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While strolling through Target over the weekend, I just so happened to walk past the clothing department, as my eyes suddenly focused on the holiday section, which included Christmas sweaters.

UGLY Christmas sweaters.

No wait, not ugly, more like HIDEOUS Christmas sweaters.

No wait, not hideous, more like TACKY-SENSORY OVERLOAD Christmas sweaters.

So tacky in fact, I wouldn't wear (let alone buy) one of these sweaters if I were stranded in Antarctica, wearing nothing but a tank top and a thong and freezing to death on a glacier. 

Nope, I'd much rather be caught dead than wear one of these sweaters to save my life.

Honest to God, this was the look on my face when I saw them...
 

 Okay, here we go.

The Sweaters

I love both flamingos and the color pink, but this sweater is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much.

And what's with all the tinseled pom-pom's, feathers, sequins, and the Christmas bells?

It's like they tried to put the entire New York City Garment District on this sweater...


This looks like a costume a showgirl would wear at Caesars Palace in Vegas because it's something you should only see at a distance.

Up-close, it's damaging...


As you all know, I ADORE cats.

But if someone gave me this sweater, I'd throw a handful of used kitty litter at them...


Hell, even a cat would hate this...


Oh and look, this sweater has a beverage pocket, which I'm assuming is to hold a can of beer. Which makes total sense because you'd have to be drinking (heavily) to wear this sweater...


And I love how they gave him a green nose instead of a red one...


I saved the worst for last.

This sweater is so scary that I couldn't physically get too close because I thought it would bite me. So I had to use my zoom lens. 

Before I show you, I have to ask if any of you remember the 1980's TV show, Solid Gold?
 
Well, this sweater looks like something the Solid Gold dancers would wear because they always had costumes that were DRIPPING in sequins. 


Okay, are you ready?

Try not to scream.

This sweater is my idea of a sequins BLING nightmare.

And it's no wonder they're wearing sunglasses...


Mr. and Mrs. Fernando Llamas...


And on my way out of Target, I spotted these slipper socks, which I thought would go lovely with the sequined sweater above.

Talk about OVERKILL...


This was the look on my face...


Have a fabulously fashionable week, y'all!
💗


*Suggestion: Do keep these items in mind if you're attending a holiday party in which the theme is: The Most Ugliest Christmas Sweater In The World. I guarantee you'll win First Place!

33 comments:

  1. Wow. Those are pretty bad, alright! I love flamingos, but even sweater is too over-the-top for me. Gotta admit though, I kinda like the one with the beverage pocket. I'm imagining walking through the neighborhood, admiring Christmas lights, with a travel mug of spiked cocoa right there within easy reach.

    Thanks for sharing these, Ron!

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  2. Hilarious, Ron! And I so needed to laugh because I've had one hell of a week. Your commentary of these sweaters is so damn funny. Loved the bit about a showgirl in Vegas. LOL! And I have to agree, it's tacky sensory overload/kill.

    Several years ago I attended a Christmas party where we were instructed to wear a ugly sweater, but I didn't show up with one. However, if I go to one this year I'll be sure to stop by Target. And I'm sure the closer it gets to Christmas, the price will drop.

    Thank you for your humor, Ron x

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  3. Um, I think, I HOPE, that is the point of those sweaters - as entries in the Ugliest Sweater meme. Oh but then there are probably folks who think these are the height of fashion *sigh*

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  4. "Oh but then there are probably folks who think these are the height of fashion *sigh*"

    OMG, Grace that CRACKED ME UP because you're absolutely right. And I didn't even think of that!

    And I bet your also right about the Ugliest Sweater meme!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Hope you had a superb weekend!

    X

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  5. Hey there Candice!

    Glad to hear you had a laugh, and I hope you have a better next week!

    Yes, either a Las Vegas showgirl OR a really bad drag queen! LOL!

    "However, if I go to one this year I'll be sure to stop by Target. And I'm sure the closer it gets to Christmas, the price will drop."

    Go for it! And I bet you're right, as it gets closer to Christmas the price will drop. They're currently $29.99/

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a great rest of your weekend!
    X

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  6. Yes, Mark, DEFINATELY over-the-top! Flamingos always remind me of my time spent living in Florida, particularly South Florida.

    "I kinda like the one with the beverage pocket. I'm imagining walking through the neighborhood, admiring Christmas lights, with a travel mug of spiked cocoa right there within easy reach."


    LOL! Yes, and with a straw!!

    Thanks much for stopping by, my friend. Hope you had a fantastic weekend!

    X

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  7. Man, those are some hideous sweaters (and slippers). The whole holiday sweater thing leaves me cold, honestly. My tradition at work has been that the week before Christmas, I wear a plain red or green sweater each day. With black pants or skirt. That's it - just the appropriate color, but no decorations on them. I would definitely lose an ugly sweater contest because I don't own even a less crazy Christmas sweater.

    And yes, I remember that show! It was a thing when I was in college. Everyone there was required to take 5 PE classes and I am not an athletic person, so I took a fencing and a bunch of dance classes. One was modern dance and a friend described it as "that Solid Gold dancer class." At least we didn't have to wear glitzy outfits!

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  8. " I wear a plain red or green sweater each day. With black pants or skirt. That's it - just the appropriate color, but no decorations on them."

    A-MEN! Me too! Must be a Libra thing because I'm a minimalist when it comes to holiday attire in the workplace. One time I wore a Christmas tie with a black shirt, but it was very subtle; nothing loud and tacky.

    OMG, so you DO remember Solid Gold?!? Anytime I mentioned it no one ever knows what I'm talking about.

    "I took a fencing and a bunch of dance classes. One was modern dance and a friend described it as "that Solid Gold dancer class."


    That's AWESOME!

    And speaking of fencing, that was a require class I took when I attended The American Academy of Dramatic Arts in NYC. And I have to say that I really enjoyed that class! I can still remember the sound of the swords when they "clanked" together.

    Have a superb week, my friend. And thanks so much for stopping by!
    X

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  9. "Mr. and Mrs. Fernando Llamas..." ROFLMAO! Ron, you crack me the hell up! Hands down, these are the FUGLIEST sweaters of all time. The last one is pretty damn scary. The sequins on the arms are so over the top. Do people really wear sweaters like this? For real?

    I really love this time of year, as Thanksgiving approaches and Christmas gets closer, I really do. But I started seeing Christmas stuff in the stores back in October.

    You never fail to entertain, dude. Thanks!

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  10. Hiya Matt!

    Yeah, I just couldn't resist that. LOL!

    Aren't these sweaters hideous? I was in Target on Friday, and then back today to get something I forgot to get, and I couldn't believe that they actually added MORE Christmas sweaters and holiday themed items in their clothing area. It's a very small Target, so the store seems overwhelmed with Christmas stuff.

    "I really love this time of year, as Thanksgiving approaches and Christmas gets closer, I really do. But I started seeing Christmas stuff in the stores back in October."

    Me too! And I agree about seeing Christmas items early. And each year it gets earlier and earlier. Nothing like rushing the holidays.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a faaaaaaaabulous week!

    X

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  11. Oh, my God, Ron, these sweaters would scare the Christmas clean out of St. Nick himself!

    All of a sudden I'm glad Christmas comes but once a year.

    These are the Covid-19s of sweaters!

    However, they did provide material for you to create this hilarious post! I love that horrified cat image because it sums up exactly how anyone outside of an insane asylum would react upon seeing them.

    Who needs water-boarding when you've got these atrocities?! They're so torturous they should be outlawed by the Geneva Convention.

    Thanks for this hysterically funny post, buddy! It really cheered me up. Now all I want for Christmas is to see you wearing one of them!

    Ho, ho, NO!

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  12. I knew I would get a laugh if I popped in but I didn't reckon on feeling sick at the same time. Seriously, I am grateful for the laugh but to hell with those garments, Hope you are well, dear friend.

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  13. Helloooooooooooooo there, Valerie!

    OMG....it was so GREAT to see your comment because you have been on my mind for the past week; wondering how you were and missing your presence in blogland. In fact, every so often I will click over to your blog to see if it's still there. Which it is.

    Aren't these sweaters HORRENDOUS? Talk about overkill.

    Happy to read to you had laugh. Hope all is well with you (and Charlie), and are enjoying Autumn. We finally got some nice cold weather here. It's been unseasonably warm, so I'm happy for the change.

    You take care and know that you are missed, dear friend!

    X

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  14. Hey there Rob!

    "These are the Covid-19s of sweaters!"

    OMG you're soooooo right!!!! Aren't these sweaters SCARY?!? They should come with a warning saying, "A mask is required while wearing these!" Either that, or you could wear one of these sweaters just to keep the virus AWAY from you. LOL!

    "Who needs water-boarding when you've got these atrocities?! They're so torturous they should be outlawed by the Geneva Convention."

    CRACKED ME UP!!! You are so funny!

    Ho, ho, NO! is right. I rather freeze to death.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, buddy. Have a most excellent week!

    X

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  15. Those are over the top, Ron! I’m cracking up, picturing you at a Target taking these pictures! Did anyone see you? I do remember Solid Gold and those sequin sleeves look so uncomfortable. Actually, I imagine all those sweaters feeling bulky and miserable while wearing. And how in the world do you wash them?

    Thanks for getting us in the Covid Christmas spirit! Lol! Those sweaters top off the worst year of the century! Have a super week!

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  16. Ron, this post is a hoot!! I haven't been inside a Target in months, but gee, I'm speechless at how much I'm missing!


    These are some seriously UGLY sweaters, my friend. How does one wash those things without all the glitter, pom-poms, and doo-dads not falling off in the machine? Can you imagine the mess?!? I kind of think llamas are cute (Dallas had a stuffed one!), but these are overkill. And that first sweater you pictured -- the one with the flamingos and feathers -- well, 'tacky' would be a compliment!


    Thanks for a much-needed laugh this morning. Enjoy the week ahead! xo

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  17. I know, aren't the INSANELY freaky?

    Yes, people saw me taking these pictures, and well as the security guy at the door. It's funny because when you live in a city (especially a city like NY), people are so used to seeing people taking pictures. It's so big deal. However, I'm always careful to not take photos with children in them, out of respect to the parents.

    "Actually, I imagine all those sweaters feeling bulky and miserable while wearing. And how in the world do you wash them?"

    OMG, I thought the same thing, how in the world would you wash them?!?

    "Thanks for getting us in the Covid Christmas spirit! Lol! Those sweaters top off the worst year of the century!"

    Ha! I agree! I can't wait for this year to be over.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a superb week!

    X

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  18. Hey there Debbie!

    I know, aren't this sweaters HIDEOUS? I have several Targets where I live. The one in which I took these photos is a very small one. It's considered to be like a 7-11 convenient store, where you can stop in to pick up a few things. It's not a very well-organized store, with stuff just thrown all over the place.

    ". How does one wash those things without all the glitter, pom-poms, and doo-dads not falling off in the machine? Can you imagine the mess?!?"

    I know, I thought the same thing. I'm assuming you'd have to have it dry cleaned with all the stuff all over them.

    Oh, I love llamas too. I LOVE their sweet little faces. However, not these tacky sweaters. It's an insult to llamas. LOL!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a faaaaaaaaabulous week ahead!

    X

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  19. Oh Ron, I needed this post so much on this Monday morning because it hasn't been a good one. I hope you don't mind but I shared it with one of my coworkers and she laughed her ass off, like me! " I wouldn't wear (let alone buy) one of these sweaters if I were stranded in Antarctica, wearing nothing but a tank top and a thong and freezing to death on a glacier. " LOL! HILARIOUS!!!

    These are by far the worst looking holiday sweaters ever. To much STUFF going on. Yes, I do know about Solid Gold and you're spot on about the sequins. I used to have such a crush on Tony Fields, I thought he was so cute!

    Ron, thank you so much for making me laugh today. I really appreciate it. You are loved x

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  20. Hola Denise!

    Aw....I'm so glad you had a laugh on this Monday morning. And no, I don't mind at all that you shared it with your coworker. The more the merrier! I think we can all use some humor right now.

    Aren't these sweaters the worst? I agree...to much STUFF going on. My taste is much more subdued when it comes to clothing; particularly holiday clothing.

    "Yes, I do know about Solid Gold and you're spot on about the sequins. I used to have such a crush on Tony Fields, I thought he was so cute!"

    HA! Yes, he was cute! The only had two guys in the dance group. I loved the black girl. She was SUCH a great dancer. And beautiful!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, girl. Have a faaaaaantastic week!

    X

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  21. Ohemgeeeee! Those are beyond hideous. But, I've heard there are "ugly Christmas sweater" parties, so there's that....... I was just about to email you since I hadn't seen a posting from you in a while. Thought maybe you had accidentally been caught up in some of the rioting in Philadelphia. Happy you are still alive and well. Hope your holiday season is wonderful...and tasteful. 😆

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  22. Aren't they horrendous, Lisa? And yes, they're perfect for an "Ugly Christmas Sweater" party. However (in Philly), I've seen in past years wearing these kinds of sweaters all throughout the holiday. Oh well, whatever floats their boat. LOL!

    " I was just about to email you since I hadn't seen a posting from you in a while. Thought maybe you had accidentally been caught up in some of the rioting in Philadelphia. "

    Thanks for your concern, my friend. I've just been focusing my energy on my job for the past couple of weeks; leaning new things. And yes, the riots here were insane. Thankfully though, they were not in the area where I live. Yet, all the retails stores and restaurants boarded up their windows, just in case.

    Have a faaaaaaaaabulous week! And much thanks for stopping by!

    X

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  23. http://ladyfi.wordpress.comMonday, November 16, 2020

    Mowhahaha! Those sweaters are too much - and that's from someone who may occasionally buy a second-hand Christmas sweater just for fun! Those llamas with the sequinned sleeves - !!!!!

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  24. "....Those llamas with the sequinned sleeves - !!!!!"


    OMG....isn't that sweater the worst? It's actually painful to look at.

    And you said, there are Christmas sweaters and then CHRISTMAS SWEATERS just as these, which are overkill and sensory overload. LOL!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have an AWESOME week! I loved your photographs in your post today!

    X

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  25. I needed a bit of humor this morning, Ron, and you sure provided it again. Actually, I had read this post and laughed at the ugly sweaters earlier this week and thought I posted a comment then. But, in re-reading it and the comments from others didn’t see it posted, so maybe it never made it as I tend to read and comment early in the a.m. when sometimes half awake.

    It is great how we can all find humor by by looking around wherever we go. The thing is to just keep looking as you showed and glad that store management didn’t object. Years ago, I was taking photos of Christmas decos in a department store and asked by security not to do it. Maybe, they thought I was going into the ornament business, but then I would have needed a factory in China, not happening. I was just looking for images to use for holiday cards for friends.

    Thanks again, for the smiles today. I agree that it was great to see Valerie’s comment and, like you, hope that she and Charlie are well as she is missed in blogland.

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  26. Hey there D!

    I am so sorry about that. I checked both my spam folder in Disqus and Blogger, and didn't find the comment you left earlier this week. Every so often Disqus has a glitch and somehow eat comments randomly. If that happens again to you, let me know. And thanks so much for stopping back and re-commenting, I appreciate that.

    "Maybe, they thought I was going into the ornament business, but then I would have needed a factory in China, not happening. I was just looking for images to use for holiday cards for friends."

    HA! OMG, I love your sense of humor!!! How true!!!

    I've never had issues taking photographs in stores. However, I'm always conscious about getting people in my photographs; particularly children. I think city stores are different, they're used to people taking pictures, especially in a city like NY.

    Don't you miss Valerie? She and I blogged together for so long (10 years), so it's sad when people decided to no longer blog. However, she and I do stay in touch via email.

    Again, thanks so much for stopping back, my friend. Hope you're enjoying a grrrreat week!

    X

    P.S. We're finally getting some nice cold Autumn weather!

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  27. Ron, I read this post several days ago but wanted to wait to comment until I went to the Target in my neighborhood to see if they carried them and the did! OMG...they're even worst-looking in person than in photos! This post is very funny. Both my hubby and I read it and laughed, and then laughed again when we saw them in person because the way you described them was so accurate.

    "It's like they tried to put the entire New York City Garment District on this sweater..."

    LOL!

    Two things. Yes, I do remember Solid Gold and it's so true, they did overload on the sequins. And I love the expression on the cats face.

    Thanks for always making my husband and I laugh or think. We love reading your posts!

    Are you enjoying the COLD weather we got today? I sure as hell am. xo

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  28. Hey there Elaine!

    So you went to Target and SAW them? Aren't they hideous? And you're so right, they look even WORSE in person!!! And they're not exactly cheap either. I'm sure the price will be reduced the closer it gets to Christmas. Did you see all the other clothing as well? The socks, the slippers, the PJ's, etc.?

    I knew you'd remember Solid Gold!!! It was soooooooooooooo 80's! It's kind of like American Bandstand was in the 50's.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, neighbor. And yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I am thoroughly enjoying this cold weather. However, people are already complaining about it. And do you know what I say to them? Too bad. I had to deal with the horrendous heat of last summer, now it's your turn to deal with the cold. HA!

    Have a great rest of your week!
    X

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  29. I'm looking forward to our firs snowfall, Ron!

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  30. Meeeeeeeeee too, Elaine! Can't wait. And I hope we have more snow this winter than last year. :)

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  31. Thanks Ron for the comment reply, honestly, the error might have been mine. I usually do a.m. blog reading in bed vs. news headlines and most likely did not press “post.” Glad Philly is getting some fall weather too.

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  32. Hi again Ron, forgot to add in my earlier comment that I am making my holiday card list and checking it twice and more AND I would like to include yourself (really). Despite what others may be doing or not, I actually enjoy sending cards and this year it's more important than ever to stay in contact. That said, you can send your contact info (name & address) to the email listed on my blog site.
    And Happy Thanksgiving to you 🦃

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  33. Hello again, D!

    OMG, you are so sweet and thoughtful! Yes, I will be sure to stopped by your blog and get your email address, and then send you my info.

    And HAPPY THANKSGIVING to you too!

    ((((((((((( YOU )))))))))))))
    X

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