I Finally Succumbed To Wearing A Mask


Yup, I did it. This week I finally succumbed to wearing a mask.

Up until now, I hadn't worn one because only recently have they been made mandatory in Philadelphia whenever you're in close vicinity with people, such as in stores. Besides, I've been so turned off to masks because many of the residents in this city have been carelessly throwing their used masks all over the sidewalks, as well as their used latex gloves. Our pavements are scattered with masks and gloves. It's disgusting. And yet our mayor does absolutely nothing about it. As a mayor, he is a total joke. I think his only previous experience as a mayor was when he was the mayor of Munchkinland in the Wizard of Oz.

And just for the record, although I didn't wear a mask, I always carried my own hand sanitizer, a packet of travel Kleenex (just in case I sneezed), and made sure I was at least 6 feet from other people. And those three things I still do.

Anyway, the first (and primary) reason I didn't wear a mask is that they've been impossible to find. I mean, have you tried finding masks where you live? It's like trying to find theater tickets to the Broadway show, Hamilton, when it first opened. It ain't happening.

I have even tried ordering masks online--several times.

Nada!

And from what I've heard, masks are on backorder, which means we probably won't be getting them until the pandemic is over.

The second reason I didn't wear a mask is that I was very concerned about how it would look.

I resisted making my own mask because I feared that I would end up looking like a wild, wild west bank robber. I even went on YouTube to see if I could find a video tutorial and oh my god, I found a million of them! It appears that everyone in the entire world is an expert on how to make masks. But what I find hysterical is that the videos are pretty much all duplicates. Every vlogger is making the same tutorial.

I've been so desperate to find a mask that would look stylish and chic, I even considered emailing Anna Wintour, editor-in-chief of New York Vogue, just to see if she could give me any leads on finding a Covid-19 mask designed by Chanel, Tom Ford, or Donna Karan. 

But alas...I eventually had to break down and make a mask on my own by using one of my t-shirts. I simply eyeballed the measurements, and cut. It took me no more than three minutes. And that's exactly how it looks.

Three minutes.

Here it is:

Be honest, I look like a friggin' bank robber, don't I?


In this next photograph, I made the mask a bit more stylish and chic by adding the infamous Chanel interlocking double C's.

Strike a pose! Vogue...


You know, this whole mask thing got me thinking it's a shame that it's not October and closer to Halloween because we'd have access to plenty of masks that were not only stylish, but fun as well!

Here are some of my favorites:

An Astronaut

(I love how he didn't bother to blend his blush when he applied his makeup that morning)...


Being that I idolize vampires, I think this one is "bloody" fabulous...


This next mask would be ideal for whenever I go shopping at Trader Joe's because they allow senior citizens (which I am) to shop at 8 AM, before the store officially opens at 9...


OMG...could you just picture me walking through the front door at Trader Joe's as Michael Myers?
I think this mask would definitely invoke a strong sense of social distancing.
And quickly...


As you all know, for as long as I've had this blog (13 years), I've used the face of George Jetson as my avatar. So, this vintage Halloween mask would be perfect for me, don't you think?...


Oh, and speaking of The Jetsons, isn't this animated GIF of Jane putting on her face in the morning, priceless???



In my next life I want to come back as a Minion because I think they are so cute.
I adore this mask...



And last but not least....

...this stylish mask is reserved for anyone in your life who you could clearly label: an asshole...


Wishing you a week filled with humor, everyone!
And be well...💗

36 comments

  1. Valerie DaggattApril 22, 2020

    OMG stop it. I laughed so much I swear you could hear me. Seriously, which one are you facing the world in?
    I bought my mask and have yet to wear it. I think that's because I don't ever go outside the house lol. I bought a respectable blue number, just one, but the sellers sent a load more. I think they misunderstood the figure 1 for 21. What fun, eh? Oh it is good to have a laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ron, I don't even know where to start because this post is HYSTERICAL. Your comment about your mayor of Munchkinland was brilliant! I can't believe the residents of your city are permitted to just toss their used masks and gloves on the streets. Don't your police force do anything about it? I bought my masks very early, so I have about a dozen. But if they ever run out, I'll have to make one too. The GIF Jane putting on her face is genius. Oh, if it were only that easy in the morning. LOL!

    I can't tell you how loud I laughed when I saw your "last but least" mask. You are so funny!

    Thank you so much for the mid-week chuckles, Ron.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ron, I don't even know where to start because this post is HYSTERICAL. Your comment about your mayor of Munchkinland was brilliant! I can't believe the residents of your city are permitted to just toss their used masks and gloves on the streets. Don't your police force do anything about it? I bought my masks very early, so I have about a dozen. But if they ever run out, I'll have to make one too. The GIF Jane putting on her face is genius. Oh, if it were only that easy in the morning. LOL!

    I laughed so hard when I saw your "last but least" mask. You, sir, are so funny!

    Thank you so much for the mid-week chuckles, Ron.

    ReplyDelete
  4. When we moved to Philadelphia one of the first things someone told me was that the unofficial nickname for it was "Filthadelphia" and that kind of fit in with what we had observed when we were there house hunting - people flinging chicken bones out their car window as they were driving along. My go to line was "When I lived in Alexandria the streets were so clean you could eat off of them, in Philadelphia you can eat off the streets because that's where the food is". (I'm very glad to be back living in Northern Virginia.) A friend was kind enough to send me some masks she had made because the ones I ordered at the end of March have still not been received. I also made masks from a t-shirt, didn't look half as nice as your tho.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ""When I lived in Alexandria the streets were so clean you could eat off of them, in Philadelphia you can eat off the streets because that's where the food is"

    Bwhahahahaha! OMG, that's hilarious, Grace because it's SO true! You know, people always talk about NYC being dirty, but I don't agree because I'm there a lot and I see many different areas of the city. On the other hand, Philadelphia is a pig sty. And no one cares.

    Happy to hear that your friend sent you masks.That is so nice! God only knows when we'll have masks in our stores because they're on backorder.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a superb rest of your week!
    X

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey there Valerie!

    Happy to hear you had a giggle. I had so much putting fun putting this post together and searching for Halloween masks.

    "I bought a respectable blue number, just one, but the sellers sent a load more. I think they misunderstood the figure 1 for 21. What fun, eh? "

    HA! OMG that's funny! Hey, but at least you have a good supply of masks because you never know when you'll need them.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, dear friend. Have a great rest of your week!

    X to you and Mr. Charlie

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hello Candice!

    HA! Yes, our mayor is a baffoon. He lives in one of the most expensive parts of the city, far removed from all the litter and garbage spewed on the streets, so he could care less.

    Our police force (which is actually very good) is too busy right now, keeping all the riff raff off the streets because now that most people are indoors, these people are causing a lot of trouble because they have no way of peddling for money for their addictions.

    OMG, that's AWESOME! You were so smart to purchase your masks early. Way to go!

    Isn't that last mask too damn funny? I just couldn't resist.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a faaaaaabulous rest of your week!
    X

    ReplyDelete
  8. Funny, I was just thinking the other day that it's too bad this isn't happening around Halloween because of the mask situation. I like all of those you shared...especially Old Man Bingo. Personally, I'd go with Darth Vader. Actually, being Darth Vader would come in handy nowadays. You could use the force to fill your shopping cart with items from the grocery store and never have to touch them. If nothing else, you'd save a fortune on hand sanitizer.

    Stay safe, stay clean, and remember to blend your blush before heading out, my friend!

    ReplyDelete
  9. What a day-brightener you have here, Ron! And I expect by now, we ALL need a good laugh! With the way things are going, we'll probably wind up using Halloween masks in the Fall, if we can't come up with a cure/preventative for this dreaded virus.


    I'm glad you finally succumbed to wearing a mask. I don't want any of my friends getting coronavirus. I too made one of those T-shirt masks, and it doesn't look one bit better than yours! I hate wearing the darn thing because I feel like somebody's strapped a *pillow* over my mouth and nose and is trying to smother me! It was easier when it was COLD outside, and I could wrap a more stylish scarf around the lower half of my face.


    Stay safe, my friend! (That's truly disgusting about the abandoned face masks and gloves just lying on the streets -- shame on the powers-that-be!!) xo

    ReplyDelete
  10. I resisted the mask thing, but did start wearing one a few weeks ago. We made them with some soft white cotton squares (similar to undershirts) we had and used rubber bands and staples. My husband found a video where you 'accordion' the material before stapling so that you can open it up after putting it on. The worst part for me is that my glasses tend to fog up when wearing the mask at times. I guess I'm full of hot air!!!

    OMG is that last mask gross! Lol! I think Minions are adorable, too. I enjoyed all your mask ideas!

    ReplyDelete
  11. OMG, people flinging chicken bones out their car window is cracking me up! How bizarre!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ron, my girlfriend and I are working from home since this pandemic, so this morning while we were having our morning cup of green tea we read your post and both ROFLMAO! The photos and narratives of the Halloween masks were so damn funny. The one of Michael Myers was brilliant. My girlfriend loved the Jane Jetson GIF.

    We've had to make our own masks as well because the medical ones are impossible to find anywhere. We made ours from bandanas. We make sure to wash them often, just to keep them sanitary.

    I love minions too. Have you seen the movies?

    Dude, thanks for the laughs. You're keeping us entertained!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hiya Matt!

    I love the movie, Halloween, so I just had to share the Michael Myers mask! I love the Jane Jetson GIF too. I wasn't really planning on adding anything else from The Jetsons, however, when I spotted that, I HAD to use it.

    "We made ours from bandanas. We make sure to wash them often, just to keep them sanitary."

    Yes, I see A LOT of bandana masks here. I tried to find one in Target, but they didn't have any left. Yes, I've been washing my mask often as well. I sweat a lot, so I don't want my mask soaked in my own sweat.

    Aren't MINIONS the bomb? Yup, I've see all the movies and loved them!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a most excellent week!
    X

    ReplyDelete
  14. HA! I know, isn't that AH mask gross? There were several ones to choose from, so I tired to choose the one that was less gross. I mean, can you imagine wearing that at a Halloween party!?!

    " We made them with some soft white cotton squares (similar to undershirts) we had and used rubber bands and staples. My husband found a video where you 'accordion' the material before stapling so that you can open it up after putting it on."

    Yes, I think I saw a similar video clip on YouTube. You're sound much more professional, mine is just cut and tied on the back. I leave it around my neck when I'm outside, so that if I need to go into a store, I can just pull it up over my nose and mouth.

    "The worst part for me is that my glasses tend to fog up when wearing the mask at times. I guess I'm full of hot air!!!"

    HA! OMG...that made me laugh out loud!! My concern is that when it starts getting warm outside, I'll be sweating up a storm and feel like I can't breathe.

    LOVE Minions! I've seen all their movies.

    Thanks much for stopping by, my friend. Have a faaaaabulous rest of your week!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  15. HA! See, Mark,....great minds think a like, hu? If it were Halloween, we'd have TONS of masks to choose from.

    Isn't the Old Man Bingo funny? He needs some moisturizer though because his skin looks VERY dry. LOL!

    Darth Vader is a GREAT idea!!!!!

    "You could use the force to fill your shopping cart with items from the grocery store and never have to touch them. If nothing else, you'd save a fortune on hand sanitizer."

    LOVED that!!!!!

    You too, my friend. Stay safe and clean! Thanks so much for stopping by!

    X to you and Tara!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Bwhahahahahahaha! I know, can you freaking believe that?

    That's Philly though......totally BIZARRE

    ReplyDelete
  17. Helloooooooooooo there Debbie!

    "With the way things are going, we'll probably wind up using Halloween masks in the Fall, if we can't come up with a cure/preventative for this dreaded virus."

    You know, you're absolutely right because this is not all going away overnight.

    "I too made one of those T-shirt masks, and it doesn't look one bit better than yours! I hate wearing the darn thing because I feel like somebody's strapped a *pillow* over my mouth and nose and is trying to smother me!"

    OMG, I feel the same way, i kid you not! On days when it's been warmer, it feels like I'm being smothered. It's been on cool side here lately, but I am dreading summer because it gets VERY hot and humid here.

    I know, isn't it disgusting? I spend the whole day trying to maneuver my feet over the masks and gloves so that I don't slip on them.

    Thanks much for stopping by, my friend. Stay safe and well!

    XO

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ron, as you know, I'm a huge Chanel fan so I loved the edited picture of you with the double C's. That was too funny! Oh my god, I can't believe that people are flinging their masks and gloves on the sidewalk. That's truly disgusting. Be careful because you never know if someone who wore them was positive. You're Halloween masks are a riot!

    "(I love how he didn't bother to blend his blush when he applied his makeup that morning)" LOL!!!!!

    I got some medical masks from a friend of mine who is a nurse, but they will eventually be gone so I'm going to have to get creative with a DIY mask. I've seen some really cute ones on women that I've seen shopping in Publix.

    That final picture of the mask is hilarious! Yes, I do know of some assholes that the mask would be perfect for LOL!

    Thanks so much for always sharing your wonderful sense of humor, especially at a time like this. I really appreciate it.

    Have wonderful week, Ron xo

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hola Denise!

    HA! Yes, I knew of your passion for Chanel! Many years ago when I was still living in Florida, I worked for them as a makeup artist.

    I know, isn't it disgusting? Yes, I've been VERY care not to go near the masks and the gloves with my shoes. Whenever I'm walking, I have to walk with my eyes looking at the pavement just to be sure none are in front of me.

    It's awesome that you were able to get masks from your friend who's a nurse. Great friend! Yes, I've seen some really nice looking masks as well. Very creative!

    "I do know of some assholes that the mask would be perfect for LOL!"

    Yeah...I do too!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, girl. Have a super week and stay safe and well!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  20. Oh Ron, I never even thought about that. Has your city seen more crime at the moment because of the lockdown?

    ReplyDelete
  21. I don't know specifically, but I have noticed the police patrolling the streets a lot, just to make sure. Also, many of the retail stores have their windows and doors boarded up just in case anyone tried to break in and steal things. I will say that I've had a lot of people on the street come up to me and ask me for money. More so than usual. You have to be very careful when walking the streets right now.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Rob LenihanApril 22, 2020

    Holy crap, Ron, you do look like a bank robber! Be careful the next time you go into your local branch--you may wind up in handcuffs! (And not in the good way!)

    I can't believe people in Philly are trashing up their own streets like that. I'll see the occasional glove or mask around here, but nothing like you described.

    Love all your mask selections, but I think my favorite is the George Jetson, since he is your spiritual twin. This night mare is liable to go on for a while so stock up on the masks and keep that sanitizer handy!

    Take care, buddy!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hey there Rob!

    See!!!! At least I'm not the only one who thinks I look like a bank robber! Whenever I go into Trader Joe's or Target, I keep imagining the workers are looking at me and calling security. HA!

    "I can't believe people in Philly are trashing up their own streets like that. I'll see the occasional glove or mask around here, but nothing like you described."

    OMG...the masks and gloves (especially in area where I live) are just sprinkled throughout the pavement. And our mayor does nothing about it.

    Isn't the George Jetson mask perfect? And you're right, this is liable to go on for awhile (at least through the summer), so I need to stock up.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, buddy. Just know I'm continuing to send you and New York LOTS of positive energy! Stay well.

    X

    ReplyDelete
  24. " I think his only previous experience as a mayor was when he was the mayor of Munchkinland in the Wizard of Oz."

    Ron, that is not only hysterical, but flawlessly correct! And I loved reading what one of your readers said, "Filthadelphia" LOL! So true! Where we live (in South Philly) it's so trashy. The thing about Philly is that some areas look nice, but then you can cross the street and it's like a bomb exploded.

    LOVE your Halloween masks! My hubby and I enjoyed this post so much. We laughed our butts off. We found masks at one of the family owned convenient stores near our house several weeks ago. We're being very careful about using them because we don't want to run out. I have a feeling we'll have to get creative and make them eventually.

    Thank you for your humor, Ron. We all need to remember to take time and laugh at this time.

    Take care! ox

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hello there Elaine!

    HA! That's the first image that came to my mind when I tried to describe our mayor. OMG, I know, the thing about South Philly is that it's all over the place. Some of the streets are really well kept and really nice, but as you said, a block down it looks like a war zone. I'm not a fan of South Philly, it's got a weird vibe. In fact, I think that last time I was there was well over 8 years ago.

    And congrats on finding the masks. Hold onto them because god only knows when they'll be back on the shelves.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Hope your week is going well. Stay safe and well!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  26. http://ladyfi.wordpress.comApril 24, 2020

    LOL!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. HA! Aren't I a crazy man?

    Thanks so much for stopping by, Fiona! Hope you're arm is healing well!

    Have a superb weekend!
    X

    ReplyDelete
  28. As funny as they are, none of those plastic masks would work because of the breathing opening. But oh my God, did you ever wear one as a kid for Halloween? They were suffocating. I had one the year I dressed as Pebbles from the Flintstones. (And yeah, I know how much that dates me!)

    I actually like the one you made - classic black. I prefer the less showy ones.You know, I think people who order back-ordered masks will have ample opportunity to wear them during one of the predicted resurgences. This thing isn't going away any time soon.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Yes, I realize that these masks are not practical for the pandemic. This post is a spoof of my silly sense of humor.

    Yes...OMG...I most certain have wear one (actually many times) as a kid for Halloween. And yes, they could feel very suffocating; especially if on Halloween night it was unusually warm.

    Besides The Jetsons, The Flintstones was my favorite cartoon at that time. One was in the future, the other was in past.

    Me too, I like plain and simple, with no busy pattern. Which is why I chose a solid color.

    " I think people who order back-ordered masks will have ample opportunity to wear them during one of the predicted resurgences."

    Yup, I definitely think you're right!

    Thanks much for stopping by, my friend. Hope you're enjoying a great weekend!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  30. LOL! Um....yes, you do look like a bank robber—but a stylish one with the Chanel logo. :-) I found some masks I took from the hospital when Entrepreneur was in with his brain surgery (I'm sure I paid for them in some hospital charge). I had tucked away in a first aid kit. I also tried my hand in making some. Check out this mask on https://bit.ly/2KHsP23 and tell me what you think? :-) I think they could be all the rage if this last much longer. I think an entire post could be written on the types of "masks" people wear that have nothing to do with physical masks. Glad you are staying healthy. Take care and be well. X

    ReplyDelete
  31. OMG Lisa, I checked out the mask link you left and LOVED IT! It's so GOTH! In fact, I loved the whole website and name! The mask looks just like my favorite bird, a raven! VERY cool! I would definitely wear it, however, I think the people on the streets here in Philly would probably faint. Believe it or not, Philly is very conservative.

    " I think an entire post could be written on the types of "masks" people wear that have nothing to do with physical masks."

    What a GREAT idea!!!!

    Happy to read that you had some masks left over. And yeah, I'm sure you did pay for them in the hospital bill $$

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend!
    X

    ReplyDelete
  32. That style is called Steampunk. Hannibal, a town in Missouri, actually has a steampunk festival every year. It's a bit on the strange side!

    ReplyDelete
  33. DA PerrucciMay 02, 2020

    This was a funny post, but how scary would it be if come October and adults are actually walking around with faces like these. Oh wait, they may actually be wearing their own faces after such a long period of self-isolation and that wouldn't be funny but so sad. I don't know much about Philly these days, but years ago when I attended Temple U it didn't seem that bad, but of course I was much younger and more naive back then. I don't believe the mayor at that time was any better than the one you've described. and hope the Munchkins aren't too offended (smile).

    ReplyDelete
  34. DA PerrucciMay 02, 2020

    And, it's just not in Philly that careless/thoughtless people are discarding masks and gloves. Just this morning I saw (more) masks and gloves on the sidewalks here in Nashua, NH.

    ReplyDelete
  35. "... but how scary would it be if come October and adults are actually walking around with faces like these. Oh wait, they may actually be wearing their own faces after such a long period of self-isolation and that wouldn't be funny but so sad. "

    OMG, I loved that! Funny and true!

    I was born in Philly, but my family moved to Florida, which is where I lived for 20 years, until I moved back east in 2001. I'm not a fan of Philly. Never have, never will be. I don't care for the energy or the consciousness of Philadelphia. And it is not the "City of Brotherly Love." The only reason I stay here is because I'm close to New York City, which is also where I lived for 5 years. And if the rent was more affordable, I will move back in a heartbeat. LOVE that city!

    Thanks soooooooooooo much for stopping back and sharing your comments. I'm so happy to have met you!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  36. It's so ironic you mentioned that because I thought of your post today while I was walking home from the park and spotted several masks and gloves on the street. Isn't that disgusting? I don't understand how people just carelessly toss their used items on the ground.

    ReplyDelete

I moderate all comments before publishing. Thank you for stopping by.