Wednesday, April 22, 2020

I Finally Succumbed To Wearing A Mask

Yup, I did it. This week I finally succumbed to wearing a mask.

Up until now, I hadn't worn one because only recently have they been made mandatory in Philadelphia whenever you're in close vicinity with people, such as in stores. Besides, I've been so turned off to masks because many of the residents in this city have been carelessly throwing their used masks all over the sidewalks, as well as their used latex gloves. Our pavements are scattered with masks and gloves. It's disgusting. And yet our mayor does absolutely nothing about it. As a mayor, he is a total joke. I think his only previous experience as a mayor was when he was the mayor of Munchkinland in the Wizard of Oz.

And just for the record, although I didn't wear a mask, I always carried my own hand sanitizer, a packet of travel Kleenex (just in case I sneezed), and made sure I was at least 6 feet from other people. And those three things I still do.

Anyway, the first (and primary) reason I didn't wear a mask is that they've been impossible to find. I mean, have you tried finding masks where you live? It's like trying to find theater tickets to the Broadway show, Hamilton, when it first opened. It ain't happening.

I have even tried ordering masks online--several times.

Nada!

And from what I've heard, masks are on backorder, which means we probably won't be getting them until the pandemic is over.

The second reason I didn't wear a mask is that I was very concerned about how it would look.

I resisted making my own mask because I feared that I would end up looking like a wild, wild west bank robber. I even went on YouTube to see if I could find a video tutorial and oh my god, I found a million of them! It appears that everyone in the entire world is an expert on how to make masks. But what I find hysterical is that the videos are pretty much all duplicates. Every vlogger is making the same tutorial.

I've been so desperate to find a mask that would look stylish and chic, I even considered emailing Anna Wintour, editor-in-chief of New York Vogue, just to see if she could give me any leads on finding a Covid-19 mask designed by Chanel, Tom Ford, or Donna Karan.

But alas...I eventually had to break down and make a mask on my own by using one of my t-shirts. I simply eyeballed the measurements, and cut. It took me no more than three minutes. And that's exactly how it looks.

Three minutes.

Here it is:

Be honest, I look like a friggin' bank robber, don't I?

In this next photograph, I made the mask a bit more stylish and chic by adding the infamous Chanel interlocking double C's.

Strike a pose! Vogue...

You know, this whole mask thing got me thinking it's a shame that it's not October and closer to Halloween because we'd have access to plenty of masks that were not only stylish, but fun as well!

Here are some of my favorites:

An Astronaut

(I love how he didn't bother to blend his blush when he applied his makeup that morning)...

Being that I idolize vampires, I think this one is "bloody" fabulous...

This next mask would be ideal for whenever I go shopping at Trader Joe's because they allow senior citizens (which I am) to shop at 8 AM, before the store officially opens at 9...

OMG...could you just picture me walking through the front door at Trader Joe's as Michael Myers?
I think this mask would definitely invoke a strong sense of social distancing.
And quickly...

As you all know, for as long as I've had this blog (13 years), I've used the face of George Jetson as my avatar. So, this vintage Halloween mask would be perfect for me, don't you think?...