!!!!!!!!!!!

    "It is better to try and fail, than never try, in my book. Never trying closes you off and you will never find out who you can be. Success AND failure is what makes you grow as a person."

    And you are so right, my friend!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your awesome words of inspiration. You're added MUCH to this post topic!

    Have a super week!

    X to you and Mo!

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  51. Hello there Geraldine!

    "I think the fear factor is something we all grapple with."

    I do too. And I think it's only natural. But as you shared, what is life without the willingness to let go and take chances? I fear may things, but I don't like being afraid, so I push through them because I would rather try than not try and wonder.

    You summed up this post so well with this...

    " And the reality is, the highs won't last forever, the rain will come again, the losses, the broken hearts....but if we can say we went for it and the sun came out to warm our souls and we soared way up high... however brief at times that might be, it IS all worthwhile."

    BEAUTIFULLY stated!!!!!!!

    Much thanks for stopping by and sharing your insight on this post, my friend. You've added much!

    Have a faaaaaabulous week!
    X

    P.S. It's been very cold, and we're expecting snow tomorrow. Although, it's been almost spring-like the past couple of days. Sunday was GORGEOUS!

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  52. Ron, I enjoy your heartfelt, thought-provoking posts so much.


    As a child I too learned to play it safe. I wasn't taught this lesson on purpose, but I learned it because my childhood wasn't "safe" so in order to survive, I put up safety nets and walls.


    I thought that I could avoid pain if I prepared for the "what if's" and the inevitable tragedies. It took me until my late 30's before I learned that it didn't matter HOW I thought, things were going to happen or they weren't, so I might as well enjoy my life and stop waiting for the other shoe to drop (it would drop or not anyway).


    It's still a little scary thinking positive and optimistic but it feels so much better than looking for the boogie man in every nook and cranny! And of course there are going to be times when things do go bad or tragedy does strike, that's just life, but I can enjoy the good while it's here.


    I look back on my life and I see that I played it safe a lot which resulted in me not taking some chances. Those chances could've led somewhere, but since I didn't take them I'll never know now. I tell my boys they have to "try" and not be afraid to fail because at least they tried. They have to take strides, not baby steps and go against the grain. I can only hope they follow that advice.


    And I totally agree that joy makes us vulnerable. Fear leaves us paralyzed and unable to feel. Joy makes us FEEL. To live fully we must feel.


    It's joyous to live and feel.


    Thank you for sharing this, Ron!


    I hope your week is fantabulous!


    (((HUGS)))

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  53. Helloooooooo there Pam!

    Faaaaabulous comment, my friend, because you shared so much of what many us feel about this topic of being vulnerable and taking chances!

    " It took me until my late 30's before I learned that it didn't matter HOW I thought, things were going to happen or they weren't, so I might as well enjoy my life and stop waiting for the other shoe to drop (it would drop or not anyway)."

    It's so ironic that you mentioned being in late 30's when you came that realization because I too was in my 30's when I realize this as well. The 30's were a HUGE self-examining decade for me.

    "It's still a little scary thinking positive and optimistic but it feels so much better than looking for the boogie man in every nook and cranny! And of course there are going to be times when things do go bad or tragedy does strike, that's just life, but I can enjoy the good while it's here."

    How true that is because that's what it was like for me when I first found out about my mother having cancer; not knowing how long she had. But it taught me to enjoy the moments we had with her while she was still alive.

    "Joy makes us FEEL. To live fully we must feel. It's joyous to live and feel."

    LOVED that, Pam!!!!!

    MUCH thanks for stopping by and sharing your life experience and insight on this post topic. You've added MUCH!

    Have a fantabulous week!

    (((((((( You ))))))))
    X

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  54. Ron, wanted to let you know that I watched the videos on Brene's site last night and really enjoyed them! I have to get her latest book.

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  55. So glad to hear you enjoyed her videos, Matt! Aren't they awesome? Yes, me too...I've got to get latest book this week!


    Thanks for stopping back, bud!

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  56. You're welcome! And thanks for introducing me to her!

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  57. The AspirerMarch 01, 2014

    Ron, you always seem to say things that I've been thinking myself lately, only in words that can express them much more clearly and concisely. It is hard to enjoy life when so much is going wrong, but when life loses its joy, it loses everything that makes it worthwhile. I've definitely been guilty of playing it too safe in my life, and it has cost me much more than it would have to take a few risks; thanks for the inspiring words!

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  58. " It is hard to enjoy life when so much is going wrong, but when life loses its joy, it loses everything that makes it worthwhile."

    Nathaniel, I loved how said that because it's soooooo TRUE!

    " I've definitely been guilty of playing it too safe in my life, and it has cost me much more than it would have to take a few risks.."



    And me as well, buddy, me as well. I've hesitated many times out of fear, and yet fear has been one of my greatest teachers.


    Thanks so much for stopping by, buddy. You always add much to my post topics!


    X

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  59. I have a co-worker who went to a VERY religious "born again" type school attached to a giant local church. He wrote a paper on how he was proud of something he had done. The teacher told him it was terrible. You should NEVER feel proud of yourself... how horrible is that. So some people are being TAUGHT that!!

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  60. "The teacher told him it was terrible. You should NEVER feel proud of yourself.."

    OMG, Katherine....and this person is a TEACHER!?!?!?

    UN-believable!

    X

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  61. Herman TurnipJune 04, 2014

    It's only when we try things that might seem "out of the box" do we realize that our limitations are nothing more than false labels. I say do what feels right, but be responsible. As long as you have a backup plan, hey...go for it! If you never try, you'll forever wish that you had.

    Great post, my friend!

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  62. Hey there Debbie!

    I LOVE what you shared here...

    "Yes, we need to be cautious (as many times as I've fallen, I have to get back up!), and we can't run roughshod through life like a crazed animal."

    Exactly! And there is a HUGE difference between that and not doing something just because we're afraid to take a chance, or not taking the time to savor the joy we experience in our lives; believing that something will take that joy away. Because as you so brilliantly said...

    "but taking time to savor "the good stuff" is vital! How else can we endure the bad things, if not for the hope of good things to come?"

    "I'm blessed to have inherited (thanks, Daddy!) a propensity for optimism. No glass is half-empty to me; it's half-full"

    You're Dad sounds AWESOME!

    "I refuse to be drawn into the Murphy's Law of life, wherein anything bad that can happen, will. Just call me Little Debbie Sunshine, haha!"

    You GO, Debbie Sunshine!!!!!!

    Much thanks for stopping by and adding your thoughts and feelings to this post topic, my friend! Have a super week!

    X

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  63. Geraldine H.June 04, 2014

    Soooo true Ron, so true.


    I found myself nodding my head as I read your words. Being vulnerable, opening ourselves, our hearts and minds to other people IS scary. But what is life without that kind of willingness to let go and to show who we really are? A dull and ordinary life indeed.

    I think the fear factor is something we all grapple with. I know that when I'm going through a really good or even just peaceful period in life, I am also (whether I want to admit it or not) expecting the "other shoe to drop" and the rain to start falling again, hard!


    I guess that's something we never really get away from entirely. And the reality is, the highs won't last forever, the rain will come again, the losses, the broken hearts....but if we can say we went for it and the sun came out to warm our souls and we soared way up high... however brief at times that might be, it IS all worthwhile.

    Thanks for a wonderful post to end my time on the computer right now. I'm so glad I clicked through to see what was new here.


    Hope you have a fab week in Philly. any snow left? It's cold here in BC, minus 16C yesterday...brrr, that's a cold temp. for here.

    Hugs, G

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